Cooper Review (Cooper, Tex.), Vol. 131, No. 47, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 24, 2011 Page: 4 of 8
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Cooper Review - Page 4
Thursday, Nov. 24,2011
An Unknown identity: Local adoptee tells her story
November is National Adoption Month, a time to raise awareness
about the adoption of children and youth from foster care
Editor’s Note: At a recent
Lions Club meeting I told
my story of my adoption.
By Cindy Roller
Editor
At 21, I again contacted
Registry Administrator Marva
Tarvin at Catholic Charities.
In her kind voice she informed
me that sometime between
when I was 18 and 21 that
be the mature parents you
deserved at that point in our
lives - but you were never
far from our thoughts or
hearts. I have a baby ring
and cross similar to the ones
we gave you at birth - sym-
bolizing our unending faith
and love for you. On your
fifth birthday, we married
and have spent 16 years
creating a life together and
remembering you on each
anniversary.
We understand from early
information supplied by
Catholic Charities that your
parents went on to adopt
your brother. We also have a
son, Aaryn, who is 10 years
old. He is very eager to meet
i(his sister, ” as he consid-
ers you. We told him several
years ago about you and ex-
plained the photo we keep by
the bed was your baby pic-
ture. We hope you and your
brother will open your hearts
to Aaryn as a brother as
well. He has included a letter
and a photo for you and said
he wants to “make a good
impression so she’ll come
back to see us again!”...
There’s so much to
share... We believe you are
as eager as we are. We have
prayed you have lived a
healthy, happy, loving life
and look forward to meeting
you soon.
As always,
we offer - our love,
Karyn and Tony
Imagine my surprise to
read their words and learn the
amount of honor my parents
held for me. We decided to
meet at Applebee’s, a neutral
location equal in distance be-
tween our homes.
I had not yet given them
any photos as I was still a bit
unsure. When he saw me en-
ter the restaurant, Tony knew
it had to be me, as I am ev-
ery bit their child. My looks,
height, build even my voice
and laugh were the complete
combination of my genes.
I was given a copy of a
photo from when I was born -
in the arms of my grandmoth-
er (Karyn’s mom). They also
gave me one of their wedding
invitations and a hat box full
of ornaments.
This was no ordinary box
of ornaments. They had been
collected and saved especially
for me by my other grand-
mother (Tony’s mom) in a
hand-crafted lacy hat box with
a heart stitched on the top.
Every year, she gave or-
n a Friday afternoon
I ll decided it was time
after over 12 years to
share my story for an audience
of adoptive parents. However
I have spent a lifetime decid-
ing how it would go.
I was welcomed by a room of
adoptive parents at the “If You
Were Mine” adoption seminar
offered by the Compassion for
the Fatherless organization
held at the New Beginnings
Fellowship Baptist Church in
Sulphur Springs.
There I stood, poised in front
of complete strangers waiting
to hear my story - one that I
consider to almost be a fairy
tale. It started when I was
three weeks old. On Jan. 7, I
was adopted. Little did I know
how this event would alter the
entire direction of my life.
I consider my mom and dad
to be the generous couple that
came to Catholic Charities in
search of a child - one, they
weren’t able to conceive them-
selves or so they were told by
doctors. In my opinion, they
earned that recognition. Two
years later, my parents adopt-
ed my brother from another
family, and the following year
gave birth to my sister.
I lived my entire youth
knowing I was adopted, which
led to many questions of how
long I had known and why
my parents chose to tell me.
In fact, my favorite response
is that they had to tell me be-
cause I didn’t look like either
of them. It wasn’t something I
was ever ashamed of or tried
to hide. I even wrote a paper
in school that was titled, “My
Unknown Identity,” describ-
ing what it felt like to be that
special adoptee and how curi-
ous and eager I was to know
more about my background.
So at the age of 18 with the
help of my parents I did just
that - sought out my biologi-
cal parents. We contacted the
agency, but to my dismay, I was
told that it was required that I
be 21 years old to continue the
search. My hopes were dashed
again, only to continue on as I
had before - living in wonder.
Between the ages of 18-20, I
married and had a child. These
events created an even bigger
desire to know more about my
background and even more so
my medical history.
the regulation requiring me to
be 21 was moved back to 18.
One can imagine my thoughts
upon hearing that news. Now,
the only stipulation was that
my biological parents must
also voluntarily register to
also find me before any infor-
mation could be exchanged.
After completing the neces-
sary paperwork for the Volun-
tary Adoption Registry, pay-
ing the fee and going through
the professional mental health
session, it was finally time to
write my letter to my parents.
