The Matagorda Gazette. (Matagorda, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 38, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 23, 1859 Page: 1 of 4
four pages : ill. ; page 23 x 17 in. Digitized from 35 mm. microfilm.View a full description of this newspaper.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
■a «na
9!
SHE MATAGORDA GAZETTE.
C1L1N HODGES,
WAlfi 2TX>'£&2£r & 3sTJr2 ^J>Sf#2A£222SrcE.iw]
TKOrRiETOR
MATAGORDA, TEXAS, SATURDAY, APRIL 23,1859.
NUMBER 38.
%
ItiSIIIP.
rr>
*5TTB,
!I® ***** SATURDAY BT1 ^*rc,re few married
HO©®3 . * SI "«old. relate
er smack at the gate, too. After that, we four cordial kisses on one of the most deli-
took a kind of tnrtle-doving after each oth- cions of mouths, he asked, " Don't you know
« 00;
- s
tor individual
ng incident connected
ing experience, and there are few unmar-
U oo ried folks of either sex who do not. take
S w naturally to just that style of narrative.
• jftn* Ever7body expects to be married at one
Ji o thne or another, and consequently every-
body is anxioua* to know bow everybody
else has crossed the matrimonial Rubicon
—managed the ticklish business. " J. W.
M." explains to ua how be came to be mar-
ried :
who cotiln uiuuinBf xic i/on
S . COOiU er, both of us sighing like a barrel of new your brother, you little ro?ue V
wit^®^^üf"!cider whcn wc wcre awa>* from cach othcr ! T,-c "little" rogue" looked blank
LOVE IN" A riilXTING OFFICE.
ik my countenance,
daubing my eyes.
m<>st
With
wonderfully be-
a light step and
I onee heard and old Jour remark that a a merry peal o f laughter, «lie skipped
, e , , • „ through tlie door-wav shouting:
w¡íh printing office was no place for love-making. j ^ Chariey, 'what kind of s roller
to (Mr lejriti-
wifl bscfcarged
tUSSSStSA
be Mcompa-
I 010 \payncnt^re-
«Mea h
roa
at
span-
known Doc-
practlee Is
,of moat digni-
Rflfl
invalid,
at the feet of
repared to
First
tried the
and, with eair lowered
i his breathing,
is serious !*
lat medicine
that little crea-
plaint is more a
I fear. Will
; if she has another
I No pet
which
i feéd the par-
i and finit
dog, of
Ljoura,
itfyitog
look
that
ted.
IBg
Ii.c mue rogue77 looked blank with ¡ gav Charlev, wh:
Twas at the close of a glorious summer amazement, and tlion, muttering something and 1 bavc sincc experienced the truth of docs mT*hanJ make?-
f^—the sun was fast setting behind a dis- very sweet, but not intelligible, slipped out tlie expression ; being now perfectly con-. « Oh,*" said I, "you ta
nt hag pen—the chickens were going to'of his half-enclosing arms,°and retreated in winced that the flower of love can never " Ha ! ha !~ she laugh
tant
roost bull-frogs were commencing (the direction she had
their eveniii]
native puddles
come.
bloom in the midst of types, cases, and
ngs—the polly-wogs in the ¡ Alfred now saw that he must have made1 printing ink.
sre preparing themselves a mistake ; and, as
listening to the music of nature, such as
tree-toads, roosters and granting pigs, and
.... , _ , ! now and then the mellow music of a distant
U ma, be fanny, but r« done H ; l' e, ,|,ephcr(U, bora wss waited to our ears by
got a nb and a baby. Shadows departed
—oyster stews,, brandy cock-talla,
boxes, boot-jacks, absconding shirt but-
tons, whist and dominoes. Shadows pres-
no one appeared, he! 11 was mJ fortune once to sojourn for a
for the shade, of the ni^t-and Polly and went to tl.e senior proprieto/, to «plain few dayain the village of R—. Dtaet w¡t|,oul ^ s|i ||l„t difficD„ .
myself sat upon an antiquated black log, the awkward position in which he had been ]J opposite the office was a pretty white -™if «tHi« ;« i .
