I appreciate your coming back for this last
session. I know this is nap time and
particularly on a rainy afternoon like today so
you're brave to weather the
storm outside in the time of day and come. I
hope you'll find that it's
beneficial. I've enjoyed seeing a lot of you
old friends and children of old
friends and new friends. It's been a pleasure
to be here. I hope if you have
your Bibles we'll be moving quickly but I will
use several scriptures if you'd
like to refer to any of them or if you'd just
like to jot, I will each time give
you the scriptural reference that I'm using so
if you just want to jot that
down and look them up later that will be fine
too. If you have any encouragement
from being united with Christ, if any comfort
from His love, if any fellowship
with His Spirit, if any tenderness and
compassion, then make my joy complete by
being like-minded, having the same love, being
one in spirit and in purpose. Do
nothing of selfish ambition or vain conceit but
in humility consider others
better than yourselves. Each of you should look
not only to your own
interest but also to the interest of others and
this is the key to this
verse. Your attitude should be the same as that
of Christ Jesus. Come in, grab a
seat anywhere. We're just beginning.
So let me repeat that one part of the verse
again. Your attitude should be the
same as that of Christ Jesus and that is
Philippians 2:1-5 if
you'd like to refer to that later and then be
imitators of God therefore as
dearly loved children Ephesians 5:1 and then a
final verse anyone who has seen
me has seen the Father, John 14:9. Shall I
introduce you now and be done? This is my son,
Jason Brooks.
Come in, Betty, I'll get you to close that door
if you will. Maybe be a little
quieter that way. Thank you.
Jason, you want to give her your chair. That's
all right.
The Sunday school teacher stands in the church
hallway and says to the primary
supervisor, that's right if we let that child
with AIDS come to Sunday school
no other parent will allow their children to
sit in the same room with
him. I know I certainly wouldn't let my child
sit in a Sunday school class with
a child infected with AIDS. Then the smiling
teacher enters the four-year-old
Bible school classroom and says all right
children let's begin our Bible
class today by singing Jesus loves the little
children all the children of the
world. A man with leprosy came and knelt before
him and said Lord if you are
willing you can make me clean. Jesus reached
out his hand and touched the man.
I'm willing, he says, be clean, Matthew 8:2.
Ryan White's mother, Jean, I'm sure
you're all familiar with the name Ryan White,
he's the little boy, the little
hemophiliac boy who died with AIDS a few years
ago. His mother wrote in Guidepost
magazine recently, on Easter Sunday 1,987 we
were sitting on the back pew of our
church, Ryan, Andrea, my parents and me. So
Ryan's cough would not upset people.
When it came time for the traditional Easter
greeting of peace folks turned
to the people in the pews behind them with a
handshake and they were to say
peace be with you. As the greeting spread from
the front of the church to the rear
of the auditorium as it rolled back I glanced
over at Ryan his mother said
there he stood Gaunt, his growth stunted by
AIDS at five feet with his hand
outstretched, but no one would shake his hand.
Texas Monthly magazine reported that Jimmy
Allen, former president of the
Southern Baptist Convention said this about his
daughter-in-law and two
grandsons who all carried the AIDS virus. He
said the greatest blow to me was the
failure of the churches to welcome Lydia, Brian
and Matt. I did not think the
church as an institution would go so far as to
deny the touch of Christ to
innocent children. Allen's son Scott had this
to say, that's when I realized that
for all of their talk about unconditional love
and caring many
Christians are terrified of people who face
this kind of suffering. We had
that chair.
Thank you.
And then the congregation stood and sang, oh to
be like thee,
blessed Redeemer. This is my constant longing
and prayer. Gladly I'll forfeit
all of earth's treasures, Jesus, thy perfect
likeness to bear. Oh to be like
thee, full of compassion, loving, forgiving,
tender and kind, helping the
helpless, cheering the fainting, seeking the
wandering sinner to find.
The preacher gave an eloquent sermon that
Sunday based on 1 Corinthians 6:9.
