The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 1, Ed. 1 Wednesday, October 3, 1923 Page: 3 of 4
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"Wot you doin', chile?"
"Nothin', mammy."
: "My, but yah is gettin' like yah
father."
HENRY ELLIS
STAPLE AND FANCY
GROCERIES
Phone 118
"Bell is shaving himself."
"But why all the argument?"
"He is trying to talk himself
into having a massage."
DRINKS
FOUNTAIN or BOTTLED
NEWS-STAND
Barham Confectionery
PERRY BROTHERS
DRUG STORE
THE OLD RELIABLE
Has everything the student might need in the,
way of Pencils/ Pens, Tablets; Composition
Books, Theme Tablets, Etc.
We extend a cordial welcome to you to make
our drug Store your headquarters while down
town.
PERRY BROTHERS
DRUS AND JEWELRY
LATHAM BROS.
Modern Tailors, Clothiers, Cleaners
Quick service, &ee
delivery. Clothes called for and
Delivered
THREE LATEST HOFFMAN STEAM PRESSES,
>ur gaiur<gnts
will
r,n">
receive b«?**sonal attention^ at, our
sfyf)p. no pt-v. . ...
'an. 4$iyidual sewing room-—alterations, receive special,
attention; no job is too difficult for this department.
PHONE m ANY DAY
LATHAM BROS.
P^JHONE 441.
\
South Side Square
ITS OUR BUSINESS TO
REPAIR YOUR SHOES
i a
WE DOUBLE THEIR LIFE
f>£
Belknap Street
ARMSTRONG & ROBERTS
It is our pleasure to serve at any time and we
Guarantee Satisfaction
WORK CALLED FOR AND DELIVERED
ARMSTRONG & ROBERTS
Phone 254
TAILORS
Phone 254
THE MAJESTIC BAKERY
Carries a full line of cakes, from Devils Food
to Apgel Food, also Pies and Cookies of vari-
ous kinds. If its a fancy Bakei-y product we
have it. If we have it, it is a fancy Bakery
product.
MAJESTIC BAKERY
; Home of Snow White Bread
POEMS AND VERSES
Here's The Girl To Marry
Here's to the girl, the prettiest
girl
The sweetest girl to me;
Her face is on the dollar
And her name is Liberty.
She will clothe you, she will feed
you,
She will take you out of soak,
And with her picture in your
You will never need be broke.
visiting our house an' ma doesn't{been
want'em to come again."
Single Holiness
,Tim: "How are you getting;
along at home while- your wife's
away ?" , 1 ■
Jim: "Fine, I've reached the
height of efficiency. I can put on
my socks from either end."
He who has a thing to sell
And goes and whispers in a well
Is not so apt to get the dollars
As he who climbs a tree and
hollers.
The Best of Everything
The best law—The Golden Rule,
The be'st education—Self knowl-
edge.
The best science—Extracting
sunshine from a rainy day. ;
.. The best mathematics—Multi-
plying the joys and dividing the
sorrows of othei's.
The best art—Painting a smile
upon the brow of a child.
The best music—The laughter
of happy children.
I Ain't Mad No More
Les' play horse—'ats what les' do!
I ain't mad no more wif you;
Wasn't itla long time though,
At you wouldn't speak t' me
An' I wouldn't speak t' you?
Ifwas mostly half past two
When you wanted what I had.
An' I sassed you back so bad,
An' its now mosfhalf past free!
I ain't mad no more wif you
Les' play* horse—'ats what les'
do.
It's Nice To Lie Abed
A city man who w;en to work on
a farm was awakened the first
morning about 3 o'clock.
"Roll out," vsaid the farmer,*
"What's the1; matter; -is the
house'afire?" Vs^ed the city man
with si yawn.
"No, its time to .go to work," re-
j*IW1 the farmer.
"What, kind of work can you do
this time of day?"
"Milk the cows," <answeretl the
farmer, his anger, .arising.
"Well, you don't have to sneak
up an 'em in the dark, do you?"
asked the exasperated city man,—
$1 pi'izeto Stanley B. Gordon, ,519
GtieVro St., San Francisco, Calif.
Mother: "Goodness! Don't ask
so many questions. Don't you
know that curiosity once1 killed a
eat?"
Small Daughter: "And what
did the pussy cat want to know,
mother?"
Harsh Criticism
Alice for the first time saw a
cat carrying her kittens by the
nape of its neck.
"You ain't fit toi be a'mother,"
she cried scathingly.
"You ain't hardly fit to be a
father." • -
Ideal Management
Artillery Rookie (about to take
his first lesson in horsemanship):
"Sergeant, please pick me out a
nice, gentle, peace-loving horse."
Stable Sergeant: "D'ja ever
ride a horse before?"
Rookie: "No."
Sergeant: "Ah! Here's just the
animal for you. Never been rid-
den before. "You can start out
together."