On Feb. 4, 1998,1 received
a letter from Ms. Tarvin stat-
ing that a match had been
established and that my let-
ter was being forwarded to
my biological parents. It had
been just over a month since
my birthday. My parents and
I knew that I was given up
to Catholic Charities mainly
because my biological par-
ents were young and desired
a better life for me than what
they believed they could pro-
vide. We were also under the
impression that my biological
father was no longer in the
picture.
Just prior to our reunion on
Feb. 8,1 received a letter from
my biological parents. An ex-
cerpt from it reads:
Dear Cindy,
We were so thrilled to hear
that you wanted to meet us.
Tony and I spent the rest of
the day in a joyful, confused
state. We called friends and
family who would share in
our happy news. It has al-
ways been our fondest wish
that you would live a full,
loving young life and seek
us out after you reached
adulthood. We would love to
learn all about you and your
family and how you have
grown up. We would also
like to offer you a “rather
large” extended family of
relatives and friends, if you
are willing.
I know you have many
unanswered questions about
your birth circumstances
- so very long ago! Some-
times I wonder who that
couple was who held you
when you were three days
old and released you in faith
to your parents. Believe that
we loved you and each other,
but we knew we could not
naments to each of the grand-
children, and mine were
designated “Love Child.” (I
cherish these gifts as both of
my grandmothers have since
passed away.)
My adoptive parents didn’t
accompany me at the initial
meeting. It was just me and
my husband. My mom said
they wanted me to decide
whether or not to pursue this
relationship of my own will.
But after reading Karyn and
Tony’s letter, I had gone past
the point of no return.
Tony, Karyn and Aaryn re-
turned with us to the home
where I was raised and where
my parents continue to live
today. They were welcomed
with open arms by my par-
ents and family. In March of
that year my biological fam-
ily hosted an open house wel-
coming our three families and
other friends.
Through the years we have
shared births, birthdays, wed-
dings, anniversaries, deaths
and all the experiences and
blessed memories life has
to offer. I often joke that this
reunion was easy for me, but
can you imagine after only one
year of marriage to inherit an-
other set of in-laws. My hus-
band has been a rock of accep-
tance as has all of our family. I
credit him with deeming Tony
and Karyn with the references
our children call them, Gran-
daddy and Grandmommy.
We continue to celebrate
Feb. 8 as “our anniversary
day,” our fairy tale. It serves
as a reminder to me that I no
longer have an unknown iden-
tity, but one full of the perfect
combination of environment
and heredity.
I hope my story might in-
spire prospective adoptive par-
ents or those considering the
adoption alternative. Whether
it is nationally or internation-
ally, adoption can change the
life of a child.
Every 18 seconds a child be-
comes an orphan and 127,000
foster care children are eligible
for adoption.
Cooper Review Editor Cindy Roller wears a locket with the
photos of both of her parents around her neck as a reminder
to be thankful for her blessings.
CRIMSON RIVER C0WR0Y CHURCH
Helping Our Community
Sunday, Nov. 27 at 3 p.m
on the Square
The Church will be handing out stew
to those in need. If you are disabled
and would like delivery of a jar,
please call 903-495-5011
FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
Effective Nov. 1,2011
Breakfast: 9:15 a.m.
Sunday School: 9:50 a.m.
Worship: 10:50 a.m.
200 SW 1st Street-Cooper
Phone: 903-395-4263
Pastor Steve Cook
Annual Community
Thanksgving Dinner
11:30 a.m.-l p.m.
eat in or carry out
Call for Reservations 903-395-4263
Happy Thanksgiving!
■Remember to count
your blessings!
Floral designs to accent your home decor
m
Worship at the Local Church of your choice
• BEN FRANKLIN
Baptist Hill
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
United Methodist
9 a.m. Sunday Service
Community Church
(Non-Denomina tion)
10:30 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
Ben Franklin United Methodist
9:30 a.m. Sunday Service
• BIRTHRIGHT
North Hopkins Community
Church (starting Dec. 4)
10 a.m. Sunday Service
• CHARLESTON
First United Methodist
9:00 a.m. Coffee
9:30 a.m. Sunday Service
10:20 a.m. Sunday School
• COOPER
Apostolic Way
10:30 a.m. Bible Class
11:15 a.m. Sunday Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
Calvary Baptist
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
10:50 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
Calvary Temple Family Church
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
10:45 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
Church of Christ
9:30 a.m. Sunday School
10: 20 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:30 p.m. Wednesday Service
Corinth Baptist Church
9:00 a.m. Sunday School
10:45 a.m. Sunday Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Bible
Study
Crimson River Cowboy
Church
10:30 Sunday Service
6:30 p.m. Wednesday
Faith Independent Baptist
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
First Assembly of God
10:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday NFL
First Baptist Church
8:45 a.m. Traditional Blend
Services 10:00 a.m. Sunday
School
11:00 a.m. Contemporary
Services
6:00 p.m. Traditional Worship
Service
Wednesday
5:15 p.m. Family Meal
6:00 p.m. Adult/Youth/Children
Study
8:00 p.m. College
First United Methodist
9:50 a.m. Sunday School
10:50 a.m. Morning Worship
5:30 p.m. Wednesday Prayer
time
New Zion Baptist
11:00a.m. 1st & 3rd Sundays
Mt. Zion CME
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
7:00 p.m. Evening Service
New Life Baptist
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
10:45 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
Grace Worship Center
Services 10:00 a.m. & 6 p.m.