He used it as his text, do you not know that
the wicked will not inherit the
kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither the
sexually immoral nor
idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes
nor homosexual offenders nor
thieves nor greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers
nor swindlers will inherit
the kingdom of God. While the lesson was quick
to point out that this must mean
that AIDS was God's condemnation on the
homosexual, the minister failed to
mention the very next verse which says and that
is what some of you were. As well
as not observing that only a comma separated
the homosexuals from the
greedy and from the slanderer. The scripture
reading before the Lord's
Supper and the words inscribed on the table
used for the service said do this
in remembrance of me. Yet several members of
the church would not touch the
communion trays that were touched by the man
down the aisle who had AIDS. Many
people said to me both during Mike's illness
and since his death that of
course the church responded well to us. After
all Mike was an innocent victim of
AIDS. I could be kind to an innocent Christian
like Mike they said or to an
innocent child but those homosexuals are a
different matter. They're just getting
what they deserve when they get AIDS. The
church often says that homosexual
AIDS victims are beneath our compassion.
Instead we pronounce with smug
satisfaction the judgment of God upon the
perverts of America. We seem to feel
that they've gotten what is coming to them and
we really seem to rejoice in
that fact. Please hear me plainly. I totally
agree with the church's stand
against homosexual behavior. The Bible is clear
both Old and New Testaments
emphatically state that homosexual behavior is
a sin but if the homosexual
deserves AIDS and death because of his sin what
do you and I deserve for our
sins? Cheat on income tax? You deserve to go to
prison. Your teenage son drinks and
drives? He deserves a DUI or perhaps to be in a
serious automobile accident.
Your teenage daughter deserves pregnancy for
sex before marriage. If you gossip
and slander someone's reputation you deserve to
have those people know who's
been spreading that rumor. Your husband, your
father, your son, are you smoke? You
deserve to die with lung cancer. We all deserve
hell because of our sins but
Christ gave us mercy from what we deserve when
he died on the cross for
our sins. Why is it that we want mercy for our
sins but we say we want justice
for the homosexual? This is a subject that I
feel in the churches of Christ
and in other conservative religious bodies that
we have led our rightness get
in the way of our righteousness. Joe Dallas,
president of Exodus International
says where is our compassion? We've become
adept at hard truth but we can't
see that AIDS is affording us the greatest
opportunity that we've ever
had to finally reach the gay community with the
gospel. Didn't it sink in that
people are dying alone and desperate waiting to
be harvested right before our
eyes? He goes on to say where are our missions,
our visitation programs, our
calls to action? Do we really feel that the
soul of a homosexual is of less
value to God than the soul of a heterosexual?
There is clearly a danger
that today we who call ourselves Christians
will lose sight of the value
that God places on one who is lost. Like the
elder brother of the prodigal son we
may well think that they brought it on
themselves and we have no sympathy for
them. Besides there's so many who are lost you
know why bother? I mean what's
one going to make? One difference would one
person make? This puts us dangerously
dangerously close to thinking like the
Pharisees and the scribes of Jesus day.
The lost are valuable no matter how great their
sin because God placed a
value on one soul that is lost. The value that
God placed on that one soul was the
life of his son Jesus Christ on the cross.
Right now I want everybody in this
room to do something for me. I want you to
close your eyes and just listen to my
instructions. Close your eyes I can see if you
don't close them. I want you to
picture in your mind the most militant gay
rights at to this homosexual that
you can imagine. You've all seen one on Good
Morning America or the Oprah Winfrey
show or on the cover of Time magazine. I want
you to picture him in your mind.
Do you have his face in your mind? Now I want
you to repeat after me. Jesus
Christ died on the cross for him. Jesus Christ
died on the cross for him. Okay you
can open your eyes. Isn't that what Romans 5a
says while we were yet sinners
Christ died for us? Now while you have this
person's face pictured in your mind
let's say something else about this homosexual.
Repeat after me and I will
add the gentleman. I'm so glad they're here.
This is some mother and some father
son. This is some mother and some father son.
Maybe that will make him a little
more real to you. Speaking of the mother of a
homosexual AIDS victim what about
the response of the church to the mothers and
fathers and family members
of this person? We have so many Christians who
are hurting in silence
and guilt because they have a family member
who's dying with AIDS who is gay.
