The Cass County Sun (Linden, Tex.), Vol. 57, No. 46, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 15, 1932 Page: 3 of 8
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THE CAS8 COUNTY SUN
Fable of Link's One
By GEORGE ADE
(©. B«U Syndicate.)—WNU Servlcn.
ONCE there was an Inilutttrlal
Slave whose Name did not ap
pear In the History of his Own
Times, tie cut no, let except
that he added a Grand Total of 1 to
the Census Total. He was Just an
other I'assenger on the Trolley and
another l'ny Knvelope on Saturday
night and another Vote to he rounded
up by the Precinct Captain. He was
known to the Folks living Next Door
and the Foreman remembered him
from one Week to another and that
Is as far us his Fame ever spread. He
wore Overalls and carried a Lunch
Pall wit'i a Cup inverted on the Top#
and pulled at a stubby Dudeen* which
was about all of the Biographical De-
tails available. Except that, being a
Namesake of the great martyred I'res
ldent, he was commonly know as Link.
Nothing ever happened to him until
he died and then he received as much
worshipful Attention as ever was ex-
pended on a Crowned Head. He may
have been a Mutt while he was breath-
ing but the Moment he became cold
he was a Prominent Citizen.
When he joined the Majority the be-
reaved Helpmate consulted the Bank
Book, which showed a stingy Balance
of $534. There was an unpaid Bal
ance on the House and a Doctor Bill.
Germany was well off as compared
with Link's Family. However, a Sick
Benefit had accrued from the Union.
So the poor bereaved Widow began
to make arrangements for the Obse-
quies. She took all she had In sight
and went Into Debt as far as they
would let her go and gave his Nobs
one Whale of a Fare-Ye-well.
While Link was here He and the
Missus used to go to the Mat about
once so often. In fact, they averaged
about three Armageddons a Day, with
the Issue always in doubt, but the Mo-
ment he cashed in, she remembered
him as a Male Turtle Dove who did
nothing but Coo.
He was a Tough Bird while he had
his Health but the Minute he breathed
his Last he was Snow White.
Alive and Kicking: Dead—Can't Kick.
As soon as they began making the
Arrangements it occurred to her that
they did not have, in the principal
high-priced, aristocratic Cemetery, a
Lot which was In keeping with the
Social Prominence and Imminent Vir-
tues of tin Deceased.
So she sent for one of the Trustees
of the Graveyard and he let her have
a small Tract of Ground on a High
Spot, commanding a good view, and
all he charged her was about four
times what she would pay for lund at
the corner of Fifth Avenue and 42nd
After that she called In the Under-
taker, who is a great help on such
Occasions. He had a very beautiful
Catalogue showing the different kinds
of Caskets which might be purchased,
lie showed her some of the cheap ones
but he very frankly admitted that
possibly some of the Wood had Worm
Holes in it and the Handles were not
Sterling Silver, and, although he didn't
«uut io iiiiiueiice her in any way, he
suggested that she could not get any-
thing which would be worthy of the
Dear Departed unless she picked out
something in the Back Part of the
The Widow must have been in a
very Sentimental Mood when she
picked out the Metal Casket that let
down In front, the same as a Kitchen
Cabinet. It had a lot of Puffed Satin
and was guaranteed to stand up and
remain In Good Condition for n great
many Years, which didn't make any
Difference, but the Widow fell for it
just the same. She wanted Link to
have the Best of everything.
While he was alive, she would hol-
ler until you could hear her a Block
away If he bought a Collar Button
that cost as much as HO Cents, but now
that he was gone and had become one
of the Angels, let us hope, she couldn't
think of anything too Kecherche for
him. So she ordered the kind of Cof-
fin which Is favored by New York
Millionaires and when she heard the
Price was Fight Hundred Dollars she
wasn't feazed a trifle.
Then the Undertaker took up with
her the Important Matter of how they
should attire Link before spreading
him out. He said that the neatest and
niftiest and slickest Costume for a
Gentleman of Standing was a Tuxedo
with Pearl Studs and Patent Leather
Dancing Pumps. Than which nothing
could have been more appropriate for
Soprano Tried for Distance.
lie not only never had worn a Lew
Cody outfit but he never had seen one.