placed*, having no desire to be compelled to cottaS®' with rosebush clambering round ^
'I'l.A . 1.. .. . I il n r~ mm mm* . A 1. — ■■
be shot at, or be shot, by some genuine.t,ie casement, and I was not long in rnak-
ent—hoop skirts, bandboxes, Gibbons, gai-
ters, long stockings, juvenile dresses, tin
trumpets, little willow chairs, cradles, bibs,
pap, sugar teats, paregoric, hive syrup,
rhubarb, castor-oil, Godfrey's cordial, sooth*
ing syrup, senna, salts, squills and doctors'
bills. Shadows futore—more nine poand
babies, more hive syrup, &c., Ac., I'll just
tell you how I got caught.
" 1 was always the darndest, most tea-
custard, bashful fellow you ever did see ;
it was kinder in my line to be taken with
every time I saw a pretty gal
me, and I'd cross the street
any tine rather than face one; 'twasn't be-
cause 1 did not like the critters, for was 1
behind the fence looking through a knot
hole I could not look at One long enough.
Well, my sister lib gave a party one night,
and I staid away from home, because I was
too bashful to face the music. I hung
round the bofase whistling "Old Dan Tuck*
dancing to keep my feet warm, watch-
% the heads bobbing up and down behind
the window curtains, and wishing the thun-
his pa- ¿eróg party would break up so I could get
to * my room. ,1 smoked up a bunch el ci-
ts getting lete and migb-
I concluded to climb up
No sogner said than done ;
myself abe<£ "Now," says
" let her sip—dance till your
out; and cuddling under the
quilts, Morpheus grabbed me. I was dream-
ing of soft shelled craps and stewed tripe
and was having a good time, when some-
body rapped at my door, and waked me up.
" Rap," again. I laid low. 44 Rap, rap,
rap." Then I beard a whispering, and 1
knew there was a whole raft of girls oat-
"Rap, rap, rap," then Lib sings
the door
side.
out:
v "Jack, are you in there V
"Yes," says I, and then came a roar of
laughter.
" Let us in," says she.
" I won't," says I, "can't you let a poor
fellow alone P
* Are yon in bed V* -
"I am,?
"Get up."
"I wont."
Then came another laugh. By thunder,
I began to get riled. " Get out you petti-
coated scare crows," I cried ; "can't you
get a bean without hauling a fellow out of
bed? I wont go home with you. I won't
go yon may dear ouf; and sending a
beet at the door, I felt better, but presently
eh, mortal buttons ! I heard a still small
teice, very much like sister Lib's, and it
the gentle zephyrs that sighed along the
cigar . mullen stalks, and came heavily laden with
delicious odor of hen roosts and pig sties.
The last glittering rays of the setting sun
glancing off the brass buttons of a hprse-
man, shone through a hole in the hog toen
full in Polly's face, and dyeing her Air
with an orange peel hue, and shopin
my thread-bare coat to a bad ad
one of my arms was around Polly's
my hand resting on the small of her
she was toying with my auburn locks
jet black hue—she was almost gone and I
was ditto—she looked like a grasshopper
dying with the hiccups. I felt like a mod-
turtle choked with a codfish ball Polly,
says I, in a voice musical as the dying
swan, "will you have me V She turned
her eyes heavenward, clasped me by the
hand, had gn attack of blind staggers, and
with a sigh that drew hei shoe strings to
her palate, said :
"Yes."
She gave clear out then and squatted in
my lap, she cork-screwed and I curfinmix
ed and rolled in. I hugged her till I broke
my suspendere. Well, to make a long sto-
ry short, she set the day and we practiced
every night for four weeks how we wool?
walk info the room to be married, till we
could walk as graeefal as a eou^e of mus-
oovie-ducks. The night, the company and
the minister came, the signal was given,
and arm in Inn we marched through the
crowded hall. We were jut entering the
parlor door, when down 1 went skerslap on
tbe oil cloth pulling Polly after me. Some
cursed fellow bad dropped a banana skin
on the floor and it floored me. It split an
orful bole in my cashmeres right under my
dress-coat tail. It was too late to back out
so clapping my hand o*er it we marched
in and were spliced. Taking a seat I
watched tbe kisssing the bride operation.
