The Alto Herald (Alto, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 12, Ed. 1 Friday, February 28, 1908 Page: 8 of 8
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Nor roa the ui.u v/tu>.
A* Far as S>;e Is Concerned. This
Farmer Is Still Looking
For a Wife.
"I understand that you want i
wife?" ventured tlie little widoA
who had come down 50 miles in an-
swer to a matrimonial advertise-
"Yes," replied the big farmer iti
the red shirt, *'1 want a wife who
can milk 10 cow before break fas',
dean out the house, maka soap, feed
(he pigs and churn ten pounds ol
butter before dinner."
"Yes, but that's not all. She
.must al.-o put up fruit, dry apples,
make apple butter and do auy odd
painting that might be needed
around the house before supper.
Then she must husk corn, shell peas,
make ipiilts and whittle triggers for
the rabbit I raps before bedtime.
Then, when she goes upstairs, she
v il find a lot of overalls, jumpers
and jackets and a big gold-leaf sign
right over the lamp, 'It is never too
late to mend.' Then—"
Rut the little widow had picked
up her valise and fled.
Kcsi and Sleep
Few escape those miseries of
winter—a bad cold, a distressing
cough. Many remedies are recom-
mended, but the one quickest and
best of all is Simmons Cough Sy-
rup. Soothing and healing to the
lungs and bronchial passages it
stops the cough at once and gives
you welcome rest and peaceful
Heinz Wienerschnitzel wns awak-
ened by his wife in the dead of
night. "Ileinz! Heinz!" the whim-
pered, "wake up. There's a burglar
downstairs. I hear him." Heinz was
out of bed in an instant. "Hist!" he
^aid. And slipping on shoes and
trousers he stole softly from the
room. Some time passed. The wife,
listening intently^ heard nothing.
Anxiety overcame her at last. She
crept to the stairway, leaned over
the balustrade and called: "Heinz!"
"Well, what is it?" her husband's
voiec replied. It came not from be-
low, but from above.
"What on earth," said Mrs. Wie-
nerschnitzel, "are you doing up in
the attic?" "Why," said Heinz,
"didn't you say the burglar was
AH the Geld
Could not Buy-
Podlnir. Oa. Auguftt 27. 190C.
Mbssrs. E. C. DiWitt & Co.,
In I ti97 I had e disease oftbnstomach
and bowels. Soma physicians t melt was
Dyspepsia. som« Consumption tithe Lunk'S,
others said consumption of the Dowels. Una
t>hysictan said I would not Uvo until Spring,
and for four long years 1 existed cn a littlo
boiled milk, soda biscuits, doctors' prescrip-
tions and Dyspepsia remedies that flooded
the market. I could not digest anything
1 at«. and In the Spring 1902 I pickad up
one of your Almanacs as a poor emaciated
Dyspepsia wreck will grasp at anything, and
a flftv <
PHPSlA CURB and tho benefit J received
that Almanac happened to be my life saver.
1 bought a fifty cent bottle of KODOL DYS-
from that bottle JtLL THB GOLD IN
GEORGIA COULD NOT BUY. I fcupt on
taking it and In two months I went back to
my work, as a machinist, and In three months
I was well and hearty. I still us* a little oc-
casionally as I And it a fine blood punUar
and a good tonic
May you live long and prosper.
Yours very tiuly,
C. N. CORNELL.
CONFORMS TO NATIONAL
PURE FOOD AND DRUG LAW
This is only a sample of
the great good that is
daily done everywhere by
WHY THE HOUSEKEEPER LEFI
Didn't Consider That Taking Lunch
with Employer Wa Part of
The housekeeper is missing from
a millionaire New York establish-
ment anil her former employer is
bewailing the departure of such a
treasured aid, without in the least
understanding why one so well paid
and so well treated should have
chosen to leave. The former house-
keeper is explaining to a few her
singular reason for departing.
'•I didn't mind looking after 3C
servants," she has toM those who art
in the secret, "nor running a house
in which every detail, from select-
ing the menus to ordering the sash
curtains, fell on me. I did think
I was called on to do too much,
however, when tho mistress of this
great house used to got so lonesome
i in her grand dining room that she
! invited me every day to come and
| lunch with her. That was not a
part of my duties a3 housekeeper
and I had to go."
THE ARTFUL M. D.
MLLfc.nl <y WILLIAMS
to trot." Hountscll handed in
written excuse as follows:
"I am reported by Mrtj. Jackson
for failing at artillery drill to trot.
My excuse is I am a natural pacer."
SOLACE FOR THE MANY.
"What a misfortune it is that tho
public encourages so much trashy
literature 1" remarked the man with
"It isn't a misfortune," answered
the practical person. "It is a bless-
ing. It enables people whose books
won't sell to imagine they have writ-
1. Ho wna a jrounif doctor, M. D.. O
R. T. U. T. T., nnd he had spent a
good donl of money on his young
lady; but a coolness sprung up be-
tween them and tho engagement was
"I suppose you did all the the-
aters and amusement places on your
trip to London, Mrs. ('omeup?"
