The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964 Page: 4 of 16
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Maud Fraud prominent Gardner
socialite protested at a recent de-
votional the primitive living con-
ditions to which Gardnerites are
"Why should we be forced to
live in a temporary structure lo-
cated a great 'cfistance from the
campus?" querie&Fraud. She said
she understood why some of the
men were forced to live in the bar-
racks but she did not see why
"some of the girls should have to
live in similar conditons."
Proposing a solution Fraud said
that the boys could be moved from
McDonald which used to be a
girls dorm into the barracks. The
girls could then be moved from
obsolete Gardner into McDonald.
"Then Gardner could be torn
down and the new beautiful mod-
ern girls' dorm that we have been
promised for so long could be
: built" added Fraud who holds
it .? '-'.that since Gardner is bv far in the
M. -..-'Worst condition of all the temnor-
S c .
ary ounaings it snouia oe replaced
Concluding her proposal Fraud
said "I hope the school will use
my proposal as I have had a cold
all winter from sitting in the
Mergetroid Bafcf1 sprint spinster
recently inked to' 'a Wheaties-ACC
contract of champions has snatch-
ed another photo finish victory
away from Bible major B. Hein
Barf who attributes his spectac-
ular performance to the expert tut-
elage of Olympic champion Earl
Plummer snapped the tape in an
amazing 8.6 seconds.
. The meet held during chapel
was inspired by the wild melee
of ecstatic worshippers who daily
vault from their pre-assigned pews
in an attempt to be the first to pass
from Sewell's portals with the
B. Hein Timz evidently surpris-
ed by Barf as he roared past the
previous record holder was com-
pletely?$keA jttt'fcftard asahe had
his head bowed at the time and
was only made aware of the sprint-
er's approach when the chapel
checker inadvertently dropped his
pencil and leaned over to pick it
up thus poking his head clear
through the one-way mirror.
Said Timz "It was fixed . . .
they had it rigged upstairs."
Barf gagging for air only com-
mented a whimsical "Ain't I pretty
... I ain't even marked."
And he wasn't.
An Ad For Easter
The casual newspaper reader
would have passed lightly over the
ad; it was unly a brief squib in the
For sale: One used electric
guitar with amplifier. Make
me an offer. Charlie Easter.
Write Box 69 ACC Station. No
phone calls please.
However as the ad salesmen are
quick to point out advertising
' talks. And in this case it was bab-
bling a pretty lurid tale.
When queried about his motives
in discarding the guitar Easter re-
plied: "It's not that I've lost my
interest in music it's just that I
can detect a real conflict in interest
here. One fellow has already re-
minded me of it personally you
Easter who is hoping to earn a
pass over to the Tokyo Olympic
games in his half-mile speciality
explained further: "Let's just say
that I had a slight disagreement
with a lofty associate who has since
gone on to seek higher things else-
where." The blond-eyed gaitster;who has
been understandedly close-mouthed
about the whole affair con-
cluded: "This fellow has a problem;
he's always working at crossing the
bar. Rather than risk another ex-
ercise in applied human relations
I've just decided to forego my mu-
Then he added wistfully: "I wish
I'd had a couple more days to
work on that last song though. It
was a real jaw-breaker!"
The American public has; over
the 'years grown to know and love
the mauldin reminiscences of de-
mure sophisticated Raymond Fool-
erton. This week Foolerton's first
book I'm So Pretty a collection
of his journalistic writings will
be published. Readers will be wise
to order copies in advance since
the first edition is sure to be quck-
In his first piece Foolerton ejac-
ulates "I love the Alpha Cow sor-
ority and the two or three girls in
it who will speak to me." Then he
lists those fortunate damsels' each"
of who will undoubtedly want a
copy of this book.
In the second article Foolerton
fondles the earth-shattering issue
of whether his group of male
cheerleaders should wear short
skirts or slim-jims. He appeals to
his loyal public for an answer.
The remainder of his writing is
equally stimulating and provocative.
They Said It:
Dee Nutt: "Any good basketball
player can play 14 games in nine
days and still be ready for more."
Mike Love: "I am the greatest!"
Frank Fogelsong: "No I have
not had an offer from Cus D -
Jim Reynolds: "Are we gonna
win? I'm playing ain't I!"
Mike Love: "I am the greatest!"
Roger Orrell: "When I grow up
v I am "going 'io be an actor." :
Bill McClure: "Oliver who?"
Oliver Jackson: ".Bill who?"
Mike Love: "I am the greatest."
Raymond Fullerton: "Both of my
friends are the greatest!"
&ud &t At W
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The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964, newspaper, April 1, 1964; Abilene, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth91782/m1/4/: accessed May 21, 2018), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.