Honey Grove Signal (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 34, No. 21, Ed. 1 Friday, June 20, 1924 Page: 7 of 8
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The Touring Car
F. O. B. Detroit
and Sterte ‘ ^ extra
Helps millions enjoy
Ford cars will carry millions on healthful, pleasant vacations
this summer—vacations that are inexpensive because of the
low cost of maintenance of this reliable car.
Everyone wants a car for the outdoor months. That means, of
course, an unusually heavy demand for Fords. To avoid delays
and disappointment list your order now.
^v) Detroit, Michigan
KiH«M»h«'Mr$265 Ccupe$S2S Tudor Sedan $590 For dor Sedan $685
All prices f. o. b. Detroit
SEE THE NEAREST AUTHORIZED
... k? ^
. ri . -
THE UNIVERSAL CAR
You can buy any model by making a email doum-payment and arranging easy
terms for the balance. Or you can buy on the Ford Weekly Purchase Plan.
The Ford dealer In your neighborhood will gladly explain both plane in detail
r . d'
■ * £■/
A TEXAS WONDER.
For kidney and bladder trouble*
gravel, weak and lame back, rheu-
matism. If not sold by druggists, hj
mail $1.26. Small bottle often cures
Send for sworn testimonials. Dr. E
W. Hall, 2926 Olive Street, St. Louis
Missouri. Sold by druggists.
DR* L. B. STEPHENS
EYE, EAR, NOSE AND THROAT
6154 First National Bank Building
Phone: Office 218 F-l; Res. 218 F-2
DR. THOS. E. HUNT
EYE, EAR, NOSE AND THROAT
&6S-504 First National Bank Building
PARIS - - - TEXAS
DR. J. W. WHITLEY
Honey Grove, Texas
West Side Square
Phones—Residence 209; Office Sis
G. M. WHITLEY, M. D.
Office—Upstairs Pirtle Bnildiag
% East Side Square
HENRY R. SCATES, M. B.
* RHYMES. •
* - o
* By the World’s Greatest Rhyme- 0
0* ster—Wa A Mason 0
I drive my tumbril east and
west, as stately as a wedding
guest, and in my wide and bulg-
ing breast I hold the love of
man; if I treat others, I decree,
politely, as my weird I dree,
then others will pay fair with
me, and will not wreck my van.
So with the grace of Chesterfield
I drive my wagon, yellow-
wheeled, and I am always prompt
to yield when arguments arise;
I won’t dispute the right of way
or argue rules with any jay;
“You’re doubtless right, drive
on,” I say, serene, unruffled,
wise. If all the drivers were po-
lite when traveling by day or
night we’d seldom see a mangled
wight stretched out upon the
grass; but many delegates for-
get that courtesy’s the noblest
bet when once they grab the
wheel and set their feet upon the
gas. They’re always prone to
take a chance, like streaks of
lightning they advance, although
there is no circumstance tha
calls for frantic speed; along the
dusty road they rack; let other
fellows clear the track—and then
a hearse severe and black bears
off the forms that bleed. And
oftentimes the speeding skate,
the frenzied, deadly delegate,
has manners truly fine and
great, when from the gas afar;
when he’s afoot he’s kind and
mild, he would not injure man or
child, he only shows us conduct
wild when he is in a car.
' EYE, EAR, NOSE AND THROAT
Rnom 208 State Bank BmMiing
telephone 198 BONHAM, TEXAS
St Mark's Church Episcopal
Sunday school at 10 a. m,
Morasmg service 11 o’cleek.
Guild Monday at 3 p. mu
Signal $1.50 a year in advance.
Signal and Dallas News, $2.25.
Old and Young.
The young are mostly well and
strong* their lives are like a
grand sweet song, they’re righ
side up, there’s nothing wrong,
they’re seldom sick or sore; and
so the grandsire in his chair,
who talks of corns and falling
hair, and aches and pains beyond
compare, becomes to them a
bore. Youth has no patience
with the wails of those who have
ingrowing nails, who soak their
feet in steaming pails, rheu-
EARL P. PRICE LIFE AGENCY
Southland Life Insurance Co.
Honey Grove Office East Side Square
matics to allay; youth wearies of
the mournful wheeze of ancient
men with spavined knees who
talk forever of disease, from
dawn till close of day. And so
too often grandad feels, as he
rubs mustard on his heels, that
there’ll be glad and joyous spiels
when he is dead and gone; he
thinks the children wildly yearn
to see his ashes in the urn, or
see him planted by the burn that
babbles past the lawn. The chil-
dren are not so unkind, but they
for laughter were designed; his
melancholy frame of mind gets
on their nerves, ’tis true; they
would not have him bump the
bumps, but wish he’d quit dis-
cussing mumps and wens and
other grievous lumps, and gout
and Spanish flu. With aches
and pains I’m loaded down, they
jar me up from feet to crown,
but when my nephews come to
town I talk not of my woes; I
gossip on some sprightly theme,
drink soda pop and eat ice cream,
and none of them would ever
dream that chilblains rack my
Matilda Jane was good as
wheat, she flew around on nim-
feet, and kept the cottage
clean and neat, and dished up
pleasing grub; and when we look-
ed on her with pride, and said
we’d never let her slide, she
jumped her job to be the bride
of J. Augustus Dobb. Lucretia
came to take her place; Lucretia
lacked the smallest trace of
household knowledge, and her
face would stop an eight-day
clock; for weeks we labored to
impart such lessons as would
make her smart; then she upset
the apple cart by wedding Mr.
