The Central Texian. (Anderson, Tex.), Vol. 3, No. 4, Ed. 1 Friday, June 20, 1856 Page: 1 of 4
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CEN
"Wl.
TEXIAN.
BY T. D. & K, A. VAN HORN.
-
VOL. 3
(S
jKSSPSraSKT OK áLL USIBiSGTS—HBBWUL ON HONS."
TERMS~$3 00 IN ADVANCE.
ANDERSON, GRIMES COUNTY, TEXAS, JUNE 20, 1856.
NO. 4.
The Kiss.
Starf were beaming. Lana gleairing, I was dream-
Dreams as sweet ling,
As the olden summers golden that have rolled on
Still, yet fleet.
Then from the Aidencame a maiden^beauty-laden
Girl was she) ;
Glorious creature! each fafrit
Unto me.
feature was a teacher
' Close beside me''—who dare chide roe ? ['• Here,
Blushes—Grace! [love,hide thee."
It confesses how her tresses, with caresses,
Touched my .fice.
There's no praising the amazing bright eyes gazing
> Intojnine, «t
all
g&i « * " l$ps w^ose ifieetüess, whose repleteness of a!
* Were divine. {sweetness,
But she wait^y^^jt^ted, Í, elated, v v , ^
Smiling, told her no orte older would behold her,
If she did.
Nearer, nearer, clearer, warmer, dearer,
Came her breath!
Then forgetting, all regretting, angels letting
Her—oh! death!
Still she waited, hesitated, said she hated
To: I chid i
She grew willing—O! 'twas thrilling! Dream
For she did. [fulfilling!
Only a Story.
translated from the german of hans
curistien anderson, for the
albany atlas.
In the garden all the apple trees were in
full bloom; they had made haste to put
forth blossoms even sooner than leaves ; the
little ducks were quacking in the court
yard, and the cat was sporting in the sun-
shine and was licking it from her own paw ;
and if one cast his eye over the fields, the
grain was standing there so incomparably
green, and all the little birds were chiriping
'and twittering, just as if it were a great
festival! And indeed one might say it
was; for it was the Sabbath. The bells
were ringing and the people were going, in
their best apparel, to church, and they all
looked so happy. Every thing and every
one indeed was full of joy—for it was such
a warm ahd beautiful day that one might
well exclaim, " God is so infinitely good to
us men!"
But in the church the preacher stood up
in the pulpit and spoke so loud and so harsh !
He said that men were godless, and that
God would punish them for it; and that
when they died the wicked would go to
hell, where they would burn forever; and
he said that their worm would never die
and their fire never be quenced, and.that
they never .would, have peace or rest. It
was feartul to hear hTm, and he said it, too,
with such positiveness. lie told them that
bell was a pest-hole where the filth of the
whole world was collected; where there
was no cooling air in the ever burning
sulphur flame; that it was bottomless, and
and that there they would sink and sink
into eternal silence. It was horrible only
to hear the description of it, but the preacher
spoke from a full heart, and all the people
were terribly frightened.
In the evening, at bed time, the preacher
saw his wife sitting silent and sunk in
thought.
44 What is the matter with thee ?" inquired
he.
44 The matter," said she, " the matter is,
that I am not able to bring my thoughts
together. I cannot altogether comprehend
what you said, that there were many godless
pesons and they must burn foever! O,
how long! I am but a poor sinful woman ;
but I could never bring it into my heart to
let even the vilest sinner burn forever ; and
how then could God do it who is infinitely
good and who knows how evil comes from
without and within i No, I cannot conceive
it, although you insist upon it."
It was Autumn. The leaves were falling
from the trees. The earnest, severe preacher
was sitting by the bed-side of a dying per-
son—a pious believer was closing her eyes.
It was the preacher's wife.
44 If any one can find rest in the grave,
and mercy with her God, thou art that one,"
said the preacher, and he folded her hands
and uttered a prayer over the dead.
It was night, a cold wind swept over the
preacher's head—he opened his eyes and it
seemed to him as if the moon was shining
into his room, but the moon shone not—it
was a human form standing before his bed
— he saw the spirit of his deceased wife,
and she looked at him with such an expres-
sion of sadness as if she wished to say
something to him.
And be lifted himself up in his bed and
streched forth his arms towards her. 44 And
is the eternal rest denied thee also ? Must
thou suffer ! Thou, the best, the faithful-
est!"
