Polk County Enterprise (Livingston, Tex.), Vol. 131, No. 99, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 12, 2013 Page: 4 of 16
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Polk County Newspapers and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Livingston Municipal Library.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
Opinions
?®0[k ©@Qj]m% HoDGQfffpffB©©
Page 4A ■ Thursday, December 12, 2013
The Raainq Moderate
2013's stories offered comedy
e still, your beating
r*^ hearts. As we exul-
9 tantly find ourselves
in this festive place once
again. The most wonder-
ful time of the year. When
squealing children race home
from school to check and
recheck their favorite news
websites. Husbands and
wives fight for possession
of the living room tablet.
Grandparents double up on
their meds. Relax, every-
body. It’s finally here. Yes,
you may consider the Top
10 Comedic News Stories of
2013 officially released.
Some years make it darn
near impossible from which
to strain a few meager
laughs, As amusing as a
broken crutch on the edge
of a toxic waste dump.
But enough about Detroit.
Because in terms of funny
comedy humor, this year
was lush and fecund like a
tropical rain forest. Horse-
meat discovered to be a
major component of IKEA's
meatballs. And the teachable
moment here could be not
to look to Swedish furniture
manufacturers for our nutri-
tional needs.
It is pivotal to understand
that the Top 10 Comedic
News Stories of 20.13.ilt£
in no way to be confused
with the Top 10 Legitimate
WILL DURST
News Stories of 2013. No.
No. No. They are as different
as soy beans and lug nuts.
Bluetooth and dental floss.
Palm fronds and those weird,
cone-shaped collars that dogs
wear to keep from chewing
their butts.
These are the stories and
events of the year thus far.
that most lent themselves to
mocking and scoffing and
taunting, as determined by
the executive council of the
Comics, Clowns, Jesters &
Satirists Union. Which, as
you probably have already
guessed, is... me.
Number 10. The president
becomes a lame duck four
months into his second term.
Beyond lame duck. More
of a quadriplegic platypus.
Barack Obama Leadership
Skills. Like saying Fuku-
shima sushi. Paula Deen at
the Apollo.
9. Former New York Con-
gressman Anthony Weiner
attempts a comeback. And
he proves once again that Ins
name is also the source of
most of his problems.
8. Pope Francis turns out
to be a liberal Democrat
while Pope Benedict stays
busy updating his Christian
Mingle profile.
7. To escape government
persecution, world class
leaker Edward Snowden runs
first to China and then to
Russia. Which is like joining
the army because “you're
tired of people telling you
what to do."
6. Ted Cruz rallies fel-
low Tea Partiers by reading
“Green Eggs and Ham” on
the floor of the Senate, then
misinterprets the moral of a
book aimed at kindergarten-
ers.
5. Toronto Mayor Rob
Ford admits using crack
during one of his “drunken
stupors.” Yes, plural. Sub-
sequently sees his approval
rating shoot up 5 points. Not
saying Obama should repli
cate this strategy, but if the
big, fat shoe tits...
4. Spying revelations
shock America. Turns out the
only way to keep the NSA
from following our every
■ Letters to the Editor
A special thank you for the support given to the troops
On behalf of F.A .1 T.H.
Military Support Group, we
want to personally thank
each and every one of you
for your contributions that
fill the Care Packages or
pay for shipping them to the
troops! Your gifts you so
unselfishly give from your
valuable volunteer time, to
each and every donated pen-
ny on up, travel size soaps
and shampoos, to boxes of
comfort food, handmade
to store bought items, from
bibles to hot rod magazines
and books to cards, letters
of encouragement and ap-
preciation for what they do
and sacrifices they and their
families have made.
On Dec 5. with over 200+
people in attendance, we
packed 305 Christmas Care
Packages for our troops.
They each will receive a
minimum of two boxes.
More will go to some of
them in desolate locations
that will enable them to share
with their units. At least
50 Christmas cards written
by you. your family, your
churches, your classrooms,
scout troops and on and on
were included in each box.
They love your cards, the
children's drawings and let-
ters, your handwritten notes
of encouragement and telling
them that they are remem-
bered and prayed for!
One box is full of comfort
food from home, from oat-
meal and breakfast bars to
soups and packaged dinners
as well as Christmas treats
like fudge, peanut brittle,
biscotti and Christmas
cakes. Their second box is
full of handmade Christmas
stockings. The stockings
are filled with candy canes,
CD’s, toothbrushes, dental
floss, toothpaste, cards, dice,
special covert ice and sand
socks, Santa hats, games,
toys, and Christmas orna-
ment kits all to surely put
a smile on their faces. They
received travel mugs full of
candy, coffee cup with packs
of special coffees and hot
chocolate and apple cider.
