The Normal Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 29, Ed. 1 Saturday, May 15, 1920 Page: 3 of 4

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NORMAL STAR
THE NEW THEATRE
Friday & Saturday, May 14 & 15
MARY PICKFORD
—IN—
“POLYANNA”
Monday, May the 17th
BESSIE BARRISCALE
-IN-
RECKONING ROADS”
Wednesday, May the 18th
MARGUERITE CLARK
—IN—•
“LUCK IN PAWN”
THE
MAJESTIC THEATRE
Friday & Saturday, May 14 & 15
BILLIE BURKE
—IN—
“SADIE LOVE99
Her work is at all times a pleasure and in
this comedy-drama she is at her best.
Monday, May 17th
“JUBILO! JUBILO! JUBILO!”
This picture is being' shown by
special reque-t for the students
A. B. ROGERS
FURNITURE CO.
COMPLETE HOUSE
FURNISHINGS
Undertakers and Embalmers
San Marcos, Texas
WE INVITE YOU
to call at the
Parlor “R
In Post-Office Block
ELECTRIC MASSAGE and
ELECTRIC HAIR CLIPPER
Give us a trial
FRANK BYLER, Prop
YOU ARE INVITED
TO ATTEND
SERVICES
AT THE
METHODIST CHURCH
TOMORROW
J. W. GANTT
Oil, Real Estate, Insurance
HARRISON & MERRILL
JEWELERS
PHYSICAL EDUCATION DEPART-
MENT TO OFFER NEW COURSE
LIFE
Rumor has it that Coach Strahan,
ably assisted by Miss Hines, will,
during the summer term, establish
under the auspices of the Depart-
ment of Physical Education a course
in Anesthetic Dancing. According
to leading medical specialists the
sport in question develops a certain
muscle, the Esophysoreaus, and it
is positively essential to have a good,
active Esophysoreaus if one wishes to
become an eff.cient school teacher.
A committee is now working ou:
a schedule for classes and is making
plans for an intercollegiate team.
Lively competition is expected for
places on the team and any young
man in the Normal with a general
average of D is eligible. Perkins,
Bachle, and Pinckney Landrum have
already announced their intention of
returning in the summer to take up
this hitherto sadly neglected part of
their education in an attempt to en-
hance the charms they now bear for
the feminine eye. If you are in-
terested see Coach Strahan or Miss
Hines.
❖ * * ❖
A LITTLE ADVICE
The following extract from a letter
was found on the campus, and as the
identity of the writer is not disclosed,
we feel free to publish it in the hopes
the suggestions therein will prove
beneficial to certain readers:
.......... is growing to a lengthy
epistle and the hands of the clock
point dangerously near to twelve so 1
must close. Now if you’ll just make
use of the little tips I’ve given you as
how best to profit by the individual
eccentricities of each of the instruc-
tors up there I’m sure your life will
be a bed of roses at S. W. T. N.
As a final admoratLfl and guide re-
member, it’s as much as your life is
worth.
1. To talk in Chapel when
Prexy’s at the helm.
2. To say “dance” in more than
a whisper.
3. To “answer back” when a guy
waves from a car.
4. To use the phone for any in-
formation (?) other than tram
schedules.
5. To make a “two-some” with a
boy in swing.
7. To say “listen” when address-
ing the Dean.
8. To know out-of-town boys who
aren’t “cousins.”
9. To “park” longer than two
minutes in the corridors.
10. To ride in a “mixed” car.
11. To answer “present” for your
pal cutting classes.
12. To “doctor” the landlady’s
clock on Saturday nights.
» sR # =R
There are eyes of j brown and hazel;
There are eyes of .shining blue,
There are eyes that fill with con-
sternation,
There are baby eyes and wise eyes
too.
There are eyes th it talk and eyes ol
sunshine,
There are eyes pathetic with a plea,
But the eyes that raise me up to
heaven
Are the eyes that speak of love for
me.
sR % =R >R
Some poets rave about the “one hoss
shay”—
Others about a little birch canoe—
Some folks can sit and write all day
About a ride on a steamboat too.
You’ve heard of “trolling Down a
Shady Lane”—
Where he called her his sweet heait
true,
But the thing that beats ’em all, from
cycle to train,
Is a little Ford; just room for two.
$
A Domestic Comedy:- the trouble
of the couple in the next apartment.
A Domestic Tragedy: the troubles
in your own apartment.
Part
1
Their eyes met.
Part
2
Their hands met.
Part
3
Their lips met.
Part
4
Their souls met.
Part
5
Their lawyers met.
* * >R *
ECONOMICAL
Wife
‘The tailor said he couldn’t
$125,
make the gown for less than
so I told him to go ahead.”
Hub: “Why in the world didn’t
you consult me first?”
Wife: “I didn’t want to spend a
nickel telephoning, dear.”
>R >< sR
“OOF”
“Do you believe that heat causes
anger?”
“Yes, did you ever put the lighted
end of your cigar in your mouth?”
*R iR ;R >R
“Run outside, Willie, Father is go-
ing to try to get central.”
❖ sR * >R
He: “Do you know the difference
between an inveterate gum chewer
and an inefficient mechanic?”
She: “No. What is it?”
He: “Well, one works the gum,
and the other gums the work.”
*R sR :R
Little Girl: “Mania, do movie actors
30 to heaven?”
Mother: “Yes, dear, if they are
good.”
L. G.: “Will Charlie Chaplin go
there ?”
L. G.:. “Won’t God laugh when he
comes in?”
❖ X >R >R
HER GUESS
Mrs. H.: “Why did Abou Ben Ad-
hem’s name lead all the rest?”
Laura Frances: “I guess they must
have arranged the names alphabeti-
cally.” i
>R ■< * sR
THE LIMIT
One wife has to.oed the bitter
truth home to us at last. The mice
in her kitchen are on a strike for a
better grade of cheese.
❖ * >R >R
Percival: “I always sleep with
gloves on—that’s what makes my
hands so soft.”
Jack: “Do you sleep with your hat
on too?”
❖ $ $ 3c
WUFF
“A husband leads a dog’s life,”
quoth Mr. Gobb.
“Yes,” agreed Mrs. Gobb, "he
growls all day and snores all night.”
sR * sR sR
Just because a fellow’s pigeon-
toed and chicken-hearted doesn’t
say that he’s a bird.
-R *R -R -R
He said to her over the telephone
after his weekly visit: “Dearest, will
you marry me?”
“Why yes,” she said, “who is it?”
sR * :R >R
REGRET
Her lips were so near—
And I hadn’t the nerve.
Twas the chance of a year
(Her lips were so near).
She was angry, I fear,
And her scorn I deserve;
Her lips were so near
And I hadn’t the nerve.
jR IR «R *1'
She: “Jack says my mouth is the
prettiest he’s ever seen.”
He: “That’s nothing. i’ll put
mine up against it any day.
❖ sR * *
NEW PROVERB
It’s a wise wife who selects her
husband’s stenographers.
>r sR * >R
UNDUE FAMILIARITY
Cop (angrily to far motorist):
“The nixt time ye don’t stop at me
signal, I’ll pinch ye!
Fair Motorist (coloring): “Sir!
How dare you!
* * sR *
FRESH THING
“Are you familiar with girls!
“I tried to be with one once,
she slapped my face.”
GRAND
LEADER
Men’s Furnishings
Shoes for All
but
The Breath of Smart Hat*
For Commencement
and Summer
Wear
Mattie Watkins

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The Normal Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 29, Ed. 1 Saturday, May 15, 1920, newspaper, May 15, 1920; San Marcos, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth614389/m1/3/ocr/: accessed May 20, 2019), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas State University.

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