And the dead bowed her head assenting-
ly and laid her hand upon her breast.
44 And can I procure rest in the grave for
thee."
44 Yes," was the response.
44 And how."
44 Give me a hair, only a single hair from
the head of the sinner whose fire will never
be quenched, of the sinner whom God will
condemn to eternal pains of hell."
44 And thou can'st then so easily be re-
lieved, thou pure, thou faithful one!" re-
plied lie.
44 Then follow me," said the dead. 44 Thou
mayest hover by my side whithersoever thy
thoughts direct thee; for so much is grauted
to us. Invisible to men we may visit them
in their most secret recesses, but thou must
point out with a sure hand the man who is
devoted to eternal torments and he must be
found before the crowing of the cock."
And quickly as borne on a thought they
reached the Great City and from the walls
of the house blazed in flaming characters
the names of the deadly sins; pride, avarice,
drunkenness, sesuality, in short the whole
seven colored bow of sins.
44 Yes, there, as I believed, as I knew,"
said the preacher,44 there dwell those who
are condemned to eternal flames." And
they stood before a brilliantly illuminated
door-way, and the broad stairs were splendid
with carpets and flowers, "and through the
festive halls resounded the music of a ball.
The porter stood there clad in velvet and
silk, with a great silver mounted cane.'—
44 Our ball is almost as good as jthe King's,
said he, and turned towards the throng that
filled the streets.- From head to toe the
thought shone- forth from him. "Poor
rabble; who are staring in at the doors, in
me^ye.are all mere $ass of
44 Pride," said the dead," seest thou him? "
44 Him," replied the preacher. 44 Yes, but
he is a fool, nothing but a fool, and will not
be damned to eternal fire and torments."—
44 Nothing but a fool!" echoed through the
whole house of Prioe, for that was what
they all were.
44 And they flew to the four bare walls of
the miser, where, lean and shivering with
cold, an old man denied himself food and
drink, and clung with all his thoughts to
his money. They saw how he sprang, like
one burning with fever, from his miserable
pallet of straw, and drew a stone from the
wall, where lay his gold coins in a stocking,
and how he fumbled his tattered vest in
yhich gold pieces were sewed up, and how
his damp fingers trembled."
44He is sick; that is insanity, a joyless
insaftty, filled with agnuish and evil
dreams." And they departed hastily and
stood before the cells of a prison, where the
criminals were sleeping in long rows side by
side. Like a wild beast, sprung one of
them from his sleep, uttering a horrible
cry. He thrust his sharp elbows into the
sides of the sleeper who lay next him, and
the latter turned himself sleepily towards
him, and said :
, 44 Hold thy jaw, thou beast, and sleep.
It is night."
44 Every night," replied the other. " Yes,
every night he comes and howls and tor-
ments me. In the heat of the moment I
done heedless things; I was born with an
evil disposition, which has brought me here
for a second time. But, as I have offended
I have been punished. One thing only
I have not confessed. As I was leaving
here after ray first imprisonment, and passing
the residence of my master, one thought
after another boiléd up witjiin me. I drew
a match against the wall, it came somewhat,
loo near the thatched roof, everything was
burnt; everything was in flames, as I am,
I, myself, helped to save the occupants and
the cattle. Nothing that had life was burnt
except a flock of pigeons aud the house
dog. I had not tuouglit of them. One
could hear him howl, and this howling I
hear when I wish to sleep; and if I fall
asleep, then comes the dog again, so large
and shaggy ! he lays himself upon my breast,
howls, presses upon me, stifles me. Listen
to what I am telling yon—but thou canst
snore ; snore the whole #uight, and I sleep
not a quarter of an hour." And the blood
rushed into the eyes of the frenzied man,
and he threw himself upon his companion
and struck him in the face with his clenched
fist.
"That silly fellow has another of his
crazy fits," was the cry of those around ;
and the other prisoners seized him, struggled
with him and bent him double, till they got
his head between his knees; then they
bound him fast while the blood was starting
from his eyes and from every pore.
