The Southwestern Historical Quarterly, Volume 64, July 1960 - April, 1961 Page: 188
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Southwestern Historical Quarterly
lation of 360 copies a week," and was thus a caricature of the vain
and pretentious country journalist.
In one of the best of these early sketches, Snort was satirized
for his attempt to keep up with the New York press. He had just
hired an office boy, Johnny Fizzletop, to help him with his man-
ifold editorial duties, such as mixing paste, running to the saloon
with a tin bucket, and writing editorials to shake the thrones of
Europe. On this particular occasion Snort instructed Johnny how
to write up a local trial in the manner of New York journalism.
"Were there any female witnesses?"
"Yes, Mrs. Sniverly was on the stand."
"What sort of a looking woman is she?"
"About forty, ugly as sin, with a wart on the end of her nose,
and she wears specs."
"Write-Mrs. Sniverly, the girl wife of the accused, then took the
stand. She was a vision of loveliness, a bewitching blonde with large
languishing eyes, a faultless, willowy figure, and fine chisled features."
"But Col. Snort, she ain't that sort of a woman. I saw her myself."
"Johnny, we must keep pace with the New York press no matter
if we perjure ourselves in every issue of the paper. ... Remember,
Johnny, that to keep pace with the metropolitan press you must
describe every woman as if she was a young society belle, even if she
be 127 years old and bed-ridden. By the way, to keep pace with
New York journalism, we must have a life like picture of Mrs.
Sniverly, the child wife. There is an old cut of Lydia Pinkham, and
one of Queen Victoria at the age of twenty. Shove them in. ...
Wind up the article by bragging that our paper is the only paper
in the United States that has a correct account of the trial, and a
reliable picture of the child wife."4
It was another attempt to imitate the New York press that
began Snort's political career. After the New York Graphic an-
nounced it would change over to the Republicans because it be-
lieved the election results of 1888 were a mandate for a high tariff,
Snort announced he too would flop but for different reasons.
"What do we care for the tariff? It's the Crosbyville post-office we
are after."5 In this sketch Sweet was evidently satirizing those
Democrats who changed to Republicans because they had not been
given jobs under Cleveland. He had Snort say: "The reason we
don't support Democracy in the future is because the Democracy
4Ibid., VI (July 31, 1886), 12.
6Ibid., X (January 26, 1889), 3.
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Texas State Historical Association. The Southwestern Historical Quarterly, Volume 64, July 1960 - April, 1961, periodical, 1961; Austin, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth101190/m1/218/: accessed November 15, 2018), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas State Historical Association.