Texas Gulf Coast Catholic (Corpus Christi, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, August 9, 1974 Page: 2 of 6
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TEXAS GULF COAST CATHOLIC
Friday. August!). 197-1
The Sacred Heart and the Holy Year
' “Do I Love My Husband Too Much?"
I love my husband more than be loves me.
He denies it, and sometimes he is angry when
I confront him with this fact.
We have been married seven years and
bare one mIW. Both of us work. We have a
fairly comfortable life, but there is such an
emptiness I feel when I see other lovtng and
I have to remind my husband of our an-
niversary or my birthday. Otherwise he lets
the occasion pass by without any gift. He has
never sent me a card on Valentine's Day.
I am not childish, but I long for a more
loving and companionable marriage. Our sex
life is satisfactory, but even there I feel my
husband performs the act as a duty. He never
tells me that he loves me. We are in our early
It is poesbile that you and your husband
have drifted toward a shallow unsatisfactory
relationship because neither of you has
revealed you inner self to the other.
When a woman declares that she loves her
husband more than he loves her, this might
truly mean that she is more dependent nr
him, or had expectations of happiness that
are not realistic in terms of the two per-
sonalities that are meshing in this specific
A woman may assume that some other
husband and wife are happier together
because she may equate love with physical
affection displayed between a man and a
woman in a public place. Or it may be that she
is secretly envious when a neighbor shows off
a new coat, car, or other expensive gift as a
symbol of love. These are external ex-
pressions, however, and do not necessarily
mean that there is an abiding bond of love in
What you are searching for appears to be
more intangible than a gift on your birthday
or flowers on Valentine’s Day.
Perhaps you may wish to consider a direct*
approach and simply tell your husband that
you long for some special token of affection on
days of the year that have unique significance
Of course, you may be reluctant to tell your
husband, for you may reason that if he has to
be told, he doesn’t care very much * •’out you.
T^iis is not necessarily so in our ► tic age
by James J. Rue, Ph. D.
when a husband and father has many
responsibilities You can discern between the
haif-hearted gift and an enthusiastic token of
Apart from these expressions of love, you
should confine in your husband and tell him
that you wish to cultive a more intimate
relationship, not only sexually, but in other
spheres of life. When you share common
interests, goals, and struggles, usually the
ties of love and loyalty deepen.
You may begin by recollecting some of the
qualities that first appealed to you in your
husband during your courtship and early
married years. Have you allowed some
special interests you shared then to wither or
stagnate? Do you take the time to go to dinner
and enjoy some recreation together at least
once a month?
Ask yourself whether you allow your
husband the right to privacy and individuality
as well. Just as there should be a time for
sharing in marriage, there should be oc-
casions when husband or wife may wish to
pursue some interest or hobby on an in-
dividual basis or with other friends.
Sometimes a wmnan may criticize or place
obstacles in the path of her husband’s
recreational interests that do not include her.
This merely discourages the average
husband from responding enthusiastically
when his wife wants him to participate in
some activity that she enjoys.
Again, you may analyze the family
backgrounds in which each of you was reared.
There are all kinds of emotional en-
vironments that provide love for family
members. Some families make every bir-
thday and holiday a special event even in-
cluding distant relatives. Others prefer more
If your husband come from a family where
there was not much “display" in terms of
sharing, sexual affections, arguements and
reconciliations, then he may feel un-
comfortable because your expectations do not
coincide with his family pattern.
The crucial determinant in your situation is
motivation. Assuming that you informed your
husband of your feelings, do you believe he is
motivated to participate more fully in a
By a providential coincidence the Holy
Year, announced by His Holiness Paul VI for
the whole world and for Home (1973-1975)
coincides with the Third Centenary of the
apparition of the Sacred Heart of Jesus to St.
Maragret Mary Alacoque (1673-1675)...
The first apparition took place on 27
December 1673...Tho Saint describes the first
manifestation of the acred Heart of Jesus as
follows: " The Co- said to me: My Divine
Heart loves men so deeply that it can no
longer contain the flames of its burning
charity. It must pour them forth through you
and manifest itself to them to enrich them
with its precious treasures, which contain all
the graces they need to be saved from per-
The exact date of the second apparition is
not known...St Margaret Mary describes the
apparition as follows:
"Once, when the Blessed Sacrament was
exposed, my soul being absorbed in ex
traordinary concentration, Jesus Christ, my
sweet Master, appeared before me. He was
respledent with glory. His five wounds shone
like five suns. Flames darted from every part
of His human form, but especially from his
adorable breast, which seemed a furnace,
and which, being open, presented to me his
loving and lovable Heart, the living source of
While Maragret contemplated Him,
trembling with emotion, “He revealed to
me", she says, "the ineffable marvels of his
pure love and to what excess it had driven
Him out of love for men, from whom He
received only ingratitude. This is, He said, far
more painful for me than what I suffered in
my Passion. If men were to give me some
love in exchange for mine, I would consider
what I did for them a little thing and I would
desire, if this were possible, to suffer again;
but they meet my love with coldness and
rejection. Will you at least. He said in con-
clusion, console me and comfort me, making
up. in every way you can, for their
You and your husband may benefit from
marriage counseling in the sense that there is
so much more latent satisfaction and hap-
piness to be shared if only you knew how to
uncover this treasure. A perceptive and
compassionate counselor can guide both of
you toward self-discovery and a more
profound loving relationship.