What is more. It would iinve required
n Posse of very determined Men to
get Link Into a Tuxedo but, of course,
they had him counted out and lylnti
Horizontal and the Widow was having
her own Way. so she ordered, at a very
high Price, ■ very beautiful Begalla
suitable for one wbo Is going to at-
tend .a. Dinner Dance at the Ultz.
After they got Link Into the Nobby
Outfit It would be unrulr to tell yot)
that he looked different. If he ever
appeared at the Uutes of Heaven In
the Masquerade Costume there is a
Question as to whether or not Saint
Peter would have Identified him from
the Description which had been re-
ceived In Advance.
Quite a Question arose as to where
the Funeral Services would be held.
It would be necessary to have a
Preacher and it was customary to
break into a Church. It just happened
that Link had not attended Church
for something like a matter of 28
Years and he had no Sectarian Adul-
ations that anyone remembered, but
his Wife happened to think that one
of his Aunts had been a Methodist,
so they fixed It up and had the Meth-
odist Minister come over and he looked
at the Remains and secured a few
Data from the Bereaved Helpmate and
by the time he got through Link was
almost a Methodist In Good Standing.
The Pastor and the Undertaker told
the Widow that it was customary, If
you wanted to have a real Swell Fu-
neral, to have some singing and that
a good Soprano who was guaranteed
to usher the Departing Soul right in-
to the Blissful Beyond would bring
about 50 Dollars.
Link's Wife said that nothing was
too good for Him so they hired a near-
opera Singer and she did three Obli-
gatos at the church, her Idea evident-
ly being to let them know In the
World Beyond that Link was on his
way, because she certainly was Loud.
Fortunately Link could not hear her
and did not know what it cost, so ev-
erything was all right.
Roping In the Relatives.
It seems that the Importance of a
Funeral nowadays Is gauged by the
Number of Motor Cars which follow
the Motor Hearse out to the Cemetery.
All you have to do to get a Motor
Hearse is to buy it and use It once
and then give It back.
Link's wife wanted the Funeral to
be a Heal Success so she engaged all
of the Automobiles from three Ga-
rages and had them lined up in front
of the Church, so that all of the
Mourners could get a Free Uid'e out
to the Cemetery, with the result that
a great many People who never had
heard of Link rode out and stood be-
side the Open Grave and cried like
We must not overlook the fact that
Death Notice.-, had been Inserted in all
of the Newspapers nearby and that
Mrs. Link had sent for Link's Broth-
er, who lived five hundred miles away
and had paid his Railroad Fare and
had bought a new Suit of Clothes so
that they would let him enter the
Church. All of this helped to whoop
the Expense Account but there Is one
time when a Sentimental Woman will
not balk at Expenses and that is when
she is planting the Beloved.
It certainly was a most successful
Funeral. Link's wife sent Flowers in
her own name and in the Names of
all of tlie Relatives who were not pres-
ent. Link looked simply wonderful In
his ballroom Costume and the Preach-
er talked about him until almost any-
body could nelieve that Link amounted
to something and the Soprano did her-
self proud and the Parade was about
four blocks long and the Assembly out
at the Cemetery looked like a Mass
After it was all over, the Widow
neld a Consultation with the Children
and checked up on the Family Budget.
They had no Assets in sight but there
were quite a number of Bills.
The Widow said, by way of Expla-
nation, "It looks as though we would
be .broke for the next twenty years,
but you must admit that we gave Papa
quite a Send-Off."
MORAL—If people arc overlooking
Bit of Early History
Nicholas Disbrowe, Joiner, who
"made the earliest piece of American
furniture ot proven origin," held the
oflice of chimney viewer in 1(547 and
again in 1055, 100.'!, and 1001). lie
must have been good at it. in 1005,
lie did more "sighting" as'surveyor of
highways. He served, too, in the
Peqiiot war, for which service he was
given fifty acres of land. Nicholas,
with all these good deeds to his credit,
is reputed to have been charged with
witchcraft, but tills was due as the
story continues, to a dispute over a
Very little Is known of the origin
of accounting as a profession. The
first association of which there Is rec-
ord is the Colleglo del Raxontili, found-
ed at Venice It) 1581. Professional ac-
countants probably existed In Milan rit
an early date, as the government estab
llshed a scale'of charges for them In
1742. The first Scotch professional nc
countant was George Watson, born In
Fdlnburgh In 1045. In 171HJ the British
directory listed five. The first formal
recognition given to accountants In the
United States was In the laws of New
York In April, 1800.
