The Lampasas Daily Leader (Lampasas, Tex.), Vol. 30, No. 286, Ed. 1 Wednesday, February 7, 1934 Page: 3 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Lampasas Area Newspaper Collection and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Lampasas Public Library.
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THE LAMPASAS LEADED
AN INFERENCE
During a history lesson the teacher
pointed out to the class that a sur-
name often indicated the trade of
the ancestors of those who bore the
name. He gave the obviously simple
examples of Smith, Taylor, Baker,
and others.
Then he questioned one of the
boys: “What were your ancestors,
Webb?”
“Spiders, sir!”—London Tit-Bits.
Proceeding Scientifically
“Guess 1 may as well come to it,”
said Farmer Corntossel.
“Come to what?”
“Studyin’ the science of gettin’
profit out of worthless material. I’m
goin’ to write to the head nursery-
man of the Department of Agricul-
ture and get him to send me one of
those bulletins about graftin’.”
Call a Plumber
City Boy—Say, dad. how many
kinds of milk are there?
Father—Well, there's evaporated
milk, buttermilk, malted milk and—
but why do you wish to know?
“Oh, I’m drawing a picture of a
cow and I want to know how many
spigots to put on her.”—Farm Jour-
nal. _
Satisfactory
Visitor—You don’t mean to tell me
that you have lived in this out-of-the-
way place for over thirty years?
Inhabitant—1 have.
Visitor—But, really, 1 cannot see
what you can find to keep you busy.
Inhabitant—Neither can I—that’s
why I like it!
Political Unrest
“Do you believe that politics makes
strange bed fellows?”
“Yes,” answered Senator Sorghum.
“But the fact brings no repose.
Trouble is always caused by the man
who wants to grab all the covers and
kick the other fellow out.”
Scarecrows
“Must be a lot of gentlemen farm-
ers around here.”
“Yeh-uh?”
“Never saw so many scarecrows
wearing evening dress.”—Louisville
Courier-Journal.
CLASSIFIED
Father—I can’t find an account ol
your football game on the sporting
>age.
Son—We were slaughtered. Look
in the obituary column.
May Never Know
Guest—Do you make a reduced
rate in this hotel if one stays more
than a week?
Porter—’Deed, boss, I don’t know.
Nobody has ever been able to stick
it out here as long as a week.
Quick Thinking
Pa—Johnny, what is this “60” on
your report card?
Johnny—I—I think that’s the tem-
perature of the schoolroom.—Brook-
lyn Daily Eagle.
EVERYWHERE
OUR COMIC SECTION
Talented
FINNEY' OF THE FORCE
I SAY, OFFICER, THERE* U'
ARE A LOT OF SEEDY ||p
LOG'KlM G- CHAPS
HEREABOUT-- DOKlV \
Tb/J THINK You SHOULDJ
VAJETB-D THEM OUT
A BIT*? M-
( 5AY— THERE ARB A
LOT OF MEN Vsf HO <
ENidbNTLY HAVE" Mo \
MEANS of support
--WHO ARE A DRAG-
UpON THE COMM UNlTY* ■
DO Yez.
M EA NJ
\ these
\ NOW
HUH f Ol
MB AM —
Be<t
FARDOM,
SOR.
OH— AM AR
Perhaps —
THOUGHT H
WAS a
mendicant
WHO HIM^
WHY* Give Him
a PINOL AM’
HE KlkJ MAKE*
% 20 A PAY
WELL— AH— l COULDN'T
say— blit tare- that
•ghIAP Across the
street—i dare
say he never.
EARNED a DIME j
© Western Newspaper Union
J
Wifely Wisdom
THE FEATHERHEADS
( EAT LUNCH TOO ETHER,
SUITS ME, \
FUT WHERE. 1
Will we
leave them?
SHALL we GET _ N
OUR WIVES To^ElHEP.
SOME: EVEMlNCj- r-r-
ANP PUT OKI A J
xj 81Cs KllCsHT '
SEE EACH OTHER AT
WORK-BUT WE
HARDLY EVER GET ^
together outside
of BUSINESS HOURS
I HAD my wallet
WELL-You CAN SAY |Sl
what You please, ^
PUT MY "WIFE SAVED J
ME FROM l
robbed of RlfXY w
dollars yesterday
N BY A PICKPOCKET; ^
found she had taken
MONEY OUT FIRST AND
U£JHT SOME CLOTHES F
SHE Did <
what did she
pO— SCREAM
FOR HELP?
NOT MATES
“How did you get such a bruised
eye, George?”
“Well, I was out looking for trouble
and this eye was the first to find it.”
OH, MERCY!
He—What’d you do if 1 kissed you?
She—Oh, I’d probably grin and
bear it.
OUCH!
“Willie, can you name the chief
product of China?”
“Yessum. Trouble.”
Dorothy—Why do people use the
expression, “in the dead of winter?”
Leonard—Because it is usually short-
ly after the holidays when every one
is dead broke.
YOUNG AMERICA
Mother—My! My! Weren’t you a
lucky boy to get so mauy nice pres-
ents?
Tommy—Yep. Wot’m I going to get
nex’ birthday?
He—Often when I look up at the
stars in the firmament I can’t help
thinking how small, how insignificant
I am.
She—Indeed. And is it the only time
that that thought strikes you?
