Honey Grove Signal (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, May 2, 1919 Page: 3 of 22
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CRYING NEED FOR
PAINT
There is a crying need for
paint on thousands of houses
throughout Texas — GOOD
paint that will beautify and
satisfy. If you want the best,
use MASURY. Reasonable in
price, and wholly dependable
in quality.
Honey Grove, - Texas
+*<■ +> +*♦ +X+ ❖ ♦> ❖ +2*
❖ EARLY MORNING *
❖ OBSERVATIONS *
❖ - ❖
❖ Geo. M. Bailey in Houston Post ❖
♦♦♦ +2+ +> +t+ +2+ +X+ ❖ +X+ ❖ ❖
The Kansas City Star talks
about the South’s war profits in
cotton, although the South has
not sold its cotton and is not al-
lowed to reach the markets with
it, except the American spinners’
market at less than the cost of
production. Well, the spinners
won’t get it and Kansas City will
go dressed in breach clout in the
winter time before we part with
it at a loss. If Kansas City does
not like that, it ought to be in-
telligent enough to know what it
can do, and where it can go.
The post-lenten crash resulted
in this score: Marriage licenses
17, divorce suits 17; game called
on account of darkness.
Why is it that the man who
insists he “doesn’t give a dam”
is always giving a shower of
them on the street corner where
the passing women and little
children have to listen?
Not another immigrant from
Europe to these shores, and not
another European admitted to
American citizenship, until he
has been fumigated, boiled, de-
pediculated, debolshevized, de-
anarchised and X-rayed from
topknot to toenail for hyphens.
Mexico refuses to recognize
—Eye Headaches
Many people suffer from Head-
aches caused by Eye Defects.
You may see alright, your Eyes
may not pain you, yet, because
of ...a ...something lacking which
properly adjusted Glasses alone
can supply, you continue to suf-
fer. It won’t cost anything to
learn whether your eyes are de-
fective or not, and if they need
Glasses
We Can Fit the Proper Ones
Our prices are very reasonable
and we
GUARANTEE SATISFACTION
Deacon Shreiber
the Monroe doctrine. There are
quite a number of doctrines Mex-
ico refuses to recognize—some
of them found in the Ten Com-
mandments—but this world is
going right along with big af-
fairs without Mexico’s approval.
We view with alarm the in-
creasing slenderness of the
waistline of the fashionable
makes of men’s clothing. An-
other season of such effeminacy
and the men will have to wear
corsets. After corsets, will come
camisoles and teddybears, and
then we are lost.
And instead of proceeding 'at
this time to select a candidate
for president, as Mr. Bryan pro-
poses, we think that after a sea-
son has been devoted to medita-
tion, reflection and introspection,
somebody ought to lead the par-
ty in prayer.
It is hard for a Christian to
write an* obituary without using
the word “immortality.” And
when we read in a contemporary
a beautiful tribute to a good
woman that mentions her “im-
moral soul”—well, we are glad
the Mergenthaler has never
played a mean trick like that
on us.
They say the League of Na-
tions may blow up as a result of
the Italian tangle. If so, build
the navy, stiffen the national
upper lip, don’t be so profligate
with the exchequer, keep the na-
tional powder bone-dry, encour-
age common sense in politics, re-
ligion and industry, don’t waste
time trying to revolutionize hu-.
man nature and make the “Keep
Off the Grass” signs large
enough that all the world may
behold them.
The report is that “Lenine’s
army has been whipped on three
fronts.” If that’s the case,
then a few kicks in the rear
ought to complete the job. s
Switzerland is filling up with
archdukes and other obsolescent
excrescences of royalty and no-
bility. The Peace Conference
ought to give a time limit in
which these creatures may go to
work in the brickyard or concen-
trate them on some island where
they can fish or starve.
Only sixty-three dajrs until
July 1. We are not raising the
gaunt scepter of Saharan desola-
tion, amid whose hot wastes no
fountain springs. We are mere-
ly noting the fugitity of Tempus
and pondering the aridity of the
wastes to which his swift flight
is taking us.
Still, the “Dips” in Paris need
not threaten to withdraw. No
power represented can withdraw
on a basis of separate peace so
easily as the United States, and
no withdrawal could put such a
crimp in the world’s bellyband.
The Higher the Fewer.
“A great many commodities
are advancing in price.”
“And that reminds me.”
“Yes?”
“I heard less kicking when
whisky advanced $4 a gallon
than when milk went up one cent
a quart.”