Mock. The widowed Bridget got
the job; she told us with a heart-
sick sob that she was weary of
.... mob, of jazz and garish
things; she only asked a place to
stay till she was bent and old
and gray, and then she flew the
coop one day and married James
J. Jings. And so they come and
disappear; where are the maids
of yesteryear? They’re baking
pies and brewing beer to please
their worser halves; and we who
have the coin to hire as many
girls as we desire, must groan
and labor and perspire until we
sprain our calves. The servant
problem never shrinks; it never
will while there are ginks to lure
the girls with drug store drinks
and drives in flivver cars; it nev-
er will while there are swains to
guide the girls through quiet
lanes and talk of love and golden
chains beneath the smirking
♦ WITH THE JOKESM1TH ♦
* - •
♦ Made, Borrowed and Stolen *
Was the Judge Bribed?
Rural Magistrate—I’ll have to
fine ye a dollar, Jeff.
Jeff—I’ll have to borrow it
off’n ye, Jedge.
R. M.—Great snakes! It was
only to git a dollar I was fining
ye. Git out! Ye ain’t guilty,
Venture in High Finance.
Lily—So yo’ done mortgaged
our li’l home?
Mose—Jes’ temp-rarily, honey,
till de mortgage am fo’closed.
“I wonder why it is a girl can’t
catch a ball like a man.”
“Oh, a man is so much bigger
and easier to catch.”
Looking Her Best.
Doctor—My treatment is do-
ing you lots of good. You are
looking much better today.
Fair Patient—Oh, I always
look much better in this hat!
Tit for Tat.
Lodger—This steak is like a
cold day in June, Mrs. Smith—
Landlady (angrily)—And your
bill is like March weather—very
Rub—Did you see much pov-
erty in Europe?
Dub—Yes, and I brought some
of it back with me!
For service car call J. A. Will-
son’s grocery, No. 72, or G. C.
Starkey’s Market, No. 806.
Confessions Ease Souls.
She—How kind of you to
bring me those flowery. Such
lovely ones, and to think there is
some dew on them yet.
He—Why-er-yes. But I’m go-
ing to pay the florist tomorrow.
Get Thee Behind Me, Satan.
Mrs. Kilgore was the pretty
young wife of the elderly village
pastor. One day she went into
the city with a friend, and among
other things bought a new frock.
“Another frock, my dear?”
said her husband; “did you need
“Yes,” said the wife, hesita-
tingly, “I do need it; and, be-
sides, it was so pretty that the
devil tempted me.”
“But you should have said,
‘Get thee behind me, Satan.’
Have you forgotten that,”
“Oh, no; but that was what
made the trouble, hubby dear. 1
said, ‘Get thee behind me, Sa-
tan,’ and he did, but he whisper-
ed over my shoulder, ‘It just fits
you beautifully in the back!’
And I just had to take it, then.”
A casualty insurance company
that had required some addi-
tional evidence to support a
claim recently received a letter
from the widow of the insured,
“I have had so much trouble
getting my money that I some-
times almost wish my husband
were not dead.”
Mrs. Jiggins, who was reading
a newspaper, observed to her
husband that the journal con-
tained a lengthy article entitled:
“Woman’s Work for the Feeble-
Now Mr. Jiggins was in a re-
actionary mood. So he grunted
“I should like to know what
women have ever done for the
“They usually marry them, my
dear,” replied Mrs. Jiggins very
“A man is never older than he
feels,” declared the ancient beau
bravely. “‘Now I feel as a two-
“Horse or egg?” asked the
sweet young thing brightly.
Her Fatal Charm,
A motherinlaw was in the
habit of visiting her daughter
just often enough to make her
daughter’s husband wish he had
married an orphan.
One day she arrived and found
her daughter in tears.
“What has happened? Has
George deserted you? Has he
\ “Y-yes.” (Sobbing.)
“Then there is a woman in the
case; who is she?”
“Good heavens! And to think
that I never encouraged him!”
Shoe repairing while you wait,
and workmanship first class at
Clark’s Harness Shop.
We want your business.
We need your business.
Will appreciate your trade.
H. E. Neblett
Are the latest adopted
tires by all tire com-
panies. We will swap
you Balloon Tires and
Tubes for your old tires
W. F. GRAVES
SOUTH SIXTH STREET
JONES A BRUMIT
FURNITURE AND UNDERTAKING.
Complete line sf all Furniture and Furnishings fur
Jones & Brumit
South Side of Square
Honey Grove, Texaa
Decline of the Non-Partisan
The Non-Partisan League has
gone into a perceptible decline in
A North Dakota editor, a mem-
ber of the National Editors’ As-
sociation tourist party who vis-
ited Houston a few days ago,
when asked for a reason for the
decline of the League in his
state, replied the leaders and or-
ganizers had decamped to seek
greener fields elsewhere.
It seems that it cost $16 per
year to belong to the Non-
Partisan League. As long as the
organizers were making money
selling memberships, they were
willing to preach the beauties of
state socialism to the farmers of
North Dakota, but after the state
had “gone broke” following their
policies, and the farmers had lost
millions endeavoring to make
real the vagaries of the League,
the leaders made themselves
No Worms In a Healthy Child
Ail children troubled with Worms have an un-
healthy color, which indicates poor blood, and as a
rule, there is more or less stomach disturbance;
GROVE S TASTELESS CHILL TONIC given regu-
larly for two or three weeks will enrich the blood,
improve the digestion, and'act as a general Strength-
ening Tonic to the whole system. Nature will them
threw off or dispel the worms, and the Child wil 1 be
in perfect health, Pleasant to take. 60c per bottle.
Bring m your ©Id auto top*.
We can make them look like new.
—Clark’s Harness Shop.
GIVE US A TRIAL.
Scott & Son
Here’s what’s next.
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Lowry, J. H. Honey Grove Signal (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 34, No. 21, Ed. 1 Friday, June 20, 1924, newspaper, June 20, 1924; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth633965/m1/7/: accessed April 19, 2019), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Honey Grove Preservation League.