The Austin Statesman. (Austin, Tex.), Ed. 1 Thursday, December 11, 1890 Page: 5 of 8

ALL IS LOVELY.
THE COUNCIL REPENTS OP
ITS ACTION AND ALL
IS FOEGIVEN.
ME. COEEIGAN 13 HAPPY.
Appropriations Panned to Buy Bight ol
Way and to Construct the Railroad
Which Will be Owned by
the City.
The council met in call session last
night with Mayor McDonald and the
the following aldermen present:
Aldermen Anderson Carleton Mor-
ris Jackson Schuber Flatt Schneider
Nitschke Ziller Linn Graham Jones
North Townsend Assraan Wingfield.
Alderman Phillips moved that the
council proceed to install the newly
elected officers.
Carried and the aldermen elected
at the last election except Mr. New-
ton who was absent were duly in-
stalled. Alderman Ziller moved that the
council proceed toj elect a mayor pro
tern and Mr. Linn was unanimously
elected.
Alderman North then called up the
ordinance pending at the last meeting
appropriating $10000 to pay for right
of way on Fifth street and it passed
to second reading.
Alderman Linn suggested that he-
fore proceeding further with the or-
dinance that certain communications
from the board of public works be
read that the council may act intel-
ligently. Carried and the following resolution
was re d :
Whereas all negotiations between
the city and Mr. George VV. Bracken-
ridge looking to the building of a rail-
road from the city depots to the dam
site have terminated by the surrender
of his franchise by Mr. Brackenridge ;
and
Whereas a railroad is an immediate
necessity to the construction of the
dam
Therefore be it resolved That the
city council be requested to immedi
ately pass the ordinance now pending
appropriating $10000 from the general
revenue for opening Fifth street to the
city limits: and
Beit further resolved That the city
council be requested to appropriate
the sum of $G0000 or so much thereof
as may be necessary from the water
and light fund to enable the board of
public workB to procure the right
of way beyoud the city
limits and to construct a railroad to
the dam site sufficient in strength and
capacity to carry needed material for
constructing the dam.
Mr. Brsckenridge's letter published
in The Statesman yersterday morn
ing was also read.
A committee from the board of pub
lie works headed by Mr. Frank Hamil
ton was present and at the request
of the council Mr. Hamilton in clear
forcible earnest language explained
the contract with Mr. Corrigan and
the agreement with Col. George
Brackenridge relative to the railioad.
His explanation was convincing
and more than satisfactory to the
council.
lw During his remarks Mr. Hamilton
iikillfully and with much vigor hit the
newspapers a whack which caused the
Faber pushers at the reporter's table
to turn pale and the hair on the top of
Maj. Lane's head to stand straight up.
The council has been forgiven and
Mr. Hamilton will be forgiven for the
newspaper men know if he said any.
thing he should be sorry for he is glad
of it and won't say-it again.
Aldermen North made a brief and
neat speech which shed much light
upon the question.
For the especial benefit of Alder-
man Ziller who would not accept the
explanation of Mr. Hamilton and Mr.
Wooldridge who also endeavored to
throw some light upon the mat-
ter Mr. Corrigan was called on
and said that he understoed that he
was to pay all freight charges upon
material conveyed to the dam and he
proposed to do it. The city had no
contract with him requiring the city
to pay freight charges. The contract
only demanded that the city furnish
l Via iailrnflr1.
The ordinance then passed.
yeas Aldermen Assmann Carle-
ton Graham Linn Glass North
Townsend Jackson Nitschke Morris
Schuber Newton Phillips Piatt
Sutor Wingfield 18
Nay Schneider 1.
The council then adjourned but
i i ii . .i i i.
was immediately uaneu wgcwier
to act on the ordinance appropriating
$ G0.000 to build the road under the
control and direction of the board of
. public works and it passed unani-
mously Mr. Piatt being absent when
the vote was taken he having left the
hall during adjournment.
Mr. Corrigan'a first estimate which
was published yesterday morning was
then ordered paid and the council
adjourned.
