The College Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 13, No. 25, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 11, 1925 Page: 3 of 4
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THE COLLEGE STAR
Twinkles 1
Professor: “When I was a boy we
had mighty queer notions. One night
one whole village went up on a hill-
top and waited for the world to come
to an end.”
Frosh: “And did it?” — Purple
Parrot.
Talk is cheap until you start tel-
ling the wife how much you won.—
Moonshine.
She: “And after we’re married.....”
He: “What do you mean, married?”
She:' ‘Oh, Jack! How dare you hold
my hand if you aren’t serious!”—
Octopus.
Tom: “Why, in your will did you
specify that your body be buried at
sea ?”
Dick: “Because my wife says that
when I die, she’ll dance on my
grave.”
“Sir, I’ve never been kissed.”
“You tell a Grimm story, woman.”
—Log.
Eff: “Say, bo, what kinda licker was
dat you was drinkin’ last night? Ah
saw you lavin’ in da gutter.”
John: “Dat was what dey calls
‘duck licker’—two drinks an’ you don’t
care where you lays.”—Punch Bowl.
Night Watchman: “Young man, are
you going to kiss that girl?”
He (straightening up): “No, sir.”
“Here then, hold my lantern.” —
Black and Blue Jay.
“Have you heard about the new
mascot Sing Sing has?”
“No, what is it?”
“They have just procured a young
zebra.”—Froth.
Stranger: “Why is it that these au-
toists hereabouts don’t put out their
hands when turning the corners?”
Constable: “You see this is a col-
lege town and the young chaps ain’t
octopuses.”—Flamingo.
“Tight-mouthed? Say, that guy’s
so tight-mouthed he hasn’t even told
his parents how old he is.”—Dirge.
First Old Grad: “Smith never com-
pleted his education, did he?”
Second: “No, he died a bachelor.”
—Lemon Punch.
Romeo (below window, with saxo-
phone): “Hist, Jule, open the window
or I’ll play the darn thing.”—Tiger.
“What are you cutting out of the
paper ?”
“About a man getting a divorce be-
cause his wife went through his pock-
ets.”
“What are you going to do with it?”
“Put it in my pocket.”—Integral.
He: “Sorry I’m late, dear. I was
detained at a board meeting.”
She: “I expect they were.”—Goblin.
“Father Time is no gentleman.”
“How do you get that way?”
“He tells on women.”—Medley.
She: “In the tableaux I took the
part of Opportunity.”
He: “Did anyone embrace you?”—
Belle Hope.
Little Willie: “Uncle, does father
like to watch you play football?”
Rich Uncle: “What an idea! I don’t
play football.”
Little Willie: “Well, I heard father
say that whenever you kicked off he’s
going to quit work.”—Columns.
Defendant’s Attorney: “Have you
formed an opinion in this case?”
Prospective Juror: “No, sir.”
Attorney: “Are you prejudiced
against capital punishment?”
P. J.: “No, sir; I’d like to push the
switch myself.”—Pelican.
“I hear you had a blowout at your
house last night.”
“No, that was just a report.”—Mer-
cury.
Thin Lady: “You’re a coward—
you’re even afraid of your own sha-
dow.”
Fat Lady: “Well, why shouldn’t I
be? It looks like a crowd after me.”
—Sagehen.
The height of painlessness is a
splinter in a woodenleg.—Buccaneer.
--o-
TEXAS REPRESENTED AT
ATHLETIC CONFERENCE.
State Women To Attend National
Meeting in Illinois.
Austin, Texas, March 9.—Miss Jean
Holland, of Fort Davis, has been chos-
en by the Woman’s Athletic Associa-
tion of the University of Texas to
represent the University at the sec-
tional meeting of the Athletic Con-
ference of American College Women,
which is to be held at the University
of Illinois, April 3-4.
The Woman’s Athletic Association is
one of the most important organiza-
tions]! of girls at the University of
Texas. Hundreds of girls annually
fulfill the requirements for member-
ship by participation in sports, and
begin work for the awards of letters
and other emblems offered by the As-
sociation, for excellence in some form
of athletics. The Association is affil-
iated with the American College Wo-
man’s Athletic Association.
