Texian Stomping Grounds Page: 37
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large bottle, no more and no less to all alike, rich and poor."
(Each bottle cost him the full sum of 18 cents.) "It is not sold
by wholesale or retail druggists, for I am the only person in this
country who is authorized to distribute it. A medical concern
offered me a large fortune for the formula; but I was unwilling
for any cor-po-rate monopoly to exploit you good people by
charging exorbitant prices for Yogi Oil. One bottle only to each
person and no bottle is genuine without my signature. I abso-
lutely guarantee it to cure pain of every kind, whether in man or
beast, if you will simply apply it to the afflicted parts; for, remem-
ber, this medicine must be used externally and not internally."
(About that time a freight train with bell clanging came roar-
ing past and let out a terrifying shriek just before it reached the
depot; whereupon a scared saddle mule, hitched by a rope to an
old post near the railroad track reared back on his haunches and
pulled loose. The snorting mule came tearing down the street
dragging the hitching post after him; and some wag in the crowd
hollered out: "Ketch that mule and give him a dose of Yogi Oil."
A husky farm woman with a large shoebox full of eggs which
she had brought in to exchange for coffee scampered for safety;
but she stumbled and splattered her eggs on the sidewalk. Dur-
ing this disturbance, Keeno remained as cool as a cucumber and
after the commotion had subsided resumed his speech as if
nothing had happened.)
"Yogi Oil is so powerful that a little goes a long way. Its
re-marr-kable penetrating quality has baffled medical science,
and I must say, my friends, (this in a lower voice) that some
doctors-but not all doctors-are actually jealous of the un-
press-e-dented success of my oil; but understand that I am not
fighting the doctors, for I am a doctor myself." (Here he ex-
hibited a diploma bearing a circular-saw gold seal, with blue
ribbon attached, which he had purchased from a jerk-water medi-
cal college.) "Just to show you this oil's penetrating power."
(Here he poured a little on one side of a thick piece of leather,
and instantly it showed up on the other side.) "You can see with
your own eyes what it will do."
(Even at this stage the crowd seemed convinced; for the jingle
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Dobie, J. Frank (James Frank), 1888-1964. Texian Stomping Grounds, book, 1941; Dallas, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc67663/m1/45/: accessed July 26, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Press.