The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 78, No. 29, Ed. 1 Friday, March 22, 1991 Page: 20 of 20
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20 FRIDAY, MARCH 22, 1991 THE RICE THRESHER
Friday,
March 22nd
Saturday,
March 23rd
Sunday,
March 24th
Monday,
March 25th
Tuesday,
March 26th
Wednesday,
March 27^
Thursday,
March 28th
•Baker theatre presents,
MacBeth, today and
tomorrow.
•Baker Shakespeare Faire.
Eat, Drink, ana Be Merry!
3-7 p.m.
•Rice Players One Acts,
today ana Saturday.
•HanszenTC. And they
still suck.
•BEER BIKE.
•Rondolet.
•Sid Richardson Dinner
Theatre. Go Pearl!
• Black Student Union
Gospel Choir Concert, SH
301, 7:30 p.m.
•RPC changeover.
•Rice Chorale; 8:00 p.m.
• Deadline for sophomores
to file majors witn Registrar.
•Spring Recess begins.
•Tne Hunt.
Flo did 14 guys 50X in one day, and Jane
didn't even crack a smile Misclass
"Christ died for our sins. Dare we
make his martyrdom meaningless by
not committing them?"
-Jules Feiffer
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
Electricity comes from electrons;
morality comes from morons.
AIDS means guys with vasectomies
have to wear condoms, too.
Bummer.
Overheard at House of Guys:
"I don't believe that in my body there
is an infinite amount of sperm."
Don't waste it.
David Greybeard or
George Rupp - you make
the call Classified Ads
HELP WANTED
LOOKING FOR RELIABLE, fun, & kind
babysitter for infant; one afternoon per
week and occasional evenings; Heights
area; call 880-3855 after 5 p.m.
NEW CLUB 60*S LOOKING for person-
able people for bartenders and cocktails,
all shifts. Apply 2929 SW freeway E-Z-8
Motel. Ask for Storma.
PHYSICIAN'S FAMILY SEEKS one or two
female students to carpool, some babysit-
ting in exchange for large one bedroom
garage apt. with separate kitchen & bath-
room. Utilities paid. References & 1 yr.
commitment Call after 6 p.m.; 666-5757.
FOR SALE
CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CTHULHU T-
shirts available now for $9.99. Call: 785-
8607 and ask for the High Priest
MISCELLANEOUS
ADOPTION. WE'VE BEDTIME STORIES,
rocking chairs and much love, but no
baby...yet Can you help? Call Sue and
Jamie collect about adoption. (802) 235-
2312.
Another Mad Lib (yes, they are real!):
"Advertisement for a Cruise Ship"
Come aboard the famous cruise sh ip,
"Love Birthmark." Yourvacation will
stretch from the land of the midnight
mudflap to the sunny tatoos of the
Mediterranean. You and your breast
implants will stay in a luxurious pri-
vate vagina. You will dine in bur-
lesque surroundings on the Peanut
B uddy deck. Every n igh t there wi 11 be
entertainmentby Rupp and his musi-
cal bras. The supportive cruise will
visit the island port of Kickapoo and
then go along the coast of the closet.
We will drop rod in Bombay and
spend all day bucking. You can live
obtusely for only 120 buttcheeks a
day, plus tax.
Spread the word: "Drop rod" is
sweeping the nation.
"I always chew them. I've never been
able to suck one all the way down."
Straight from the Frosh. Chem Book:
"They are like bugs who cannot
stand each other, but are forced to
reside on the surface of the same
billiard ball."
What in the Hell has Lon been teach-
ing you? By-the-way, Lon, consider-
ing this is my last opportunity to say
anything about you on the Back-
page, I'd like to take this precious
moment and say one simple yet
beautifully insightful sentence:
Chemists suck, Psychologists rule
(Dr. Limperis, PhD, Clinical Psychol-
ogy, '97) — don't worry, I'll still buy
you a Cuiness.
(3) Sid Bust
(2) Pay off the NIT referees.
And the number one thing the birth-
day laser light show money could
have been spent on:
(1) A one way trip to Harvard for
George Rupp.
Heard outside of Sid:
"At least she's not fucking a dick."
"I'm going to call my mother and
give her an orgas m."
— Jay "fratboy " Yates,
on greasing into phi beta kappa
"Only one more BP and I'm done
with that crap."
— P.T.L. now an ex BPE
Possibly the last Sidget comment
ever (yes, and I know you are happy
about it!):
"Excuse me, but could you get off my
body...I'd like to get some lemon-
ade."
That is all theories are. JARGON.
That's what makes them great.
No, no, your eyes are in your head!
From Piper's ENGL 422:
"Is there a difference between a geek
and a dork?"
You go to Rice, you tell me.
This goes out to all you ARCHIs (you
too Oakes!):
If you think it is stupid, then you are
right when you're talking about
architecture.
"Men's responses [to sex during
menses] vary from fear of being
stained to revelry in a bath of their
lovers' rosy flow. Some men insist on
towels and wipe-offs before, during
and after; others fingerpaint their
bodies like happy savages, in cele-
bration of fertility, life, and love."
