The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 23, Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1942 Page: 1 of 4
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Abilene Christian College. Wednesday April 1. 1942
More Fifth Columns!"
ft Prof. Burfora Reveals
Writing of Jive Tones
Disclosing that he was writer of
"Deep In the Heart of Texas" "I
Don't Want to Set the World on
Fire" and several other past hit
songs Leonard "Halt-Pago" Burford
ACC music department head this
morning announced he would take
over directorship of Fred Warlng's
choral group early in May.
"I hate to leave old ACC" said
Burford "but this classical stuff
gets a guy down after so long a
time." Ho indicated he would take
up permanent residence in Tin Pan
Alley. "As a sideline I want to grind
out some real jive" he said.
Commenting on Burford's action
President Don Morris . said he was
"indeed sorry to see Mr. Burford
go." Morris would name no successor
but hitherto unimpeachable sources
reported the prcxy would step into
the vacancy himself
Will Not Speak
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Because he wanted to keep it cozy
President Roosevelt last night put
his foot down oh his wife's proposed
visit and lecture at Abilene Chris-
tian college's "W" club meeting Fri-
Planning to speak to the "worth-
less women" on "Keeping the Male
on the Nail" Mrs Roosevelt explain-
ed "Franklin simply insists that I re-
main at the White House to keep
his number elevens warm in the
current out-of-scason cold snap."
Said Mr. Roosevelt at his daily
press conference "It is with deepest
regret that I persuaded Eleanor to
abandon the project. Her heart was
set on going for hours but this is
certainly no time for the president
of the United States to get cold feet."
"I've tried every way to change
Frank's mind but he's dead sot in
his ways. He'says that bricks heat-
ing pads and hot water bottles just
lack that sympathetic touch'
concluded Mrs. Roosevelt. "
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in culmination of a midnight all- .
school meeting in Morris stadium
Saturday night outraged students
lighted torches and marched on the
Optimist office wiicre the staff was s
going over the latest Smith jokes
to demand the Fifth Column be
dropped from the weekly student
Snakcy Johnson leader of the
men and Lou Scoggtns hard-
fisted women's spokesman waved
their torches under the editor's nose
and whispered gently that becauso
love and courtship had come to a
standstill there was . no
need for sUch a feature besides
their names hadn't been in it enough.
Others of the rabble piped up
through raspy pipes to say in uni-
son that all they wanted to read was
the advertising anyway and if they
found the Fifth Column again they
would immediately subscribe to the
McMurry War Whoop. '"
Just as things were going from
worse to worser and it looked as if
the staff were doomed in tripped
Thelma Jolllffc playing her trusty
piccolo and soothed the mob with
Further quieted when Clyde Lewis
(long ardent admirer of the column)
spoke up in defense of-tho filthy
Fifth the mjlllni; crowd milled a
little and finally dispersed in either
of one direction following confused-
ly the strains of Jolliffc's piccolo
Excavate Hole First '
Says Charles Chumley
"Excavate" said Charley Chumley
the man with the voice and .ACC's
representative at radio station KRBC
when he spoke in chapel Saturday
on the subject "Building Our Lives."
Chumley said the first thing to do
in building a house is not to lay a
strong foundation but to dig a hole
for the foundation. "Civilization de-
pends upon digging a good deep
hole for its house one that bombs
can fall into" the speaker said;'
"civilization can stay out of the hole
and thereby save itself."
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The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 23, Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1942, newspaper, April 1, 1942; Abilene, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth101374/m1/1/: accessed December 12, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.