The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 8, Ed. 1, Friday, April 1, 1927 Page: 1 of 4
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1 iMi tittfj 1 1 nJU A 1
k. IVol. 8 ' . ... 1If SiiMEbS'lMORSFCY AmtiNE TEXAS APK:IL''1? ' Minnimumice.ra
f il t. it ft a ; &e Sifter
Doctors Chicken-container Waganins
and Hoy-hot Lizzierythey wentrtoythe lien-
vention hat Hells 1Passj of 7de best1 of de
polker players hef Texas. Dr. Chicken-
container came back in chapp'elle.andf told!
how be got kleaned up and even forgot
some engagements. The reason why these
went as due to the facr that they 'could
not compete with Dockters JR-eye-Stir JBur:
' ams and the cocky Hair-net. KAiYer mak-
ing this' trip they also attended' the nation-
al conventibn at Dallas. Here they studied
for a week arid found that their ability
had increased very" much They returned
den to .the- Uniorsity and hatfe be'en h&ld-
ing their meetings in Furg-Some Hall. They
find that they are able to defeat the three
cocky youngsters and once more Dr. Chick-
encontainer throws his head bach and
boasts ' with' pride.4 ' ' Jutf last" nigKT Mow
eyer in .steps thef Bostoriian andhis first
hid matfj Dgein! cHjA'JSJStfftaRdputs &
bitter pastes to Jheir victory. H4 '
' The Bostonian angrily declares that he
vill not permit any 'such Jgames to be
practiced while jKe is'i'managing affairsl
It seems to have hurt the feelings of these
participators because they have not been
in school today arid it is said that Bur?
ams is swollen up?
Course Arts Recitals
Monday eriing; Apnl 14 "1927; Miss
Olive Hobble-Good; KeaH- of the coarse ar
OepartMent announces William Fryum and
WW mm Riryiihi MackTDunafa' will ap?
$fr in ttiefr Senibr recital and give &
Ataiit drift 'hV ftW fcVttonV"' These
. to make ex-hell-W daricihg! p'artners and'
Aiae Hobble-Good is sure thaKthe recital?
.'Citi . j. j)
11 be thebast' 6f"thev year; as both oij
m can do the -Black. Bottom as gud as
' ' VI WL. . .. 4 .1 '
y.1 . a
"!'$ h fe.es
t. ta JkTJ m.w ms k
What this country really needs is a five?
Prof. Jimmie- 'Labor ' well knowne joke
(?) pull-er-and both head and mouth of
the Ygchl depa'rtmerit of Simpleton's Col-
ony hez bean off furred the puzition as'
Tiigh-fiiogul. ;in the . "HI-DIDDLE-DIDDLE
THE KAT IN THE FIDDLE" Grandest!
Opperur. Own the necks Lie-See-em tear-
up df this Opperjur Prof. 'Labor is X-peck-tid'
to inn-light-linn Colony audyences buy1
his classik and inspiring joekz as well as
by his 'vocal twisters The Weigh in whish
Jinimie interprits the songzthat Hee RenD-
ers haz its EFFECT! ! ! !If he expects
wee expect to sea the follering in the lead-
ihg 'nuwsrfuppers" sun::t "TheT T"ez?n whi
Labor's kumpany made Sech a HIT in the
big metroopolis of Chickickgoo and tiik en1
S9.2 wuz because the native? thare had
heerd of his X-hell-ent Ren-dishidn of The
HISSTORY of hisr son'g dt1 Sirifpleton's
Awl the studes ur sore: iMinny resignaw
ted frum disr institootin last turm becuz
of d swindle in lcone'ction with Oh-ur-lie-See-'ems.
Whin sum uf them Tarried
thet Miss Hope Culd hed' poked off th'e
Shake-Spear-Him play pn thim fur an a-f
track-shu tha tuk up a-ferice. "We want'
sumthing' bk 'i luv mi turkids gubbje
gubble' agin" the sey. If Swan-Z and'lMss
Hope Culd wil git sum mor such a-tarck
;shuns- we tink-part uf de studes will cum
back tu our institootin agin.
A grate commotion haz ;KarbzeT lamung'
the fakulty and studunts of Simpleton s
Uni-orse-lty of late! The' trusty Vs. a
ri-tempt-ing tu pur-suade Prax to forrp hen-
mate Telkun'-shi'ps 'With Muther (Ma)
Furg-Sdri? A hot aV skorcHe'd'diskution
thk plade bee'-tween Prax' "apd Hudge Sea
Him Call-Well becuz Prax faled' tu make
de musrof hezf.a-pbdr-tlfmly whfnhe"cuid
Hev stayed all-nite with de re-serit guvinor
'in 'Nue Or Leans. Ve do not no de de-
""" Ba l" 1t?l t?Y&LViZi"-Zt.?V.0Xiy'i!M
mate relation-ships farmed but ve hulpe
met we- vill -nut loose hour Praxr -
. Onjy yesterday the president and thekof-
ficers of the city including Cop Antonia
dicurvered that High Ram Herrunt and
Hot Toe Electric Pusher were bootlegging
white mule. Having been called upon by.
some of the business mene of town to.
test the per cent of alcohol in the filthy
lukor. and seeing ho profitable thevoccu-
patin wuz they had bebun it. It wuld like-
ly never been revealed but for- the jfact
that the druggist of the v city were being
robbed of their buses and came- to Sandy
Fur about it. Mrs. Electric Pusher toldr her
best friend that she wuz glad it happened
for riot Toe often cum in intoxicated and
beat her most outrageously.
. . jScahdal
On a lonelv road in the wee 'hours of Ahe
night was parked a gra Doge sedan. "fJev
saw Mi. "Butternut and miss Roads Jeve.
tdwn in a car just like this one. We ain't
sain it wuz them but it-.an't to reasontthati
there wuldbe 2 vcars just alike. And .on
more hands we furthermore saw them fill
the gas-o-lene tank and itain't to reson
that they culd run out of gas. We ain't
the kind to spred scandal but if they were
talkin' busness they culd heve- did it the.
Bus-Ar's office of Simpleton's Uni- Wur-
sities. Where sumday Miss (?) Roads"
will be Bus-Ar. And by sides we wuld lik
tbVrio what madeairtKevcurtaips Hie down J.
fur we know fur a fact that it wuz not I
-culcL r We urjafeard tha ma loose their
in-flu-epce in the UniWorsity jWe think
that' this4 scandal should riot be axaggera-'
'td cause' as' you kho'' kiks wilf be' )kids
arid krio' there' ain't much harm Fm a
Title "friendly Kneck-ing party. r '
: BE.URE AlUt) NOTICE THAT MRS.'
ATWOODEE HAS BOBBED HER HAIR. I
Elmerasf J)een3wantingjmeto for a long!
iime sne siaies so a aeciaea l wouia- in
order taplease-him. ' T"'
cjjv ik-tr. tlJt )..-. icirj.ito J&fc- &SfcW
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The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 8, Ed. 1, Friday, April 1, 1927, newspaper, April 1, 1927; Abilene, Texas. (texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth96651/m1/1/: accessed November 18, 2017), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Hardin-Simmons University Library.