Ms. Corrigan who is one of the best
natured men possible and all over
business expressed himself as pleased
with the settlement of the matter.
He says he is getting along with the
work aa well as possible without the
railroad which he hopes will be hur-
ried through with all dispatch.
The Advertising Work .
Jo the Statesman.
Should Austin spend much money
in advertising? Every citizen should
ponder well this query for the can
viasing committees will now knock at
your door and want an answer. Bestir
your thinking faculties honest citi
zens and be ready whan called on
either to give a specious excuse or
back your convictions with something
C substantial. The advertising can
vassers are worse than census num
erators aud thev tell me they are
keeping a black list of those who re-
fuse to subscribe when solicted to be
published in the column adjoining the
subscribers' list. There are hundred
of well to do citizens who have neve
contributed a picayune pro bono
publico. Indeed there are eo many
such that our city has not kept pace
with her Texas sisters though she
possesses natural advantages and
possibilities far beyond the others
She can easily look down upon all her
rivals from an educational and social
standpoint. With her varied scenery
balmy winter breezes and unexcelled
natural drainage the health seeker
cannot fail to yield her
the palm over the only real competitor
San Antonio. Hi r central location
both with reference to inland Texas
and the several shipping points scat
tered alone the gulf coast justly en
titles her to the claim of occupying
better situation for a rail
way center than either Dallas
Fort Worth or Houston. Her
proximity to the minerals of
Llano the vast cotton fields of the
middle counti. s and the wool markets
of San Augelo and San Antonio taken
in connection with the immense
water power being developed should
rank her not only with Dallas and
New Birmingham but with Lowell as
a mauufauturini;' point. But does the-
world know these things? No! and
the reason is tht re are so many slow
coaches so many mossbacks t-o many
narrow minded business men so many
dry bones that need rattling so many
Kood citizens who cling to backwoods
ideas and to the f flute business meth
ods in vogue long before the war. If
we don't keep up with the
times what good will natural
advantages and great possibilities
do us? Every other important city in
iexas is spending more than we are
in advertising and every other impor
tant city has grown faster than Aus-
tin. The address of the advertising
committee has the true ring in it and
if we mistake not this move marks an
epoch in our progress. Help the com
mittee herald to the world what Aus-
tin is and is to become. Send word to
the capitalist the splendid oppor
tunities for investment Austin of
fers lell the blizzard stricken
fanners of our mild winters and rich
black soil. Inform the eastern man
uacturer of our mineral ores tne
abundance of our raw material aud
our grand water power wasting for
the want of turbines. Let the invalid
of the bleak northern and eastern
states know that we live in a wonder
ful sanitarium where sunny skies and
balmy winds will prolong his life to
venerable old age. If y u do this
then may we expect Austin to take
her true place as facile princeps
among her rivals. x-loy.
LIST OP LETTERS.
Following is the list of letters remaining
uncalled for and advertised at the Post-
ollice at Austin. Tex. for the week ending
December 8 1890:
LADIES' LIST.
Allen Joanah (2)
rieard Mary E mrs
Clark Lizzie miss
Cane Clara miss
Dunivan Julia mrs
Figure Annie miss
Granwaii M mrs
ltoin Sail le R
Johnson and family
Burcher. Ada miss
Chapman Margaret
l nirs
Carl Luella miss
Fields Caroline
Glaska Lara miss
Hewlett bailie miss
Jeterson JSetue nnss
Kennard M mrs
mrs T Kyle M D mrs
Kunrnaugh Maggie K etzing E K mrs
Miller. Nancv Massev. Edith miss
Merry Laura Mrs Marbles Lucinda mrs
Muncie Nellie miss Montgomery Mar-
Moore Angeline mrs garet miss
Maxwell. Acielade Merrell. Butty miss
miss Mctiowen J A mrs 2
Nooner M C mrs Puckett Sophia mrs
ayn Annie E Pling Lizzie A
Kilter. Emma miss Reed Fannie mrs
Robi'-son Lucy miss Rollwies Allice miss
Koberson Adline Reed Mary
.Smith. Emma miss Slv. E H mrs
Slubbs Nettie miss Stevenson Mary miss
Sunes Mie.ey miss Wood Kutba miss
Walker M J miss
GENTLEMEN'S LIST.