Colds Cause Grip and Influenza
LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE Tablets remove the
cause. There is only one “Bromo Quinine."
E. W. GROVE’S signature on box. 30c.
FARM NAMES ADD TO PRIDE
Are Declared to Be One of the Hope*
ful Signs in Wisconsin Home
and Rural Life.
Would you rather live at “Teka-
mah Stock Farm” than “the old
Jones place ?” Do you like the looks
of “The Cedars” on your barn or
mailbox? Wouldn’t it he a little
more homelike to have the children
write home to “Meadow View” in-
stead of to “John Smith, R. F. D.
No. 4?”
Naming the farm is one of the
hopeful signs of interest in rural
Iife> according to F. A. Aust, who is
making a list of farm names for use
in Wisconsin, says a University of
Wisconsin bulletin. Usually the
family who wants to name a farm
has something to be proud of, and as
a rule they either own the farm or
want to own it—which is also a good
thing for rural life.
Mr. Aust finds that farm names
usually come under three classes:
Those determined by the situation
of the farm as to land, water or
geographical location; those deter-
mined by the trees, flowers or shrub-
bery on the farm; those having
some historical relation to the farm
or to the neighborhood, such as
names of old settlers, important
events or Indian names. Any of
these names*may be combined with
the specialty of the farm as in Hick-
ory hill, Black Hawk or Ioka Stock
farm.
Indian names for Wisconsin farms
are especially appropriate, in Mr.
Aust’s opinion.
TESTS SHOW VALUE OF MILK
Experiments Prove It Is Practically In-
dispensable in Preserving Proper
Health in Children.
No more convincing proof of the
value of milk in the diet of children
can probably be found than in the
results of experiments conducted for
several months by the home demon-
stration agent in Manatee county,
Fla. She has weighed and measured
over 2,000 children, and has found
that those weighing and measuring
up to the standard, or a little above,
are almost without exception receiv-
ing a great deal of milk. The chil-
dren much under the standard have
been receiving little or no milk.
Carrying the experiment further
underweight children began almost
immediately to show gains when
milk was added to their diet. With
such evidence as to the value of milk
it is not surprising that Manatee
county has more dairy cows now
than a year ago, and the number is
rapidly increasing. The results of
this experiment are being used as
one of the arguments in a state-wide
campaign for more dairy cows.
CAN'T SEE SHELL IN FLIGHT.
A correspondent writes the Scien-
tific American: “The question has
been raised ia discussion whether or
not the soldiers in France can see
or hear shells fired by high-powered
guns in time to dodge them. Will
you please answer this question for
us if you have information avail-
able?”
Here is the answer: Sound travels
in warm weather 1,120 feet per sec-
ond. A high-powered rifle produces
a much greater velocity in the shell.
The sound of the gun cannot be
heard before the shell reaches the
place to which it is sent. Nor can
THE UNIVERSAL CAR
The Ford Motor Company have instructed us to sell
the genuine Ford Parts to any and every reliable Ga-
rage who will pledge their use in the repair of Ford
cars. The genuine Ford Parts are absolutely necessary
to the owner of Ford cars" that he may get full service
from his car. We carry them and so, we hope, in a
short time, will every reliable Garage. We solicit your
service business because we have the Ford Methods,
the Ford Parts, the Ford Mechanics and the Ford prices.
Incidentally would be glad to get your order for one or
more Ford cars.
HONEY GROVE AUTO COMPANY
an object moving past one with such
a velocity be seen. If it were com-
ing directly toward one it‘might be
seen when near enough to fill a per-
ceptible angle. That shells have
been seen to go past rests npon very
uncertain foundations.
FOOD VALUE OF NUTS.
Pound for pound, walnuts, butter-
nuts, chestnuts and hickory nuts are
the equal in food value of a juicy
steak, contain more protein (tissue
building) food than white bread and
bnt one-third less than eggs. In
these days of food scarcity and high
prices it is likely that the vast crop
of native American nuts will receive
the recognition that they deserve.-—
Popular Science Monthly.
COMPARISONS.
“Life must have been terrible
living in those trenches.”
“Humph 1 living in the trenches
hasn’t got anything on these house*-
cleaning times.”
HIS CLASS.
“The baseball player you pointed
out to me is an ugly mug.”
“He isn’t a mug at all; he’s a
pitcher.”
TOOK TOO MUCH FOR GRANTED
Traveler Would Have Been Money
Ahead if He Had Inquired Par- t
ticulars as to Fare.
