From Hell to Breakfast Page: 31
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BIG SAM AND DE GOLDEN CHARIOT
mule's soul, clip-clop, clip-clop, striving for dem Pearly
Gates like every soul am bound to do. Big Sam and de old
good Saint Peter dey both turn round and see de mule com-
ing lightning quick across de clouds.
"Whoa, mule!" hollered Big Sam. "If I ain't going to
Heaven, what makes you think you can?"
"Ha!" say de good Saint Peter, "Dat jackass ain't no less
chance getting in dan you is, Big Sam, and you can put dat
in your pipe and smoke it."
Dat taken old Big Sam down right smart. He set down
kerplunk on de top step of dem Golden Stairs and took to
reckoning. Here come de old mule what kicked him, and
nuzzle up to Big Sam just de same as he didn't kill him de
"Old mule," say Big Sam, "I might as well's to forgive
you now. I reckon we is got to spend dis everafter together
just paying for dem little sins."
De good Saint Peter shook his head.
"It be writ in de Books, Big Sam. It be writ in de Books. I
can't do nothing for you till your sins is forgiven. Den is de
only time dese Pearly Gates can swing wide for your
Big Sam was leading de mule and dey was about four
steps down, going mighty slow. Headin' down to dem fear-
ful pits of darkness and eternal suffering.
Dat was when old Abraham stuck his fuzzy white head out
de Pearly Gates and holler to old good Saint Peter.
"Brother Pete!" he say, "Oh, Brother Pete! De mostest
fearful thing done happen. Dem stable angels done give de
Golden Chariot hosses too much holy hay, and dey is found-
ered. But dat ain't de wust. Old Brother Hotwind Brown, de
faithful messenger of de Lord, done died a preaching in his
Burleson County pulpit, an' we got no Golden Chariot to
fetch dat nigger to his rich rewards in de best of style. De
Lord is mighty peeved. Mighty peeved." He shooken he
fuzzy white head and wait for good Saint Peter to have a
idee. Good Saint Peter he don't say nothing. He stumped.
But Big Sam ain't. He looking out for Big Sam. Quick as
greased lightning he back on de top step, leading dat mule.
Here’s what’s next.
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From Hell to Breakfast (Book)
Volume of popular folklore of Texas and Mexico, including religious anecdotes, stories about Native American dances, stories about petroleum and oil fields, folk songs, legends, customs and other miscellaneous folklore. The index begins on page 205.
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Dobie, J. Frank (James Frank), 1888-1964. From Hell to Breakfast, book, 1944; Dallas, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc67649/m1/39/: accessed October 21, 2018), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Press.