RESPONSIBLE STUDENT WITH car
needed Monday-Friday, 3:30 to 6:00 p.m.
topickup8yr. old boy at school, supervise
homework, take to baseball, etc. Refer-
ences/good driving record required.
$5.00 & gasoline. 668-6853 evenings.
BUSTY MODELS NEEDED for new resort
magazine. Height, age, race, experience
unimportant Hurry! Can't find you at the
modeling agencies. 522-8104, M-F, 9-5.
ADOPTION: PROFESSSIONAL COUPLE
(Rice alumna) want to adopt infant We
have an active, happy, understanding
family (one adopted daughter). Don't let
agencies limit your choices. Well discuss
all options. Call Carol or Bob at 729-6053.
"I AM" ASCENDED Master instruction,
free weekly telephone broadcasts, 590-
7231.
Overheard at Ben's Wake:
"I get it where it's soft, and just start
rubbing."
Whose coffin were you in?
Also:
"I'm too drunk to die."
Did I see you there?
"I can't quit now. I haven't thrown up
yet."
You should have quit after WRC
night.
LSD soaks up47 times its own weight
in excess reality.
You know who you are, and you are
feeling very heavy.
Without the Greeks we wouldn't
have history. The Greeks invented
three kinds of columns —
Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They
also had myths. A myth is a female
moth. One myth says that the mother
of Achilles dipped him in the River
Stynx until he became intolerable.
Achilles appears in The Iliad, by
Homer. Homer also wrote Tro
Oddity, in which Penelope was the
last hardship that Ulysses endured
on his journey. Actually, Homer w is
not written by Homer but by a not* r
man of that name.
Nomination* are soon due for the Hugh
Scott Cameron Service Award. Please see
Sarah Nelson Crawford, Office of Student
Activities for details and forms.
At Brown:
"Her tongue really isn't quite that
adept."
"I can fill you up...Would you like to
lick the spout?"
The Top Ten things the Birthday La-
ser light show money could have
been spent on:
10) 100 kegs of Shiner.
(9) Lower everyone's tuition by three
bucks.
(8) A better sound system for the
party.
(7) Some rope and a tree to hang the
organizers from.
(6) $6000 worth of yellow ribbon.
(5) Take every student at Rice to see
the Bon Jovi laser light show.
(4) Buy a brand new Geo Metro!!!!
"He's the only guy that's ever marie
me scream in public."
Overheard on Brown 7:
Guy #1: I can't keep it down.
Guy#2: Well, if you would take you
hand off it...
Jay: "Make up something better and
put it in Harlan's mouth."
Harlan: "Yeah, that's it.'
Kurt knows beer.
Jay knows women.
Hello? Wake up here, will 'ya!
And they Fifi stared intently at that limp appendage then
named the tweeked it, and it worked for her Notes and Notices
baby Freud
Harlan: I don't get it.
Girl: Think with your head, not your
balls.
Harlan: I still don't get it.
Girl: We know.
I wouldn't take that.Harlan.
FINANCIAL AID FOR 1991-92. Forms
are now available in the financial aid office,
201 Lovett Hall. Deadline for filing forms
is June 1, 1991.
INTERESTED IN ROLE PLAYING and/or
wargaming? Come meet the Rice War and
Role Playing C hib (WARP) and play a game
or two on Friday at 7 p.m. in Sewall Hall
207. No experience necessary. Bring your
favorite games.
•CAREERS IN LAW, Tues., 4/2, 7 p.m„
SH 305. Speakers will be Linda Broods,
Baker ft Botts, and Ronnie Harrison,
Harrison & Egbert
•CAREERS FOR ART & ART HISTORY
majors, Wed., 4/3,7 p.m., CSC Conf. Rm.
Recent Rice alumni with majors in art & art
history will diacuss their current careers in
arts-related fields.
Volunteers needed in helping with the
High School Invitational Mathematics
Tournament (i.e. proctoring examina-
tions, hosting schools, etc.) on Saturday,
April 6,199i? Contact Julie at630-8721.
sports representative for more inforrna-
tion or call Lisa at phone number, 52 7-
4058.
The Top Nine reasons the GSA is
going to win 1991 Beer Bike...
9) That guy wearing that stupid
Viking hat is going to drive past the
keg and complete his laps — just
once.
8) Higher grad tuitition kept them
home practicing.
7) Dustin "I was lapped three times"
S. rumored to be riding Hanszen
again.
6) Only the GSA will show up in the
rain.
5) Steve Sain learned his lesson as an
undergrad.
4) Sonny's at UH downtown.
3) As seniors, the original Sidgets
have been too worried about Com-
encement to motivate the troops.
2) Rupp is aiming the firing pistol at
Jones.
And the number one reason the GSA
is going to win 1991 Beer Bike:
1991-92 CAREER ADVISOR applications
are due on Fri., 3/22. See your career
advisor, or stop by Career Services to get
an application.
THE RICE COUNSELING AND PSYCHI-
ATRIC Service is now offering a special
support group for friends and family
members of the servicemen and women
stationed in the Middle East Please call
Fran Scott at 527-4867 or campus exten-
sion 2526 for more information or if you
have questions.