"Yes, but at most of the shows
they talked so much and I didn't,
know what it was all about."
"Which did you like the best?"
"Oh, the Christmas pandemonium
—it was so nicc and quiet."—Balti-
Stop that tickling Cough! Dr
Shoop's Cough cure will surely
stop it, ami with perfect safety.
It is so thoroughly harmless that
Dr. Slioop tells mothers to use
nothing else even with very young
babies. The wholesome green
leaves and tender stems of a lur.g
healing mountainous shrub fur-
nish the curative properties to Dr.
Shoop's Cough Cure. It calms the
cough, and heals the sensitive
bronchial menibrances. No op-
ium, no chloroform, nothing harsh
used to injure or suppress. De-
mand Dr. Shoop's. Take 110 oth-
er, All Dealers.
2. Did the young mad ko home and
cry hlB eyes out over It? No! We said
No! He got his own back by sending
In a bill for professional attendance.
If you have Catarrh, rid your-
self of this repulsive disease. Ask
Dr. Slioop of Racine, Wis., to
mail you free, a trial box of his
Dr. Shoop's Catarrh Remedy. A
simple, single test, will surely tell
you a Catarrh truth well worth
your knowing, Write to day.
Don't suffer longer.—All Dealers
PASSING OF THE SQUARE.
The old public square of the horse
racks and mud is rapidly passing
The removal of the old courthouse
sounded tho death knell and now
the mayor is burying it under a ma-
cadam pavement. Don't call our
market place square any more, but
place your thumbs in the arm pits
of your vest, throw out your chest
snd call it "Plaza," with a long
drawl on the "z." It is all right for
places like Greenwood and Ninety-
six to call the public mart "The
Square," but places like Abbeville
and Anderson call it "The Plaza."
—Abbeville Press anil liannor.
"It Knocks tlie Itch."
It may not cure all your ills, but
it docs cure one of the worst. It
cures any form of itch ever known
—110 matter what its tailed, where in the hotel clerk "that each of 1- <. t 1 1 1
1 imu.1 uem, uiiu lam 01 ^crncr, "that she never has to ask
he sensation is itch, it knot** your portcr8 haa the prevaiJing ]ier jul8imnj for ni0nev because he
1 . Eczema ringworms, are cured jnnli,]e 1 nusnana ior money, necause
by one box. Its guaranteed, anil «What prevailing trouble?"
"Got the grip."—Baltimore
MISTAKING THE MEANING.
"The id^a of that lawyer asking
me such rude questions!"
"Well, auntie, how else did you
1 wish that I might talk with
all sick ones about the actural
cause of Stomach, Heart and kid-
ney ailments. To explain in j>er-
son how weak Stomach nerves
leads to Stomach Weakness, I am
sure would interest all. And it is
the same with weak Hearts or
weak kidneys. This is why my
prescription—Dr. Shoop's Restora-
tive so promdtly reaches ailments
of the Stomach, Heart, and Kid-
neys". It is wrong to drug the
Stomach or stimulate the Heart
or Kidnevs. These weak inside
nerves simply need more strength.
My Restorative is the only pre
script-ion made expressly, for these
nerves. Next to seeing you per-
sonally will be to mail you free,
my new booklet entitled,. "What
To Do." I will also send samples
of my Restorative as well. Write
for the book today. It will surely
interest you. Address Dr. Slioop,
Box 8, Racine, Wis Ail Dealers.
EVOLUTION iN LITERATURE.
Friend—Tlow'd you come to
write that "best seller?"
The Modern I.it'ry (lent—First I
was struck by a thought. 1 epi
expect a awycr to treat a witnou gralllizcd the thought, sketched the
for the other side epigram, pi ay i zed the sketch, novel-
But I was told this was a civil imJ (hp , an(1 lldvertilJ0<3 th(J
THEIR BUSINESS TO GET IT.
I see, paid the facetious guest "Mrs. Naybor says," began Mrs.
its name is Hunt's Cure.
HI3 NATURAL PACE.
Tlountsell, a confederate soldier,
was deemed by his comrades, says
Mr. Edward A. Moor, in "The Sfory
.if a Cannoneer l'udcr Stonewall
Jackson," as great an enigma
Jackson himself. In
Dou't Be Irritable
"An irritated skin makes an
irritable person, and an irritable
person pathers much trouble unto
hiimelf 1 r herself ■ i the case may
siune of the ,)C yorai. y Hunt's Cure one
various evolutions of the drill it wii> ( (,[ uh,, h js absolute and uu-
;m .-sfirv for the cade's to trot. Tin q i.-.lTk'llv poarnntend to cure any
H,, 1.1 ■ '1 fnih\l to ad ;>t r.r, ] i. nu of - kin trouble. Any kind
will. I to t! • <Klp 'rin'end.'nt. of itching known ?-. relieved at
('il. _ U..J 1
5~r ./KikwiKv*! *
Do nol' suffer*
Will Cur© You.