"You are killing the unhappy man,'
cried the preacher, and as he stretched out
his hand as if to defend the sinner, the
poor sinner, who, even here, was obliged to
make such bitter atonement for his offenses,
the scene was changed. They flew through
the halls of the rich and the hovels of the
poor. Sensuality, Envy, all the deadly sins
passed in turn before them, while a guiding
angel read to them the offenses of the sin-
ners and the excuses for them. This was
feeble indeed before God, but God knows
the heart; he knows all the evil which
comes from within and without—He who is
Mercy and Love. The hand of the preacher
trembled, he ventured not to stretch it forth
to pluck a hair from the head of the sinner,
and tears streamed from his eyes like the
waters of mercy and love which quench the
fires of bell. Then the cock crowed.
44 Merciful God ! Thou wilt grant her
that rest in the grave, which I have not
been able to procure for her.
441 enjoy it already'" said the Dead, 44 it
was thy harsh judgment, thy giomy inhuman
ideas of God and his creatures which drove
me to thee. Learn the nature of men.—
Even in the wicked, there is a portion of
God, a portion which will triumph over and
extinguish the fires of bell."
And a kiss was imprinted on the lips of
the preacher, and it becamo light around
him. God's clear sun was shining in his
chamber, where his wife, still living, gentle
and full of love, had awakened him from a
dream which had been sent of God.
All Nations.—The cosmopolitan or com-
posite character of our city population was
well illustrated iu West street yestarday
moruidg. A veritable Turk was selling
fancy soaps at the corner of Barclay street;
on the corner opposite was a Chinaman
selliug cigars ; a Dutch grocery was with-
in hailing distance, and simultaneously
emerging from the door were an African
and a Dutchman. An effort was made to
look up an American in the neighboihood,
but when our reporter was last heard from
lie had not arrived.—X. Y. depress-.
A Daring Deed of Horsemanship.
a mexican sketch.
If you feel disposed to risk a doublocta—
I am but a poor hunter and cannot place
more—I shall attempt what a muchachito of
ten years would consider a feat perh;
" And what may that be, Senor Cibol
asked the officer sneeringly. " I will check
my horse at full gallop on the brow of ponder
cliff!" "Within two lengths frot%¿be
brow 1" " Within two lengths—lessr-the
same distance that is traced hsiiu otf the
banks of the Zequai!" The surprise cr®t«d
by this announcement held, the bystanders
for some jnometrts iu silence. It wás a
proposal of such wild and reck les daring
iliaeit was difficult to betíeve'niat
of it was in earnest. £ veil the two officers
were for a momeut staggered by it, and in
clined to fancy the cibOlero was not serious,
but mocking them.
The cliff to which Carlos had pointed
was part of the bluff that hemmed in the
valley. It was a sort of promontory, how-
ever, that jutted out from the general line,
so as to be a conspicuous object from . the
plain below. Its brow was of equal height
with the rest of the precipice, of which it
was a part—a sort of buttress—and the
grassy turf that appeared along its edge
was but the continuation of the upper
plateau. Its front to the valley was vertical,
without terrace or ledge, although horizont-
al seams traversing its face showed a
stratification of lime and sandstone alter-
nating with each other. From the s vard
upon the valley to the brow above the
heights was 1,000 feet short. To gaze up
to it was atrial to delicate nerves ; to look
down put the stoutest to the proof. * * *
All stood watching him with anxious eyes.
Fvery movement was noted. lie first
alighted from the saddle, stripped off his
mauga, had it carried back and placed out
of the way. He next looked to his spurs,
to see that t!ie straps were properly buckled.
After this he retied his sash, and placed
the sombrero firmly on his head. He but-
toned his velveteen calzoneras down nearly
to his ankles, so that their leather bu! tons
might not flap open and discommode liirfy
His hunting-knife aloug with his whip he
ga e to the charge of Don Juan. His
attention was next turned to the horse, that
stood all this lime with his neck curved
proudly as though he divined that lie was
to be called upon for some signal service
The bridle was fi. st scrutinized. The great
bit—a Mameluke—was carefully examined,
least there might be some flaw or crack iu
the steel. The head strap was buckled to
its proper tightness, and then th^reu^-vvei
minutely scanned. These were the Tía?
of a wild horse's tail, closely and neatly
platted. The saddle now had its turn.—
Passing from side to side, Carlos tied both
stirrup-leathers, and examined the great
wooden blocks which formed the stirrups.
The g:rth was the last as well as the most
important object of his solicitude. He
loosened the buckles on both sides, and
then tightened them, using his knees to ef-
fect his purpose. When drawn to his liking,
the tip of his finger could not have been
passed under the strong leather band.
