The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964 Page: 6 of 16
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
ovef which club had' more mem-'
bers in student government '
Ttfe tremendous blast of the
cops' broadside dampened the riot-
ers enthusiasm a little giving the
cops time to corral them and haul
them away in their paddy wagon.
Managing to escape the long arm
of the law Hubie was seen after
the brawl strolling among the ex-
members of the student senate. He
spied an especially prominent ex
member a "real comer" who it
was rumored was going to run
for president next year.
"Yes sir Hubie blissfully sighed
"what this school needed was a
good gang fight."
Science seldom outsteps its
bounds but when notable achieve-
ments by men of science occur' in
other 'fields these.accompl jshments
should fcfe- applauded.
The skillful handling of a facili-
ties conflict by Dr. Stromberry
and Dr. McCraw of the biology and
chemistry departments respec-
tively was a triumph in diplomacy.
Dr. Sromberry promised in re-
turn for the generous permission
to use a rather obscure leaky base-
ment room his biology students
would quit putting rats in the infra-red
diplomacy rates a right thinking
applause" acclaimed Rudy Ran-
dolph chief note borrower of ACC.
It was announced last week dur-
ing chapel at Abilene Christian
that the first meeting of the Young
Democrats Club would be held
Saturday at five a.m. in room 248
as this was the only time and
room available in the administra-
Jerry Flipper made the procla-
mation prior to the daily advance-
ment .program which consisted of
the ACHS chorus singing "Does
Your Mama Wear T-Shirts?"
Flipper praised the fine wide
minded view"'typ'ical of ACC and
expressed confidence that the 25
year old Young Republican Club
would welcome the competition.
Obviously jubilant Flipper crow-
ed "I'm obviously jubilant."
At this point the crome 'cranium
and' bespectacled beak o -Young
.Republican magnate ;Dr. Fred Jirk
inexplicably appeared from ' be-
hind the curtains and with the aid
of two members of the school box-
ing team promptly assisted Flipper
off the stage.
Pole Faulter dean of men then"
mounted the stand-to remark that
due to a little "technical problem
room 248 would be permanently
closed to socialist clubs and that
he was sure "none of the right
thinking students would have
wanted to go anyway." The aud-
ience then showed their apprecia-
tion by applauding.
Abilene Christian's dishwashers
a fearsome lot recently' advanced
the age-old labor-management
struggle by planning and execut-
ing a riot whch dethroned Bean
Baron Neile Grille. u "
Grille affectionately known -as
"Turns" was accused by 30 burly
plate cleaners of cornering the
market on his notorious Grilled
Unfair Monoply. "This monop-
ly" screamed Gene Jean riot in-
stigator "is running us dishwash-
- mtk Hi MEs
Down With Grilled Grease '
ers ragged." HepbintexUiotit vta.''
Grille that his mogroplyoonrtGrille'd
Grease was not onyyuhf aittQ4ocalw
competitors but also conducive to"
harder and longer working hours-
for the dishwashers.
The never flustered Grille re-
plied with an effective "Ahhhhhh
go soak your head."
Undaunted by this brilliant dis-
play of logic the dish- basin boys
" produced reams of evidence which
i 'hinted that Grille was unqualified
to be Bean manager.
The convincing factors of this
evidence was that Grille's taste
buds and stomach were removed
90 years ago when he first became
Disqualification. "This disquali-
fies you .from making any sort of
f ood" sefections" Jean cunningly
' Grille defended himself by stat-
ing tha he never made the decis-
ions. "That task was taken off my
hands years ago by the administra-
tion" he'confessed. "I'm sort of like
.. you'd call a puppet ruler."
The committee realizing that
they had been attacking the wrong
person immediately marched to
Pole Faulter's office. They found
him throwing darts at a list of
names which was entitled "Chron-
ic Chapel Cutters.'"'
4 Say Pole Faulter" snarled
Jean "What about this monoply
on Grilled Grease?"
Slightly Annoyed. Faulter look-
ed slightly annoyed. He turned
from his obviously delightful task
to put a record on his multi-million
dollar office stereo. A monot-
onous voice repeated over and
over. "Never ask questions. Be
good. Be kind. Never ask ques-
Knowing they were once more
defeated in their quest for a break-
up of Grille's monoply the dish-
washers heaved Faulter out the
window and timidly left.
Two new courses have been add-
ed to Abilene Christian's curricu
lum to stimulate achievement in
certain areas not previously em-
phasized it was announced last
week by the progressive dean of
the college. "Though the college
prisfently has two courses in these
areSs' we felt fully justified in
making this addition. We hope that
all students will take an interest
in this new program." It is prob-
able that the students will be inter-
ested indeed since the dean has
included the courses in the gradu-
ation requirements. The new
courses are Frustration 101 and
Here’s what’s next.
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Ed. 1, Wednesday, April 1, 1964, newspaper, April 1, 1964; Abilene, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth91782/m1/6/: accessed May 27, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.