The Canadian Crescent. (Canadian, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 17, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 23, 1888 Page: 7 of 8
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THE CANADIAN CRESCENT.
B. MULEB, Editor k Pab'r.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT
CANADIAN. - TEXAS.
AT "THE LITERARY."
Folks in town, I reckon, thinks
They git all the fun they air
Ruunin' loose 'round!—but, 'y jinks!
We got fun, and fun to spare,
Kight out here amongst the ash
And oak timber ever'where!
Some folks else kin cut a dash
* Sides towu-people, don't fergitl—
'Specially in winter-time,
When they *s snow, and roads is fit.
In them circumstances I'm
Resignated to my lot—
"Which puts me in mind o' what
'S called "The Literary."
TTs folks in the country sees
Lots o' fun!—Take spellin'-school;
Er ole hoe-down jamborees;
Er revivals: er ef you '11
Tackle taffy-pullin's you
Kin git fun, and quite a few!—
Same with huslcin s. But all these
Kind o1 frolics they hain't new
By a hundred year' er two,
Cipher on it as you please!
But I'll tell you what I jest
Think walks over all the rest-
Anyway it suits me, best—
That's "The Literary."
First they started it— "'y gee!"
Thinks-says-I: "This settlement
'S gittin' too high-toned fer me!"
But when all begin to jine,
And I heerd Izory went,
I jest kind o' drapped in line
Like you've seen some sandy, thin,
Scrawny shoat put fer the crick
Down some pig-trail through the thick
Spice-bresh, where the whole drove's been
'Bout six weeks 'fore he gits in!
" Can't tell nothin'," I-says-ee,
'Bout it tel you go and see
Their blame 'Literary!*"
Very first night I was there
I was 'p'inted to be what
They call "Critic"—so's a fair
And square jedgment could be got
On the pieces 'at was read,
And on the debate—" Which air
Most destructive element,
Fire er worter?*' Then they hed
Compositions on "Content,"
"Death," and "Botany;" and Tompfl,
He read one on "Dreenin' Swamps"
I p'nounced the boss, and said:
*4 So fer 'at's the best thing read
In 4 The Literary!' "
Then they sung some more—tel I called
. Order, and got back ag'in
In the critic's cheer, and hauled
All o' the p'formers in.
Mandy Brizend ne read one
I fergit; and Doc's was 44Thought;"
And Sarepty's, hern was 44 None
Air denied 'at knocks;" and Daut—
Fayette Strawnses little niece-
She got up and spoke a piece;
Then Izory she read hern,
44 Best thing in the whole concern,"
I-says-ee; 44 now le' 's adjourn
This-here 4 Literary!""
They was some contendin'—yifc
We broke up in harmony.
Road outside as white as grit,
And as slick as slick could be!
I'd fetched'Zory in my sleigh,
And I had a heap to say,
Drivin' back—in fact, I driv
'Way around the old north way,
Where the Daubenspeckses live.
'Zory alius—'fore that night—
Never 'peared to feel just right
In my company.—You see
On'y thing on earth saved me
Was that 44Literary!"
—James Whit comb lliley, in Century.
LOVE ON A LOG.
A Startling1 Story of Adventure,
More Strange Than True.
[Written for This Paper.]
R. Charles French,
of New York, stood
on the high bluffs
w h i e h overlook
the Upper Missouri
river in Dakota.
He was enjoying
the scenery of the
canyon and specu-
lating on the ve-
locity of the river
beneath. He had
not long to wait to
ascertain the truth. The rock on
which he was standing suddenly broke
off; he was pitched violently out into
the stream, narrowly escaping death
from the rock itself.
"Herels a pretty mess," he mused,
climbing on to a big floating log and
blowing the muddy water from his
mouth. 44 Now, why in the name of
the dickens couldn't 1 have had my
shot-gun in hand when I fell. What
chance shots at ducks and geese I
mi<rht have had! Then there's the
dog, and the horse, and the
luggage, and oh, blame it all,
"the provisions at the mercy of
that rascally, big-mouthed, always-
hungry guide. Well, I am in for it.
INo landing spot in this canyon for a
hundred miles or more, I suppose.
Wonder if the pistol will work!
Query: Can a man kill a duck with a
pistol? And if so, need he starve? If
J. am in for a voyage down the Mis-
souri on a log, why not enjoy myself?
Provisions are scarce, but a raw duck
wouldn't go bad, particularly a can-
vas-back. Delmoaico only cooks the
skin of a duck anyway, and
serves the raw flesh under
it with currant jelly. Now, if 1
can get a duck, all I need to do is to
pull off the skin and eat the flesh a la
Deimonico, minus the currant jelly. I
see I was mistaken as to the velocity
of the river. It flows ten or twelve
miles an hour here, sure, fast as my
yacht could trip the seas in a spanking
breeze. And the height of the canyon
trails 1 was mistaken about, also;
judging from my fall they must be
two hundred feet high anyway. Now,
why wasn't I killed? Let me see!
