Texas Jewish Post (Fort Worth, Tex.), Vol. 64, No. 16, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 22, 2010 Page: 12 of 24
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12 I April 22,2010
Part 2: The art of J*Datirig
Minutes after creating a J*Date profile you'll
probably start receiving winks, flirts and mes-
sages. Being fresh meat on the JT>ate market
means you're feeling pretty popular right now,
but how do you turn the views into dates? And
what do you do when someone else's profile
catches your eye?
First, use the J*Date tools to your advantage.
Search for your type, using the new tags for not
only age and area but hobbies and personality
traits too. Next, let someone know you are inter-
ested. When the views, winks and flirts are used
and reciprocated, you know the other person is
intrigued as well. A new tool called "Click Alert"
lets you click a "yes" or "no" button if you're in-
terested, but the results are revealed only if both
people click "yes" so feelings aren't hurt. J*Date
search can keep you busy for a long time as
you narrow and broaden your scope. Once you
know there's mutual curiosity, it's time to send
When you write your message, make sure
it is not about you! We can read enough about
you by reading your profile. The message should
be about why you like the other person, what
caught your eye and what you have in com-
mon. Make the message specific to the person
you're writing to, and add a compliment or two
for good measure. The message
should be more than I
three lines but not more "
than a long paragraph.
And by no means
should you ever copy I
and paste a generic e-
mail; it's always obvious
If you re on the re-
ceiving end of a mes- THE
sage, you can easily SEARCH
check to make sure FOR
the writer actually Rh'SHK'htT
read your profile by
looking for specif-
ics. If you think the ByTamar Caspi
writer is attractive,
you like their profile and their message, then go
ahead and write back. But don't wait to o long.
You should reply within the next day or two, just
as you would if the message were a voicemail to
return after you gave out your number at a bar.
The reply should be gracious but brief and con-
sist of a thank-you, a return compliment and
your phone number. That's it.
The key to Internet dating is to get off the
Internet as soon as possible. Think about it: Be-
cause of the profile questions, you already know
more about the other person than you would
after a typical first date. So if you start trad-
ing long and intense letters, all you're going
to do is create unnecessary anticipation. A lot
of people can have good rapport on paper,
but now you have built-up expectations no
one can meet. You'll have plenty of time to e-
mail, instant-message and text once you're
If you've received a phone number,
pick up the phone within 48 hours.
Don't call during the day when most
people are at work, and don't call
on the weekends when most people
have plans. If you've decided to call
someone, you are hopefully doing
so with the intent of wanting the
other person to pick up, so call when
they're most likely to answer.
Once you get on the phone, cut
to the chase. Again, you don't want
to spend too much time chatting
before you know if there's chem-
istry in person. Make plans for
drinks sometime within the next
week, leaving the evening open in
case that drink turns into dinner.
Tips for the date itself are coming
up in "Part 3: Going on a J "Date."
Tamar Caspi Shnall recently married a Dallasite but
has 15 years' worth of dating advice to share! If you
have any dating dilemmas you can e-mail her at:
TEXAS JEWISH POST & SINCE 1947
Moishe House Dal
doors to Jewish yo
By Rachel Gross
Damon Mathias, Raymond Kira
and Yoni Sallmander have been friends
for 16 years. The men, now all 25, are
taking on a new role as the residents of
Moishe House Dallas.
Moishe House is a network of 29
homes throughout the world that serve
as grassroots centers for young Jewish
adults ages 21 to 30. It aims to create
a framework for a variety of programs
revolving around Jewish community,
Jewish learning and tikkun olam.
The Dallas House opened last
month in Uptown. This is the second
Moishe House to come to Dallas; the
first one closed last year when one of its
members got engaged.
The men hope Moishe House, or
"MoHo" as they refer to it, will be-
come an outlet for post-college adults
Michelle and Ori Raphael are all smiles at a
Moishe House event.
"Before the Moishe House, the only
things available were synagogue groups,
mixers and J-Date," Sallmander said.
"Moishe House is a natural, relaxed en-
vironment. We've only been doing this
for a month, but can see the need for it.
This is what people have been looking
The first event was a brunch that at-
tracted 25 attendees. Since then, they
have had a Shabbat dinner, movie night,
happy hour and "Torah on Tap" at the
Gingerman where Rabbi Zvi Drizin of
the Intown Chabad discu sses pertinent
They are required to host five to six
events each month; these will revolve
around spiritual, communal, cultural,
fun, tzedakah activities. Other ideas
include going to a museum, the Arbo-
retum, sporting events, boating trips
and more. In return for planning ac-
tivities, they receive a program budget
and rent subsidy.
The new faces of Moishe Hou
"We are a social group
Jewish group," Kira said,
want to lose that part of it,
ery event is centered on 1'
weekly parsha. We want tc
we have the Yiddishkeit, ar
Tap gives us that. The ele
come together perfectly anc
will make us successful."
Mathias added that the
approach and variety of ev
tract people. There are no r
fees and most events are fr
cost is buying tickets at son
"We are going to keep
fresh and pick events that
enjoy consistently, but won
he said. "We need to find
balance. The goal is to be i
Moishe House was starte
David Cygielman and Mori
to create a meaningful wa'
adults to acclimate to life a
It is funded by the Charle
Schusterman Family Foun
Joseph Foundation, Righte<
Foundation, and locally st
Morton H. Meyerson, Jay
and Ron Romaner, Howard
Schultz and MB and Edna
dation. The Dallas Moishe I
only one in Texas.
and Sallmander all
attended Akiba and
and believe their
immersion in, and
knowledge of, the
Dallas Jewish com-
munity will also
contribute to their
success. The idea
is simple: to allow
young Jewish pro-
fessionals to meet in
a comfortable set-
ting and make new IJe!
c • j rp, weki
friends. There are no
Here’s what’s next.
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Wisch, Rene. Texas Jewish Post (Fort Worth, Tex.), Vol. 64, No. 16, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 22, 2010, newspaper, April 22, 2010; Fort Worth, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth188289/m1/12/: accessed June 26, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; .