Abila Tiburcio
Bouldin RE
Colemun Henry
Dawson A E
Dunn James E
Davis J A
Evens James
Finley W .1
Fraizer Edmon
Gaschetsky A
HermandJs Albert tC
H ui;li son J E
Haruson James
Johnson J W
Luke A C
Latch Mack H
Lipgine Wilson
Miller Andrew
Martin Enoch
Marshall James
Nouse W O Lt
O'Leary D 8
Parker Barnes
Richardson Ed
Rendon Frenidas
Stannard G P
Stiner Chas Dr
Smith Sara
Tenion Alie
Waster. W B
Curti Loi nie
Cardetiar Eboristo
Denton .lames if
Diflerey Jonn P
Escobar. Kauttino
Evanes Jarit
roster .1 r
Green 8 A
Awrmandes Pablo
Hale Thomas
Henderson Jas
Isaac Harry
Kelly T J
Lockett DM
L ine. J II
MacFlymo Sam
Moore Charley
Miichei G B
Nelson. J P
O'Brine John
Perdles Francisco
ruckett J it a
Ricks J
Hedraon Alfred
Smith G W
Soidiban Amado
Shullz.RF
Wren LR Hon
Ward. W H
Whitley A B or
Lilly
Washington Andrew V Gardner
White Edward Wolf I M
Willis J F
FOREIGN LIST.
Anderson John 2 Justis Jnan
To obtain any of these letters the appli-
cant must say "advertised" pay one cent
and give date of list. Have your letters
addressed in care of your street and num-
ber. If not called for in two weeks they
will be sent to the dead letter office at
Washington. D. C. J. C. DeObess. P. M.
Do Not Suffer Any Longer.
Knowing that a cough can be checked in
a day and the first stages of consumption
broken in a week we hereby guarantee Dr.
Acker's English Cough remedy and will re-
fund the money to all who buy take it as
per directions and do not find our state-
ment correct. For sale by J . J. Tobin.
A TKUANT WIFE.
AX INDEFATAGABLE HUSBAND ON A
STILL HUNT DISCOVERIES HIS
TRUANT WIFE IN AUSTIN.
Aff OLD OLD STOBI OP DESERTION
In Foreign Land aud Fleeing to the
Land of Freedom-What the Out-
orae
Will be No Man
Known.
Some days ago an elderly gentleman
reached this city from a foreign land
Just now it is not essential to tell
whence he came.
Suffice to say be is here and be is
far above the average of men in intel
lect and culture.
His deportment and bearing indi
cate unmistakably that he has been
accustomed to polished society.
In short he is a gentleman.
No doubt about it.
A Statesman reporter met him in
the office of the mayor the other day
and his conversation and courteous
bearing betokened the gentleman by
instinct and education.
This was noticed by all who were in
the office at the time and it drew forth
comments.
He has been and peradventure is
vet a wealthy man and in the land of
diamonds wbeneo he came he took
much interest so it is told in mate
rial improvements and reaching Aus-
tin he has shown some curiosity in
the dam the site of which he has
visited.
He is pleased with the enterprise
and unhesitatingly declares it .will
make Austin a great city.
HIS MISSION
Is this old for he is quite old this
courteous polite gentleman whose
home ana business is tar away in a
foreign land merely traveling through
Texas for pleasure?
Not much I
If reports are correct and there no
earthly reasons for doubting them
this particular old gentleman has. had
some very sad experience in this life.
Some years ago some seven or nine
no matter which his wife so the story
goes gathered mmy costly diamonds
and a great deal of money and secretly
departed for foreign parts.
The old gentleman took steps to
ascertain her whereabouts but for
several years his efforts were fruitless
and he was in the depths of dispair
when good luck would have it a letter
directed to some one in England hap-
pened to fall into his hands.