A POSITIVE CURE
FOR CONSTIPATION, CHILLS AND
FEVER, BILIOUSNESS, MALARIA
AND ALL LIVER COMPLAINTS.
Has Doae A World Of Good.
Mrs. C. D. Philloy, Marblo Falls TVxm<. writes: ''I-hftv®
nsed Herblno and find it tho best.liver corrective I have.ever
tried. It Uono my family as well as myself a world or
nd I rocommend it to all my friends. I uovor auflor from
hoadacliob auy more."
sue will- buy rr.
Ballard! Snow Liniment Co.
500-502 N. Sccond St., ST. LOUIS, MO.
Sold and Recommended by
Allen iS: Willuuus
WANTED CHANCE TO SCREAM
Cleveland Woman's Grievance Aaalnst
Dcntlat Seems a Somewhat
A Cleveland woman prominent in
club circles sut in a dentist's chair
a few weeks ago. She was sore dis-
"Yes, you must have that teeth
pulled one of these days," remarked
the dentist, referring to the triroot-
ed cause of her won, and even as he
spoke he yanked the tooth out.
The woman didn't know it was
out until he showed it to her. It
hadn't hu?t so much, cither, but she
began to storm about the wee littlo
office and grow hysterical.
"Why, it's all over," soothed the
dentist. "It didn't hurt you, did
"No," fumed the woman, "but
you imposed upon me, treated me
like a child—wouldn't let me know
you were going to pull it—gave me
no chancc to scream and relieve my
feelings. You insulted me; tliat'a
what you did."
And ever since then she's been
'going to a different dentist. It's
Notice by Publication of Final
Thk Statk of Tvxas—To Ml
Persons Interested in the Ins-
tate of Willie Lewis, a Minor—
J. li, Roberts, guardian has file t
in the County Court of Chero-
kee county his finnal account of
the condition of said estate, to-
gether with an application to Un-
discharged as Guardian thereof,
which will be heard by our said
Court 011 the second Monday in
April, A. 1). 1908, same being the
13th day of April, A. 1). 1908, at
the Court House of said Cherokee
county, in the town of Rusk, at
which time and place all persons
interested in said estate are re-
quired to appear and contest said
account and application, if they
Witness, I,. W. Tittle, Clerk of
the County Court of Cherokee
Given under my hand and seal of
court at my office in Rusk, Texas,
this 17th day of February, A. I?.
1908. h. W. TITTLE, Cl'k,
[skai.] Co. Ct., Cherokee Co
A Household Necessity
I would almost as soon think of
running my farm without imple-
ments as without Hunt's Light-
ning Oil. Of all the liniments I
have ever used, both for man and
beast, it is the quickest in action
and richest in results. For burns
and fresh cuts it is absolutely
wonderful. I regard it as a-
household necessity. Yonrs truly,
S. Harrison, Kosciusko, Miss.
WHY HE WON.
"Ah, my dear Mr. Briefless," said
Mr. Uardeash, seizing the young
barrister's hand and shaking it
warmly, "I am so immensely obliged
to you. That case tlie other day,
you know—I won it."
"Thanks," replied RrieflcM; "but
did I represent you?"
"No, my dear follow," replied
Uardeash; "you represented the
other man."—Illustrated Magazine.
J. M. CRAWFORD,
Tenders his professional services to
the citizens of Altoand surround-
ing community. Office in rear of
Allen & Williams' drug store.
gives her all she wants. I wish I
could say that—"
"Well," interrupted Mr. Yerner,
"why don't you, my dear? You can
talk just as big as she does."
Aroused by hearing b slight noise
on tlie floor below, Mrs. Jagway got
up, went to the door, and listened.
Somebody was stumbling over
the furniture in the hallway and
iwearing in a suhlued tone of voice.
"It's Kbeii'ver," she said, crawl-
ing into bcl renin.
W. J. WOOD
Painter, Paper Hanger
All work promptly attended to. at
right prices. ALTO, TLX.
A Safe Combination!
RKAD YOUR HOME PAPER
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Both Papers One Year for $1.75
No subscription can be accepted for
less than one year at this special
rate, and the amount must be paid
111 advance. Hand or send sub
scriptions to this office only
WE PAY CASH WEEKLY and
want more Salesmen; we offer con-
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1 1 with the LARGEST nursery the
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handsomest, most a.-curntc cata-
log ever Issued; it shows in color
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THE CHILDREN'S FAVORITE TONIC.
OXWAftC or IMIT*T'0f 0.
TWf IINUMI rfciru-lU ONkY BY
iolJflrd-S.ivi tv T.!r.!mcnt Co.
ALLEiJ & WILLIAMS
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McClure & McClure. The Alto Herald (Alto, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 12, Ed. 1 Friday, February 28, 1908, newspaper, February 28, 1908; Alto, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth213990/m1/8/: accessed August 21, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Stella Hill Memorial Library.