LOAFING HEN NOT
WANTED IN FLOCK
Watch for the Slacker and
Discovering the hens that aro loafing
and are not paying for their board is
an easy task If a few simple rules are
followed, asserts P. B. Zumbro, spe-
cialist In poultry for the agricultural
extension service at the Ohio State
university, co-operating with county
Whether pr uot a hen is in produc-
tion, he says, may be determined by
examining the vent, pubic bones, comb,
wattles, and ear lobes. The vent of
a laying hen is enlarged, soft, pliable,
moist, and free from yellow color.
That of a hen out of production will
be dry and stiff.
The pubic bones of the faying hen
are wide apart, usually the width
of two or more fingers, compared with
the close-fitting bones of the non-pro-
ducer, which are no farther apart than
the width of one or two fingers. In
the laying lien there is considerable
depth between the rear of the keel
and the pubic bones, usually the width
of two or more fingers, compared with
the one-or-two-finger width of the hen
out of production.
The comb is large, full, and of
glossy appearance in the case of the
pullet or hen about to lay. This
condition lasts, as a rule, until the
peak of production. Toward the end
of production it loses its gloss and
prominence, and although still red, it
appears limp and wilted. The comb
of a hen that has quit laying is small,
contracted, dry, and usually covered
with a white scale or dandruff. The
comb, Zumbro adds, is one of the best
external characters to indicate non-
production in hens as they are ob-
served in the pen or yard.
All breeds and varieties of chickens
may be culled on the basis of these
factors, he points out. However, pig-
mentation is another characteristic in-
dicating whether or not birds are lay-
ing. Birds of the yellow skinned va-
rieties, such as Leghorns, Rocks, Reds,
and Wyandottes, show yellow color in
the beak, skin, and shanks before they
start laying. It is similar to the yel-
low in the yolk of the egg. The col-
oring material is provided by the feed,
largely from yellow corn and the
green, leafy parts of plants. When
the bird starts to lay, the coloring ma-
terial in the feed Is used for coloring
yolks of eggs, and the amount that has
been stored In the skin, beak, and
shanks is gradually used up. Tills
constitutes a fading or bleaching
process, the extent depending upon
the number of eggs produced.
Cost of Layers' Feed
Under normal conditions It takes
7.2 eggs to pay for the cost of feed
for a pullet during the pullet year,
figures supplied by the Dominion ex-
perimental station at Lennoxvillle,
Que., show. This figure is arrived at
from an average of 12 years' results.
The number of eggs required to pay
the cost of feed per bird varies with
prevailing market prices from year to
year. During the period of the report
it has ranged from as low as 50 eggs
in 1022 to a peak of 00 in 1028, while
it took 51 to pay the feed cost in 19.11.
When, eggs are cheap feed is, usually,
correspondingly cheap. This year
feed is cheap in localities enjoying
fair crops. Possibly the egg value
of a pullet's feed will be less than the
Canning old roosters is the best way
to dispose of theui this year.
• * •
The most common troubles with lit-
tle chicks are those due to crowding
und contaminated soil.
In handling ducks pick them up by
the neck rather than by the legs,
which are apt to break easily.
A new-laid egg is said to be about
00 per cent water, and If the birds
cannot obtain enough, the egg organs
are bound to suffer.
Pullets should be fed lots of grain,
Including some yellow coru, advises
Miss Cora Cooke, extension specialist
in poultry, Minnesota university farm.
• • •
Ducks lay their eggs In the morn-
ing and should be confined until 0:30
a. m. The average I'ekln duck lays
from 100 to 120 eggs each season.
* * *
Proper care and feed prevents a
well-bred pullet from molting In the
fall. Plenty of feed wil not make tin
pullets too fat.
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Sometimes those who are "hard to
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The straight and narrow path has
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Banger, J. E. A. & Erwin, W. L. The Cass County Sun (Linden, Tex.), Vol. 57, No. 46, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 15, 1932, newspaper, November 15, 1932; Linden, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth341109/m1/3/: accessed April 23, 2018), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Atlanta Public Library.