It was written by his wife and was
dated Austin Tex.
It bore other marks which indicated
that it had been written in this city
but it is not necessary to mention
them.
It is sufficient to merely state that
the paper on which the letter was
written bore the imprint of a well
known bouse.
This letter was the first reliable
trace that fell into the hands of the
husband and he is in Austin today.
so is his wife.
Is she known?
Perhaps she is. Indeed she may be
well known.
In very truth it has come to the
ears of some that she is well known.
Not in society but known by those
who are in society high society.
Long ages ago it was said a man is
known by his works.
This woman is known by her works.
What will be the outcome of the
visit of the husband.
Ah I who knows? Orpheus made a
large and strange journey once on ac-
count of a dead wife.
This husband has made a long
journey to Austin on account of a liv-
ing wife.
He has found her.
He has found something else too.
He li88 seen with his own eyes a
very valuable and a very beautiful dia
mond which he recognizes as an old
favorite.
Alack 1 Alack I It was on some
othpr fellow's hand.
Will the wife return to the husband
and with him sail o'er the sounding
ocean to a come in well a foreign
land.
tiracious knows I Surely this is a
queer worm with some very queer
people in it.
It is lust possible you will hear
more of this story a true one in a few
days.
Will the final be joy and happiness
or w 11 it be sorrow and grief?
Will it be tragedy?
Who knows?
WILKIN3-DAY.
A Brilliant Wedding at the Residence of Mr
J. M. Day Last Evening.
Last evening promptly on the stroke
of 9 o'clock Mr. Frank Wilkin s and
Miss Alma Day joined hands and were
pronounced man and wife the cere
mony taking place at the residence of
Mr. J. M. Day the Kev. Mr. Pinker-
ton officiating. The bridal party en-
tered the blue parlor where the cere
mony was performed in the following
order :
Mr. and Mrs. J. M. Day Mr. John
King best man and Miss Sally Day
maid of honor and then the bridal
couple. The bride was most becom-
ingly attired in a gown of white rep
silk en gtraine richly trimmed down
the front with d'alencon. She carried
a bouquet of flowers and a bridal veil
fell from ber head over the entire
length of the train. The house was
most elaborately decorated with hot
house plants of every description.
ub unuug room was especially ar
tistic
. The chandeliers walls and portiers
were trimmed in ivy and evergreen.
The covers and central dishes were
bordered with ferns and flowers and
in the nooks and reoesses of the rooms
were banks of bloom. Some fifty
chosen friends were the honored guests
ot the evening. Surrounded thus bv
loving friends and kind associates and
no cloud to mar their happiness their
luture life will be oue of happiness
and prosperity and such The Status-
man joins their many friends in wish-
ing them.
MUSICAL TELEGRAPHY.
A Texas Invention That Should be Exhib-
ited at the World's Fair.
The following letter explains itself:
Austin Tex. Deo. 9 1890.
President of the Texas Convention for the
Columbian Fair:
Sir Permit me to call your atten-
tion to my system of musical tele
graphy which I offered to the United
States centennial' commission for its
development and exhihiiion at the
centennial celebration and further to
see by their published proceedings of
mat year thai the project was favora-
bly received.
I presented the subject to the com
mission of the Columbian fair to be
held in Chicago in 1893 and the spe
cial facilities we have in this "day of
electricity" to develop musical tele-
graphy. My proposition was put on
file for future action.
My object in presenting this matter
to your honor is to make it a Texas
enterprise.
The expense in carrying it out
would be small taking into considera-
tion the results. About $5000 wouid
pay for the construction of electrical
attachments for ten pianos including
the key board under the jurisdiction
of a musical director whose office is to
render expression to the music. The
pianos I doubt not could be loaned
almost from any of the piano manu-
facturers to secure the advertising
effects.
The subject before you has been
well matured and approved by leading
electricians.
In 1869 I made it the subject of a
public lecture delivered in the Crosby
opera house in Chicago and other
leading-cities of the country and in
1873 gave it a critical scientific exam
ination before the Franklin institute
of Philadelphia.