JACOB SCHMIDT OPENS STORE
• “Friends, with me, good-will is the
primary essential of merchandising. I
want your friendship, personally, and
for the store. To you I say: San
Marcos’ newest store will ever offer
you quality merchandise at quantity
prices, that our triple purchasing
power makes possible. The Jacob
Schmidt stores of Yorktown and Bee-
ville are leading merchandising cen-
ters of their respective cities. In a
like manner, through the same high
standards of courtesy, service, and
highest selling policies, we hope to
win your friendship and patronage to
the same high degree. Great was the
field for our selection, we chose San
Marcos among all other Texas cities,
as the one where people were respon-
sive to the high merchandising prin-
ciples that characterizes a Jacob
Schmidt store.”
Expectantly yours,
JACOB SCHMIDT.
ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ENTITIES
A—is for Addison
Sims of Seattle,
The “gent” who with memory’s
Vagaries does battle.
B—is for Bryan
Who’s aping the ape
In lack of intelli-
Gence, but not in shape.
C—is for cool,
Callous Cal, keeping calm—
Claims his attention,
And keeps him from harm.
D—is for Dome
Of tea-potish style,
All filled up with pork
And mid-western ile.
E—is for Edward,
Dave Windsor, no less,
The Prince of Long Island,
And Yankee “noblesse.”
F—is for Finn,
Paavo Nurmi, the run-
Ner, who’d lope from New
York to Chicago for fun.
G—is for Grantland,
“Dear Mr. Rice’
Please back the Elis,
They need your advice’,.
H—is for Harvard,
Of Puritan fame—
Who founded the college,
• And gave it it’s name.
I—is for me,
Who’s typing this drool,
Thus keeping my rep,
As the world’s darndest fool.
J—is for Johnson,
Or Jeffries or Jack,
With Jess as a fourth,
Will the next one be black?
K—is for Knut
Hamsun. For from a Shavian,
He reserves all the rights.
Plus Scandinavian.
L—is for Lucifer,
P. D. Q. Satan,
Who spends all his time,
A-hatin’ and hatin’.
M— is for me
The dative of I
I’ve met you before
But this time—goo-bye!
N—is for no one,
The much mooted zero,
The chorus girl’s pride,
The por valet’s hero.
0—is for Olaf,
The king of the Swedes,
That’s all we know—
About him and his deeds.
P—is for Peter,
The rock-base of Rome,
They made him a saint,
And gave him a dome.
Q—is for Qincy,
iEther Adams or Mass.,
One is a person,
The other a place.
(Poetic license: N.J. 03456)
R—is for Richard
Who called for a horse,
In exchange for his kingdom,
With no takers.
S—is for Samson,
The long-bearded brute,
Who fell for Delilah,
And got nipped in the lute.
T—is for Tut,
Who had to die twice,
For the sake of the future,
Let’s keep him on ice.
U—is for Ewe,
And Yew and You.
And just to be generous—
I’ll say, for U, too.
W—is for Wednesday,
A day of the week,
Of twenty-four hours,
That is, so to speak.
X—is for kisses,
You send to a Miss,
But sometimes it’s used,
To hide things, like XXXXX.
Y—is for Yumpin’
Yuminy Yee!
The Swedish for Jumpin’
Juminy gee’.
Z—is for zero,
A cagey old Greek,
And here’s where I leave you—
(Continued next week). —Tiger
---o-
A TREATISE OF GREAT PEOPLE
SAYS UNIVERSITY OF
MEXICO COMBINES PLEA-
SURE WITH KNOWLEDGE
Judge Landis is a very great man.
He is still alive. He throws the first
ball at world series games and tells
jokes. He is very nice and funny
and humorous. Dad says he’s crazy.
He was born in this country and is
old now. He gave sister a kiss and
a nickel plated umpire, but mother
made her give it to me. Gosh, he’s
funny!
Andrew Jessup is another great
man. He went to school when he was
three years old and was born above
the clouds. He had to walk ten miles
and one day he got lost. Now he is
a very famous man and everybody
cultivates him. His automobile has
license number 1.
Polius Nedick is an awfully great
man. He ran away from college when
he was a boy and lived in Russia. He
used to watch the canal boats un-
loading coal. He never thought then
that he, too, would some day be
famous. He went to Paris and invent-
ed orangeades and now he sells them
on Broadway and also Salt Water
Taffy.
Joseph L. Ray is the greatest man
in the world. He has twelve children
and lives in Chicago. When he was
seventeen he went to Florida Uni-
versity and got his degree. He was
soon famous and began to branch into
other cities. His fame is now tre-
mendous. He sleeps ten hours. —
Tiger.
