The Canadian Record (Canadian, Tex.), Vol. 114, No. 27, Ed. 1 Thursday, July 1, 2004 Page: 2 of 32
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2
THURSDAY 1 JULY 2004
THE GANADIAN RECORD
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RECORD
INCORPORATED FEBRUARY 1998
BEN EZZELL
Editor a Publisher 1948-1993
NANCY EZZELL Publisher
LAURIE EZZELL BROWN Editor
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1
Need money? Tax stupidity
By James Sollisob, The Free Press [Hays County]
Reprinted with the near certainty that we will receive permission
TO RAISE MORE MONEY FOR SCHOOLS , many
states are passing additional sin taxes. Gov.
Rick Perry has called for taxes on alcohol,
gambling and even patrons who enter topless
bars. Just imagine: Someday there may be a
library in a Texas school with a plaque that
reads, "Funded in part by the zealous efforts
of the lap dancers of the Lone Star State."
I don't see anything wrong with all of that
- except that there is a limit to how much sin
we all can commit even if our state govern-
ments encourage it as a way to raise tax rev-
enue.
That's why we need to expand the poten-
tial revenue stream beyond sin to something
our society possesses in even greater supply
- stupidity.
I propose the stupid things people buy.
Let's start with a tax on camera phones.
What could be more stupid than taking pic-
tures with a phone? Just because you can
combine two things doesn't mean you should.
A waffle iron is a, good thing, and so is a Walk-
man. But a Walffleman just doesn't make
sense.
Next on my list is a tax on animal clothing.
In case you haven't noticed, dogs come with
fur, which means they don't need sweaters*
And how about pet massage therapy? If
you are stupid enough to take your cat to a pet
spa for the day, I think you should pay a tax
that helps us better educate students so that
there eventually will be fewer adults who be-
lieve their pets need a massage.
I also would tax bumper stickers. If you
can sum up your view of hugely complicated
issues like global warming and abortion in
three words, you should help schools that
teach children to think critically. If the bum-
per sticker happens to be on a Hummer or
any other vehicle that doesn't fit in a parking
space, you should be taxed twice,
I just read in the paper about a new cos-
metic surgery that costs about $15,000. And
the results don't even show. The surgery nips
years off your vocal chords so that your voice
sounds younger. A10 percent tax could raise
$1,500 per surgery. That would be a great
way to get older people, who often don't vote
for school levies, to help out with education.
Taxing stupid purchases is a great idea
because it is fundamentally fair. Stupidity
is democratic. It knows no race, creed or re-
ligion. It isn't an affliction of the wealthy or
the poor. I might not be rich enough to buy a
Hummer, but I might be vain enough to buy
Hair in a Can. That should cost me.
The other great advantage that a stupid
tax has over a sin tax is its logical connection
to education. We can't educate sin away. It is
original equipment on the human being. But
if every time you bought a particularly ridicu-
lous item, you were reminded how stupid it
was, you might learn. And ifyou don't, at least
our children will.
HOPE IS THE THING with feathers; That
perches in the soul; And sings the tune
without the words; And never stops-at all.
EMIT IIEKIHS0N (1810-1886]
State Capital
Highlights
By Mike Con
TEXAS PRISS ASS0CIATI0H
AUSTIN—ORCA is not a whale, but it's been spouting a lot of
money lately to Texas' smaller cities and counties to help them
with infrastructure and public facility improvement.
The money comes from the Office of Rural Community
Affairs. It goes to applicants, according to ORCA, based on
a needs-based scoring system. In May, the agency awarded
$46.5 million in federal funds through the Texas Community
Development Program. Last week, the agency awarded more
than $3 million to 15 rural cities or counties from the unallo-
cated remnants of the community development fund adminis-
tered by the agency.
'"These are important dollars for small communities in
Texas," said ORCA's executive director Robert J. Tessen,
"and we are awarding every available penny from this fund in
support of local projects across the state."
Recipients and grant amounts include: Bay City, $104,449;
Combes, $211,107; Crockett County, $154,111; Edna, $105,182;
Fort Stockton, $350,000; Grimes County, $250,000; Pinehurst,
$187,325; Polk County, $186,553; Ralls, $148,344; Robstown,
$382,833'; Rochester, $82,186; Roxton, $210,830; Trenton,
$217,440; Wellington, $166,029; and Wortham, $244,497.
ORCA, an agency intended to help rural communities in
health care, housing and infrastructure, is a creation of the
77th Legislature,
latest school finance buzz
In a word, August.
Spy us. Spy
Seen that black and white television commercial featuring
two weird-looking guys with pointy noses and pointy hats, one
black, one white? Clearly intended for Baby Boomers , the soft
drink spot is a take off on "Spy vs. Spyj" a popular feature in
Mad Magazine back in the Cold War days of the 1960s.
The old comic strip also is becoming increasingly symbolic
of the ongoing Gov. Rick Perry-Comptroller Carole Keeton
Strayhorn political feud.
In the latest episode, Strayhorn gave a speech last week
accusing Perry of a "witch hunt" by orchestrating a State Au-
ditor's Office examination of her office.
Perry's office countered that the governor does not have
any stick over the auditor's activities, "The state auditor's of-
fice is overseen by a six-member committee of the Legisla-
ture, not the governor," one of his spokesmen said.
Senate Finanee Committee chairman Sen. Steve Ogden
(R-Bryan) has told the Texas Public Employees Association
that he favors a cost-of-living pay raise for the 200,000-plus
state employees.
TPEA, which has an aggressive public relations campaign
on to add members, is also vigorously pushing for a 4.5 per-
cent pay raise for state workers for each year of the next bi-
ennium.
If the Legislature goes along with that in its regular ses-
sion next year, it would be the first pay hike for state workers
since 2001 and only the fourth since 1993.
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Brown, Laurie Ezzell. The Canadian Record (Canadian, Tex.), Vol. 114, No. 27, Ed. 1 Thursday, July 1, 2004, newspaper, July 1, 2004; Canadian, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth220636/m1/2/: accessed May 4, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Hemphill County Library.