Listen to what one couple said who learned that
their 30 year old talented
Christian college graduate never gave us a bit
of trouble son was homosexual and
HIV positive. They wrote this statement to
Barbara Johnson who wrote splashes of
joy in the cesspool of life and several other
cute titles of books and she is
also the mother of a former homosexual and this
is what these parents wrote to
her. I do not know how to describe how we felt
then or even now because it's
never the same for long they wrote pain anger
pain guilt pain despair pain shame
pain denial pain confusion pain loss pain fear
pain numbness and then it would
begin all over again they said. My husband and
I cried prayed talked and
hung on to each other each one trying to
comfort the other when one was lower
than the other how could this be happening to
us they wrote. What a pity
that these families often feel they cannot turn
to their Christian family
for support. You see not only have we judged
their son or brothers to be the
worst of sinners but we have often judged the
parents to be inept and the
entire family to be dysfunctional. We look down
our noses and we say who sinned
this young man or his parents that he be a
homosexual. Let me give you two
examples of this type of judgment by
conservative churches. Her mother lost
her gay son to AIDS. She called the church
where she had been a member for
35 years a faithful member and asked to have
her son's funeral in that church
building and the powers that be in that church
said oh no we can't do that that
would be a statement to the community of
approval of his lifestyle. What are we
thinking about? What are we thinking about? In
a conservative Baptist Church a young
man who was HIV positive and had had a
homosexual lifestyle sang in the choir
until it was learned that he was HIV positive
and had AIDS. When that was
found out both he and his sister were removed
from the church choir their choir
robes were taken and destroyed for fear that
they were contaminated by the AIDS
virus and the sister was asked to come to the
church building drain the
Baptistry and scrub it with Clorox because the
brother had been baptized in
that Baptistry within the last year. What are
we thinking about? What are we
thinking about? I'm happy to say that there are
congregations who are doing a
great job of ministering to these families. My
own home congregation
Meadowbrook is just such a church. Helen and
Larry are one of our most faithful
couples. Larry served as an elder at another
congregation they attended and he
presently served Meadowbrook as a deacon and as
a substitute song leader. Helen is
one of our ladies class teachers and they both
work in prison ministry. This
past year the oldest of their three sons was
diagnosed HIV positive. Helen and
Larry returned from California where their son
was hospitalized and asked for
prayers and support from the local congregation.
They specifically asked us
to pray that Scott's illness would cause him to
leave his gay lifestyle and
return to the Lord. I want you to hear in
Helen's own words what the support and
encouragement from the church has meant to them.
Thank you Bobbie for this opportunity. I'd like
to begin what I had to say with
Galatians 6 to carry each other's burdens and
in this way you will fulfill the
law of Christ. And that's certainly been our
experience at Meadowbrook. You use the
analogy to the balcony people in your talk and
that's certainly what we have
found. We came to Meadowbrook in June of last
year and in October we found out
that our son Scott was in HIV positive and he
is in California and he was sick
most of October. In his first test he came out
HIV negative and Larry called Jeff
Walling because we knew he was right there in
Mission Viejo where Scott was in a
hospital and Larry said I don't know Jeff but I
know who he is and who he is.
And so Jeff went to see Scott with the
knowledge that he was
possibly HIV positive and here it is February
and Jeff is still in touch with
Scott and he told us that he was going to be
there for Scott until Scott told him
not to be in touch anymore. And Scott had
communicated with me. He said mom Jeff
Walling cares about me. I'd like to read the
introduction to a book you recently
shared with me Bobby called Desires and
Conflict. In the introduction the first
paragraph says the problem of homosexuality
among Christians is one of
the church's best-kept secrets. Though most
believers agree that the cliche
Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven, there
is often an additional though
unspoken agreement that our imperfections still
only so far. We admit that we sin
but only in respectable ways. An occasional
lie, a touch of grief, nothing
drastic. Seldom do we recognize sexual problems
in the church though we
occasionally admit that a Christian might
battle with lust. Rarely ever do we
consider that the object of his or her lust
might be somewhere in the same sex.
Just this past week Larry and I had a
conversation with a Christian counselor
in Appalachia back and he said the single most
family issue that he saw in his
counselor was sexual problems. He said but of
course I'm not just defining homosexuality here,
he said of course no one wants to talk about it.
