The Mexia Weekly Herald (Mexia, Tex.), Vol. 12, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 14, 1911 Page: 5 of 16
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
Yon cun HHVe money by having your
broken machine parts WKIjDBJl.) by tlie
THXAI WlCMtlNG CO.
Factory 3212 HBrriaburg St., orflco
1007 Mcanlan Bldat.. Houston, Texas.
Louis Kaminsky & Co.
(irricpi Iron Vnrd I I-1<1 xfn Orleans St.
Wholesale Dealers In
Scrap Iron, Met nls, Copper, Hrass Zinc
l.ead. Units. Old Hope, Rubber? Auto
Tires ami Inner Tubes, Mottles, Horns
lliinep, Junk, Etc,
Corner Elm A Harnood Sts.
New, Modern, absolutely IHre-
: iProof, hot and cold running r.
11 teslan water In every room.
Phone In each room.
RATES $1.00 AND UP.
Onr Scrap Book
Furniture Stored. Packed, Skipped
Hauling of Bafes, Machinery and
Freight a Specialty.
Tclepbooea 1ST. Fort Worth,
"Sherlock," said Mrs. Holmes,
who was looking over the paper,
"here's a story of a woman who
was rohbed on a street car in
broad daylight and yet the thief
got away nnstispccted."
Mr. Holmes said that he had
seen the item, but that it was
either a typographical error or
the story was pure invention.
"Why do you say that?" asked
"Look at the item again. It says
her purse contained $ioo in cur-
rency, does it not?"
"It says also there was a re-
ceipted bfll for a $5 hat, does it
"Well, no woman with $ioo in
cash in her possession would buy
a $5 hat."
P. W. Klttrell, I'res.
Artificial Mmbs, Braces.
Complete line Stump Socks.
80BH "an Jaelnto St.
nOl'STON', ... TI5XAJ
<Oal1aa' New Hotel.)
Furnished In Birch and Marble.
Capacious lobby. Artesian water Ex-
cellent service. In heart of city; con-
venient to street cars, Interurbans
fuss the door. Rates not too hlRh
or average business man or tourist.
Come and make yourself "at homa.'
V. S, MeCRA V, Proprietor
VW Commerce Street.
A Lop-Sided Lobster.
Burt Swor tells of a country fel-
low who was his companion in
his travels with the Montgomery
& Stone Red Mill Company, who
went into a restaurant and ordered
a lobster. When served it had but
One claw. Surveying it the country
"Here, waiter, this thing has
but one claw."
The waiter s^aid: "Yes. sir, I
done observed it. You see lobsters
is awful hard to fight and I reckon
lie done lost his claw in a fight."
As the country one pushed the
lobster away from him, he replied :
"All right, take it away and bring
me the winner."
A Plea for Mercy.
"Your first wife wishes to see
you," said the jailer to his evan-
"Dat bein' de case, boss," replied
Brother Spradley, who was in dur-
ance vile on the charge of bigamy,
"if yo' has any pity for a po' man
—vo' been mar'd a time or two yo'
se'f, isn't yo', boss?—well, den, if
vo' has any pity for a mizzerable
fellow-pusson, even if he is cullud,
for de Lawd's sake, sah, infawm
de lady dat I isn't in. Tell her T
isn't in, and tell it to her loud
and c^a'sc, if yo' please, sah 1"
Of Cast Iron. Malleable Iron,
Steel, Aluminum, Brasa. Copper,
anything, arty shape Automobile
parte repaired, or new onea fur-
" ' 1.
special eastings and patterns
In Brass. Bronze. Cooper. Alnml-
num. etc. Patents and specialties,
manufactured and developed. Oas
Engines, Pumps and Pumpln
r. fiend us sketch an
Machinery. fierTd us sketch PanS
description of what you want: we
can serve you.
THE BOICOURT CO.
1M1-19MI W. Railroad Ave.
Speaking to Willie.
Papa and mamma and son Wil-
lie were crossing the ocean. It
was their first voyage. Papa and
mamma were very sick, especially
papa, but Willie was well and en-
joying t'he trip hugely. Willie
I had done something for which his
; mother thought he needed cor-
| rection, but not feeling equal to
the occasion she turned to her
| "John," she said, "can't you
: speak to Willie?"
j Papa replied in a thin, weak
I voice, "How'dy, Willie."
WOOD & CO.
wa ALSO DO
Cleaning and Pressing
Foar Cent* Will Mall Ua Voar 1-at.
405 Mala at. Pora Worth. Texaa.
Tnr Felt, Red aad Gray Bulldog
Paper, rfteh and Coal Tar.
Write for fnll Mae of samples and
JOHN G. PUlMINO * BOWB,
STATION A. OAK WW, rajA!.
