The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964 Page: 3 of 16
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1 Modestly Proposed
1 JSir: I have often remarked
while going to and fro on this
Campus the great number of
young Women who despite their'
best Efforts languish yet without
Mates. And it being the purpose of
a College In Loco Parentis to ful-
fill the Needs of its Students I
hereby make bold to offer some
Measures which I hope may pro-
.yide a speedy and efficacious Rem-
dy. For it is manifest to All that
the aforesaid young Women have
come to this Place for no other
Reason than this namely to pro-
cure for Themselves a goodly Man
and that with the most Dispatch
consonant with Seemliness. Should
not the College as it provideth f or
those who come seeking Kaowl-
or social Estate provide too
for these who be as: zealous as the? Wre Mri?
such Suits aforetime than the
"Other shall be named as the Vic-
trix. Or if both be equal in such
'Experience the Victim shall be
awarded to her of better Family
As to the Victims who presume
to defy such free Choice whatever
fond Excuses they plead such as
Scholarship or Pretense of Love
for Another or Suchlike Evasions;
-they must be silenced by any
Means theybeing a threat to Per-
formance of Duty to the importun-
vant Maids by the College. And if
they persist in their Delinquence
they shall be made an Example
by hanging them by the great Toe
from the Flag-Pole for a week or
sending them to work in the Cafe-
teria for a Day whichever the
Court shall decide; the more Vocal
to be assessed the Latter as the
rest in seeking their end?
To aid this worthy Cause I sub-
mit these Thoughts the Fruits of
much Meditation & Consideration.
Firstly that when a young Worn-
an may see a likely Man who has
; . not yet been claimed by Another
' she tell of her Preference to the
4 Dean of Women who shall immed-
;4 lately inform the Dean of the Men
' ? of the Maiden's Choice. The Dean
of the Men shall then without De.
lay inform the Choice (to which I
shall hereinafter refer as the
i Victim); who will receive a Breast-
f plate which shall tell -to what
j - Woman he oweth Fealty; and ap-
;- propriately severe Penalties snail
t te.set for those who .cowajily re;
wm tu wear sucn jtrjaie pr wno.
f'I dp earnestly pray that these
Thoughts may receive Considera-
tion from the Administration of
this College; for I do believe that
they will save much Trouble and
Inconvenience for the greater Part
of tiie Women of the College who
so single-mindedly pursue Men as
a Few pursue Learning.
Sir: In regard to the recent
Lime articles on blickners I feel
that there was and is some misun-
derstanding of my stand on the
subject which I desire to clarify
Let me make it clear that my re-
marks were in no way to be con-
strued in support of the wearing
of blickeners. However I can't
stress too firmly the fact that I am
not in opposition to the practice.
I firmly believe that this might
possibly be a question for the ad-
ministration; though I don't mean
to imply by that that I support
authoritarian intervention in such
I believe that such questions
should be left up to the individual
and his personal leanings what-
ever they may be.
I trust that this explanation has
clarified my position.
Dwight D. Wisenhower
: -Lfcelieve that' otfe 'should do all
vertance. . ' ""in -hisJ power 4tof set the record
J4 leave i at Home through Jnacf-' f-M
l!i -JU . . " " 4" z - ' strnierhf -crw'rk onoolr iViA-. ' w;
i!y?dl!iat Whtn tW MaidS understanding of ' this nature
fr shall lay Claim to the same Vic- 0ra
JU . . I AAfcJJ
I ' tim at Once the Dispute shall be
K T adjudicated by a Court of the Dsfcr
pertinent ox nome economics as-
. lembled. And the litigants shall be
-judged on the Merits of their sev-r
" ; eral Claims in this wise: she who
Tiath been in the College for the
I do not intend for the follow-
ings remarks to reflect in any way
on the shoddy methods of Lime's
editorial staff and its obviously in-
The People's Choice
Hi Cats: About your article.
"Don Haymes the People's
Choice" I wanted you toknow that
it wasn't half bad. r
I mean it really kills me
to find out that other guys get the
same kick I do out of that cat.
I mean like he's the greatest.
The greatest what I haven't de-
cided. I'll leave that up to the. guys
that make those like decisions.
Because you see I'm not a bona
fide guy 'cause I'mkinda more like
I mean like I am a girl but not
the feminine kind if you know
what I mean.
Anyway this cat Haymes really
sends me into a state of tshock
He's ACC's answer to. -all the
-phonies in the world. Yoaknow
' those crazy- cats who bathe and
shave and wear clean shirts. The
kind that make you. want to to get
sick or something.
Anyway enough talking I just
wanted to let you know that I am
for Haymes and Lime all the way.
A Loyal Fan
un in tne college for the It has.jieyer Jaeen my .ppjicy to P.S. Drop my subscription a
Time or hath ; lost more palin personalities. oH ...Fm busted. ""si
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The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964, newspaper, April 1, 1964; Abilene, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth91782/m1/3/: accessed January 21, 2018), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.