Then we did find out Scott was
HIV positive although we come to church right
here in Jackson. We live in a small
community and I teach and I just couldn't deal
with selfishly who knew and who
didn't know and so that was part of my
beginning motivation. Plus we have a
24 year old son, we have three sons and our 24
year old son is our youngest and when he was in
college but in his Christian fellowship he saw
that this is a real struggle
within our own fellowship and when he found out
his brother was HIV positive he said
his dad and I, this will be a glory to God. So
he was a parent, he had to come out of the
closet with a statement like that and right
before I flew to California, Larry
was already out there, I went to my GP and he
said to me, he said you're doing the
right thing by being open and I guess I kind of
raised an eyebrow and he said
because you're taking a lot of guilt away from
your son and probably you know
that really gave me some insight that if we,
our physical family, will love
Scott unconditionally and the spiritual family
loves Scott unconditionally then I
believe that's where we truly believe that we
have a hope of bringing him back
to the right relationship with the Lord. We
know of a situation, beautiful
Christian family who had an HIV positive son
and they didn't want anybody to know
and I will respect that and I don't want to
stand and judge them, but dad said I don't want
to bring shame on the
church and the son, HIV, he died and before he
died so many knew that this was imminent but
couldn't reach out to him. I had a beautiful,
beautiful Christian, 80 year old Christian sister
say to me, I want to be there for him but I
can't because I'm not supposed to know and it's
my understanding as a family member and at the
visitation there was so much love and so many
people there. I had someone say they could have
had this all along and that's what Larry and I
experienced and it might be a touch, it might
be a look, it might be a hug, a note, but most
importantly we know all these prayers are going on
on our behalf but more importantly on Scott's
behalf for his physical healing and his
spiritual healing. I have said since we found
out about Scott and I can accept what's ahead
if I can see him in Heaven and that's our hope
and our desire and one of the benefits we've
gotten from being open is that we've had so many
people share such definitive information with
us because as Bobbie and I talked about it's
almost daily that you hear something different
or something new happening in the AIDS research
so I can't glean all that on my own but people
bringing me that information certainly has been
an aid to us. We feel like that we can give
Scott our love, that he sees that we're going
to go on
effectively serving the Lord and we as a church
family have to separate the sin from the sinner
and do what Jesus would do. Scott was here at
Christmastime, we were all together, all the
brothers and their families and he came to
church with us twice at Meadowbrook and the
first time he was very very nervous
and the second time he was very relaxed. He saw
the genuine love and he saw the baffling people
in action and again I just want to say that we
always have to keep our focus on Jesus and what
would he do and we know he went out and touched
the lepers didn't he?
Thank you for listening. I know that was a long
tape to listen to but I thought the emotion you
could hear in Helen's voice and her first hand
experience with this would be beneficial to you
at the end of class if you or anyone that you
know is struggling with this as Christian parents.
Helen and Larry very graciously gave me their
name, mailing address and telephone number and
said they certainly don't have all the answers
but they would be delighted to talk with anyone
who was sharing a similar experience and needed
encouragement so see me after class if you'd
like to have that information.
The word dichotomy means a division into two
usually opposed parts. That's what the church
faces with AIDS. On the one side we have the
obvious condemnation of homosexual behavior by
the scriptures and on the other hand we have
the command to love our neighbors as ourselves
and to take the gospel to the lost.
We are quick to say this is just one time that
can't be done. Surely this is one sin that
cannot be separated from the sinner we say. The
church has got to find a way to separate this
sin from this sinner because Jesus did.
I admit to you that in 1988 and 1989 I could
not separate the sin from the sinner in my
heart. How God can you expect me to care for
the drug addict or the homosexual who is
responsible for taking my beloved Mike from me.
You mean I have to love this person who took my
son's Christian father and best friend from him
so prematurely. This person who brought so much
pain to Mike I have to love him.
Then I heard a tape of an interview between a
Christian counselor and parents whose son had
been killed by a drunk driver. These Christian
parents had eventually baptized that same
driver after offering him their forgiveness and
studying with him.
What peace I heard in their voices. 1 John 4:20
says if anyone says I love God yet hates his
brother he is a liar. For anyone who does not
love his brother whom he has seen cannot love
God whom he has not seen.