DIstssM Phone Cliff A
How to Improve It.
(General Grant has left behind
him no reputation as a humorist,
but he had a dry wit, nevertheless,
which was perhaps the more ef-
festive for being seldom used.
Ex-Senator Depew of New York
has related one instance of its
When Grant was President, a
delegation went to Washington
to see about getting an appro-
priation for dredging a certain
stream. They called on the Pres-
ident and tried to interest him in
"Let's see," said Grant, reflec-
tively, "didn't I cross that stream
in such and such a campaign, just
before we fought such and such a
"You certainly did, Mr. Presi-
dent," said the spokesman of the
The President was silent for a
moment. Then he said:
"T* remember that stream, but I
j think you're going the wrong
i way about to improve it. Why
don't you macadamize it?"
B. F. WYLY
HOISTING ENGINE8, CONCWtTS
MIXERS and CABLE.
1601-1503-1BOB Commero# StrMfc
FORT WORTH, TEXAS.
The Black Mammy's Retort.
A big black mammy was about
to step aboard a Texas & Pacific
train at a small East Texas town.
The train porter was standing be-
side the steps in blue uniform and
"Where is yo' goin'?" the train
"I'se goin' where I'se goin' an'
I likes for peoples ter mind dar
own business." *
"Let me see yo' ticket."
The black mammy looked
upon the black porter with su-
"Nigger," she said, and her
hand waved menacingly, "yo
a • N . • I • M
gUL UC IUWUUWI1C91 JUU oil IJIft I <111-
road," and with that she mounted
tlje steps and went inside.
A young man took his sweet-
heart to a ball. She wore her
party dress. As they began to
dance he noticed what he thought
was a raveling sticking out of
her sleeve. He tugged at it. It
came easi'y and during the re-
mainder of «he dance, having
started to wind up that raveling,
he kept enthusiastically at i<.
Next morning the" girl said to
"Maw, an awful funny thing
happened last night. You know I
went to the dance. Well, vhen
I got home and got ready for bed
I found my r.nion suit had dis-
"Let me k'<.s those tears away,"
he begged tenderly.
She fell intc hi« arms and ht
was busy fu the next few rr.o-
meics. And yet the tears flowed
"Can nothing stop them?" lie
"No," she murmered, "it is hay
fever, you know. But go on with
"What a Waste."
The following story is credited
to Governor Eberhart of Minne-
"Once, while traveling through
my state," said the Governor. "I
noticed m particular the grsar
amount of waste that was going
on about me. During the att.r-
noon I went into the dining car,
which was crowded, so I sat
down near one end of the car, op-
posite a fleshy lady, who, I pre-
sume, weighed at least 23c
pounds. As I looked past the lady
through the cat window I was
impress-id by the vast amount of
f.-irm machinery that was unshel-
tered and exposed to the weather
and coui j not help but remark:
"What a waste, what a waste!"
"The lad opposite tne faced mc
squarely and said, Mister, you
just mind vour own business.'"
One Irishman was once over-
heard ask'ng another Irishman
what was codfish aristocracy.
"Codfish aristocracy," answer-
ed Dennis, "is one ov them fel-
lows who can pin a dried herring
to his coat tail and think himself
A German Allegory.
On a recent trip to Germany
Dr. Harvey Wilson, the gov-
ernment's pure food expert
heard an allegory with reference
to the subject of food adultera-
tion which, he contends should
cause Americans to congratulate
themselves that things are so
well ordered in this respect in
the United States.
The German .tl eg. ry was sub-
stantia'/ as follows:
Four fk.'s, wh.'ch had rruii?
their way in'o a ce.ain pant.y,
deternr'nee' to have a fti.st.
One flew tn tl*e suf ar and ate
heartily; J ut *'> * n-ed, for the
sugar was luil of white lead.
The second chose the flour as
his diet, but he fared no better,
for the flour was loaded with plas-
ter of Paris.
The third sampled the syrup,
but his six legs were presently
raised in the air, for the syrup was
colored with aniline dyes.
The fourth fly, seeing all his
friends dead, determined to end
his life also, and drank deeply of
the fly-poison which he found in
a convenient saucer.
He is still alive and in good
health, That, too, was adulter-
eted.—Taylor Edwards. /
"Votes for Women."
There was a young woman named
Who a pullet once kept as a pet.
When it started to crow
She exclaimed, "Well, you
I've raised her a suffragette!"
—Grace McGown Cooke.
The Poetic Spirit.