Wednesday 7:30 p.m.
Calvary Temple Family Church
9:30 a.m. Sunday School
10:45 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
Friendship House of Praise
Community Church
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:30 p.m. Monday Night Mission
6:30 p.m. Wed. Night Bible Band
Seventh Day Adventist
9:30 a.m. Sabbath School
11:00 a.m. Worship Service
St. Clare Catholic Mission
11:00 a.m. Sunday Mass
• EAST DELTA
East Delta Baptist Church
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
10:45 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Adult Bible
Study
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
6:30 p.m. Youth
• ENLOE
Enloe Baptist
10:00 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
Enloe Methodist Church
9:45 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Wednesday Game
Night
7:30 p.m. Wednesday Service
Victory Temple
10:00 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
7:30 p.m. Wednesday Service
• HORTON
Faith Chapel Church of God
10:00 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
• KLONDIKE
Klondike Church
10:00 Sunday School
10:45 Sunday Service
6:00 Sunday Evening Service
7:00 Wednesday Service
Klondike Church of Christ
9:45 a.m. Sunday School
10:45 a.m. Sunday Service
Blackland Country Church
Klondike Community Center
6:30 p.m. Wednesday Bible
Study
10:30 a.m. Sunday Worship
• LAKE CREEK
Mt. Joy Church
10:00 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
5th Sunday’s Dinner
• PACIO
Pacio Baptist Church
10:00 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:30 p.m. Evening Service
6:30 p.m. Wednesday Service
• PECAN GAP
First Baptist Church
10:00 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
6:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
First United Methodist
9:30 a.m. Sunday Service
10:30 a.m. Sunday School
Friendship Baptist Church
10:00 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
6:00 p.m. Evening Service
7:00 p.m. Wednesday Service
Mt. Zion Baptist
9:30 a.m. Sunday School
11:00 a.m. Sunday Service
COOPER PROPANE CO.
21 North Side Square
903-395-2124
FIRST NATIONAL BANK
11 West Side Square
903-395-2131
DELTA FUNERAL HOME
451 S. W. First Street,
Cooper
903-395-2165
MILLER’S PHARMACY &
SODA FOUNTAIN
100 E. Dallas Ave.
903-395-2161
DELTA COUNTY TITLE &
ABSTRACT CO.
61 West Side Square
903-395-4116
CUMBY TELEPHONE
COOPERATIVE, INC
80 South Side Square
903-300-3000
aT
Up
Santa and the Elves
have been busy!
Stop by and see us at Floral Depot and Gift Shoppe
for all your Holiday needs!
Let us be your ONE stop Holiday Shop!
Holiday wreaths
Green plants ~ Norfolk Pines
Fresh arrangements
Fresh green wreaths
Poinsettias (call for pricing)
Contract home decorating
Christmas cemetery designs
(903) 300-3345
30 East Side Square Cooper, Texas 75432
Merry Christmas from all of us
at Floral Depot and Gift Shoppe
Step back in time as docents in period
costume greet you for your tour of four
beautiful historic homes adorned with
trimmings of the Victorian era with fresh
greenery and candlelight.
Enjoy free music concerts every evening at
the historic Cumberland Presbyterian Church.
Stroll through the Enchanted Forest and enjoy
dozens of decorated Christmas trees.
December 1-3 & December 8-10
Thursday - 3:00pm to 7:00pm
Friday & Saturday - 5:00 pm to 9:00pm
Adult tickets $15 • Children $2
For more information or
to purchase tickets online visit
www. historicaljeffersonfoundation. com
or call 903-665-7064
it? C^jeAcaA
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Roller, Cindy. Cooper Review (Cooper, Tex.), Vol. 131, No. 47, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 24, 2011, newspaper, November 24, 2011; Cooper, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth805268/m1/4/: accessed April 19, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Delta County Public Library.