No wonder he observed all this caution.
The snapping of a strap, or the slipping of
a buckle, might have hurried him into
eternity. Having satisfied himself that all
was right, he gathered up the reins aud
leaped lively into the saddle. He first
directed his horse on a walk along the cliff,
and within a few feet of its edge. This
was to strengthen both himself aud the
animal. Presently the walk became a trot,
and then a gentle canter. Even this was
an exhibition fearful to behold. To those
regarding it from below, it was a beautiful
but terrible spectacle. After a while he
headed back towards the plaiu, and then
stretching into a fair gallop—the gait in
which he intended to approach the cliff—
he suddenly reined up again, so as to throw
his horse nearly on his flanks.
Again he resumed the samo gallop, and
again reined up ; and this manccuvre he re-
peated at least a dozen timis, now with his
horse's head turned towards the cliffs, and
now in the direction of the plain. At last
he was seen to turn his horse towards the
cliff, and take liis firmest seat iu the saddle.
The determined glance of his eye showed
that the moment had come for the final trial,
A slight touch of the 6pur set the noble
brute in motion, aud in another second he
was iu full gallop, and heading directly for
the cliff! The suspense was of short-dura-
tion. Twenty strides brought horse and
horseman close to the verge, within half a
dozen lengths. The reins still hung loose
—Carlos dared not tighten them—a touch
he knew would bring his horse to a halt,
aud that before he had crossed the liue
would only be a failure. Another leap—
another—yet another ! Ho ! he is inside.
Great God ! he will be over! J ust as the
horse appeared about to spring over the
horrid brink, the reins were observed sudden-
ly to tighten, the fore hoofs became fixed aud
spread, and the hips of the noble animal
rested upon the plain. He was poised at
scarce three feet from the edge of the cliff!
While iu this attitude the horseman raised
his right hand, lifted his sombrero, and after
waving it round, returned it to his head. A
splendid picture from below. The dark
forms of both horse and rider were perceived
as they drew up ou the cliff, and the impos-
ing and graceful attitude was fully developed
against the blue hack ground of the sky-
The arms, the limbs, the oval outlines of
the steed, even the very trappings could be
seen distinctly ; and for the short period in
which they were poised and motionless, the
spectator might have fancied an equestrian
statue of bronze, its pedestal the pinnacle
of the cliff.
The Prairies on Fire.
The following is an extract from an inter-
esting letter of the editor of the St. Louis
Advocate, written while on a 44 journey of
pleasure."
44 Did you ever see a prairie on fire ? Per-
haps yon have, but many of your readers
never did. It is a grand, a sublime, and to
us it was, on Saturday last, a terrific sight.
We were in the midst of a large prairie
covered with grass, full six feet high, as
thick upon the ground as it could well stand
and much of it as dry as tinder. For sev-
eral miles we had noticed in our front and
on our left, thick columns of dark smoke
curling in the distance, and on reaching
,the top of a hill we suddenly belw.'d the
fire some miles ahead, roaring and-crashing,
shooting np its flames at least twenty feet
high, and darting, leaping, and plunging
forward, like ten thousand furies bent on
the destruction of everything before them !
The wind blew a perfect gale, and on the
fire came. The roar was more like that of
44 Ocean into tempest wrought."
than anything else I ever heard. One or
two of our company had witnessed such
scenes before. To me it was new, and one
of the most sublime I have ever beheld. On
our right and left the flames extended for
miles upon miles, sweeping over the wide
prairie 44 as with the bosom of destruction,"
nor leaving a stick or straw «behind. Our
condition would have been anything else
than safe but for the fact than one of the
company was a smoker, and, being a smo-
ker, he happened to have a supply of match-
es, which now, in place of lighting his pipe
were found very convenient to light the
grass of the prairie, ahd thus meet fire with
fire. So while the flames were still a mile
or so ahead, we drove to one side of the
road and fired the grass on the other side.
Away sprang the flames before the wind
like an uncaged eagle, and, the wind favor-
ing us, we easily prevented them crossing
the road until a space was burnt into which
we drove the horses and carriages, and in
safety stood to witness the terrible scene
the two fires produced. The smoke and
heat were severe, but we escaped unburnt.
Others may do as they choose, but I will
certainly never venture far into one of these
large prairies when the grass is dry without
having with me the means to fire in self-de-
fence. It is the only way by which, under
some circumstances, a man can save his life.