With these facts before you and
believing that the enterprise would
subserve the interests of Texas I re-
spectfully submit the subject to your
consideration. Very truly
Your obedient servant
G. P. H ach KNHEita M. D.
One Valuable Result.
Henry Clews the well known finan
cier alluding to the late crisis in
financial circles says:
The crisis has had one valuable in
direct result. It has brought to a
very sharp accountability the reckless
mismanagement that has landed some
of our best railroad properties in their
present sorry financial condition. It
has also created an opportunity for
buying up stocks so as to enable capi-
talists of greater ability and favoring
better methods to get control of a
large mileage of important roads. The
virtual cutting in two of the prices of
such stocks as Rock Island Chicago
Burlington and li'.uncy Illinois Cen
tral St. Paul Union Pacific Atchison
and Topeka etc. has aroused a doep
feeling of discontent among stock hold
ers who will be satisfied in future
with nothing short of a management
that secures satisfactory net earnings
as well as large tonnage. Mr. Gould's
lead in a new policy of co-operation
among ine southwestern roans gives
promise of being a valuable lesson in
the direction of conservative manage
ment. These facts are suggestive of
an improved future condition of the
railroad iuterest and they are likely
to lead to a lasting improvement id
stocks when the money market be
comes more settled.
A Smash tip.
Yesterday just after dark a collision
ocaured between two buggies and a
hack on West Pecan street breakiuc
up the buggy of Mr. Flume and throw-
ing out Mrs. Flume and her two small
children. Mr. Sendry was coming up
the street and seeing the buggy pull
ed out to the side of the road and just
as Mr. Flume was along side the hack
three men in another buggy driving a
last florae at about a threo minute
clip attempted to pass between the
car track and Mr. Flume's buggy.
There not being sufficient space Mr.
Flume's buggy was thrown against the
wheel of the hack and overturned.
For a while it looked like the lady and
both the children would certainly be
killed but after getting things to
rights it was discovered that beyond a
very bad scare to the children and a
severei shock to the lady nobody was
hurt. ' The gentle horse deserves an
extra feed of oats for his good conduct
for the least attempt to run would
have brought serious results.
Charlie Stelnle.
Little Charlie Steinle who was so
seriously shot about two months ago.
is able to sit up and is believed to be
out of danger. The little fellow lias
had a hard time' but he has stood his
sufferings like a hero. He has not
lacked good nursing. (
JUDICIAL.
CASES DISPOSED OF YESTERDAY IN THE
DISTRICT AND MINOR COURTS.
Netee Legal and Otherwlae Gathered
About the Balls of Juatico by the
Statesman's Young; Men.
district court.
in this court yesterday Hon. Wm
M. Key presiding the following cases
were disposed of :
State vs. Will Jones theft of cattle
acquitted.
State vs. Jeff Gilford theft over $20
given two years.
State vs. Ben Rhem rapej on trial
J U STICK FISHER'S COURT.
ine following cases were disposed
oi in this court yesterday before
Judge Fisher:
State vs Frit Bjeski assault with
attempt to rape bound over to the
grand jury in the sum of $500.
btate vs. Hopkins assault fined
$5 aud costs.
btate vs. w ill Wilson and Aaron
Jones charged with driving cattle
from the range set for today at 2 p
m.
recorder's court.
jn this court yesterday Recorder J
II. Hamilton presiding the following
jiiin-eBuings were naa :
City vs. Ld. Bradlov. intoxication
tinai $0 and costs.
City vs. Monroe Bnuile. disturbing
me peace Dy lighting bond forfeited
City vs. Joe Smith vaeraucv bv he
ing an able boddied idle nerson. finpil
T-rv anu costs.
City vs. J. R. Ha'.l. interferiner with
officer in the legal discharge of his
amy no arrest.
THE HIGH COURTS.
COURT OP APPEALS.
Tyler Tex. Dec. 6 1890.
