The Rambler (Fort Worth, Tex.), Ed. 1 Wednesday, April 3, 1996 Page: 1 of 4
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Don't be fooled! This isn't a real issue of The Rambler, it's just...
April 3, 1996
— • |} — — •
Fort Worth, Texas
Photo by The Good King
'Erasergate' causes people to say, 'Huh?'
By John Lennon
An anonymous source in the
math department told The
Schrumbler that math students will
soon be required to equip their pen-
cils with triangular erasers, in addi-
tion to the erasers included on the
"This is going to suck," said
some blonde guy, who ran in terror
when he discovered he was talking
to a Schrumbler reporter. "Those
things are 'spensive."
"They always mess me up,"
said something. The conditions of
its anonymity required The
Schrumbler to not indicate whether
or not it was a human being.
A high-level administrator Who
would identify himself only as
"Vicki" confirmed the rumor by
writing his answer on a gum wrap-
per and pushing it to this reporter
while hiding his face with his hands.
See "Erasergate," page 1+1+1
The Rumbler Wesleyan
TEXAS WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY
Adviser and Student Publications Committee Chair:
Emperess Marian Haber
News Editor: Joan d' Arc
Arts/Ent. Editor; The Grey Lady
Features Editor: Belle E. Bouton
Snorts Editor: Paul McCartney
Photo Editor: The Good King
Photographer: lhart Trees
Luke Sky walker
Sir Walter Rat Icy
M Y Belle
Runs u ith Mouth
Advertising Staff!: Ring® Stan
Pholo by The Good King
Man, do I hate writing outlines. Nobody reads them anyway. I'm sure nobody's going to catch this.
1 could just write a bunch of garbage and nobody would eVen get mad. Hey, that's pretty cool.
-By Joan-il'Arc t
Yesterday at 3:35 p.m.. Dr. Michael Sewell, a professor of mass
communications, returned to his house in southwest Fort Worth and ate
a piece of poundcake.
Sewell arrived five minutes late to his 11:50 Tuesday/Thursday
communication law and ethics class. "He is usually a little late so we
weren't too worried," said Stephen English, failing law student.
After teaching the class, Sewell drove home. "There was little
traffic yesterday, so the drive didn't take too long," Sewell said.
Upon entering his house, he went into the kitchen and sliced a
piece of poundcake. "I took the poundcake, got a glass of milk and ate
it," Sewell said.
"Once 1 finished the poundcake I was surprised to hear the door-
bell ring," Sewell said. "It was my next door neighbor, with a court
Shaking his head in disbelief, Sewell continued, "My neighbor
claimed that my dog bit him. 1 told him, i don't have a dog.'"
The neighbor proceeded, to- prove that the dog was indeed
"I said, 'Well, he didn't bite you, then,"' Sewell said.
The neighbor then showed the professor his allegedly wounded
hand. Sewell protested, claiming that his dog hadn't bitten the man
that hard. .
The neighbor turned his hand to reveal that it was badly mangled.
"1 told him, 'Well, it didn't hurt you,' then I went back inside and
had another piece of poundcake. I guess it was because I was ner-
vous," Sewell said.
like, a contest
(heh heh heh).
check this out.
It's like, words
and stuff. Yeah!
By Paul McCartney
In an evening of duplicity, one
than stood alone last Saturday in the
Donunick Mastrangelo Look-Alike
Contest. Billy Clippers, 25. beat out
150 Mastrangelo look-alikes to win
the first annual contest.
Clippers, who hails from
Philadelphia, said he was happy to
win the award because.
"Mastrangelo is my favorite sports -
writer—as far as I'm concerned he's
the best there is."
Clippers writes for a local paper
in Philadelphia but claims that he is
nowhere near the writer that
"Forgive me if I don't
write as well as he does;
it's just great that people
think I look exactly like
him." he said.
One of the 149 losers.
Glenn Phicstesh. said. "I
think I look a lot like him.
but apparently, my head isn't big
Phiestesh said that Clippers so
closely resembles Mastrangelo that
if the original were to die. Clippers
could replace him if the Rumbler
staff wished to cover it up.
"Me could never replace his dis-
tinctive writing style, though—it's
almost musical," Phiestesh said
Got a Q-tip?
If you think we can't hear what you're saying, call The
Ri MBLER at 4871 or just bring it on over.
Opinions expressed in The Rumbler do not
necessarily represent those of the student
m faculty or administration (hut they
re those of the individual author.
The Rumbler. a yearly publication of Texas Wesleyan University, welcomes your view on any matter of public interest
(unless it's dumb). The Rumbler makes every consideration to publish iiuest stories, editorials and commentaries; however,
publication is limited by space, time, you know, all those cosmic things.
Fhc editor reserves the right to edit all submissions for libel and content (it's good to be editor). Submissions must be
turned in to The Rumbler office by Friday previous to publication date and be accompanied by a $10 bill. All submissions
must have a full printed name and signature: however, anonymity will be granted if requested (not!). Correspondence should
I ■ ' .
■ : ■ ■ ■ '
Attn: The Rumbler
1201 Wesleyan. yadda yadda yadda.
wWWtWBm ?,v '-
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Wood, Allison E. The Rambler (Fort Worth, Tex.), Ed. 1 Wednesday, April 3, 1996, newspaper, April 3, 1996; (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth287658/m1/1/: accessed October 19, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas Wesleyan University.