UNDERGRADUATE PREREGISTRA-
TION-FALL 1991. All undergraduates
who plan to return in August must register
their course selections Monday, March 18
through Thursday, March 28. Students
who do not pre register and return in Au-
gust will be charged a $25 late fee. Instruc-
tions and registration forma will be avail-
able to students at their colleges March 6.
DESIGN A T-SHIRT FOR KTRU's 20th
anniversary and win free concert tickets,
albums, or whatever you want Be sure to
include KTRU, 91.7 FM, and something
about 20 years cf FM broadcasting. De-
signs are due by March 22. Campus mail
them to KTRU or please drop them by the
studio. Call 527-4098 if you have any
questions.
LOST AND FOUND. Ankle bracelet found.
Call Sarah at 630-8651 and identify to
claim.
CLUB OFFICERS: PLEASE check your
organization's mailbox at Student Organi-
zations Office, 2nd floor Ley Studnetr
Center, 9-2:30. All Rice organizations
have a mailbox here.
APPUCAnONS ARE NOW BEING AC-
CEPTED for the 1991-92 positions of
Willy's Pub Manager, Assistant Manager,
and Bartender Manager. Any undergradu-
ate is eligible. Applications are avaialble at
the Pub office, Mon.-Fri. before noon.
Completed applications are due by March
22. Interviews will follow. Any questions
should be directed to Wanda at 527-4056.
SPRING BREAK 1991 Sand Sculpting
Competition in Galveston,Texas at Stewart
Beach. Saturday, March 23, 8 a.m.—3
p.m. Call RPC for more information.
AUTRY HOUSE HOLDS a prayer meeting
at 12 noon and a Bible study at 3:30 p.m.
every Monday. For more information
please call Mary Maris at Lovett, 630-
8523, or Hie Rev. Mehrdad Abidari, 524-
3168.
ACTS (ASSORTED CHRISTIANS SING-
ING TOGETHER) meets Sunday nights
8:30-10:00 in Sewall 301. Join Ms—every-
one is welcome! Or for more info call 630-
8583 or 630-8721.
Chris Briggs is working for the GSA.
- Pete, BPE.
ALL DONE NOW.
CAREER SERVICES INFORMATION:
• 1991-92 CAREER ADVISOR applica-
tions are due TODAY! See the career advi-
sor in your college, or stop fay Career
Services to pick up an application.
•CAREERS IN advertising, Tues., 3/26,7
p.m., SH 305. Speaker will be Jesse Cae-
sar, Executive Creative Director ft Senior
Vice President, McCann-Ericlaon.
•CAREER PLANNING FOR freshmen and
sophomores, Wed., 3/27, 7 p.m. CSC
Conf. Rm. Learn about career options
avaialble to you. The Strong Interest Inven-
tory will be offered to interested students
($6.50 for the test).
ATTEND MOVIE—REVIEWER'S SNEAK
previews, interview live psychic astrolo-
gers, visit crime scenes with your very own
press passes plus a chance to hone your
fiction writing skills at the same time!
KTRU News needs new reporters, fine arts
reviewers, and announcers...Interested?
Call Daniel at 630-8247 or drop by the
KTRU studios.
THE J.S. BACH SOCIETY will present the
fourth Bach Vespers of the 1990-91 sea-
son on March 24 at 5:00 p.m. in the nave
of Christ the King Lutheran Church, 2353
Rice Blvd. at Greenbriar. Admission is
free, and babysitting is provided in the
church nurseiy. For more information,
call 523-2864.
THE COFFEEHOUSE IS OFFICIALLY
open! Sun.—Thurs. nights. Sammy's PDR.
Enter through the courtyard. Bring your
own mug! Espresso, cappucino, flavored
coffees, teas, sparkling waters, hot choco-
late ft light munchies. Live entertainment
every night
FOUND. PARKER MECHANICAL pencil
with name inscription. Call x3548to iden-
tify and claim.
ALL MEN'S SOFTBALL GAMES must be
made up by Sunday, March 24 and all co-
ed softball games must be made up by
Sunday, April 7.
MEN'S SOFTBALL PLAYOFF meeting will
be Monday March 25 at 5:30 p.m. in gym
classroom "A". All eligible teams will be
notified.
WED. MARCH 27 is final play results
deadline for men's & women's faculty-staff
tennis. x4058 to report score.
A LUNCH GROUP MEETS every Monday
at 11:30 a.m. in Will Rice College. Please
join us to share your thoughts on women's
issues.
LS AT
G M AT
MC AT
GRE
Simply the best
test prep available.
688-5500
THE
SATURDAY APRIL 6 IS the intramural
track ft field meet All entries are due on
r lists
syour
Wed., April 3 and all volunteer helper I
(for pis) are dueTueadi^ April 2. Seey
PRINCETON
REVIEW
We Score More!
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Moeller, Kurt & Yates, Jay. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 78, No. 29, Ed. 1 Friday, March 22, 1991, newspaper, March 22, 1991; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245780/m1/20/: accessed May 1, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.