WELL POSTED
Sees Great Reduction
in Infant Mortality
Half of the babies born in the fu-
ture will live to be at least seventy-
live years old, Dr. Louis I. Dublin,
life insurance statistician, recently
predicted. This means adding ten
full years to the present life expecta-
tion. Part of this will be accom-
plished by further reduction of in-
fant mortality.
“But more important is the real
possibility of reducing the unneces-
sarily high mortality of persons in
the middle ranges of life,” Doctor
Dublin said. “The present mortality
of persons between fifty and sixty-
five years of age can be reduced by
at least 30 per cent through the ap-
plication of known principles to per-
sonal hygiene. There is every rea-
son to believe that this will be ac-
complished in the course of the next
generation during which time em-
phasis will be placed more ana more
on what the individual can do for
himself in leading a hygienic life.’*
Make this lip test
T OOK at them . . . and your cheeks, too, without:
I j make-up. Do they possess the natural glow of
health, which comes from a sufficiency of rich, red
blood? If they do, make-up is simple ... if they don’t
read on . . . you may find one of the reasons why your
skin is not clear and rosy.
You cannot have red lips, rosy cheeks, energy and
cheerfulness if your blood is in a run-down condition.
Lack of hemo-glo-bin, the red coloring of the blood,
may also indicate a weakened condition of the body
. . . loss of strength . . . poor appetite.
5.5.5. is not just a so-called tonic but a tonic spe-
cially designed to stimulate gastric secretions, and also
having the mineral elements so very, very necessary in
restoring a low hemo-glo-bin content. If your condi-
tion suggests a blood tonic of this kind, try S.S.S.
Unless your case is exceptional, you should soon no-
tice a pick-up in your appetite . . . your color and skin
should improve with increased strength.
5.5.5. is sold by all drug stores in two sizes . . . the
larger is more economical. © The S.S.S. Co.
Deduction
Lotts—Dobson’s peculiar ! Owns a
car and owes me $5!
Potts—Only five? How little he
drives it!
More Like It
Fortune Teller—I warn you; a
dark man is about to cross your path.
Motorist—Better warn the dark
man.
Here’s Quickest, Simplest
Way to Stop a Cold
Take 2 Bayer As-
pirin Tablets.
2.
Drink full glass of water. 4 If throat is sore, crush
Repeat treatment in 2 V* and dissolve 3 Bayer
hours. Aspirin Tablets in a half
glass of water and gargle ac-
cording to directions in box.
Almost Instant Relief
in this Way
The simple method pictured above
is the way doctors throughout the
world now treat colds.
It is recognized as the QUICK-
EST, safest, surest way to treat a
cold. For it will check an
ordinary cold almost as
fast as you caught it.
Ask your doctor about this. And
when you buy, see that you get
the real BAYER Aspirin Tablets.
They dissolve almost instantly.
And thus work almost instantly
when you take them. And for a
gargle, Genuine BAYER Aspirin
Tablets dissolve so completely
they leave no irritating par-
-ticles. Get a box of 12
tablets or a bottle of
24 or 100 at any
drug store.
DOES NOT HARM
THE HEART
The Usual Insect
Wife (hearing husband arrive
home after hours)—Who is that?
Husband—Er-hardly anybody, dear.
Just Like a Man
He—Don't act like a fool 1
She—There you go—you want a
monopoly of everything.
Read the “Ads”
but don’t ignore medical opinion
if you want to
-relieve constipation gently and safely
-take the exact dose suited to your need
-avoid danger of bowel strain
A doctor will tell you that the care-
less use of harsh laxatives will often
do more harm than good.
Harsh laxatives often drain the
system, weaken the bowel muscles,
and even affect the liver and
kidneys.
Fortunately, the public is fast
returning to laxatives in liquid form.
Can Constipation
'Be safely relieved?
“Yes!” say medical men. “Yes!”
say thousands who have followed
this sensible medical advice: 1.
Select a good liquid laxative. 2.
Take the dose that you find suited
to your system. 3. Gradually reduce
the dose until bowels are moving
regularly without assistance.
Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin is a
prescripdonal preparation contain-
ing senna, a natural vegetable laxa-
tive which relieves constipation
gently and safely. Why not try it?
Some pill or tablet may be more
convenient to carry. But there is
no “convenience” in any cathartic
that’s taken so frequently, you
must carry it wherever you gol
What is the “Right”
Laxative?
In buying any laxative, read the
label. Not the claims, but the
contents. If it contains doubtful
drugs, don’t take it. Dr. Caldwell’s
Syrup Pepsin contains no mineral
drugs. By using it, you avoid danger
of strain.
How many dimes and quarters
are spent on “popular” laxatives!
How quickly they count up, if you
frequently use habit-forming helps!
A bottle of Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup
Pepsin would save you money—
and bring you real relief.
Why Doctors give a
liquid laxative
The habitual use -of harsh
salts, or powerful drugs in
the highly concentrated form
of pills or tablets is risky.
The properly prepared
liquid laxative will bring a
perfect movement without
discomfort or injury. You
need not take a “double
dose” a day or two later.
The public can always get
Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin
at any drug store.
Wl DO OUR PART
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The Lampasas Daily Leader (Lampasas, Tex.), Vol. 30, No. 286, Ed. 1 Wednesday, February 7, 1934, newspaper, February 7, 1934; Lampasas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth897968/m1/3/: accessed March 28, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Lampasas Public Library.