Scouting, Volume 79, Number 4, September 1991 Page: 44
98, E1-E12, [16] p. : ill. (some col.) ; 28 cm.View a full description of this periodical.
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Here are 13 ways,
tested by experts, to get
lost in the woods. It's
easy. It's fun. It's the su-
preme wilderness kick.
You can avoid getting
lost, of course, by following the tried-
and-true safety rules. But where's the
adventure in that? You'll get a bigger
bang if you forget the fussy folklore and
boring advice, and just let yourself get
thoroughly disoriented. Then comes
the savage thrill of beating the odds
and fighting your way back. Believe it,
brother, high adventure never gets
higher!
Outdoor experts have identified the
13 moves described below to remove
yourself, at least temporarily, from the
human mainstream. Any one of the 13
will help you get lost, but the more of
them you make, the more totally lost
you'll be. And then you'll have that
much more fun and challenge when
you have to blood-hound your way
back to civilization.
Here they are:
1. Keep your plans
secret. Don't tell a
soul you're going for
a hike, or when, in
what direction, or
when you expect to
return. You're a free
spirit, and your plans
are nobody else's
business.
2. Don't familiar-
ize yourself with the
terrain you are to hike. The nervous
Nellies advise "know before you go."
Flapdoodle! Where's the adventure if
you know what's out there? Some sur-
prises can make your day.
3. Go it alone! Oh, some say a
partner can go for help if you get hurt.
(You—get hurt?) But then you'll have
to go for help if he gets hurt.
4. Forget map and compass. Did
Dan'l Boone carry a compass? No way!
And what good is a map unless you
know where you are on the map? In
that case, you're not lost!
5. Never trust a baseline. A baseline,
outdoor experts say, is a prominent lin-
ear feature—fancy term for a river,
row of hills, railroad track, power line,
or highway—that helps you know
which way to go.
But how can you be sure that yonder
line of hills is your line of hills? And
could that river you stumbled upon be
just a tributary of your river and point
you toward a swamp? Forget those
stories of lost hikers who followed a
baseline back to civilization. Pure luck!
44
Gtet
Lost
By James Moise
Illustrated by Bill Basso
Like outdoor adventure?
Enjoy a challenge? Then
ignore those outdoor experts
and their 'common sense'
rules of hiking safety.
6. Don't take a survival kit. Yes,
hikers are advised to carry a pouch of
emergency doodads: peanuts, raisins,
fish line, Scout knife, waterproof
matches, mirror for signaling, etc. But
consider: Did Davey Crockett need a
survival kit? Or General Custer?
7. Forget being observant. Conven-
tional wisdom dictates you note land-
marks as you bushwhack through the
wilderness. Horsefeathers! How many
trees have unusual holes or gnarled
branches? Five thousand, ten thou-
sand? What are the odds you'll pass
that tree again or recognize it if you
do? And above the timberline there
aren't any trees!
8. Don't stick to the trails. The rule
makers say only explore unknown ter-
ritory if you're expert with map and
compass. That's safe, but boring. You
might as well hike down Main Street.
9. Don't let darkness stop you! Tradi-
tionalists warn that hiking unfamiliar
trails after dark is hazardous. Fiddle-
faddle! Adventure
begins when you can
no longer see.
10. If lost, run,
don't walk. Experts
say stop and get hold
of yourself. But why
not charge off like a
scared moose? Then
you'll be pooped and
sweaty when you fi-
nally stop and try to
think.
11. Make it hard
for searchers to find you. Safety fuss-
budgets say build a smokey fire by
day, bright flames at night. Blow a
bugle—you did bring one, didn't you?
Stamp a large "H-E-L-P" in the earth
or snow for pilots to see. Yell a lot. No,
say I. You worked hard to get lost.
Now make it hard for them to get all
that glory for finding you.
12. Handicap yourself. Wear sum-
mer clothes in winter, don't bring a
canteen of water, use the hike to break
in your brand-new boots, leave sun-
glasses and sunscreen at home. Re-
member: no pain, no adventure.
13. Disregard common sense. If you
used common sense to begin with,
you'd have stayed home to watch TV.
Instead, for maximum, macho adven-
ture, try uncommon sense. Then
you'll end up with some great stories to
tell your grandchildren—if, of course,
you live that long. ■
Veteran outdoorsman and Scoutmas-
ter James Moise often writes with
tongue firmly in cheek.
September 1991 Scouting
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Boy Scouts of America. Scouting, Volume 79, Number 4, September 1991, periodical, September 1991; Irving, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth353571/m1/44/: accessed May 5, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Boy Scouts of America National Scouting Museum.