I have often heard and often read of fire
on the prairies, but certainly had no ade-
quate idea of it. No tongue or pen could
describe it as I then saw it While looking
on I was forciblv remiuded of an expression
LkriHtparté Is ssad to have used as a refer-
ence to the burning of Moscow: 44 It ap-
peared as a vast sea on fire ;" and thought
if Longinus had only witnessed that scene
lie might still have improved his excellent
work on sublimity. We have yet to pass
some fifty or sixty miles across prairie, most
of which was unburnt when we went down.
How it is now we cannot say, but I will
most certainly carry the matches."
Feminology.
A queer gatherer of statistics says, that
out of one hundred and fifty-eight pretty
women whom he met in the streets of a
fashionable resort in a given time, one huu
dred were sucking their parasol handles.
In an omnibus, four young ladies out of
every seven invariably lopk through the
front window at the horses.
At a party seven ladies out of ten prefer
vanilla ice-cream, while only one in ten
habitually eats orange-water-ice.
The stouter a lady is the more she rolls
her eyes up while waltizng.
The smaller a lady is, so much the more
does she affect sun-flower rosettes, enor-
mous flounces and extra-sized ornaments.
Diminutive ladies admire giant-like gen-
tlemen—and vice versa.
Ladies who are generally admired by
their own sex, are seldom viewed in the
same light by gentlemen.
Some ladies speak of 44 ladies' beauties"
and 14 gentlemen's beauties."
It is a curious fact that those women who
have made the most acquaintances during a
long course of years have by far the best
memory for faces and persons.
Although women are supposed to be the
talkative sex, it is not less true that in learn-
ing a foreign tongue, men acquire more
readily the facility in speaking it, while la-
dies understand it better and sooner when
spoken to.
Washington City in 1801;—One can
scarcely credit the description of Washing-
ton City, as Mrs. John Adams found it in
1801 :
" Here and there," she writes," is a small
cottage without a glass window, interspers-
ed among the fore«t, through which you
travel for miles without seeing a human
being. The house is upon a grand and
superb scale—requiring about thirty servants
to attend and keep the apartments in order.
I could content myself anywhere for three
months ; but, though surrounded by forests,
can you believe that wood cannot be had,
because people cannot be found to cut and
cart it ? The house is made habitable, but
there is not a single apartment finished.
We have not the least fence, yard or other
convenience without, aud the great unfinish-
ed audience room I make a drying room of
to hang up clothes in. It is a beautiful
spot, capable of every improvement, and the
more I view it, the more I nm delighted
with it."
" The great unfinished audience room,"
of whffeh Mrs. Adams speaks, is the famous
East Room of the White House.
The U. S. frigate Macedonian, has arriv-
ed at Signaporc.
How some People Marry and láve¿
A young man meets a pretty face in the
ball-room, falls in love with it, courts it,
marries it, goes to house keeping with it,
and boasts of having a home and a wife to
grace it. Her pretty face gets to be an old
story—or becomes faded, or freckled, or
fretted—and as the face was all he wanted,
all he paid attention to, all he sat up with,
all he bargained for, all he swore to love,
honor and protect, he gets sick of his trade,
knows a dozen faces which he likes better,
gives up staying at home evenings, consoles
himself with cigars, oysters, and politics,
and looks upon his home as a very indiffer-
ent boarding-bouse. A family of children
grow up about him ; but neither he nor his
11 face" knows anything about training them
so they come up helter-skelter; made toys
of when babies, dolls when boys and girls,
drudges when young men and women ; and
so passes year after year, and not one quiet,
happy, homely hour is known throughout
the whole household. Another young man
becomes enamored of a 44 fortune." He
waits upon it to parties, dances the polka
with it, exchanges billet-doux with it, pops
the question to it, gets 44 yes" from it, takes
it to the parson's, weds it, calls it 44 wife,"
carries it home sets up an establishment
with it, introduces it to his friends and says
(poor fellow) that he, too, is married and
has got a home. It's false. He is not
married; he has no home. And he soon
finds it out. He's in the wrong box; but it
is'toolate to get out of it. líe might as
well hope to escape from his coffin. His
friends congratulate him, and he has to grin
and bear it. They praise the house, the
furniture, and the new Bible, the new baby
—and then bid the 44 fortune," and he who
husbands it, good-raorning! As if he had
known a good-morning since he and that
gilded fortune were falsely declared to be
one ! Take another case. A young wo-
man is smitten with a pair of whiskers.—
Curled hair never before had such charms.
