The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964 Page: 12 of 16
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. ji H
ish plan from his none-too-posh
office in the Public Relations
Problem Eliminator. "I am confi-
dent that" such surroundings would
be an answer to the problem of
overcrowded colleges. It would at-
tFact only those who had a real
desire to learn" Hunter expound-
ed. Asked whether the proposed
headquarters for the development
council might tend to discourage
constructive thought Hunter ex-
plained that development council
members don't heed to think.
"We just have to make friends
and count money."
Asked as to the probable date of
construction of the proposed build-
ings; Hunter grinned.
"The program will go into effect
how would you say it tactfully
Charlie? when uh another
couple of endowment arrange-
ments go into effect."
Hunter is also suggesting that
the proposed construction be car-
vied out on a new site near Lake
Fort Phantom. "Real estate rates
are quite reasonable on this site"
Hunter explained. "Though it
might be advisable to build import-
ant structures on piles or floats."
"The offices of the development
council will be located on this rock
ledge" he pointed out.
Hunter sees the program as a
bold step in the direction of thrift.
He exclaimed gleefully "It'll
mean more money for you and
Other Plans. Hunter has plans
for a number of others in full
color grey and white locked in a
cJocet in his office.
There he plans to spring on the
administration from time to time.
For obvious reasons the student
body has not been informed of the
exact nature of the project being
left under the illusion that differ-
ent improvements are to be made
as has been trumpeted in the myth-
ical "Design for Development."
Thus Hunter and his cohorts con-
tinue on their mischievous way
opening up new vistas in educa-
tion. Who knows? It may become a
LAWRENCE SMITH (RIGHT) AND JOHN STEVENS
ACC worth three million
Lawrence Smith better known
as "Kingfish" to his peers in the
realm of fly-by-night finance has
finally been landed at a small air-
port in Abilene Texas a few sec-
onds before he was to leave for
Authorities quickly impounded
Smith's luggage expressing belief
that the several ponderous steam-
er trunks would contain informa-
tion leading to the whereabouts of
the three million dollars he re-
ceived for the unauthorized sale
of Abilene Christian College last
Light Luggage. Smith's luggage
however was found to contain
several million jokes. The Taylor
County Sheriff's office expressed
disappointment in the find but the
chairman of ACC's moribund Eng-
lish department Dr. Cassius Culp
has acclaimed the hordes of manu-
scripts to be priceless.
"This horde of manuscripts is
priceless" acclaimed Dr. Culp.
"This priceless horde of manu-
scripts contains some of the most
ancient documents extant in our
beloved tongue" shrieked- the
plausible pundit. "One can tell
from their poor structure primi
tive diction bucolic subject mat-
ter hackneyed phrasing and gen-
eral dullness that they derive from
the earliest social activties of pri-
meval primates" squealed the sub
tie savant a flush of glee suffusing."
his receding forehead. V
Not easily discouraged the Abi-"
lene police soon found the three
million dollars stuffed in the shoes
of Smith's pilot unctuous John
Stevens vice-president of the Col-
lege. Stevens stoutly maintained that
the money had not been gained disr "
On The Emmus. This money has '
not been gained dishonestly" he
purred demurely. "These fund
were donated by a group of loyal'
self-sacrificing churches and. are
to be' used for athletic scholar-
ships" he vouchsafed.
Police are holding the slippery
twosome for further questioning.
Also apprehended with the ab-
sconding academics was curvy o
Mandy Rice-Arthur cigarette girl
in ACC's Catchings Kitchen Mid-
den. "I didn't do nothin' wrong"
soughed the sultry soubrette; "I
just came out to say good-bye."
So far authorities have been un
able to pin anything on the volup-
tuous vixen but they have ex-
pressed plans to hold her for furth-
er investigation. "I declare I dpn?
mind" she declared. ""
"A worthy woman ..."
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The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964, newspaper, April 1, 1964; Abilene, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth91782/m1/12/: accessed June 24, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.