See Our Line of
EASTER CARDS
and Novelties
If any American students desire to
go to summer school where pleasure
is profitably combined with the ac-
quiring of knowledge, he is advised by
John E. Cook, Spanish instructor, to
attend the summer session of the Uni-
versity of Mexico. Students are al-
lowed to register for courses under
Spanish and Mexican teachers regard-
less of whether they have had any or
not. The people of Mexico City do
all in their power to entertain Amer-
ican students and make them like
Mexico.
The summer session is planned par-
ticularly for American students. Clas-
ses are for the most part held in the
morning every day in the week except
Saturday. Afternoons and Saturdays
are devoted to excursions to the
mountains, to the Aztec ruins, to the
buried cities and to the pyramids
which are strikingly similar to the
more famous English pyramids. A
certain per cent of classes may be cut
so that trips to other Mexican cities
are possible.
Study Social Customs.
Since the university is located in the
heart of the city the student has an
opportunity to study the social and
commercial customs of the Mexicans
and learns to speak and understand
Spanish as he never could in Ameri-
can universities. The climate of
Mexico is delightful the year round,
the evenings being sufficiently cool to
make it necessary to wear a coat.
--o-
JUNTOS.
Our famous president, 0. L. Deitz,
is a staunch leader of our society. He
never wavers, and is always glad to
perform his duty. The Juntos are
proud to know that they have a pres-
ident who is as capable of filling the
office as he is. When it comes to par-
liamentary proceedings of our socie-
ty, he can not be excelled and we
boast of having the best president on
the hill.
Mr. Deitz entered school at the
opening of the fall term. He came
here with several honors bestowed up-
on him. In the Literary field he is a
genius. In debates and public speak-
ing he has won the loving cup for his
school the past two years, and for
athlectis he is right there. He has
not won a sweater, but remember,
sweaters wear out and knowledge
never does.
As two of the old Juntos, who were
holding offices at the opening of the
Spring Term have entered College, it
became necessary for the society to
elect officers to fill the vacancies. The
following were elected: Mary Duffield,
vice-president; Leola Kuhn, treasurer.
Both of these will fill their respective
offices with grace.
A very interesting program, con-
sisting of extemporaneous music and
readings, was rendered. One feature
of the program which was very unique
was rendered by Miss Leola Kuhn,
who played and sang “Doodle-de-Do.”
on the Ukelele, backwards. Miss Eliz-
abeth Francis favored the society with
one of her favorite readings. Several
extemporantous speeches were made,
which were very interesting as well as
educational. The society voted Miss
Ava Johnson as being the best speak-
er of the day. When the program was
concluded, a contest was held by the
program committee which aroused
much enthusiasm. Misses Adele We-
ber and Elizabeth Connally were the
winners.
Britisher: “I say, old top, who won
the world series?”
American: “The Yankees.”
Britisher: “Naturally; I—er—knew
that, but what was the name of the
blooming club”—Virginia Reel.
I DUKE & AYRES (
5c to 50c Store
HI FRESH CANDIES
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
Scarfs
Special Showing of
Easter Hats and
jjj New Arrivals of Gifts jjj
1 Mattie L. Watkins 1
Millinery—Gifts
resfmess
S'
THERE IS AN APPEALING
FRESHNESS
about the stylish attire of
Dainty Dorothy that attracts
favorable attention. And when
Miss Dorothy has given our
cleaning methods full credit for
the excellent condition of her
wardrobe, this establishment
basks in the spot light of her
compliments and we thus add to
our patronage. May we invite
you?
WA
Sc CO.
PHOJVE
43
BLOCK
MARCOS
L. L. L.s
The L.L.L.’s met in the little gym
Thursday afternoon at 2:30 for a good
time. The eighth grade furnished a
part of the program which was a
Trial of Mr. E. 0. Wiley for breaking
a window pane in Room 27. Mrs.
Blount, Luela Pool, Frances Lusk, and
Miss Bruce acted as the jury. They
decided that Mr. Wiley would have to
replace the pane with his own hands
and act as janitor of Training School
for the rest of the term. The next
number was a piano solo by Louise
Watson.
The ninth grade also furnished a
part of the program which was as fol-
lows: A piano solo by Darline Slaton;
a trial of Jack Parke for not being-
present at the meeting of the L.L.L.
on March 6. The trial resulted in
hung jury, so the case was dismissed
until 1930. The next thing went
smoothly until Baby Candy Lamb
cried and had to be taken out.