Breaking The Pair
During a very hot spell a man
was riding in his Ford with one
foot hanging out over the door,
A small boy,' noticing this, shout-
ed after him; "Hey, Mister; Did
you lose your other roller shate?"
Obliging
Tramp "Your, dog just bit a
piece of flesh out of my leg,
mam."
Woman : "Glad you mentioned
it. I was just going to feed him."
Page Mr. Gillette
, ^Miss Angleworm: "Oh, Mr.
Caterpillar, I do wish you'd get a
shave."
They Both Wondered
Irate Mother: "What do you
mean, sir, by kissing my daughter
last night?"
The Lad: "That's what I've
been trying to figure out . ever
since I saw her this morning;"
Maudie: "Whats wrong with
the car? It squeaks dreadfully."
Jimmie: "Can't be helped;
there's pig iron in the axles."
my
"That burglar insulted me."
"How?"
"He demanded my money or
life."
"Well?" - .
"All I had was 65c and he took
that in preference to my life."v
"Is he lazy?"
"Lazy? Say; that fellow rides
in a Ford car in order to save the
effort of knocking ashes off his
cigar." ,
"Willie," asked the teacher,
"What is the plural of man?" •
"Men," answered the small pu-
pil, "and the plural of child?"
"Twins," was the prompt re-
ply- . .
A Repeat Order
"Ma wants two pounds of but-
ter zackly like what you sent us
last week."
"All right, my . boy," said the
grocer, quite pleased to have the
other customers overhear the
youngster.
"Ma said it mu'st '-be" zackly " the
same kind," the boy insisted,
"'cause a lot of pa's relatives are
Why thg Sleeping Draught Failed
Disgusted Patient: "Your Sleep-
ing dnmght wasn't a bit of good."
rne oeasciy thing wouldn't touch
it."
- Amazed Doctor: "What thing?.'"
Patient,: "The cats ;£hat keep
me awake. '
as sympathetic, as your
mother's. Your Father.
"P. S. Your mother has just
left the room. Stay single you
d—d fool—stay single." ~
Just So
Mother: "Yes, Rupert the baby,
was a Christmas present from the
Angels."
Rupert (aged four): "Well,
mamma, if we lay him away care-
fully and don't use him, we can
give him to somebody else next
Christmas."
Antartic Diet
Talking about a shortage of
food at one period during his last
expedition, Sir Ernest Shackleton
tells a story of one of his compan-
ions.
On his return to, England his
bootmaker met him and asked :
"How did you find those boots I
made for you ?"
"Best I ever tasted, was the
prompt reply."
It Made a Difference
Little Florence had a very bad
toothache and was crying softly
to herself. Her aunt, who was a
believer in Christian Science,
went over to the. little girl and
said: "If you had my faith dear,
you would have no toothache."
Florence continued to sob, but
between sobs she, replied; "Well,
Aunt Grace, if you had my tooth-
ache, you wouldn't have any
faith,"
Support the J-Tac advertisers.
Tell them you saw it aidvertised
in the J-Tac.
Aimed To Please
Clerk: "What'll I tell the cus-
tomer—the undershirt shrinks or
doesn't shrink?" . ■ ^ ■
Proprietor: "Is it too large or
too small?" y ^
Clerk: ■ "Two sizes too",big."
Proprietor: '"Guarantee it to
shriiik at the first washing."
COLLEGE STUDENTS
WELCOME
HILL & SON
—SHOE SHOP— ■*
AiiL WORK GUAliAiYTjSEB ■
Satisfaction Our Motto
VISIT THE
BARGAIN HOUSE
-ALUMINUM A SPECIALTY
North Side Square
The Old Man Gives Advice
Letter from a father, to his son
whp has announced his intention,
of marrying:
Dear Son: Naturally nothing
concerns me so much as your hap-
piness in life. Mother is leaning
over my shoulder as I write these
lines and as I gaze into her brown
eyes, in which the light of love
still beams, I can only wish for
you the happiness she has brought
me.
In your choice of a helpmate,
I pray you will find a woman
whose devotion has been as stead-
fast, whose understanding has
O, YE TARLETONS
PATE BROS.
Is the Place to Have Your
BARBER WORK DONE
0. A.SMITH
We carry a full line of
STAPLE & FANCY GROCERIES
Vegetables and that Good
SNOW WHITE BREAD
Your Patronage Solicited
0.A.SMITH
MAJESTIC THEATRE
The Home of Good Pictures
Monday and Tuesday
HAROLD LLOYD
in :
a
SAFETY LAST"
MAJESTIC THEATRE
Visit our Theatre often and enjoy some good clean,
wholesome pleasure . . ...
If
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The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 1, Ed. 1 Wednesday, October 3, 1923, newspaper, October 3, 1923; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth139883/m1/3/: accessed March 29, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Tarleton State University.