He had just reached town and
didn’t have much money, but he
had succeeded in smuggling a quart
of whisky in with him. He was go-
ing to the home of a friend far out
toward the edge of the city. Ap-
proaching the driver of a taxicab
near the station he asked what the
charge would be for a ride to the
address he named.
“Dollar and a half,” the driver re-
plied.
“Too much,” said the traveler.
He made inquiry of one taxi
driver after another, but each gave
the same answer. The price would
be $1.50.
“Must be a uniform price,” he
said, and he climbed into the next
taxi he came to without asking the
price. On the way out he discovered
the driver was a sociable sort of fel-
low, so he gave him a. few drinks
from the prized bottle. The driver
took large drinks, too. Then, ar-
riving at the friend’s home, the trav-
eler, as he climbed out of the ma-
chine, inquired the price.
“Two dollars and a half,” said the
driver.
“And I paid it just like I had a
lot of money,” the victim said later
in telling of the experience.—In-
dianapolis News.
THEN SHE REPORTED HIM
Messenger Boy—Good morning,
ma’am.
Miss Antique—What a polite lit-
tle boy. Do you always take your
cap off to ladies?
Messenger—No’m. Only to old
ladies.
IDENTIFIED.
Little brother’s chum appeared
unceremoniously in the parlor where
big sister was entertaining her Sun-
day afternoon beau. “Is Bobby
home?” he wished to know. No,
Bobby was not at home, and then,
oh, unfortunate impulse, big sister,
desiring to show her visitor her
sweet graciousness even in the bosom
of her own family solicitously in-
quired :
“Who shall I tell him called?”
Bobby’s chum twisted his cap,
doubtless unaccustomed to such rare
courtesy, and desiring to identify
himself to his chum while, remaining
incognito to these queer adults, at
length replied:
“If you’ll just tell him that the
guinea pig’s got little ones, then
he’ll know who it was that called.”
WELL-BRED REPLY.
In reply to a complaint from a
husky soldier, anxious to get into
the scrap, but who had been assigned
to the bakery department, the cap-
tain said: “You wanted to be a
doughboy; your assignment shows
that we were looking for some thor-
ough-bread; it’s an honor, the sec-
retary of war is a Baker. Now cease
being so crusty, get these fancy-
bread notions out of yonr head, and
your path will be strewed with
flours.”—Cartoons Magazine.
AS BASEBALL DRAWS NEAR.
“Qharley, dear,” said young Mrs.
Torkins, “would it please you if I
took more interest in sports ?”
“Oh, it might be interesting if we
could talk over the events and figure
out the prospects.”
“Well, I’m going to begin right
now. Do you think the National
league will win the world series next
fall?”
AHEAD OF HIS TIME.
“Hence!” cried the monarch in
the ancient drama, “and brook no
delay 1”
“I fly!” rejoined the courier. “I
fly!”
“Hold! Don’t attempt an anachro-
nism like that. The airship has not
yet been invented.”
BURLESON TIRED OF
GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP
Asks That Telephone and Tele-
graph Wires Be Returned
to Owners at Once.
Postmaster General Burleson
has recommended to President
Wilson that all telephone and
telegraph lines be returned to
their private owners as soon as
Congress can enact legislation
deemed necessary.
This action was announced to-
day shortly after the Postmaster
General had disclosed that he
had recommended the immediate
return of American cable lines
and hoped to have the cables in
the hands of their owners by
May 10.
DAMFINO JONES.
Damfino Jones, a mental drone,
Had no opinions of his own;
He grew to manhood meek and mild,
But he was Indecision’s child.
It was the same in weal or woe;
He “wasn’t sure,” or “didn’t know.”
In business he would hesitate
To buy or sell until too late;
So, naturally, he ran in debt—
But hasn’t run back out as yet.
When asked when he a debt would pay
He “couldn’t just exactly say.”
In romance he just couldn’t tell
If he loved Blanche or Isabel—
He married Jane, and, safe to say,
’Twas she who kept the wolf at bay,
And with religion, mixed he got
When asked if orthodox or not.
In politics he’d weigh and weigh,
And then not vote on ’lection day.
And so he wavered till he died
And never did one thing decide.
Now, I don’t know, but it is said
He isn’t now quite sure he’s dead.
Take note of men who’ve made success;
They tell you “No” or tell you “Yes”
Right off the bat, nor step aside
When faced with questions to decide;
While men like Jones just paw the air
And never do get anywhere.
This truth shines out like bright new
tin:
Think for yourself, if you would win.
—Frank R. Heine in Asheville Push.