The Spirit In Action
We think that it is time to give a run-down
about what matters fall under the seal of
professional secrecy. In an earlier column the
distinction between the natural and
professional secret was clearly spelled out.
Certainly the doctor and nurse as well as
other professional people learn many things
about those whom they come in contact with;
this must be classified as natural secret,
rather than professional secret. First, the
doctor and the nurse have received a highly
specialized training and it often happens that
this training will cause them to perceive
certain facts and backgrounds, not ordinarily
known, about persons whom they are to treat
as patients or as requesting and needing
expert advice. When such knowledge is not
within the domain of the community in
general and when the manifestation of it
might do any possible harm to the one to
whom it belongs, then anyone obtaining it in
his-her professional capacity is bound to
silence in force of the natural secret.
Likewise, while attending a patient, a
doctor or nurse may frequently come into the
possession of knowledge which does not fall
under the heading of professional secret. This
could likely take place in our dealing with a
lawyer, counselor or social worker, rather
than with any member of the medical
profession, because with the former secret
may possibly assume a much broader sense,
while the knowledge acquired by the nurse or
doctor may be of a mi'ch deeper kind of in-
timacy compared to ti. - m the possession of
the others just mentioned. Such confidence
are obtained on the occasion of the exercise of
medical practice rather than in the actual
exercise of the medical position itself. As a
principle, it might be stated that any secrets
that a doctor or nurse acquire upon the oc-
casion of the exercise of their office fall under
the natural secret.
Now, so that confidential information may
fall under the professional secret, certain
definite rules must be observed: (a)
Knowledge must be truly secret before it can
become matter of the professional secret. If,
for instance, a person has epilepsy,
Then the Lord asked her for two things,
first, to receive Holy Communion cn the first
Friday of every month to make reparation to
Him; second, to get up between eleven and
midnight between Thursday and Friday of
every week, to prostrate herself for an hour
with her face on the ground, in expiation of
men’s sins and to console his Heart for that
general abandonment, of which weakness of
the Apostles on the Mount of Olives had been
only the prelude”.
The last of the great apparitions of the
Sacred Heart took place on 16 June 1675.
".. Here, Hesaid to her, is that heart that so
loved men that it spared itself nothing, to the
point of exhausting and consuming itself to
bear witness to its love In exchange I receive
from most people only ingratitude owing to
their irreverence and sacrileges and the
coldness and contempt they have for me in
the Sacrament of my love. And what is more
painful for me, the Saviour added, in a tone
that touched the Sister's heart, is that they
are hearts consecrated to me."
Then he commanded her that a special
feast should be set up in the Church in honour
of the Sacred Heart...
Our Parish Council
There’s this run-
down apartment building in your neigh-
borhood, and you can’t seem tn get anywhere
You have written to the owners, and they
You talk to your neighbors about a block
club and suggest that by banding together you
might be able to get city hall to enforce the
Some of them look blank, shrug, and, the
ones that really get your anger up say, "You
can’t fight city hall!”
Or, you are really serious about doing
something to get some real participation and
some gusto singing into your parish worship
Though a few people respond to your view,
even fewer believe that anything can be done.
EXCUSE TO REST
You punch away at a problem and the wall
of opposition seems to give in slightly, and
then bounce back and everything looks the
same (like a marshmallow that doesn’t show
it has been squeezed)—and that easy chair
and beer in front of the TV looks inviting
Too often leaders see something to be done,
but then expect other people to automatically
take up their enthusiasms.
When they do not respond, many would-be
leaders charge their potential followers and
co-workers with “apathy.”
The problem may not be their apathy, but
the leader’s failure to explore the true in-
terests of his listeners and the real needs of
Fr. Ignatius P. Checutt
pneumonia, cancer, tuberlosis or any other
disease or infectious condition, such
knowledge could not possibly be port of the
professional secret, provided that knowledge
is commonly known within the community.
(b) Such knowledge must be valid matter for
a secret. Thus, there are accasions when
secrets must be revealed. We shall discuss
this point in a later column. At present, this
simple example will suffice: persons who
upon examination have been found to have
certain infectious diseases cannot expect the
knowledge of such diseases to be hushed up.
