Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 21, No. 40, Ed. 1 Friday, February 18, 2005 Page: 30 of 60

                                
life+stylebooks
The straight
seductress
Self-help author Jen Sincero guides straight women who are
curious about plunging into the same-sex pool
By Daniel A. Kusner Life+Style Editor
hen deciding to hook up with a
partner of the same gender, some
people either get bogged down
with sexual identity issues or
they just jump right in. And some do both, like
Jen Sincero, the hetero author of “The Straight
Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks" (Fireside).
“I had definitely fooled around with women
before. You know, made out or pulled out a boob
at a party. But I had never really gotten down
with a girl,” Sincero says.
A few years ago, Sincero and a close female
friend were sharing a hotel room. The timing was
right, so they enjoyed a night of unbridled pas-
sion.
What started as an adventurous fling evolved
into something more complex.
“All the sudden it was a relationship, and I
became a wishy-washy nightmare,” Sincero
explains. “I loved her, I loved the sex, and I loved
being with her. But I didn’t feel like I could fall
in love with her.”
So the fence-hopping explorer asked around.
Her younger pals — some of them bona fide les-
bians — encouraged Sincero to just enjoy the
ride. But her older friends could empathize with
Sincero’s self-torture.
“I was like, ‘What, at 36 I’m finally going to
decide that I’m a lesbian when 1 had never really
thought about it before? When I never really had
cmshes on women?’ It didn’t make a lot of
sense,” Sincero remembers.
The friendly fling eventually fizzled out. And
after some deep reflection, Sincero determined
that she was not a lesbian.
Sincero had also just released her debut novel,
“Don’t Sleep with Your
Drummer” (MTV
Books). And there was a
fascinating and sexy new
topic lying at her feet.
At first glance, the title
of “The Straight Girl’s
Guide to Sleeping with
Chicks” reeks of insensi-
tivity. But after cracking
the spine, Sincero’s
razor-sharp wit and
empowering text imme-
diately win readers over.
In the first chapter,
“Curiosity Didn’t Kill the Pussy— It Only Made
Her Stronger,” Sincero explains why women
have license to jump each other’s bones: Because
straight men think it’s hot! It’s a gross double
standard that actually benefits women.
The StrcwgM Gins Guide
to Sleeping witf« Chicks
FUN IN THE TUB: Dallas-bred artist Rembert Block’s
illustrations pepper “The Straight Girl’s Guide."
Later, in that same chapter. Sincero delivers a
sermon titled “Waking Up Your Inner Lesbo.”
She notes that some women fear an innocent visit
to Girl Sex City will manifest a desire to com-
pletely relocate. Sincero writes, “Anyone who’s
that uptight about liking it too much most likely
will. You need to first deal with a much larger
issue: that you are a weenie.”
Sincero never thought she’d become a go-to
girl for erotic advice.
In the ’90s, she kicked up some buzz as a cor-
porate slave at Sony Music who moonlighted as
the frontwoman for Crotch, an angry New York
rock band that was half-satire and totally funny.
In 1994, Comedy Central gave Crotch free
reign to make a high-production video. Sincero
hired ’80s hit-maker Adam Ant for a brief cameo
in her hilarious homage to construction workers
for the “Power Tool of Love” music video.
In the late .’90s, Sincero moved to
Albuquerque and started The Jenny
Clinkscales Band. With songs like
“S&M” and “F*ck Yeah,” the band
became a hit — in New Mexico.
After a move to Los Angeles,
Sincero wove her affairs with cor-
porate rock and alternative musi-
cians into the hilarious and
poignant “Don’t Sleep with Your
Drummer,” which was recently
optioned by HBO.
In gathering materials for “The Straight Girls
Guide,” Sincero surveyed about 100 women —
some lesbian, some straight — and collected
their candid opinions about sex toys, cunnilingus,
masturbation and coming out. To illustrate some
of the guide’s more graph-
ic details, there are photos
of cavorting Barbie-like
dolls and illustrations by
Dallas-bred artist Rembert
Block.
Most of the “Straight
Girl’s Guide” echoes a sex-
ual liberation that should-
n’t be denied.
“The majority of women
I spoke to said sex with
another women complete-
ly upped their self-percep-
tion. Being with another
woman makes you feel how hot your own body
is — you’re touching someone who has curves
and is just as soft as you,” Sincero explains.
But Sincero’s guide isn’t all flin and games. In
the "And Boy Makes Three” chapter, Sincero is
very clear about the
damage and vulnerable
emotions for couples
who embark on group
action.
“Sure, it’s standard
straight-guy fantasy
for two chicks to get
it on. But it’s a totally
different story when
they’re in bed, and
he’s suddenly not
included,” Sincero
says. “Things can get
messy. But that can
happen whenever you
put two or three peo-
ple in a room togeth-
er.”
Some lesbians haven’t been too receptive to
Sincero’s guide, which is to be expected. Rachel
Kramer Bussel, a queer critic for the Village
Voice, wrote to Sincero explaining that she was
expecting to be put off by “Straight Girl’s
Guide.” Instead, Bussel published a love-letter
review.
“At first, I was terrified to write this book
because f didn’t want to offend an entire popula-
tion of women. And yeah, I’ve definitely gotten
some attitude from lesbians. But I found once
they actually read the book, they’re completely
*
SHE DEVIL: Sincero makes an author appearance at Borders in the West Village on Feb. 25.
fine with it,” Sincero says.
Anyway, she says her book isn’t that earth-
shattering.
“Women are allowed to experiment. And
that’s because our entire sexual personae is dic-
tated by what the standard macho straight guy
think,” Sincero says. “The book that’s far more
necessary than mine would be ‘The Straight
Man’s Guide to Sleeping with Dudes.’”
Sincero reads and signs copies of 'The
Straight Girls Guide to Sleeping with Chicks ’on
Feb 25 at 7p.m. at Borders, 3600 McKinney,Ave.
214-363-1977.
30 I dallasvoice.com I 02.18.05