I was standing on the edge of
the precipice with my hands
in my pockets. Good ! The arms in
a jump should be vertical, up or down.
I had a sponge in my nose, on account
of hay fever. Good! The nostrils
should be protected in flight. Just
before reaching the water I turned a
half-somerset. Good! One should
strike the water head first, where the
blood has accumulated, in order to
cool it. It was an accidental, but thor-
oughly successful leap, and if the re-
porters had been present I should have
been wanted among the East river
bridge immortals. "
Mr. Charles French, of New York,
easily adapted himself to his sudden
and novel environment. He was mak-
ing a tour of his own country previous
to going abroad, and cared very little
"help!" she cried.
about an adventure which so far liad
terminated so happily for his life and
limbs. His quick perception told him
that he was the hero of an adventure.
His guide and his boon companions on
the hunt had all witnessed the acci-
dent and although they might now be
searching for his corpse, they would,
when they found him alive, verify
his marvelous story. What an
adventure for a club tale, backed
up by a half dozen club men
as spectators! In his golden dreams
of himself as the future hero of the
club he stretched out on his back on
the big log and went to sleep. Two
hours elapsed before he awoke. A
loud call as of some one in distress
had disturbed his slumbers. Looking
around half dazed, and trying to re-
7 v O
member where and why he was, he
saw a girl on a narrow strip of ac-
cumulated silt and debris at the base
of the canyon wall.
44 Help!" she cried wildly gesticulat-
The log was big and unmanageable,
but French slid off into the water,
placed his hands on one end and with
his feet as paddles and rudder steered
it ashore as millions or boys have done
when in swimming with other boys.
When the prow of his strange craft run
its nose upon the silt bed he lazily
climbed upon the outer end and
sprawled out in the sun to dry.
44 Oh, sir! can vou not £et me out of
J W ~
this dreadful position? If the current
should rise a foot I would be swept
44 Certainly, miss! Allow me." He
sprang ashore, gallantly assisted lici-
to get upon the log and pushed off.
Then lie seated her as comfortably as
possible and sat down beside her. He
looked at his watch and ascertained
that it was not yet noon. The girl,
who had at first turned pale with
fright, began to get calm in the pres-
ence of his utter indifference to en-
"Excuse me," he said, -abruptly.
44 Now, how in the deuce—X beg your
pardon—I mean, how did you get in
such a place as that. Come down in
"If it wouldn't be impudent, sir,
might I enquire how you came aboard
such a craft as this?"
441 was hurled off the precipice by a
section of the rock giving away. When
I saw this big log floating with a nice
moss back, I just naturally climbed
aboard and concluded to take a little
ride before dinner."
44 How wonderful! But, really,
can't you assist me to the top of the
canyon wall again? My friends will
be crazed at my absence."
44 Certainly, at the first opportunity.
I wouldn't mind meeting your friends
myself, particularly if they happen to
have a morsel to eat along, and a little
old rye to brace one. This is a great
atmosphere for something bracing.
You haven't informed me how you got
on to that silt bed. No living being
can climb up or down these walls."
44 My story is brief and not so thrill-
ing as yours. I was out collecting the
strange, wild flowers that grow in
this country, and gradually worked
down a favorable incline of the can-
yon until I got to the bottom. I tried
to get back but couldn't climb up. I
shouted for help, but could attract no
attention. Finally I saw the log and
a man asleep on topi His lack of real-
ization of danger gave me courage.
You know the rest"
44 Oh, no! I don't know the rest
What I want to know is, how a beau-
tiful—beg pardon—how a young lady
like yourself ever got into this blasted
country, any way. Why, it's an al-
most uninhabited area of thousands of
square miles. The Bad Lands border
it The very land where I found you
is a part of Sitting Bull's reservation.
You were a trespasser, liable to ar-
44 Not so fast, please, Mr. "
They exchanged cards.
44 Not so fast, please, Mr. French.
I am a daughter of an army officer.
Oh, dear, how papa and the folks will
worry. My father, General Edward
Harrington, is in command of this
army division. WThat is it, depart-
ment of the Missouri? Well, we were
on an inspecting tour, that is, papa,
and were encamped on the bluff. We
must be a long way from camp now."
She looked at the frowning walls
which seemed to grow higher and
higher, and for an instant an expres-
sion of despair and terror was visible.
