The Quarterly of the Texas State Historical Association, Volume 9, July 1905 - April, 1906 Page: 186
ix, 294 p. : ill. ; 23 cm.View a full description of this periodical.
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Texas Historical Association Quarterly.
ful what, in my moments of desperation, I have often-feared is
certain-that you had forgotten your poor, wayward brother. Why
is it so ? Why have you not written ? War, it is true, "opens a
vein that bleeds Nations to death;" but why should it invade the
sanctity of social connection? Why should it dissolve fraternal
bonds or sunder domestic ties? Is it necessary that we should be
morally, as well as physically separated? That the associations of
infancy, the remembrances of child hood, the anticipations of
youth, and the common pleasures, hopes, and fears of better and
happier days, should be forgotten, and we pursue our weary and
desolate track through life, as if neither had existed? Is it neces-
sary because we are separated, because the billows of the Atlantic,
or the Pillars of the Alleghany are between us, that all the ties'
which bound us, in other days should be severed? I trust not.
Why then do you not avail yourself of that medium of com-
munion, which language proffers? Have I rendered myself un-
worthy of your affection? I know my course, since I left home,
has been erratic in the extreme. But can you conceive of no rea-
son why it has been so ? If you can recall the events of the last
few years, you must; if you can not, you may then perhaps, with
justice, censure me for that reckless indifference, to my hopes and
prospects in life, with which, I have so often been charged. It is
true that I have passed unimproved many opportunities of ac-
quiring the good opinion of my fellow men, but why was it so?
Because early misfortunes have broken and seared a heart, perhaps
too sensitive, and blighted all the hopes which a disposition too
sanguine, has prompted me to form and cherish. Can I change
the fiat of fate? Can I control the waves of mighty destiny?
My life has indeed, been a wayward and useless one; and you
can not be more sensible of it, or more sincerely deplore it, than
myself. But, notwithstanding all my faults and follies, I have
never failed in respect for the soil of birth, regard for my native
village, love for my home, or affection for my relatives. I have
never forgotten: and many an hour of my loneliness has been con-
sumed by thoughts of them. Often has the recollection of the past
and of you, arrested me on the brink of acts of deeper reckless-
ness, and of more irremediable desperation so far as this world is
concerned, than any I had hitherto committed, Still a latent hope186
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Texas State Historical Association. The Quarterly of the Texas State Historical Association, Volume 9, July 1905 - April, 1906, periodical, 1906; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth101036/m1/190/: accessed March 29, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas State Historical Association.