She sets her cap for them; they take. The
delighted whiskers make an offer proffering
themselves both iu exchange for one heart.
The dear Miss is overcome with magnanim-
ity, closes the bargain, carries home the
prize, shows it to pa and ma, calls herself
engaged to it, thinks there were never such
a pair of whiskers before, and in a few weeks
iliey are married. Married! Yes, the
world call it so, and we will. What is the
result? A short honey-moon, and then the
unlucky discovery that they aré as unlike as
chalk and cheese, and not to be made one
though all the priests in Christendom pro-
nounce them so.
A Tasty Romance.—Prof. Allen who was
hunted away from the centre of our State
for loving and seeking to marry a white
girl, who chose to love him, is lecturing on
slavery in England to great acceptance.—
Buffalo Express.
Here's a pretty paragraph for you ! How
indignantly sentimental!—Verily. 44 The
course of true love never did run smooth,"
and it don't yet. However—the Boston
Post undertakes to inform the writer, on
the authority of a good citizen of Fulton,
N. Y., that the 44 lovers" got together af-
ter all, and were married. The young lady
was sent by her parents to a school where
the doctrine was taught that a white man
is as good as a nigger, if he only behave
hesef," vice versa ; that color was 44 a mere
matter of taste" (and smell wo suppose.)
Now, as the girl happened to have no ob-
jection to either, she resolved to marry the
"Professor of amalgamation and other
modern sciences—when, strange to relate,
the parents were shocked at the practical
working of their own creed, aud drove their
44 colored brudder" out of the country. But
the young lady being 44 in love," (and om-
nia vincit amor !) she followed her gallattf,
gay Lothario to New York, and was mar-
ried to the "chosen of her heart." That's
the story, and a very pretty story it is, as
time¿ go. What is to come next we don't
know, but not, we venture to say, any great
amount of permanent felicity to the parties.
There is a boy about town who is so
cross-eyed, that if he looks at a bottle his
eyes act as regular cork-screws, aud draw
the cork instauter. He always imagins his
nose to be a bis building arouud the corner
Curious.—It is a remarkable fact that no
Jew ever falls upon the public for support.
To their honor be it said, that they take
care of all their creed wlieu under misfor-
tune.
A magazine report of the fashion says :
" There is a lady iu Boston who is habit-
ually so sleepy that her curiosity cannot be
awakened."
Jonah wroteto his father, after the whale
first swallowed l-.im, and stated that he had
found a good "opening" for a young man
going into the oil business—but afterwards
wrote for money to bring him home, stating
that he had beeu " sucked iu."
Hobbs, the locksmith, has pic&ed one of
Bauquo's gory locks; he did it with a pick-
axe. He is now at work on a wed-lock.
Guess that will be rather a teazer for him.
An officer in the household service of
George III, complained to his majesty one
day of the smallneste of compensation for
his services.
" What do you get V' asked the king.
" Nothing but my victuals and clothes."
" Well," replied the old fogy, " that is
all I set."
Serfage in Russia.—Hie independence
Beige of the 30th March, saya a project for
the abolition of slavery in Russia has been
much talked of for the last few days. A
St. Petersburg correspondent assures us
that the plan has been submitted to the ex-
amination of the Emperor Alexánder, and
that before he left the capital for Finland,
the Czar issued a ukase, by which, hereaf-
ter, the serfs will have the privilege of suing
their masters for their freedom, before the
tribunals of the realm. Former laws grant-
ed the serf this power, but it was almost al-
ways impossible for him to make a practi-
cal use of it. Henceforward, the nobles
can lio longer transfer their serfs to another
district, or incorporate them into the ar.n
without being authorized <o do so by the
decision of a competent tribunal.
A Daughter of South Carolina.—'Miss
Pfggy.kand, a young woman of Pickens
District, about twenty-four years of age,
after trying weaving, carding, spinning and
sowing, last year went to farming, and rai-
sed cotton which netted her $100. Her
corn crop was two hundred and fifty bush-
els, worth sixty cents per bushel, and she
made thirty-five bushels of wheat, worth
one dollar and fifty cents a bushel. She
accomplished this herself, without any as-
sistance or hiring. She plowed, drove the
cart, cut her wheat, cribbed her corn, &c.