44Do not fear," said the young man,
gently. 44 We are moving at a rate of
twelve miles per hour and must soon
get to an opening. Even if we do not,
it is our hope of escape. I am thank-
ful even for life, to be serious. Few
people who fall two hundred feet know
what the enjoyments of life are. You,
too, were in mortal danger. Our
means of ultimate escape are beneath
us. We have much to be thankful for
besides the preservation of our lives.
This log might be - so small that we
could not sit on it high and dry above
water. It might have been slimy and
slippery instead of beautiful and heavi-
ly overgrown with moss. By the way,
poor child, doesn't your back ache on
account of sitting up so straight with
nothing to lean upon? "
44 Yes, very much; but I don't mind
it You have given me courage and
hope. Do not also worry about me."
44 We can mend matters by sitting
with our backs, together if you don't
The pair arranged themselves, seated
in an upright position with their backs
together. Somehow, when they spoke
they turned their faces so that their
cheeks rubbed together, at which Miss
Harrington blushed violently and
hastily turned her head, while the
young man's heart throbbed as it had
never done before.
44By the way," said Mr. French at
last. 441 am fearfully hungry. How
do you feel? 1
44I am quite hungry, too, but don't
worry about that. Let us not talk on
the subject, but try and forget our
44 Not at all. I am ¿roin£ to shoot one
of those ducks ahead there, one of ihe
canvas backs. Now if you will excuse
the use of my back temporarily I will
blaze away. One shot, no good. Sec-
ond shot—ah, two ducks dead—pretty
good for a pistol."
As the ducks were floating ahead of
the log at the same rate of speed, he
sprang into the water and rapidly
overtook them. He was somewhat ex-
hausted on returning, and handed the
ducks to Miss Harrington. Then he
tried to climb on tiie log, but slipped
back, exhausto 1. Miss Harrington
put out her hand and grasped his.
Many a man has seen times in his life
when, if a girl had put out her little
hand when he was all surrounded with
darkness and despair, his fortunes
would have bloomed again as the rose.
Many a girl 1 as lost the man she
loved for hesitating at the critical
moment when her lover's fortune hung
in a balance. Remember, young
ladies, that the man who falls rises
HE WAS SOMEWHAT EXHAUSTED WHEN
higher than ever when he again gets
With the aid of Miss Harrington, Mr.
French once again was safe on the log.
441 owe my life to you," he said,
fervently pressing the hand that saved
•'But I owe mine doubly to you.
You not only rescued me but risked
your life to ge: me some food."
"Can you cojk?" he asked, sudden-
ly changing the subject"
"Oh, yes," said the yonng lady,
blushing and laughing at the ridicu-
lousness of the suggestion.
Mr. French took a metallic box from
his pocket and with a match set one
end of the log on fire.
"Now," said he, *4while I confine
the fire with water, you roast the
In a few minutes the girl pronounced
the ducks as in a proper edible con-
dition, and Mr. French carved them
with his pocket-knife. The pair then
sat down facing each other and en-
joyed the novel banquet as they had
never enjoyed eating before. It was
late in the afternoon when the can-
vass-backs had satisfied them. The
sun was getting so suspiciously toward
the horison that his light no lonsrer
touched the east wall of the canyon.
Mis3 Agnes Harrington suddenly
looked up, with a half appealing, half
dread expression on her beautiful face.
44Mr. French," she said, 44do you
think we will have to ride all night?"
44I fear so."
44Oh, this is dreadful," and she
bowed her face in her hands.
He looked at her a moment in puz-
zled manner. Then he comprehended.
Moving very near to her he took the
hands in his own and kissed them very
tenderly, considering short acquaint-
ance. "Miss Agnes," he said, "pardon
me for calling you Agnes, I feel the
delicacy of the circumstances. But
we must save our lives, even at the ex-
pense of what society may say of our
strange ride at night together. I only
want to know one thing. Can you
44 Trust you? yes; as I would my
44 Why not as your lover, dear one.
I do love you. You saved my life."
44 And 1 lové you who twice saved
He drew her to his arms and made
her ride more comfortably, by hold-
ing her head on his broad shoulders. At
dusk the log glided into rocky coun-
try, where the high walls were no lon-
ger seen. Suddenly a cry of terror
was heard and a man was seen to rush
from the rocks and spring into the riv-
er. followed by the reports of several
pistol-shots. Rapidly the log glided
past the place, and soon the man
caught it and was pulled up to a safe
place by Mr. French.
44Hush!" he whispered, hoarsely.
44 Cattle- thieves!"
The log glided silently along for a
time. 44We have escaped," said the
4 4 Might I inquire where we are?"
said Mr. French.