Three ACU professors who wrote the book
Shattering the Silence about the sexual habits
of preteens and teens in the churches of Christ
state that one thing teenagers need from the
church today is for the church to be relevant.
David Lewis, Carly Dodd and Darrell Tippins
write being relevant doesn't mean just being
trendy. There is a higher kind of relevance
about which churches ought to be concerned. A
relevance that includes dealing with the issues
of life honestly.
Being concerned and truthful about the problems
of the human condition. Relevance in this sense
which includes a commitment to honest realism
has always characterized biblical Christianity.
We may not like it folks but there is no more
relevant issues for the church today than those
of age, abortion, divorce. We don't like it but
that's what our world is. We'd better be
talking about these issues in the church and
with the same attitude that Jesus had.
Shattering the Silence points out that young
people who attend relevant congregations have a
much higher moral outlook than those who attend
irrelevant congregations.
Well what can the church do to be relevant on
these issues? Should we just throw in the towel
as some religious groups have done and decide
that most of these things just aren't sinful
after all?
Certainly not. We should continue to teach what
the Bible teaches about sin but at the same
time remember to show the compassion and
forgiveness that Jesus did.
Matthew 9:10-13 records, while Jesus was having
dinner at Matthew's house many tax collectors
and sinners came and ate with him and his
disciples. When the Pharisees saw this they
asked his disciples, why does your teacher eat
with tax collectors and sinners?
On hearing this, you know Jesus' answer, he
said, it is not the healthy who need a doctor
but the sick. But go and learn what this means,
he said, I desire mercy and not sacrifice for I
have come not to call the righteous but sinners.
Someone described the church as a hospital for
sinners. I'm sure you've probably heard that
description. I don't think I really understood
that until recently.
I'm a third generation member of the Church of
Christ. One of my grandfathers served as an
elder. Both of my parents were faithful
Christians. My father served as an elder on
boards of two Christian universities and a home
for Christian children. He taught many classes
and made the announcements to open the worship.
Married a Christian and together we served the
church. He is a deacon and a teacher and me
always involved in most of the ways that a
Christian wife can be.
Our son even usually said and did all of the
right things. I tell you all of this because I
know that most of you in this room share a
similar background.
We're the people who usually come to the
lectureships, aren't we? People with that
background. I hope that today I can open your
eyes without all of the trauma that we had to
experience in our family to see what the real
calling of the church is.
My definition of the church in the past was
probably more that of a resort than a hospital.
My attitude was like one I've heard described
on the Christian radio station that says, here
I am. There they are.
Maybe you've had that attitude. Only
superficial compassion for those who didn't
have it as easy as I had it. I was living the
church of Christ dream.
Then my life turned completely upside down.
Suddenly I wasn't mainstream anymore. Suddenly
I was the one sitting on the back queue of the
auditorium, sometimes crying through an entire service.
Suddenly I was the one missing Sunday school
most Sundays because Mike had been sick the
night before. Suddenly I was the one saying,
where are you God? Where are you?
I was the one trying to protect my husband's
good name by explaining over and over how a
Christian man could have AIDS.
I was the one whose son was acting out some of
the frustrations he felt at what had happened
to our family.
And now I'm the one attending service after
service alone. I'm the single who's not a young
professional nor a senior citizen's widow.
I'm the single parent trying to help a son make
that last giant step into adulthood. I'm this
woman going around speaking on AIDS and death
and sex and sickness, things that most
Christians don't want to hear anything about.
No, I'm definitely not mainstream Church of
Christ member anymore.
Joyce Landorf heavily has written a beautiful
little book. It's a little paperback book that
I highly recommend called Balcony People, in
which she puts people into two basic categories.
First, there are the basement people. They are
constantly evaluating, criticizing, telling you
what's wrong with you and why you probably
won't make it, trying to pull you down in that
basement with them.
And then there are the balcony people, the
encouragers, the people who are cheering you on
saying, you can do it. I forgive you. I have
compassion on you.
I've realized that living the Church of Christ
dream as I was is a very sheltered cocoon from
which to judge other people.
If that's where you find yourself today, look
at the pews around you. There are people in the
Church who are hurting.
You cannot fathom the problems that some
Christians are dealing with.
There are people dealing with abuse, divorce,
alcohol, adultery, loneliness, death,
homosexuality, unwanted pregnancy, and AIDS.