My groomsman was tight, and be kissed
ber till 1 jumped up to take a slice, when,
oh, horror! a little six-year old imp bad
crawled behind me, and pulling my^ shirt
through the holb in my pants, had.it pinned
to the chair, apd in jumping up I discovered
to the admiring gaze of the astonished mul-
titude a trifle more white muslin than was
pleasant. Women giggled, tbe men roared,
and I got mad, but finally got in a good
humor, and here all my troubles ended.
expulsion
or hear-
bis gloves,
b «he gold
[bowed
*<>
retire to
yon
the
are **r-
take too much ink.''
luughed, "well, good bye,
Charley, that's my impression."
I went to tlie glass and surveyed myself
for a moment, and I verily believe that I
could have passed for a Guinea nigger.
And so,"
printing
brother.
The Colonel, who was well acquainted
with Alfred, informed him that he had mis-
taken Piccolomini for his sister.
For the first time the brother learned
that tlfc diminutive-divinity was in the city,
and immediately wrote her an apology,
saying he could not regard what had oc-
The next morning, when the editor came
to the office, I rather calculate he found
ing the discovery that the aforesaid cottage
with the rose shaded window contained a ..... . _T
fair inmate—a flower whose beanty oat. 't".gs a Utle topaytnny Howerer, tbat
shone tbe roses that clustered aronnd ft,; ~ MS* to ««.fcr I tad «M
window. She was the belle of the village
Her name was Mary—sweet, poetic Mary
I have a passion for the name of Mary.
It was a beautiful summer morning, and
curred on his own account, but would, if 1 had raised Uie window to admit the breeze
HOW PICCOLOMINI WAS KISSED.
she desired it, on hers. He had no idea he
was pressing the Psyches® lips of the love-
liest and most fascinating songstress in
world, and that the mistake had only
;en place because she was as beautiful
sister. She had his most humble
for what had occurred, and if she
not be satisfied he would return her
had taken.
this note was translated to the be
Marie, and she was assured of its
she laughed immoderately, and
she had supposed that kissing a
(there she looked very archly)
r, was an American custom,
her at first, but now she
from the flower-decked fields, and it was
not long ere I perceived the cottage win-
dow was also hoisted, and that sweet little
Mary was sitting busily engaged with her, islature has been remarkable for the witty
needle. My eyes constantly wandered to-,«PeecheB of itomembe^ Mr. White,of tta
before day light I bore the mark of that
scene many a day, and now, whenever I
sec a lady entering a printing office, I think
of little Mary, and keep my eye on tbe iuk
keg.
A ROUGH COUNTRY.
The present session of the Missouri Leg-
did not
English Tt
—indeed, it vas
eet
said she, in ber attractive
kees did me no 'arm
so dees—vat you say
A CANDIDATE
LTRIMONY.
A lady advertising {or a%usband in the
Water Cure Journal gives théfollowing de-
scription of herself. She certainhi has some
fine "points:"
1 am just twenty, but will not
fore I am two yeare older. I am a
ate of the Marietta Seminary. I
and love to do all manner of bouse
from making pies and bread to
shirts ; I can do all kinds of sewing,>
embroidery to linsey pantaloons; I
skate, ride, sing, dance, play on the
or spinning wheel, or do anything that
reasonably be expected of my sex
quired, I can act the part of a dunce in
society of the "upper ten," or the part of
woman among women. As for riding,
allow me to make a banter; any man ma;
Jack, you'll have to get up, for all tlie
girls' things are in there.
