Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 23, No. 32, Ed. 1 Friday, December 22, 2006 Page: 34 of 72
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life+stylebooks
The original
gossip gangsta
Tenacious tattler Michael Musto says his favorite pastime is outing celebrities
By Lawrence Ferber Contributing Writer
Decades before Perez Hilton was exposing
closeted D-listers, Michael Musto was
yanking them out like olives from marti-
nis. Back when she was daytime-TV's ambiguous
queen, Rosie O'Donnell had christened Musto
"the gay Nazi."
With a queer eye and delicious wit, the Village
Voice gossip snuck us behind velvet ropes to pro-
vide a glimpse into Manhattan's
audacious nightlife.
"La Dolce Musto: Writings
by The World's Most
Outrageous Columnist" (Carroll
& Graf, January 2007) compiles
Musto's columns over the past 22
years. His essays are fluffy, pro-
found and deeply personal.
As a student at Columbia, did
you realize that gossip was your
true calling?
Yes. At Columbia, you have so many require-
ments: we studied "The Odyssey," "The Iliad" and
all the Greek classics. But my mind was on Cher
and still is.
WOWMWO
Compared to the insatiable thirst for today's
gossip, how have juicy items evolved?
There are more walls broken down. Today,
anything goes — which is a good thing.
At times, it makes for more inaccuracies and
more insensitivity, but there's less hypocrisy. There
are less columnists saying we shouldn't talk about
sexuality because that's off limits. Now anything
constitutes an item, and that's because of the
Internet.
But some publicists still insist that sexual iden-
tity is off limits.
Oh, I know. I was supposed to interview
Jennifer Love Hewitt. And they said, "You can't
talk about her breasts."
And I was like, "Why would I?"
I never make deals with publicists. I just say
forget it — let's not do it.
What are your thoughts on the new wave of gay
gossip personalities like Perez Hilton?
I think they're terrific. Perez has cited me as a
pioneer in what he does, so I'm honored to be
acknowledged.
I think it's more in-your-face gay gossip. I think
the sexuality coverage is extremely political
341 dallasvoice.com I 12.22.06
When he wasn't offering snarky anecdotes —
like Sandra Bernhard and former gal-pal
Madonna acting zany at a 1989 one-time-only
fundraiser — Musto recounts the horror of
AIDS' and the activism it spawned.
By no means a hypocrite, Musto is refresh-
ingly open about his own personal life, career
and how gossip has changed over the years.
During a recent interview at his
apartment in the Murray Hill
neighborhood, Musto serves a tin
of cookies decorated with the faces
of last year's Best Actor Oscar
nominees. We begin at the begin-
ning — when Musto attended
Columbia University as an English
Lit major.
because it's saying to the world
there's nothing wrong with saying a
celebrity is gay.
Even if this rumor is wrong, it's okay to put the
rumor out there with the denial because we're not
projecting any more homophobia by acting like
this is an unspeakable topic. That's a huge political
(EE
Jill
THE HUNTER S. THOMPSON OF SNARK: For more than 20 years, Musto has written "La Dolce Musto," for the Village Voice.
advance.
How do you feel about outing?
It's my favorite pastime. I collect stamps,
Russian dolls, and I like to out celebrities. And I
don't feel there has to be a legitimate basis of
exposing hypocrisy. That's always fun, like a Mark
Foley or a Jim McGreevy, who were both against
gay rights and gay marriage and are caught. But I
don't think that outing should only be used as a
weapon against hypocrites. It should be okay to
say Clay Aiken is gay. What's the problem?
Of all the columns in the book, which one got
you into the most trouble?
Definitely when I was outing Rosie O'Donnell.
Few people will remember that she was the
"Queen of Nice:" an ambiguous single mom in
love with Tom Cruise. And the media was going
along with the whole charade. I was going,
"Excuse me, people! She is the biggest diesel since
Martina!"
I didn't even know this was getting to Rosie,
but apparently it was burning her up and driving
her nuts. When she hosted the Tony Awards one
year, during a commercial break, Rosie said some-
thing to the audience — only the live audience.
"Oh I would love to be the one to strap in Raquel
Welch for her costume in Victor/Victoria."
So that was her first lesbionic thing. But it was-
n't on the telecast. At the party afterwards, Rosie
came up to me and said, "That remark was for you.
Now maybe you'll stop talking about my private
life."
And I was like,"No, I won't!"
I kept going at it. And I'm extremely proud of
her now that she came out. Not only did she come
out, she came out with fucking dyke vengeance. I
watch "The View." I love it.
You've done a lot of blind items. What's been
the hardest secret to keep a secret?
It's not hard for me to keep a secret because
basically, I am very discreet. And I love a project.
Like when I started taking seizure medication
eight years ago and the doctor said, you can't have
alcohol anymore.
I found it amazingly easy because it's some-
thing you focus on — you can't have alcohol. It's
the same thing with keeping a secret. I can't tell it.
Is it hard not to drink in your line of work?
Hard is not the word. Everywhere I go people
are handing drink tickets at me. Now, I just
fetishize Diet Coke. I pretend it's a highball. And it
does have caffeine, which kind of gets you off. I
also sniff magic markers.
Has anyone ever reported or exposed some-
thing about you?
Someone once e-mailed me and said they saw
me at some gay sex party. Oh, that's really... Your
next scoop is going to be the sky is blue, or the
Pope is Catholic.
I've written about my sex life, I'm quite open-
ly gay, so there's really nothing anyone has on me.
Madonna comes up a lot in your book. Have
you ever had a one-on-one experience with
her?
I had a band called The Must, which was a
Motown cover band. And before she was famous,
we were on the same bill at a nightclub. We were
equal — that's how low down Madonna was at
that point.
And she behaved every inch the superstar as if
she were already queen of the world. We never got
a sound check because she tested the mike from
every angle until the club opened. And afterwards,
we were sharing a dressing room, and her manag-
er didn't want us to receive friends because
Madonna was getting ready. Which was ironic —
she didn't want strangers to see Madonna naked.
Now the whole world is her gynecologist.
Interestingly, I've never spoken with Madonna.
Our paths have crossed 8 million times. But I'm
not trying to become friends with celebs. Like I
don't want to go bowling with Meryl Streep or
anything. I'd rather keep a distance and write what
I want. Plus she's not calling, so it works out!
Who would you hand your torch to? Is that
something you think about?
No. I want to die while I'm RSVPing. And then
I want to be put in a Hefty bag and leaned against
a garbage pail. But I'm not one of those noble peo-
ple who wants to anoint a new me. I think having
a new me would be a nightmare for me.
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Nash, Tammye. Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 23, No. 32, Ed. 1 Friday, December 22, 2006, newspaper, December 22, 2006; Dallas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth238940/m1/34/: accessed April 30, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.