Their hearts breaking, struggling just to be on
that pew for maybe one hour a week.
You, with all of your great blessings, must
know that there but for the grace of God go I.
You are called to be balcony people, to
encourage and to lift up these that have fallen.
I don't think I would be here today if I did
not attend a balcony church, a hospital where
wounds can be healed.
As a good friend of mine quotes her minister,
when I have wrecks on Lykes Highway, don't send
the firing squad. Send the ambulance. Isn't
that a beautiful thought?
I've been in the basement, haven't you? It's
dark there. It's lonely there. There's no mercy
in the basement.
My family could not have made it without all of
the people standing on the balcony cheering for
us and waving their coats and whistling,
leaning over the edge of the balcony saying,
you can do it. I'm pulling for you. I know you can.
If you're sitting here saying to yourself,
there's no one in my congregation dealing with
these kind of heavy matters that she's been
talking about, perhaps you're worshiping in the basement.
In a congregation where people are too afraid
of being criticized or ostracized if they
openly tell about the struggles that they're having.
Meadowbrook, the congregation I attend, is a
typical congregation of 475 members and I
personally know of three cases of AIDS and one
gay lifestyle within the extended families of
our members.
Regrettably, more and more congregations will
be facing this issue.
The Christian parents trying to explain how
their daughter is a good girl but just made one
mistake and now she's pregnant or that their
son is a good boy who mistakenly looked for
love in all the wrong places and now has AIDS.
Please, Lord, please put balcony people in
their lives to help carry their load. I pray
that our young people will be in balcony
Christian universities that lift them up when
they fall rather than criticize or discourage.
With the understanding that there are members
of the church who know God and who have
accepted Jesus Christ in baptism who are
dealing with AIDS, can you imagine the
loneliness and the despair of those outside of
God's fellowship who are similarly affected?
Many times throughout Mike's illness he would
say how thankful he was for his family and for
his Christian friends. He'd say, I don't see
how anyone can do this alone.
If we as a church really want to help these
people instead of just sitting on the sidelines
criticizing, let's be like Jesus.
Let's be a source of healing and compassion and
forgiveness. When we sing this old hymn, let's
really mean it. If you don't really mean it,
have you thought about how phony it sings?
It is to sing, rescue the perishing, care for
the dying, snatch them in pity from sin in the
grave, weep for the erring one, lift up the
fallen, tell them of Jesus, the mighty to save.
Are we willing to put our hearts where our
voices are?
I want to play a very brief tape this time that
is a radio spot that our minister David Jackson
is currently running on the radio that just
thrilled me when I first heard it.
To me it's a great example of how a church can
be like Jesus.
I'm David Jackson at the Meadowbrook Church of
Christ. I have a very important message for
anyone struggling over one of life's most
significant dilemmas.
Unwanted pregnancy happens for many reasons to
all sorts of women. Sometimes the issue is
inconvenience. Sometimes there is a more
significant concern.
Because we believe that life is a gift from
God, and we are convinced that many women end
the pregnancy because of a lack of support and
concern, we want to help.
If any woman listening to this message is
considering abortion due to lack of support,
concerns over inadequate medical care, options
of child care after birth, or other sources of
confusion, let us offer our help.
We will assist you in finding medical care from
prenatal on through delivery. We will help with
options after birth. We will search for answers
even to questions unknown ahead of time.
We want you to know that you don't have to face
this time alone. Call the Meadowbrook Church of
Christ where we are truly interested in you and
trying to make a difference in Jackson's life.
Isn't that what Jesus causes us to be?
Different. Different. That's why David always
ends every radio spop that he does.
This is from the Meadowbrook Church of Christ
where we are trying to make a difference in Jackson.
We already have one young mother to be
attending our services. As a result of this
announcement, she is involved in a one-on-one
Bible study with one of our members.
And now she's even begun bringing a friend with
her to church. Who knows how far the ripples
will go from the one rock that was thrown in
the stream.
Well, we're not quite there yet, but I look
forward to the day when David does a radio spot
for Meadowbrook in which he says,
Do you or a family member have AIDS? We don't
want you to face this alone. If you need help
with medical treatment, medical bills, nursing,
food, transportation to the doctor,
counseling, hospice services, or any other
problems that arise in the treatment of this
disease, we want to assist you.