D. H. Hirshfield vs. City of Dallas
Conviction for pursuing the occupation
of a ticket broker and scalper without
first paying and procuring a license
therefor. 1. Under section 100 of the
Dallas city charter the city is given
the power to license tax aud regulate
certain enumerated occupations "and
all other trades professions occupa
tions and callings the taxing of which
is not prohibited by the constitution
of the State of Texas which tax shall
not be construed as a tax on property."
Held: The city under its charter and
ordinances has the right to levy an oc
cupation tax on ticket brokers and
scalpers. While the State does not
tax ticket brokers and scalpers still
under the charter 'and ordinances the
city had the right to levy the tax. 2
There was no evidence that the tax of
$500 levied by the city was more than
enough to regulate the business. Two
witnesses swore that the tax was pro
hibition of the business and this evi-
dence was not contradicted. If this
be true and the occupation is not
per so injurious to the publio
the ordinance is void. In view of
this unimpeached evidence that the
tax amounted to a prohibition of the
business we feel constrained to hold
1 : i i
ine uruuiance voiu nccause in excess
of the power of the city council and
prohibits the pursuit of an occupation
which any citicn would have the
right to pursue under reasonable tax
restriction and regulation. The or
dinance is invalid and the judgment
is illegal. Reversed and remanded
White P. J.
Robert Glass vs. The State from
Bastrop. Kobbery. 1. The indict-
ment was presented and filed Oct. 19
18S9. The evidence showed the offense
to have been committed Oct. 7 1890
Jleld: We cannot presume the date
of the commission of the offense was a
clerical error nor can we presume the
offense whs committed anterior to the
filing of the indictment. Because the
evidence does not show the offense to
have been committed anterior to the
tiling of the indictment the cause is
reversed and remanded. Willson J.
weir now company vs. Hattie J
Carroll et al. from Ellis. 1. Abe
Carroll whs in the livery business and
being insolvent made a bill of sale
and sold the horse in controversy
to his wife. The wife knew of his in
solvency and the sale was secret no
one out tne husband and wife know
ing of the transaction. The business
was carried on after the sale as before.
Held: To our minds the transaction
was clearly fradulent and it was evi
dently the intention of the husband
and wife to defraud the creditors of
the former. The judgment is here re-
versed and rendered for the appellant
together with the principal sum sued
on below all costs and ten ner cent
damages on the amount sued. Re
versed and rendered for appellant.
Willson J.
J. S. Schwartz vs. Lowman & Rons.
from Van Zandt. 1. The affidavit for
attachment was substantially suf-
ficient and the motion to quash was
properly overruled. Affirmed. Per
cunam.
The dam railroad is all rieht. the
dam in all right Austin is all right i
Hi3 LITTLE ERROR.
Aa Incident in the Career' of a Young
and Happy Father.
The story Is on a young Chicago father.
The baby was his first and he wanted to
weigh it
"It's a bouncer!" he exclaimed.' "Where
are the scales?"
The domestic hunted up an old fashioned
steelyard that hud como down from a for-
mer generation. It was the only weighing
machine in the house. The baby wrapped
in the fleecy folds of some light rubric was
iisrwo Jed from the proper hook and the
proud oung father assumed charge of the
exer'i s.
"I'll try it t eight pounds" he said
sliding tho weight along the beam to that
figure
"It won't do. She weighs evorsomach
more tlinn that!"
lie slid tho weight along several notcnes
further.
"Uy George!" he said "she weighs more
than ten pouud! Eleven twelve tbir-
: He set the Imhy an 1 steelyard down and
rested himself n moment.
"Biggest huby I ever saw!" be panted re-
u ruing the weighing process. "Fifteen
ain.1 a half sixteen! Thia thing won't
weigh her: Sec' Sixteeu is the hut notch
and she jerks it v.p like a featker. do aiul
get a big pair of scales ut some neighbor's.
I'll bet a hundred dollars she weighs over
tweniy pounds) Milliiil" he slioutod rush-
ing into tho next room "she's the biggi-sc
baby in this country! Welghsover htxieen
pounds!"