A Cause of Emigration.—When Tom
Corwin was a member of the General As-
sembly of Ohio, he. brought in a bill for
the abolition of public punishment at the
whipping-post. Jle made a speech thereon,
to which an elderly gentleman replied some-
what as follows: Mr. speaker, the gentle •
man is not as old as I am, aud has never seen
so much of the practical operatiou of the
system of punishment which he desires to
abolish. When I lived in Conueticut, if a
fellow stole a horse, or cut up any other
rustics, we used to tie him up and give him
a real good thrashing, and he always cleared
right out, and we never saw no more of him.
It is the best way of getting rid of rogues
that ever was tried, and without expense
to the State."
Corwin rose to reply : " Mr. Speaker,
I have been often puzzled to account for
the vast emigration from Conneticut to the
West; but the gentleman last up l.as ex-
plained it to íry entire satisfaction." The
bill passed without further discussion.
A Good Retort.—A clergyman who was
in the habit of preaching in different parts
of the country, was not long since at an
inn, where he observed a horse-jockey try-
ing to take in a gentlertian by imposiug
opon him a broken winded hone for «
sound one. The parson knew the bad
character of the jockey, and taking the gen-
tleman aside, told him to be cautious of the
person he was dealing with. The gentle'
man declined to purchase, and the jockey,
quite nettled, observed:
" Parson, I had much rather hear yod
preach than to see you privately interfere
in bargains between man and man iu this
way."
" Well," replied the parson, " if you
were where you ought to have been last
Sunday, you might have heard me preach."
44 Where was that?" inquired the jockey.
" In the State Prison !" reported ihs cler-
gyman.
A Prose Ballad.—I saw her as she
sailed along in an elegant balloon, aud
borne on by many a puff of praise, all sung
to an a la mode tune. I saw her as she
trailed along, like a racer sharp and thin,
and many a voice in ecstacy proclaimed
that she would " win." I saw a coal
scuttle bonnet, with a front a foot or two,
and rapturous praise, in a thousand ways,
proclaimed that it wonld " to." I saw a
cup and saucer stuck on the back of her
head, and the very same crowd, with
praises loud, declared that fashion led.—
Harra for balloons and races, coal scut-
tles, cups, saucers,too. To thunder with
sense and reason, I'm bound to go orazy,
too.
A Dutchman thus describes the New
Yorkers : " Fine peoples ; dey go about
der sthtreets all day cheatiug each oiler,
and dey call dat pizziness."
A Certain Cure for a Rattle-Snake Bite
or a Spider Sting,—Take the yolk of a
good eg<r, put it in a tiu cup, and stir as
much salt as will make it thick enough not
to run off, and spread a plaster to the wound
and I would insure your life for sixpence.
The subscriber has tried the above remedy
in a number of cases, and never knew it to
fail in one. P. Prettyman, M. D.
Portland, Oregon. [Country Cfentleman.
There was a young fellow in York State
that asked a young lady out to ride ; the
young lady agreed ; lie drove around to
the house at the appointed time; a young
lady made her appearance dressed in the
prevailing fashion} having got herself and
hoops into the cutter, the young man Baw
there was no chance for him, whereupon he
mounted the horse's back and drove on in
triumph. Gallant young man !
The Best Place.—- A good old Dutch*
man and his frow sat up till gapping time,
when the latter, after a full stretch* said:
" I vish í vas iu hebeu."
Hans also yawned and replied :
" I vish I vas in der sthill-house."
The eyes of Sallie flew wide open, as she
exclaimed ;
" I pe pound for you; you always vish
yourselt in der pest blace."
An Irishman beiug in church where the
collection apparatus resembled election box-
es, on its being handed to him, whispered
iu the carrier's ear that be was not natu-
ralized, dlid could not vote !
Should you be talking to a thin lady of
another thin lady, you need n't describe the
party alluded to as a " scraggy old maid."
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Rennolds, WM. B. The Central Texian. (Anderson, Tex.), Vol. 3, No. 4, Ed. 1 Friday, June 20, 1856, newspaper, June 20, 1856; Anderson, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth181110/m1/1/?rotate=270: accessed April 19, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting The Dolph Briscoe Center for American History.