For more information, please contact the
Meadowbrook Church of Christ where we're trying
to make a difference in Jackson. I look forward
to the day we have that spot.
Tell me, if you were a homosexual dying with
AIDS, who could convince you that you were lost
and needed a Savior?
Would it be the priest or the Levite who passed
you by with a condemning look and left you
dying by the side of the road?
Or would it be the Good Samaritan who touched
you and cleansed your wounds and paid for your
hospital expenses?
Over and over, Jesus calls us to be different,
to come up on the balcony with Him, to stand in
the light, to encourage others who were lost to
take that giant step up to the balcony with Him.
It's the only way that we can extend the same
mercy that's been extended to each one of us.
The Beatitudes tell us, blessed are the
merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Thank you.
We have a few minutes.
We have a few minutes. I put a little poem that
I gave credit to the poet.
This was in Joyce Landorf's little book, or
Joyce Landorf Heatherly's little book, Balcony People.
I think it says a lot about who we should try
to reach out to, so I hope it was alright for
me to reprint that.
And I do have the National AIDS Hotline number.
If you know of anyone who's in need of testing,
they can always tell you of a testing center
near your area or a public health office
or any other information that you might want
about AIDS.
And also I have Helen and Larry Whiting, the
Christian couple with the gay son, his name and
address and phone number here.
And again, they made this offer that I should
give you their names and have them talk with
you if they could help you in any way.
Please feel free to ask me any questions that
you have thought of through the series of
lessons we've shared today.
Anybody have a question? Yes.
That's great to know.
And if you live, particularly if you live in a
rural area or a small town and you're not
certain if you have any of these facilities
available to you,
well do take this AIDS Hotline number, the
National Hotline, and they generally can tell
you of the nearest center where you can get
this information.
Are you familiar with the book? How will I tell
my mother?
No, I want to recommend another book and I'm
embarrassed I have it at my hotel room and
forgot to bring it and the author's names are
maybe someone like Wayne,
maybe you know of the book we were talking
about earlier, When Love Is Not Enough.
It's published by the Focus on the Family
People, but it's not James Dobson. It's two
authors and your book sounds good too.
It's by a young man and his brother who is now dead.
Yes, I read excerpts from that book.
It's an excellent book and it would be very helpful.
Yes, and I believe they mentioned that book in
this book called Love Is Not Enough and I
highly recommend that book too and it is
currently I know in the Christian book stores
all over the United States
and it addresses not only the problem of a
child who is a homosexual but many other
problems that we encounter that just our loving
the child doesn't seem to be enough
with drug problems, with promiscuity, you know,
just lots of these horrible things that we're
dealing with today and so I recommend that
and finally we are getting some books in the
Christian book stores that are addressing this issue.
We need in the church especially to make a
distinction between homosexual tendencies and
homosexual behavior.
You know even Jesus was tempted and there are
people who deal with the temptation to express
physical love to a member of the same sex
rather than to a member of the opposite sex
just like I might deal with the temptation to
gossip, the temptation for greed, the
temptation for gluttony, whatever
and there are lots of people in our churches
hurting, dealing with that temptation, trying
desperately not to act on it, not to go on into
the behavior, to stay just with the temptation
but when they're in a basement church who are
they going to go to tell I'm struggling with
this, help me.
So quite often they're throwing in the towel
and saying you know I might as well just go
with it, these folks would never understand this.
That's right.
Years ago a church was brought up in the name
of the church of Christ and in the paper that
said churches who appear to have all the
answers will not allow for these questions
and I think it's a sad situation if a church is
for individual Christian people.
We get to the point that the attitude we
express is that we have all the answers and
examples in the past to questions that we have. Good.
Yes, regrettably it is.
Yes and I struggle with that in working on this
lesson, I don't mind telling you, I thought how
do I say this to not say let's just open the
floodgates and say everything is fine
but as a Christian we've got to change our attitude.
I had to argue this point of responsibility
with the governor and I said well we wouldn't,
we can't in a specific church.
We wouldn't reject an army, we can't help
people who are out in the world.
Well let me say this in all tenderness and compassion.