M Oh what a pickle 1 - Think of me, *1!
oovered over with shawls, muffs, bonnets, j
doakí, and twenty girls outside waiting to
set in 1 If I hnd stopped to think, I should
have fainted on the spot; ss it was, I rolled
the bonnets and wire in n hnr-
tfas millinery in all di-
I had to dress in the dark—for
tfcsie was a craek In the door, and the girls
wiU neepr-and the way Ijemped about
P~Pr— The critical mo-
an
We read in the Cincinnati Enquirer :
During Piccolomini's late sojourn at the
Spencer House, in this city, the following j ance
incident occurred through a mistake as
nstural as it must have been agreeable.
A yonng gentleman residing in the north-
ern part of this State, received a letter last
week fmm his sister, who had been attend-
ing 8cltool in Kentucky, stating that she
wonld be, on a certain day, at the Spencer
House, where two friends of hers were go-
ing, and she would look for him to arrive
in good season, and aocoiflpany her home.
Tlie brother, Alfred, came at once, for he
had not seen his sister for nearly two years,
having passed much ofqfthat time in New
York ; and, on arriving at the hotel, asked
for Miss —w-, and the number of her room.
Hoping to surprise ber agreeably h e
thought he would go up unannoaneñi, hav-
ing learned the floor, and tbe position of
feet, and then if be overtakes me in a mile,
is ; if not, the horse is mine. Be-
ware !
I am a believer in hydropathy, and use
no tea or coffee, neither do I. wear corsets;
but I am willing that my husband shonld
do either, if he desires. I believe In " wo-
man's rights," but believe that I have no
right to meddle with polotics or man's bus-
iness in general—neither have the men a
right to meddle with ours. As for appear*
I am neither tall or short, large not
, small, but I am just as I was made. I have
i never attempted to alter my shape or color,
as I am perfectly satisfied with the seme.
By fops I am styled handsome ; by young
men on whom I please to smile, I am styled
the hcighth of perfection; by those I frown
by the
" I must have a kiss for that, my pretty
one," said I, and at it I went. I managed
to gel my arm- around her waist, and in
bring two boraes, gtre me choice and to f,tn,ggi¡ng to freo .he npsct . gal-
House, dlivercd himself as follows, in refer-
ence to the subject of forming a new ooun-
*7-
I predicate my objections to this new coun-
ty on different grounds, one of the main and
most important of which is that, 1 am con-
fident, it would not be entitled to a repre-
sentative in tlie next fifty years. Mr. Speak-
er, did you ever visit the territory sought
to be created into the oounty of Carter ?
Did you ever have an opportunity of behold-
ing its multifarious beauties and of exam-
ining its boundless resources V Well, sir,
I have. I have been all over it, and all
around it, and I do say here openly, and de-
fiantly, that there i¿ not enough level ground
within its entire limits to build a pig-pen
On. fLaughter.) The soil is so poor it
would not grow "penny-royal." Sir, you
might mow the oountry with a razor and
rake it with a fine comb and you wouldn't
get enough fodder to keep a sick grasshop-
per through the winter. (Renewed laugh-
ter.)
• Sir, tbey plant corn with a cron*bar, and
hold their sheep by the hind legs while they
nibble the grass in tlie cracks of the clifis.
(Increased laughter J Sir, the fer® nature)
of that section aré principally ticks, end I
must injustice say, that a variety of insects
attain a splendid size in this new county
of Carter, the smallest that ever fell under
my observation being at least as big as
saddle-bag locks. (Laughter.) As to in-
ternal improvements in that section, this
House can form some idea when I assure it
that the only thing resembling a road that
I ever saw there was when one of the bare-
footed natives dragged a wild boy seven
miles through the snow. (Laughter and
cheers.) With such a country as this, Mr.
Speaker, they propose to make a new coun-
ty, and tlie reason for so doing is, that the
convenience of the inhabitants will be pro-
moted thereby I Sir, if it wcre possible to
hold their courts under a shade of post-oak
and black-jack saplings, to keep a clerk's
office and the records of the county in tlie
recesses of a hollow sycamore, and to mako
a jail ont of nome of the dark and slimy
caves beneath tbe craggy hills of that rough
country; if it were possible to establish
martyr; Bhe never screamed once. But! the machinery for doing ccunty business
ward tbe cottage where little Mary sat,
and all sorts of fantastic notions whirled
through my brain, and I began to think I
felt a light touch of what the poet calls
love, sliding in at one oetner of my heart
A few days passed away, and chance
made me acquainted with Mary. Oh I she
was a sweet creature ' she had a form that
would have shamed tbe famous Venus de
Medici—a cheek that out-flushed the redest
peach, and a lip that would have tempted
a bee from its hive on a frosty morning. I
thought as I gazed on her in mute admira-
tion, that I had never looked on one so ex-
quisitely beautiful. Sbe seemed the embodi-
ment of everything lovely and bewitching.