The business was then attended to
and an election of officers held. They
were as follows: Dan Harry, presi-
dent; Jack Parke, vice-president; Ma-
leta Gunn, secretary; Annie King,
treasurer; Luella Pool, critic and Ha-
zel Lewis, Star Reporter.
Last, but by no means least, was re-
freshments. Brick ice cream was
served and enjoyed by all.
COLLEGE TEA
GARRETT LITERARY SOCIETY
The Garrett Literary Society held
its regular meeting on April 2. Miss
Mary Lou Ratliff was elected Star Re-
porter to fill the place of Miss Myrtle
Smith, who was forced to give up her
office on account of entering college.
A very interesting one-act play was
given by Mr. Lawrence Lowman and
Mr. C. W. Barnett, entitled, “Moon-
shiners.” There were also several
very interesting three-minute talks
given. Inez Gilbert’s talk on, “The
Carving of a Granite Mountain,” was
voted to be the best.
SPANISH CLUB
The Espanoles Felices has awaken-
ed to the call of Spring. Both classes
of the Sub-College are planning to go
on a picnic to Wimberley next Satur-
day. In order to insure the commit-
tee that the occasion will be a success,
each student has voted upon himself
a twenty-five cent tax. A great, hil-
arious time is expected, and all the
Spanish students are urged to attend
the affair.
Be sure to come and bring your
Spring mate.
One: “So you tried to hold her
hand, eh? What did she say?”
Other: “She said ‘Do you like to
do that?’ So I said, ‘Yeh, why’?”
One: “And then ? ”
Other: “Well, she said, ‘I’m awfully
glad, because I’m always willing to
amuse children’.”—Swamp Angel.
-o-
People who live in glass houses
arouse suspicion by pulling down the
shades.—Chaparral.
I . For |
Fresh Fruit and
Vegetables
Call
AGNEW & COMPANY
Phones 265-266
ISMSMMEISMSM3I3MSMSMPM3M3MBM3
I NORWOOD'S TAILOR
I SHOP
Dry Cleaning Plant
ONE DAY SERVICE
I Phone 314 !
I i
GALBREATHS
Own
Home Made
ICE CREAM
Specials
PAUL C. MOORE
JEWELRY CO,
Everything in
Diamonds—
—Watches—
—Jewelry
School Supplies, Fountain
Pens, Sheet Music and
Magazines.
|| FOR PROMPT SERVICE
Q 7—PHONE—Q 7
01 NUMBER 5/
DOBBINS TRANSFER
COMPANY
Service Cars and Baggage
:::::
A goodly company of college and
academy students greeted the Rev.
Dubose Murphy at the College Tea in
St. Mark’s Episcopal church Sunday
afternoon. At the tea Mr. Murphy
told the story of Sir Galahad and ap-
plied it to the life of modern young
people. He said that the knights of
King Arthur followed the gleam of
the Holy Grail: the boys and the girls
of this day were unable always to
tell just what their ideals were, but
they also were following the “gleam”
and he believed that in God’s good
time they would reach their goal.
Just before Mr. Murphy spoke, the
ladies’ choral club sang a beautiful
number. After the address, refresh-
ments were served in the Parish
house. Ia was a joyous occasion all
around.
Mr. Murphy spoke again at the eve-
ning service at St. Mark’s. At that
time he discussed the mind of mod-
ern youth. He said that we needed
the mind of youth—we needed its op-
timism (one way to tell whether a
person is young or old is to see whe-
ther he is glad he is alive or not: all
young people are happy just to be
living), we needed its hope for the
future. If the world is to be saved,
said the speaker, it must be through
the young people. Yes, and we need-
ed its questioning attitude; when
things are wrong questions ought to
be asked. It was good to hear Mr.
Murphy. He is doing a fine work
among the students at the University
of Texas. We hope he visits us again.
It is hoped that the students at
the college are going to take more
interest in the college tea than they
have in the past. It is intended for
all the students, whether they be
Episcopalians or not. Its purposes
are these: (1) to give the students
of the city opportunity to hear men
who are interested in young people
and who have a message for them;
(2) to furnish a social hour on Sun-
day afternoon for those who will take
advantage of it; and, (3) to demon-
strate in a concrete way, how happy
the church is to have the schools of
teachers and of the academy here in
our midst. The next team is to be
the first Sunday in May at six-thirty.
