The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 11, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 15, 1920 Page: 3 of 4
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THE THRESHER. JANUARY 1*. 1930
For BngUsh 400.
Supporting the contention that this
Bolshevism is "oid stuff," consult Voi-
utnnia in Shakespeare's "Cartoianus,"
act four, scene one, line thirteen, to-
"Now the red petstiience strike aii
trades in Rome,
And occupations perish."
The most original excuse in the worid
for speeding was rendered in a Beau-
mont police court the other day. A
high school youth said he was "late to
prayer meeting and hurrying to get
there." And the queerest part of it all
is that the judge knew it was true and
iet him off.
"Expiain this if you can, my men,"
A puzzled fellow said;
"Why is a girl's hair auburn, when
Her brother's hair is red?"
A Chicago man slapped his wife be-
cause she objected to his powd'ering his
nose and she got a divorce. It was all
right, but he had a right to have been
beaten half to death while he was in her
P. S.—That's not the way a man is
supposed to get powder on his nose,
Soph—That Freshman's voice should
Fresh—What do you mean—wa-
Down Florida way one of Hagar's
children had been caiied before the pow-
ers that be on a charge of bootlegging
and an effort was being made to dis-
cover through the culprit the owner of
the "tiger," who was believed to be a
iady of coior in the neighborhood.
"Ben, " asked the State's attorney,
"Did you buy any whiskey front Mandy
on Monday night last?"
"Naw BUh," decidediy.
"On last Tuesday night then?"
"Not on Thursday or Friday night
"Now. Ben, I want you to think care-
fully. It mtty be to your advantage to
help us find out what we want to know.
Did you or did you not have any deal-
ing with this woman on Saturday
Ben paused before tepiying, piainiy
"Jedge," he anxiously inquired, "is
you stiii talking 'bout dat whiskey?"
Jim—envy the man who sang the
Maud—"Why, I thought he had a
very poor voice."
Jim—"So did I, but just think of his
Fish (to visiting reiative)—"And
this is my slime cap."
Relative—"Very interesting, indeed.
But er— wasn't yours piucked too
"Dad, what's a sociai scute?"
"Weli. generatiy speaking old man,
it's a piace where money is weighed."—
"What are ait these bionde hairs do-
ing on this vest you wore last winter?"
asked Mrs. Cay, as she held up the
article site was going to hang out to
"What arc they doing there?" re-
plied Mr. Gay. "Why, you were a
blonde iast winter, weren't you?"—Cin-
Too Much So.
"I haven't seen your son for several
years. He seemed then quite a prom-
"That's the proper adjective; he's
been sued twice for breach of promise."
Spate i s.
"What wiii the theatrical magnates
do when the bedroom farces have be-
"Weli, there's aiways the bath-
\o Figure of Spccch.
"Whiskey is a poison."
"Yes," reptted t'ncie Biii Bottietop.
"But it used to be a good deai siower
before they took to ntakin' it out o'
wood aicohoi."-—Washington Star.
Shoe on the Other foot.
A tourist traveling in the itocky
Mountains was introduced to an old
hunter who claimed to have kiiied no
fewer titan a hundred bears.
' Dtii," said the introducer, "this fet-
ter wants to hear some narrer escapes
you had from bears."
"Young titan," said Biii. "if ttiar's
been any narrer escapes, the bears had
"Cone to work in a boiter factory?"
"Thought you were going to devote
yourself to music."
"I am. What I'm after now is some
genuinely big jazz effects for tny or-
Fresh man—When are they going to
buiid a garage for that goat?
! 1 ,
Etectric monoraii crane;
for hoisting coat
shoe o/* rec/ c/(Ms
Note the smart civic pattern vamp—
JoeM)'? M a&f/us? /Ae proper ?ouc/t
?o /Ab smar/ Eng/tsA mo&/.
Price the pair ^ ^ t'nc/u<Ang /ax
TUFFLY & SCOGGiNS
5.24 MoM! .Slfeef
HOUSTON, TEXAS Ground /Yoor %ce Mi/e/
Motor-generator set mounted on crane
supplying power for !ifting magnet.
Electrically- heated g!u&- pota
are uaed in pattern shops
ated by a two-
brass from iron.
the Master Force in Manufacturing
THE marvels of electricity have revolutionized our manu-
i facturing industries. With belts and pulleys repiaced
by etectric motors operating automatic—almost human
machines, many a s!ow and tedious process has been elimi-
nated. The factory worker's task of yesterday is made
pleasant by his command of this magic power.
The Crane Company's plant at Chicago—electrical through-
out—is a mode! of industrial efficiency. !ts 10,000 horse-
power of driving energy is brought by three small wires
from a distant power plant. Then electricity drives the
machinery which handles the coal for heating, cuts the steel,
sifts the sand and sorts the material—in fact does everything
from scrubbing the Boor to winding the clock.
Such an institution is marvelous—superhuman—made thus
by the man-multiplying force of electricity. The General
Electric Company has been instrumental in effecting this
eV&Iution. First, by developing successful electric gener-
ating and transmission apparatus to furnish economically
this modem form of power. Secondly, through many years
of active co-operation with hundreds of manufacturers, it
haa mastered the art of applying the use of electrical energy
to a multitude of needs. And finally, through branch
offices and other distributing channels, its products are
made accessible to all.
a^isKs Company snysa
attached 1* hmp todMh
, tcosb* Hopf*
k\; i'' "
Hauling materials with train operated
by eiectnc automobiie motor*.
CAPITAL . . - - $ 2,000,000.00
SURPLUS . - . $ 500,000.00
DEPOSITS .... 3)7,000,000.00
Special Sale of Young
<?3 on J <% %^a/ues
They are at) new Hat*, in good
styles. that can be wont l'cr
Spring. Antony them is the
Light Weight Narrow Hand
fiat so popu!ar with college
young fellows; others arc silk
Utted; ntanv got d colors to
choose from: Brown, (<rc^n.
Gray and Pear). It's a timely
opportunity for you to buy a new
Hat at a saving. $5.00 and $6.00
<y/.50 /u// sAape Capg spec;'a/
927 Mason Building
TEXAS PHOTO SUPPLY CO.
]0tr TEXAS AVE.
Carter Buiiding Barber Shop
JOE P. HEtNRlCH, Prop. PHONE PRESTON 1833
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The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 11, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 15, 1920, newspaper, January 15, 1920; Houston, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth229844/m1/3/: accessed January 19, 2019), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.