A smaller stocking was
filled with a variety of do-
nated Avon toiletry products.
They received bibles for
their soul and paper and pen
to write home to their loved
ones. Everything from a
small Christmas tree to a can
of Chili will warm their heart
and soul!
We thank you and I thank
each and every one of you!
Please know that our Ameri-
can Soldiers. Marines. Navy.
Air Force. Coast Guard,
whether active duty or re-
serve. whether stationed
near or afar, are grateful re-
cipients of the love you have
sent them! Please continue
to take a moment every day
to pray for their safe return!
God Bless America and may
the New Year bring Peace! .<■
Merry Christmas to each
and every one of you and
know that you have touched
the hearts of many with your
love and generosity!
Respectfully,
Andrea (Andee) Shaffer
Secretary.
Families and Individuals
Thanking Heroes.
Military Support Group
Contact vour representatives
I J.S. Sen. .lohn Cornvn:
IJ.S. Rep. Steve Stockman:
936/699-4988
http://cornyn .senate .gov
326 Cannon House Office Building
517 Hart Office Bldg.
Washington. DC 20515
State Rep. lames White;
Washington, D.C. 20510
202-225-1555
Room E2.508, Capitol Extension
202/224-2934
P.O.Box 2910
FAX: 202-228-2856
Sen. Robert Nichols:
Austin. TX 78768
P.O. Box 12068
512/463-0490
U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz:
Austin. TX 78711
B40B Dirksen Senate Office Bldg.
512/463-0103
(Joy. RirV Perry
Washington, DC 20510
or 2915 Atkinson Dr.
512/463-2000
202-224-5922
Lufkin, TX 75901
www.govemor. state .tx .us
Governor, lawmakers
pay tribute to Mandela
move is by becoming one of
their employees.
3. Dennis Rodman be-
comes a roving ambassador.
Ambassador Worm. What's
next? Mike Tyson. Poet Lau-
reate. Kim Kardashian, Mo-
lecular Chemistry Consul
taut. Tim Tebovv. NFI QB
2. Government shutdown.
America comes excruciating-
ly close to defaulting. Again.
And you know what happens
then. We have to move back
in with Britain.
I. Affordable Care Act
website debacle. Most peo-
ple decide it would be easier
to let the NSA handle the
whole thing. After till, they
have all our information and
probably know which plan
best tits.
(opyriyht 1 20Id, Will
Durst, distributed by the ( a
yle Cartoons hie. syndicate.
Contact Can Daw son Bart
Icy at card" cayle.com. Will
Durst is a political comedian
who has performed around
the world. He is a familiar
pundit on television and
radio. Email Will at durst1"
cay lei artoons .com. ( heck
out willandw ilhe com for the
latest podcast if Don’t for
yet to check out his rooftop
eottwds auaulax at: httpo*
w'ww.rooftopconiedy.com/
shows/BurstO/Durst.
AUSTIN — Following the
death of Nelson Mandela on
Dec. 5, Gov. Rick Perry and
other elected officials re-
leased statements in honor of
the former president of South
Alrica whose message of ra-
cial reconciliation and lead-
ing role in breaking down
apartheid in that country are
acknowledged globally.
Perry said: “Through his
valiant struggle against the
injustices of apartheid. Nel-
son Mandela became a sym-
bol of what one person can
do to change the world. His
life and legacy will remain
an inspiration to people ev-
erywhere who believe in the
power ol freedom to create
stronger nations and forge a
better world for future gen-
erations. Today, the prayers
of Texans are with Mandela’s
family, his friends, and the
people of South Africa.”
State Sen. Rodney Lil-
lis of Houston said: “Texas
joins the rest of the world in
mourning the loss of Nelson
Mandela, one of history’s
bravest leaders. His sacrifice
and courage in the face of
unspeakable hardship dem-
onstrated the extent to which
some must fight for their
freedom. We must all honor
his legacy as we continue the
struggle to improve all peo-
ples' lives. My thoughts and
prayers are with the Mandela
family ”
State Sen 1 .eticia Van de
Putle ol San Antonio said:
' Today, a great man left us
Nelson Mandela was not
just a hero ot South Alrica,
but for all of humanity an
inspiration,al soul who pos
sessed the courage to stand
up to injustice, regardless
of what it might cost him
personally. On the 20th an
niversarv ol Ins release from
prison, I stood inside Ins for-
mer cell on Robben Island,
the place where he spent IX
of Ins 27 years of incarcera-
tion. I was overcome w ith
emotion realizing what he
sacrificed to end apartheid
and free a |>eople."