Well, time passed on, and one day Mary
expressed a desire to visit the printing of-
fice. "Good," thought I, "what a chance I
Pll have a kiss there—yes, there, in the
very midst of the implements of mine srt
—why shouldn't IV Love in a printing
office 1 Oh 1 there was something original
in that, and I resolved to try it at all haz-
ards.
Well, Mary came to the office, and I ex-
plained to her the. use of various imple-
ments of the black art—the press, the roll
er, the ink, and the stands, and tlie boxes
of the A. B. C's. I took an opportunity to
snatch her pretty little white band : she
drew it back, knocking a stickful of matter
into "pie."
ley of editorial, a long article on the K an-
sas Question.
\ Nothing daunted, I made at her again.
This time I was more successful, for I ob-
tained a kiss. By Saint Paul, it was a
iweet one, and that little witch bore it like
as I raised my lips from hers, she lifted
her delicate little hand and gave me a box
on the ears that made mc sec more stars
than were ever viewed by Herschel, through
his big telescope. Somewhat nettled, and
my check smarting with pain, 1 again seiz-
ed her waist and said :
out of 6uch materials, we might entertain
the project as feasible. But, alas, even
such advantages as these are denied by na-
ture to this country. (Great laughter.)—.
It is true, there would be nj difficulty
about tbe caverns for a jail, but the neces-
sary post-oak and black-jack saplings, to
supply with their foliage a canopy for tho
j August tribunals of
upon, "the devil s imp :" by the wise and , .. .
V ' „ , Í, ... . struck the lie pot, and over it went. An-
sober. I am calkd wild and foolish : but bv i u «■ ... • « . ,, ,
.. u„,K. ' j v" "lher «allo-v of f"ll,r'r,al sprinkled
w ii -r . , •* . . , - . . I w. justice, could not be
Well, if you don t like it, just take back j found. They are not in tbe county. And
the kiss." | a8 for a sycamore tree suitable for a depos-
She made a desperate struggle, and as itory of tlie archives of the oounty, it would
' be-songht in vain. The winds even refuse
to blow sycamore in that direction.
(Cheers and laughter). And the idea of
over the people ever being able to build /tostes,
she jerked herself from my
>© '
arms
her foot
and she fell, and in darkJ.v. prodigiously and preposterous
my female acqnaintenoes Moll}, and by ^ a,J(j jn jjer cffort3 to reach the in which to transact business, is
my nnele I am called "Tom. I door, her foot slipped
f I may. « ml\ be a man who nses no ^ tQ 6„stam
spirits, tobacco or profanity. He may be miv.w|l¡tc
yonng or old, handsome or homely, rich or hjuj came
poor, "but not in the extreme. He must be
herj
absurd.
deeply,
erously
hand—the same little hand thai
.n contact with my ears—oh !
,, , i horrible !—was stuck up to the elbow in
industrious; be must be capable of so bear-|ink! Shades of Franklin ! ^he slowly
drew it from the keg, dripping with ink,
' and asked what use I made of that tar.
