The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964 Page: 11 of 16
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"Use Thy Gumption"
A few weeks ago Lime ran an
article on Swarthmore College
perhaps the school with the highest
academic ranking and most
stringent entrance requirements in
the nation. In an attempt to pre-
sent a balanced picture of Ameri-
can educational system Lime now
presents the other end of the aca-
demic stale Abilene Christian
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What'f it worth it ACC?
"Use thy gumption" might well
be the motto of Abilene Christian
College. ACC students are noted
for their gumption or perhaps
downright gall in their practice of
considering enrollment the only re-
quirement in become a scholar.
Founded to promote "a dead lev-
el education in the mediocrity of
our children" ACC is noted for
holding the highest records in
clothes-drier spins and telephone
.Calling The Hogs. Its graduates
have attained success in such di-
verse fields as ditch-digging hog-
calling bobbin threading and mis-
sionarying to the untamed sagages
of the Bronx.
Abilene Christian has an enor-
mous endowment coupled with
phenominal scholarchips in sports
and campus maintenance.
As proof of its selectivity in ac-
ceptance of students ACC had 95
of its freshman class drawn from
the lower fifth of their graduating
classes. "We challenge any school
in the country to top this record"
ACC's president Don H. Morris
This high acadameic rating is
perhaps due to the high quality of
the faculty. ACC teachers' salaries
have increased 2 in the past 60
Outstanding Athletics. ACC also
boasts an outstanding record par-
ticularly in wrestling. Witness the
diverse holds exhibited in front of
the girls' dorms just before the
lights are blinked.
ACC's atmosphere is one of
"stunned silence" as a typical stu-
dent ponders how he could pos-
sibly have failed Culp's English
test after being in class at least
half of the time awake several
hours of that and almost prepared
Problem of Rate :
v When asked to describe the rate
of deceleration of the blood from
the time it enters the aorta to the
time it is dstributed by the capil-
laries the Biology 100 student
sighed with relief.
He did not see the asterisk by the
word "rate" nor did he take time
to read the small print at the bot-
tom of the page which read: "You
must describe the rate of decelera-
tion and graphically compare it to
the decrease (in mm) in the size
of the arteries. You must also tell
how fast the blood in the arteries
flows when 1 mm two mm three
mm four mm away from the arter-
The bioldgy student flunked the
test and when U. R. Small was
questioned about the obscure
wording of this question which
counted 95 poinds he chortled "We
discussed that in lecture. We spent
a whole 30 seconds clarifying the
formula for that problem."
Professor Jim Hollefield has re-
quested the return of one of his
most prized possessions; a book
entitled "The Joys of Raising
Planaria." He was especially anx-
ious for its return as it is the only
copy of this book of which he is
Salute to ACC
Always swift to recognize out-
standing scientific achievement by
educational institutions the Ameri-
can Medical Association last week
saluted Abilene Christian's biology
Aware of the need for the ad-
vancement of technical knowledge
J. R. Sembly Ph.D. M.D. D.D.S.
M.S.E.D. instructor of biology 100
of ACC announced that the depart-
ment had decided to cancel its ord-
er for a half-million dollar electron
"Instead" ' roared Sembly who
was mistaken by Dr. Culp of the
English department as the ghost in
Hamlet "I will order 250380 frogs
and 190003 fetal pigs." He added
that only by careful planning and
strict budgeting was he -able to
arrive at such exact figures.
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The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964, newspaper, April 1, 1964; Abilene, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth91782/m1/11/: accessed October 19, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.