Van de Putle said two
Mandela quotes “daily in-
spire me m my work as an
elected official ":
“f Kercoming poverty is
not a gesture of charity. It is
an act of justice. It is the pro-
tection ol a fundamental hu-
man right, the right to dignity
and a decent 'liter—
- "Education is the most
powerful weapon which you
can use to change the world.”
Interim studies are
assigned
I t Gov. David Dewhursl.
who presides over the Sen-
ate. last week assigned work
to two committees, to be
conducted before the Texas
Legislature meets in January
2015.
On Dec. 4, Dewhurst
charged the Senate Com-
mittee on Agriculture. Rural
Affairs & Homeland Security
with studying the state's re-
cent and ongoing efforts to
secure the border.
Dewhurst asked the com-
mittee to study the effective-
ness of the recent Depart-
ment of Public Safety “surge
operation" who earlier this
fall put more personnel on
duty in the Mexico border
region. He also asked the
TEXAS PRESS ASSOCIATION
HIGHLIGHTS
By Ed Storing
committee to evaluate the
most effective methods to
deal with evolving threats,
deter illegal immigration, and
deter transnational and drug-
related violence and crime.
In addition, Dewhurst
called on the committee to
study "whether current crime
statistics reporting accu-
rately measures all crime and
crimes related to illegal bor-
der activities" and for recom-
mendations on "how to best
take advantage of the avail-
able crime data and identify
potential barriers to adopting
a more comprehensive state-
wide system."
On Dec. 6, Dewhurst
charged another committee,
the Senate Committee on
State Affairs, with study-
ing "the growing concern of
privacy protection and ways
to make Texas government
even more transparent ”
T hat study assignment, De-
whurst said, w ill be broken
down into four areas: surveil-
lance. data collection and ag-
gregation. transparency and
consent and use of technol-
ogy to increase government
transparency.
The area of transparency
and consent, in particular,
directs the committee "to
identify potential reforms
(hat would increase the abil-
ity of citizens to understand
the data being collected
about them and with whom
that data is being shared."
Abbott files gun
rights brief
Texas Attorney General
(ireg Abbott on Dec. 4 joined
a bipartisan coalition of at-
torneys general from 26
states and one U.S. territory
m filing a U.S. Supreme
Court amicus brief in the
case Abramski v. The United
States, regarding in defense
of gun rights. -------_
Abbott's office said the
brief, authored by West Vir-
ginia. urges the high court to
reverse a lower court ruling
that criminalizes intrastate
private firearm sales from
one authorized indiv idual
to another. Chief among the
states’ arguments is that "no
federal law regulates private,
intrastate firearms transfers
between law-abiding indi-
viduals who may lawfully
possess firearms.”
Paukcn ends campaign
Tom Pauken. former chair
of the Texas Republican
Party and former chair of the
Texas Workforce Commis-.........
sion, last week announced
he would not continue his
campaign for governor in the
GOP primary . Listed as the
Republican candidates for
governor are Greg Abbott.
Miriam Martinez, Lisa Frit-
sch and Larry S. Kilgore.
POLKCOUNTY
ENTERPRISE
piSurmT
I ASSOCIATION I
I asaapYivcs I
ALVTX HOLLEY. PUBLISHER
Telephone Number 9V6-.127-4.1S7
(USPS 4.37-340)
Fniered as Periodica) Matter at the Post Office at Livingston TX 77351
Newsroom
Greg Peak. Editor
polknews@gmail com
Circulation
Vicki Coker. Supervisor
circulation@easttexasnews.com
Display Advertising
Linda Holley. Manager
enterprise@easttexasnews.com
Classified Advertising
Linda Jacobs, Manager
pcpcclassified@ gmail com
Any erroneous reflection upon the character, standing «*r reputation of any person, firm t»r
corporation which may appear in this newspaper will he gladly corrected upon being bn High!
to the attention of the publisher.
Opinions expressed in columns are those of the writer and not necessarily those of this
newspaper. Opinions expressed in editorial are those of the Enterprise. POSTMASTER:
Periodical postage paid at Uvingston. TX Please send address changes to PO. Box 1276,
Livingston, Texas 77351.
taper or lo report a broken vending machine call ext. 1051
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Peak, Greg. Polk County Enterprise (Livingston, Tex.), Vol. 131, No. 99, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 12, 2013, newspaper, December 12, 2013; Livingston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth788356/m1/4/: accessed April 19, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Livingston Municipal Library.