We shall be glad to see you there.
--o-
“How are you getting along since
your wife went away?”
“Fine. I’ve reached the height of
efficiency. I can put on my socks
from either end.”—Bison.
Bond's Cafe
INVITES YOU TO
DINE WITH
THEM
Hi On East Side of Square ill
ill ill
SHOP
1 PARLOR BARBER
III
i
i
In Postoffice Block
FRANK BYLER
ffl...........................
JOE THE TAILOR
Prices Right
ijj CLEANING, PRESSING |||
III AND DYEING jjj
HI Work Guaranteed
Phone 99
Early Showing of
BRADLEY
1 BATHING SUITS |
For Men and Women
A Better Store for Men
s. s. s.
The S.S.S. held its regular meeting
Thursday afternoon, April 2. The fol-
lowing enjoyable program was ren-
dered: Song, “America, the Beauti-
ful,” by all; Reading, “Aunt Jemima’s
Courtship,” Lora Hicks; piano solo,
Adele Huvar; reading, Leta Goodman;
piano solo, Bessie Mae Church; vocal
solo, Jimmie Barnett; piano solo, Ag-
nes Lozano.
A vote of thanRs was extended to
Miss Wilder for the use of her piano
and letters of welcome were given to
the members initiated at the last
meeting.
CATTLEMAN DONATES
$50,000 TO ACADEMY
The most stirring passages ever
written are found in the Cook Book.
—Boll Weevil.
Through the efforts of Dr. L. J.
Mims, stewax-dship secretary of the
executive board of the Texas Bap-
tist convention, H. L. Kokernot, weal-
thy Baptist cattleman of San Anto-
nio, has given $50,000 toward the
building program of the San Marcos
Baptist Academy. Baptists of Saji
Antonio have underwritten $50,000
additional toward a total goal of $250,-
000. In less than a year Dr. Mims
has secured special gifts for the de-
nomination in excess of $200,000. His
salary and expenses are provided by
Mr. and Mrs. A. H. Murchison of
Vernon. The stewardship worker has
also aided some of the Baptist insti-
tutions of the state in special money-
raising efforts.
1!
|i Friends— |
| THUS FAR THIS YEAR we have enjoyed an in- |
Ijj crease in business amounting to eighty per cent |||
over the previous year, and we feel grateful to jjj
HI you for your patronage. ill
| Young Men— |||
| YOU WILL APPRECIATE an invitation to see jjj
our line of tropical worsted and gabardine suits jjj
HI —just arrived. I III
| Young Ladies— jjj
I WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED the latest in Silk jlj
Dresses—just the kind that you can appreciate jjj
for Easter . . . and remember in our millinery de- jjj
jjj partment you can match . . . the dress in the jjj
jji latest style hat. |||
jjj NO OBLIGATION TO BUY.
BREVARDS1
IP III
.....................................................................
{ PETTY BARBER SHOP
f East Side of Square
I 3rd door fro mFirst Nat’l Bank
| — where Hair Bobbing and Hair
t Cutting is Done the Right Way
Dry Goods
Shoes
Fancy Groceries
MUTUAL MERCANTILE GO.
:::::::::::::::::
3!
SAN MARCOS MAID
CREAMERY
Pure Pasteurized Milk Products
At Your Confectioners
State Bank & Trust Co.
Ill San Marcos, Texas II!
TEACHERS COLLEGE DEPOSITORY
GUARANTY FUND BANK
THE BOBCAT
‘<At the Brow of the Hill”
THE HOME OF
“MASTERPIECE”
Drinks, Toilet Articles a nd Stationery
GET THE HABIT
Specialties In
DRY GOODS, NOTIONS,
SHOES And CLOTHING
P. T. TALBOT & SON
“It pays to trade where
they pay cash.”
I
WE SPECIALIZE
-IN-
SCHOOL
SUPPLIES
C. T. BASS & SON
THE REXALL STORE
HAS ON DISPLAY an attractive line of EASTER CARDS,
BOOKLETS and CANDIES, in one and two pound packages.
WILLIAMS DRUG COMPANY
“The Place Where Most People Trade”
:::::::
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The College Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 13, No. 25, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 11, 1925, newspaper, April 11, 1925; San Marcos, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth614433/m1/3/: accessed April 25, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas State University.