SULPHUR AND ’LASSES.
How dear to my heart
Are the scenes of my childhood,
The sulphur and ’lasses
My infancy knew.
Every spring they came,
Hand in hand as it were.
Mother used to mix that unholy
Alliance and we had o take it
Out of a large spoon—in fact,
The largest spoon in the world—
Which is one reason we have
Never had such a beautiful mouth.
It was stretched all out of shape
In childhood’s happy hours.
And then we ran- away from home
To become an undertaker,
But compromised on writin’ a column.
That was many years ago
And we thought we had sluffed
Sulphur and molasses forever.
But this morning we had
To shut our eyes and swallow
The bowl of ■ a large wooden spoon
Aimed by an unerring hand,
And our patient wife
And our two kids had to do the same.
Mother is visiting us this spring
And she brought the ingredients
Along with her. It is thus
The innocent crimes of childhood
Pursue one to his last day.
—Roy K. Moulton.
SOLDIERS’ I
MAY BE
Director Lindsley
Risk Insurance Bu
in force a regulat
protect the soldier
has allowed his w
ance to lapse by
ure to promptly
mium. Under
tions the policy
thirty days grac
exists with old li
but the Governm
an effort to not on
soldier to retain
but take advanta
version plan offe
protection issued u
gency can be carried
insurance for a long
No man is to los
reinstatement and
is to be allowed to
insured is given
ity to continue I
probably will be
within six mont
of conversion,
months after d'
version period
of June 1. T
may be obtaii
arrearage, an
medical certifi
health and ph;
as good as of di
discharge froi
The fish aga<
brook, from dist
ing; and I must take a li
hook and catch a cod or he
When spring arrives I always
feel an idolic longing to go
abroad with rod and reel, where
other sports are thronging. My
wife remarks: “To streamlet’s
shore I beg that you won’t beat >
it; go, buy canned salmon at the
store and stay at home and eat
it. You’re always grouchy as a
bear when you come home from
angling; the way you cave
around and swear sets all my
nerves a-jangling.” I know she’s
right; the fishing game I ought
to call a halt on; I’ll never dupli-
cate the fame of good old Izaak
Walton. ’Twas better far to
plant some spuds or prune the
growing carrot, or gather up my
winter duds and store them in
the garret. And yet the mighty
urge I feel would make the dead-
est swab stir; I’ll have to try to
catch an eel, a dolphin or a lob-
ster. I ought to trim that state-
ly tree, whose life is plainly fail-
ing, but, oh, the brook is calling
me, and I must catch a grayling.
I oughl to grind the reaping
hook and toil like thrifty broth-
ers, but there are suckers in the
brook and wall-eyed pike and
others. So I’ll forsake the grow-
ing greens and leave the rhubarb
dying and go and catch some
What Did He Say.'
. “So the doctor told you to go
to a warmer climate. What was
the nature of the trouble you
consulted him about?”
“I went there to collect a bill.”
Good work, quick service, rea-
sonable prices is my motton.—
Tom Hudson, back end of
Graves’ Garage.
canned sardines or break a fish-
pole trying.—Walt Mason.
Procrastination.
“My son,” said mother, “you
should never defer until tomor-
row what you can do today.”
“Then, mother,” returned the
son, “we had better eat the rest
of the mince pie, hadn’t we ?” —
Signal and Dallas News, $1.75*
We Are Not Giving Away I
Premiums
Therefore, we are not compelled to charge extra for our Mer-
chandise or slight our service, as we have no Investments
for premiums.
We have made arrangements to distribute
FREE Wm. A. Rodgers, Ltd., Silverware FREE
As our new co-operative advertising plan, which is your op-
portunity to fill your China Closet or Crystal Closet with
Wm. Rodgers Silverware.
Save our business cards-something, somehow-Ask for them
TIRES
The best by Government Test—Brunswick .Tires
Out of 22 makes of Tires tested out by the U. S. Government,
the Brunswick Tire came out ahead of any Tire. In Road Test
it made 10,000 miles before hitting fabric under Extra heavy
load of merchandise over the worst roads of Maryland.
-THEY DON’T COST ANY MORE THAN OTHERS-
—Buy the best and forget the rest—
6th St. Tire & Repair Co.
Telephone 119
Honey Grove, Texas
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Lowry, J. H. Honey Grove Signal (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, May 2, 1919, newspaper, May 2, 1919; Honey Grove, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth637948/m1/3/: accessed April 25, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Honey Grove Preservation League.