Men who are straight have more trouble
accepting the homosexual male than females do.
And men are our elders and our leaders in the
church and I understand this, I do.
We teach our little boys from day one not to
express themselves with that type of behavior.
And we carry it to the extreme with macho and
no tears and etcetera, etcetera.
And little boys from day one are taught to
abhor homosexual behavior and rightfully so in
some ways.
No one I don't think wants their son to be homosexual.
But we have done such a good job with that,
that straight men really have trouble showing
any compassion to a homosexual.
And I think the women who are here today, I
want to encourage you to talk to your husbands,
to your brothers,
to your sons, to your elders and try in some
way to not accept the sin, but to make them
compassionate toward the sin.
By what we will before we accept it. 20 years
ago, oh we will, 20 years ago we didn't. We had
a lot of trouble with drugs and pregnancy and
divorce and without condoning these things.
But now we've got, at that time, now we've got
vegans and elders and ministers with family
members who have gone through drugs and divorce
and what have you.
I'm sorry but we've got to suffer with it and
personally face to face before we learn to have
compassion with it on other people.
I don't think that's God's way that we have to
suffer with it in order to do that.
But we will because it's coming. A
homosexuality in the world is right now in all
of our lives.
One out of four or five babies need to be in
church and it will happen to say it wasn't what
it was.
We were also taught to be so emotionally bare.
Emotion doesn't have anything to do with Christianity.
We heard it from the pulpit and we got hellfire
and brimstone burning instead of compassionate burning.
And we are losing the consciousness and
fortunately there are many churches now who
have turned away from it.
Unfortunately those churches are called liberal
churches and thank God for those liberal
churches who have been liberated.
Well and this is not, we don't want to pick on
the church unfairly.
This is a problem, for example, the doctor who
treated Mike receives a lot of criticism in the
local community.
He is a brilliant infectious disease
specialist, very compassionate man and probably
80% of his practice is AIDS.
And I hear people in the community, a lot of
whom still don't know what a personal friend he
is to me,
and I say why does he want to do that? Oh well
you know they go to causes obviously, you know
what that means about them and things like that.
So it's not just in the church, it's out in the
community too.
As a therapist I get that kind of response from
people all the time.
The issue with homosexuality is why I believe
in the eyes of God there is no difference
between the eyes of God and the eyes of people.
Gender and sexual identity is the core of who
we are as people.
God said there's altogether a different thing.
We're talking about the very core of who we are
as people.
And that's a cusp for a human to break through.
And it's interesting to me that you talk about
separating the sins from the sinner
and being able to embrace someone dealing with homosexuality,
not feeling like we're condoning behavior and
how we find ourselves pulled between that tension.
And yet every time we listen to someone
gossiping or condoning that behavior, we are
masters at condoning behavior.
We do it consciously.
But this last frontier as far as I'm concerned
has to do with sexual identity, gender
identity, it's huge.
And all of this that motivates Homophobia is
just extremely complex.
I pray too that one day communities will break through.
Anyone else have a question or statement?
I can tell you a personal viewpoint.
I recently got married to my husband.
And then I went to my boss at work and I went
to the hospital.
My boss told me that he had been hearing rumors
about me having HIV.
And that my peers were worried about sitting at
my chair using the same tool that I use.
And he said, you don't have to tell me this,
but I just wanted to let you know that they
express a concern about you.
You don't have to tell me whether you have HIV
or not.
I told him I was not, but the man I was
marrying said.
Well, it exists and that's why I'm open to this
session with a statement about if we can
educate people.
When you don't know much about a subject, you
are more afraid than if you know a great deal.
And that's what this series has been all about.
So particularly if you've been here all three
sessions that you feel like you know a great
deal more about AIDS.
And it is a scary thing if you don't know
anything about it.
People are dying and we want to live.
And so until you know the facts, you're fearful.
Because you don't want to be sick and hurt and
suffer and die like that person with AIDS that
you've seen.
So it is frightening.
I beg you, read and know and learn and I can
tell that you're the type who want to or you
wouldn't have been here today.
And then armed with information, you can
approach these people and be compassionate and
caring and reach out and perhaps help someone
save their very soul.
Well, thank you. If no one else has questions,
put your umbrellas up and head out.