"You are about a hundred miles
above a landing place and you ought
to be glad of it. "
44Why, it will require an all-night
journey, and we are tired riding all
Miss Harrington gave voice to just a
little sob. Still, she couldn't be com-
promised by the presence of two men.
441 tell you," said the man, 44 this
country is swarming with cattle-
thieves. I was sent out here to preach
to these people and convert them, and
thev have robbed me of all I have in
the world. This gang we just passed
pursued me and threatened my life be-
cause 1 would inform the commanding
officer of the army and have the out-
44Are you a clergyman?" almost
gasped Mr. French.
"Yes, sir. The Rev. Abe Sinclair, of
Mr. French whispered in the car of
the tired young lady, who was almost
asleep in his arms, and when she tried
to speak closed her lips with kisses.
"It will save 3*011 from being compro-
mised," he urged.
She sat upright and took the hand of
her lover of a day. "I am ready," she
441 say, Mr. Sinclair, would you
mind marrying us?"
44 Not at all, if you will give me a
piece of cold duck for my fee. This
climate sharpens the appetite wonder-
fully." William IL Ballou.
Washington Society Note. *
The following schedule of rates, evi-
dently the property of some corre-
spondent-lady who writes letters irom
Washington about society ladies, has
been handed in to this office by the
finder, and the owner can have it on
Saying a lady is a favorite in society.... ..$1 80
44 is beautiful and accom-
44 looks like Mrs. Cleveland... 2 25
44 is a charming hostess 2
44 is immensely wealthy 10 00
44 is of old family 75
44 wears Worth dresses....... 3 75
44 received with Mrs. Whitney 1 25
•• has an exquisite complexion 35
44 has a wealth of golden hair.. 40
44 has limpid eyes t. 20
44 has aristocratic hand and
44 has a sweet disposition 5
44 has a distingue air 60
44 has a queenly grace 1 00
44 44 entertains royally 65
44 44 is in Lhe White House set... 5 35
At this point the schedule was torn
in half, and we regret that we are un-
able to fill out the bill for the further
edification and guidance of our readers.
—The water in which codfish has
been soaked is very good for washing
the ziuc under the stove.
nHEU MATISM .NEURALGIA
• OR KINDRED ILLS *
Is prepared solely for the
enre of complaint* which
afflict all womankind. It
gives tone and strength to
Kx the uterine organs, and
corrects dangerous displacements and irregulari-
ties. Itlsofpreat value In change of life. Theuseol
HEBBELL^ FJBHA1JB TOUIC «lurlngpreg*
nancy greatly relieves tbe pains of motherhood anu
promotes speedy recoverv. It assists nature to
safely make the critical change from girlhood to
womanhood. Itlspleasant to thetaste and may ha
taken at all times vrlth perfect safety. Price, fl.
ron BALE BT ALL DKUGGIST*. .
J.S.MEKRELLDRUGCO. .SoleI*ruu..bT. LOUIS.
it is a p u beiy vegetad le PREPARATION
AM3 0THEH EQJJAUY EFFICIENT REMEDIES
It has stood the Test of Years,
in Curing all Diseases of the
BLOOD, LIVER, STOM-
ACH, KIDNEYS, BOW-
ELS, &c. ItParifiasthe
Bipod, Invigorates and
Cleanses the System.
disappear at once under
its beneficial influence.
It is purely a Medicine
as its cathartic proper-
faniirrr c!H ties forbids its use as a
13 U Jf¥LAélbJS beverage. It is pleas-
ant to the taste, and as
easily taken by child-
PRICKLY ASH BITTERS C8
bt.Louisand Iíakoas City
Ifef and Bowels
CUBE CONBTTPATIOW. iNDIOWOTOIf, DTSPBPtftA.
Pilkb, Sick Hkadachi, Liver Complaint . Loss
of Appetite, Biliousness, Nervousness, Jaun-
dice, Etc. PRICE, MS eentn.
¡PACIFIC MANQFACT0RM6 CO.. ST. 10DIS.U0.
I had calarrhto bad
there were great sores
in my nose, one place
was eaten through.
Two bottles of Ely's
Cream Balm did the
work. My nose and
head are well. C. 8.
McMUlen, Sibley, Mo.
17 "D "1717
ever printed. Cheapest
& best SEEDS grown.
Gardeners trade a spe-
cialty. Packets only Sc.
Cheap as dirt by osl A lb.
cfferttL Ad. J.P.ftaows,
£.i.. * vi
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Miller, Freeman E. The Canadian Crescent. (Canadian, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 17, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 23, 1888, newspaper, February 23, 1888; Canadian, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth183549/m1/7/: accessed October 22, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Hemphill County Library.