"Wlia; did you wni.?j!i her onf" lniuin-(l
the youn;; mother.
"On tlic ol.l steelyard In the kitchen."
"The Ilg uves on thut are only ouuces"
alio replied q-ii"ily. "Bring me t'.io baity.
Johu." Chicago Tribune.
A l the l-'uutbnll Gaiuo.
Miss n:!icl (Imtwcen cheers) Did you
play foot hall when you wero In college Mr.
Tomf
Bashful Tom No; I went In for base-
ball. Miss Ethel I'm awfully sorry.
Bashful Tom Why Miss Kthelf
Miss Ktlu-l t)h. I think football is ever
so much more picturesque: and t hen llitxe
boys hug nud squeeze each other so
But just then Yule scored a touchdown
and the yelling drowned the rest of her re-
marks. After the Thanksgiving dinner
though when the old folks were drowsy
from overdoses of turkey and mince pio
Tom artfully led back to the subject under
discussion and ns a result the engagement
but Life Iwtrnya no confidences. Life.
IIU I'ond Hopea Hlnntrtd.
Miss Sharply I cau't . imagine what
El hel was thinking of such a clever girl
as she to marry such a stupid as Mr. llol-
lowhead. Mr. Featherbrain Yos but we don'l
know nil t ho circumstances.
Miss Sharply Circumstances! There are
no circumstances that could possibly ex-
cuse a girl for marrying a fool.
Mr. Featherbrain Do you really think
o Miss Sharply F
Miss Sharply Certainly I do.
Mr. Featherbrain (siiilly) Then I sup-
pose I might us well nay good-by. Boston
Courier.
A riiulur Pnpnr.
Juek Mono I ''ear you arc goinfc tostnrl
a newspaper Quil. Is that so?
John Quit Yea got everything ready.
First i uiulier comes out next week.
J. ?i What are you going to cull itf
J. li -The Dollar.
J. M M' hat the deuce do you want to
give it nu ll a name as thnt forF
J. Q. Bitcause everybody will be after
it. Doa't you see? Capo Cod Item.
An American Flunkey.
"Well James" (hsurved the gentleman
"I hear you got situation as valet re-
cently'" "1 ilid sir" repl.Bd James; "hut It w
too blamed much for my self rospot'.
What do you think the boss asked me to
do the very llrst morning? Wanted me to
holp him dress. "Americun Grocer.
Pointed.
Jamesley (a gcntlemun of leisure stop-
ping Barker who is rushing to catch a
train) 1 say Barker hullo! Fine day.
How ure you getting nlougf
Barker (sternly) Very slowly; in fact
I have just been stopped.
He caught the train. Lowell Citizen. '
Deunllng- the Lion.
Druggist (crossly) 1 don't see why you
always come here after your postuge
stamps I
Mr. W. Fearless Rail (cheerfully) Well
it's so convenient you know; you always
have some mucilage I can borrow la case
tlwy don't stick. Puck.
An Imitative Mother.
Teacher Tom my Bingo this excuse that
you have brought mo for being absent yes-
terday looks very much as If you had writ-
ten It.
Tommy Bingo-Mother always did writ
like mo ma'am. New York Sun.
lOxeiiKiihle Anrkwardnrxn
Guest-Ouch! Geewhittakerl Yon'v
spilled some soup dowu my miukl
Waller I'sorful sorry. salt: butvoo .
sah I's so in doubt If vou Is mvlrw to iih
me a.tip or not It makes ine nervous.
New York Weekly.
A Useful Art.
"Tho American Institute fair has aa eA.
ncational value. The useful arts urhnn
there In detail."
"That's so. I had my boy there theothe.
day learning bow to blow a blue triasa
yacht. "-I'uck. 4
Misleading-.
Freddy Fnngle Papa couldn't the nM
patriarchs afford to buy their elotbes?
angle certainly. Why?
Freddy Funle Because the Bible says '
They rent their garments." Judge.
OOeusIre Virtue.
Why. Tommv: whv AA
Ethel?"
'She was so darned
nldn't help it. "-Life. -' '