PeePect- llegan to be seriously alarmed, and
ÜgF* An ingenious down-eastrer has con-
structed s miniature factory village with
engines, wheels, windmills, carriages, wa-
terfalls, persons wslking, playing, swim-
ing himself in any society that he will be J it frnm thf> w _Hr¡n, ;r.« ~w¿ 7.á"' ming etc., and the whole so delicately ar-
Inved bv all • his disDo'sition in after so 7 ° , Pl g W,th ranged and so nicely adjusted, as to be put
. ' | ar,d asked what use I made of that tar. I into complete operation by s single mouse,
, quamtance, must p ease in every respec . ^gan ^ ^ seriously alarmed, and apolo- who travels in a «mall circular cage, as
the apartasent. Just before he reached-the af*°r marr'aSe. mnRÍ a ow fellow; ¡n t}l€ mannc.r \ CljUidf and tomv «qoirrels are often ween doing.
room, he saw bis sister, as he supposed, ^dictates of my-own ..onscienco, pmvi , 8urpri^ she seemed mure pleased than an- Western editors often indulge in po-
ooming out. Sbe wss small and plump, P f 4 -fa 1 gjj . but there was a lurking devil in ber ctical htrains in speaking tA their section of
na when he saw her lest, and he thought raust «"tow suit. : eye that told me there was mischief afloat. r>f country. We hope, therefore, no objec-
ts would conceal himself behind tbe. wall t FashT!OBI e Chit Chat —The boarders in ^ 1 8tood bUrve-vin£ the black covering of t!oos raised to Care'u indulging in
the nail until she came opposite. He
He raptnrous-
and one
was, put
right
. in. , , the same line of sentiment.
of the fashionable houses in Boston ner naaa, scarce.y able to suppress a laugh ].-sayg .
¿id so, and in another moment a pair of lit- trpre assembled in the public parlor one at the strange metamorphosis, she quickly " Onward ! onward ! That is the wstch*
tie feet were falling in pedal music npon stormy evening, when a rather antiquated raised it on high and brought it down k«- word. Bid the wanderer come, and the
tjio floor. She was within a few feet of maiden lady, who never to have any sjap upon my cheek. Before I <yuld recov- houseless draw hither. Here is room for
| m It was she, of course, be thought, al- ¿jweliy a^ru. Pr fTJB g,v sorpnse the same little hand -v"u a" Acres, valiey and hill, forest and
. — . . . , dresses, lisped out the remark that she I >v- . v . . nlnin wait for vou Ye who <U>lr« in &
though tbe gabenng shadows of the eve- ^ a day. and always availed hers-df again descended, ar.<_ left its inky im- },arr(.'n afHj ¿,j| iritbout a reward coom
sing rendered objects somewhat indistinct of it t^ arrange her drawers. " .So do I,r print on my other cbe< k jJtrr wi1PTé the sod has n*ver known the
dark tresses, snd growled an old sea captain, "I overhaul my " Why, Mary,*' I exclaimed, what a! * you p! .iiirh, and the rich earth yields abundant-
drawers and shirts too' sometíales, and pew abont V * ¡y J
on a button or a strinz w'nere it is wanted.**, * T ,'l: i .-^.1 m j • ¡.
.. , . ,, .e, . • . I think vou tola me you roiled ink on
, . j, v. , Mademoiselle did not taint, bnt tliere was , , " , _ _ , ,. ,
so be extended his arms, and anírry of snks as ^ awrf t oot tbe face of the fortn, sbe replied x,th a
me home?" clasping the diminutive figure before him, of tbe room, leaving all to exchnnge a sup- laugh, and again Ik r hand lit up n
turb yon. but won't you moth- and bending down and imprinting three or pressed titter for a g. . d beartv laugh. me -taking me a broad slap in the middle
Yes I will." and I did do n,
^ ^ -
Jri that gW J""™ CO" humming as air-alway.
> made him confident.
his sister's habit
He would hesitate
Don't go anywhere else. It's n<> use.
Come wriere land is cheap and water pure;
and the fri'-t that y^'i had sense enough to
com*- to Texas, will make your children
ppv:d r'f you when you ar dead and g^ne v
Vr.vk t \-¿ j*
-XS*
r~ - ■■
n&ábJÜ
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Lipsey, E. J. The Matagorda Gazette. (Matagorda, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 38, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 23, 1859, newspaper, April 23, 1859; Matagorda, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth179118/m1/1/: accessed April 19, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting The Dolph Briscoe Center for American History.