"The poetic spirit is sometimes
contagious," says a well-known
;actor, whose services are fre-
quently enlisted in al fresco per-
formances. "Not long ago I was
witli a company rehearsing for
an open-air performance of 'As
You Like It' near Boston, and the
garden wherein we were to play
was overlooked by a rising brick
edifice. As we recited our lines,
the workmen continued their la-
"One afternoon, during a silent
pause in our rehearsal, I heard a
voice from the building exclaim
with the utmost gravity:
" 'I prithee, malapert, pass me
yon brick. '"
"I read of the terrible ven-
geance inflicted upon one of their
members by a band of robbers in
Mississippi last week."
"What did they do—shoot
"No; they tiej# him on the rail-
"Awful! And he was ground to
pieces, I suppose?"
"Nothing like it. The poor fel-
low starved to death waiting for
the next train."—-W. Dayton
Don't Throw Away Old Tires
NO NKJSD TO BUT NHW TIRES THIS FAL.L.
Now la the time to reinforce your present tires,
ao they will last out the season. Cute tire ex-
Senae In half. Skilled and experienced workmen
sine high-grade materials and the most modern
methods and equipment, enable ua to Insure sat-
isfactory result*. All new casing and tubes are
sold for currant prloea. Write ua about It.
TEXAS AUTO TIRE &
80S Has Jaelnto. I.ong Distance Phone Preston
I IMS. Houston, Texas.
FINE HARDWOOD FLOORS
I.eld over jour present floors. We send out expert workmen.
HOUSTON HARDWOOD rl.OOR CO.,
IDS Scnnlon Building, Houston, Texas.
Chemical Analysis and Investigation of All Kinds.
P. H Tilson, M. S.. Director and Chemist, Analytical and Consuting Chemlat,
Collaborating Chemist 1'. 8. Department of Agriculture, formerly Associate State
Chemist. Member Texas Cottonseed Crushers' Association. Corrospondenee So-
Itlfi1/* Mnln Street.
Alone in the Business.
"Phwat ahr ye doin' in here,"
said the policeman to the old
woman peddling apples in the
corridors of the state capitol.
"Don't ye know peddlers ahr not
allowed in here?"
"Plaze, sor. an' I'm only^try-
in' t' make an honest livin'."
"Well, if'Mhot's th' case, go
ahead. Sure, an' ye won't have
anny competition."—William A.
"The School with a Reputation'
high-grade Business College of Texas, Write for new catalogue. stntfM
ethor the Business, the Stenograph io or the Combined Course is desire®.
J 0Ul*VutT . w, — -
CAN C0?*HALIV j
L1717 Commerce 5 rT~~~
SAM D. DEALEY
DALLAS, TEXAS PHONE 0O34
Buy Dallas Real Estate and Hold It
Knows Whit He Wants to Say.
An Italian had a hedge of beau-
tiful sweet-peas. All summer he
was asked for them, until he grew
tired. Then h(* erected this sign:
No Aska for Peas
Nota for Pick.
Justa for Look.
Had 'Elm Again.
A company of motion-picturt
actors and actresses gave a per-
formance of "Chantecler" on the
grounds adjoining the suburbai
studio of a film-manufacturing
company. A little latef one of the
actors, out for a walk, came upon
a man seated by the roadside and
"What's the matter?" inquired
the sympathetic player.
"I'm one of the patients at the
sanitarium for bugs Over yon-
der," exclaimed the despairing
one. "Yesterday the doc said I
was well—boo-hoo—and that I
could leave in a day or two. And
what do you suppose 1 saw this
morning? Roosters and hens six
feet high and talking just like
humans! If I get away from the
sanitarium in two years, I'll be
doing mighty well." — Glenn
Red Haired Girls Energetic.
A Liverpool paper lately con-
tained this interesting bit of com-
ment on red haired women:
"One of the largest stores in
America recently advertised for
'red haired girls' to take charge
of the luncheon room. When ask-
ed the reason for this the manager
replied: 'Because the red haired
girl is more optimistic, energetic
and adaptable than any other kind
of girl. She is generally gifted
with a clear complexion, and is
always the picture of neatness. No
one ever heard of a lazy red-hair-
ed girl, She is quick witted and
Icheerful, and all men particularly
appreciate these qualities.
Arthur, Texas, and New York, N. Y.;
lubricatin* oils. 84,056, 84,057, 84,058,
Messrs. Spellman & Murray, Patent
Attorneys of Dallsr.. Texas, announce
the Issuance of tin following patents
to the residents of Oklahoma for the
week ending October 31, 1911.
Baxter, Daniel N., Ardmore, Okla.,
assignor to D. N. Baxter, Trustee,
Wichita. Knnsas; fifth-wheel for mo-
Gormon, .Tames S., Oklahoma, Okla„
McGowan, Henry B.. and A. ,T. Hur-
ley. Okla., show-string fastener.