The welfare of the community demands
proper immunization that will prevent the
disease from spreading, (c) The confidential
information must not only be received by a
member of the medical profession, but. what
is more important, must be given to him in his
professional capacity. Because, it is after a
patient has established a professional
relationship with the doctor or nurse by
seeking their services that the keeping of
professional secrecy is required. Hence, any
information given to a doctor or nurse merely
as a friend, will fall under the natural,
promised or entrusted secret, according to
The apparitions, which we have presented,
are at the origin of that ever-increasing
devotional movement which, with the ap-
proval of the Church, especially Pius IX, Leo
XIII, Pius XI, Pius XII. was to assume a
liturgical and public form and becorre the
liturgical cult of the Heart of Jesus. F
The cult is still revelant, valid and
recognized by the liturgical reform, carried
out under the directives of His Holiness Paul
VI, in conformity with the decisions of the II 1
Vatican Ecumenical Council...
The sure and solid expression of devotion to
the Heart of Jesus, that is, to the divine and
human redeeming Love of Jesus, symbolized
by his pierced Heart giving forth Blood and
water consists essentially in con-
secration.that is, in renewing one’s life,
directing it to God and to observance of his ;
law...and in atonement, that is, in eliminating
and expiating sin...
To live devotion to the Sacred Heart of ,
Jesus means, therefore, living interior and L
supernatural renewal and the interior
reconciliation of men with God, which is the
ultimate cause of all true peace in our world.
This was brought home to me in a living
room discussion in our neighborhood.
A group of us were discussing the topics
that we thought our neighbors might be in-
terested in acting upon.
The usual talk of “apathy" came up.
When several of us tried to knock it down, a
Lutheran minister ended the argument by
asking us (the majority were Catholics),
"How concerned are you for the Lutheran
missions in Africa?"
We had to admit that we hadn't even
thought about such missions, but we would
not describe ourselves as apathetic to them.
ONE STEP MORE
I’m not telling you anything new—for you *
have been using this knowledge every day in
your conversations. ■
When you meet a person and share a talk, *
you usually skip lightly over a number of
topics until you find a subject of mutual in- g
Thesame practice applies in getting action..
To get action, you must not only tell about a
need, but you have to listen to the person
whom you are trying to motivate to act.
So-called apathy can be overcome when you
act with people on things that have im-
mediate, recognizable concern to “us.’’
Don’t worry if the first actions do not fall
into your list of priorities. For the more ac-
tions taken, and the broader the concept of -
“us” grows, the more action will become ;
(C) 1974, Voice Publications. Bernard ;
Lyons is editor of COUNCIL Newsletter. For »
a free copy of COUNCIL, write to P.O. Box V k
3455, Chicage, II 60654.
the stipulation under which it was handed out.
Of course, the precise nature of the released
information, and agreement thereof, would
determine which of the above secrets is in-
volved. Finally, all confidential Information
about a patient obtained by a doctor or nurse ,
in the course of their professional practice ’
must be kept unquestionably secret. Here it is
obvious that neither the doctor nor the nurse p
must abuse the confidence entrusted to them,
that is, they are not the judges in what is more
intimate than any other article owned by the
patient. A secret is something that is private. <-
There are times when doctor and nurse would ’*
give out a secret, or part of ", upon a
“reasonably presumed consent" of the ,
patient. However, this should happen very <>
rarely. Frequent and unnecessary.'
presumptions upon the consent of the patient -;
are violations of his rights to secrecy. One last •
word on this important matter, namely, about '
the way confidential information may be
obtained, which is either orally, by writing,
signs of any type, observation or physical
examination. Needless to say, the -w
professional secret binds stiffly regardless of
the manner in which it is aquired.
“VVe cannot live the Holy YeaR as
faithful and Responsible people unless
toe Hue in pRayeR and by pRayeR”
—Reo.J. Solano, SJ.
texas gulf coast
C A T H O L I C
PvblUhW weekly, except ttw lav week oi December sod me im? week <X Jwly.
Official Newspaper of the Diocese of Corpus Christi
President.........................Most Rev, Thom a a J, Drury, D, D.
Editor and Jniwu Manager................Father Raymond Pern
Circulation Manager...............................Mra. Irene Doyle
Advertising Manager...............................Mra. Alice Price
Address all communications to:
TEXAS GULF COAST CATHOLIC
/’. O. Box 2584. Corjt-o.y Christ!, Texas 78403
Telephone 882-6191 Ext. 34
Price $4.00 per year
Entered as Second Class Matter United States Post Office
Corpus Christi, Texas
Listen to Get
Others to Act
by Bernard Lyons
The Subject Matter of a Secret
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Pena, Raymond. Texas Gulf Coast Catholic (Corpus Christi, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, August 9, 1974, newspaper, August 9, 1974; Corpus Christi, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth835560/m1/2/: accessed November 12, 2018), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; .