Famous Patriotic Sayings.
I only regret that I have but
one life to lose for my country.—
I am not a Verginian, but an
Both regiments, or none.—
| Samuel Adams.
Don't give up the ship.—Cap-
tain James Lawrence.
Let our object be our country,
our whole country, and nothing
but our country.—Daniel Web-
I have heard something said
about allegiance Jto the South.
I know no South, no North, no
East, no West to which 1 owe
any allegiance.—Henry Clay.
First in war. first in peace, first
in the heart of his countrymen.—
| We must all hang together or
assuredly we shall all hang sep-
To be prepared for war is one
of the most effectual means of
preserving peace.—George Wash-
Let the minstrels sing as my
THE SEASON'S CRAZE
IN A "DAVIS"
To wear telescoped. Crease crown or
snap brim. Black—Blank Mlxe. d—
Brown Mixed—(Ireen Mixed—Gray Mix-
ed—Red Mixed—Walnut Mixed- Pearl
Mixed. Ask your dealer to show you
S. G. DAVIS HAT CO.
DALLAS, TKX AV
Write for C *r l<>'v'
Messrs. Spellman & Murray, Patent
Attorneys of Dallas, Texas, announce
the Issuance of the following patents
to the residents of Texas for the week
ending October 31, l#ll:
Blain, Frank A., and C. O, Hehn, Fort
Worth, Texaa, continuous oil press.
Chlsholm, Jesse C., Dulda, Texas, re-
fining crude cotton seed oil.
Clark. Edward £>„ Evergreen, Texas,
Dooley, Robert M„ Rockland, Texas,
Frledmann, Bernhard Z., assignor of
one-half to A, Simon, Fort Worth,
Texas, watch charm.
Harrla, Bobt. M., and W. Ij. Bottoms,
Beyers, Texas, wrench.
I.ehmann. Hugo, Waco, Texas, lamp
Mace, Tine H, Clarendon, Texas,
Hlpos, Alfred M„ Mobeethi, Texas,
Tatum, Franklin Teveha, assignor of
three-fourths to 3. P. Clesorvyn, Nacog-
doches, and one-fourth to D. B. Mor-
ris and H. E. Morris, Shelly county,
Texas; vehicle wheel.
Williams. Wlnfleld B„ Waxahachle,
Texas, contamln hoder^
Ti"\rs Co.. Tbr>. Houston and Port
FARMS AND RANCHFS for SALE
45 ACHES, GOOD SANDY LAND PLACE; 85
In ciiitirutlon, 5 acres gra?i*. 5 tcret ttmb«r;
3-room house: jrrwi oreh«r<5; good well water at
the iioiifie; on public road, mail route; only $18
per acre; |30n en*h, balance 1100 per year.
;w> h'tos, nice lerei ian<i, iu cuiriranon, j
.t<*rew timber, S acres good grass; right at
small town oi **
small town on railroad; price $000, $230 cash,
48 acres 9 miles from Fort Worth for $20 per
acre: $l.r 0 cash, balance easy payments.
IrtO acres miles from Forf Worth at $28 per
sere; 1W acr^s In cultivation.
We will tak * horses, mules or cattle as part
payment on ee\eral fsrma we have. Write for
farm list. Lewis Morrts. 4lfUfe Ms In St., Fort
ONE HUNDRED ACBCS, FOURTEEN"
miles from Ft. Worth. Sixty acres
In cultivation, three room houpe; two
springs. Porg-aln $25.00 per acre.
have poveral small farms we can sell
on very easy terms. Also bargains In
Ft. Worth residences. We only handle
bargains and will not wasts your |time
showing you fakes.
C. P. KXOTT. Ft. Worth and Dixon.
1 unll qtvc nou u'hal
~ 4tou UAitri —
When pon u>anj ij
V If* 'in ntwij.of Cuts
y .'Midi a* Oci r loons, k el U: p |
i i?*41 C/uls -Wt ntc hcrir
. . ]r.7Di uJw. . ;.ff YJ;-
Jlij jiridtatl qh«l pii-rnipl -aUcnlton t ? j
. • v Mivvit ii1 rikjif ordcr^. i
For Store*, Residences and all kinds of
Buildings; easy to put up and operate;
mad* of the best materials. Write for
Also awnings and ourtatna for sleeping
J. P.Scott Company
100# Texas It. Fart Wortk, Texaa
C C. WENZEL
•1*1 Texas At*,, ffonstnii, Texaa.
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Houx, N. P. The Mexia Weekly Herald (Mexia, Tex.), Vol. 12, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 14, 1911, newspaper, December 14, 1911; Mexia, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth302362/m1/5/: accessed August 23, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Gibbs Memorial Library.