[Clipping: Custody battles leave none unscathed] Part: 3 of 4
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Star-
spangled,
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S ESTEGELNCs
ston Royal, NorthPark,.
village on the Parkway,
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lington, Piano, GarlandL.
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1 "-4
K-,.- -7
)PIIECY.
DAY:
ton, Plano .
'MROWUS. Department of the Interior. As for state recognition, the hotel has yet
The invitation to the party read: "Ann Draper, Eric Kimmel, Carolyn to apply for a state marker, according to Frances James, chairman of the
Draper Pettyjohn and Fred P. Center and the Rio Room invite you to see, 'Dallas County Historical Commislon's marker committee.
O' not toseeyour photoinDalas Fote." "There's no reason the hotel wouldn't qualify (for astate marker),"
Some Puests saw their picture. James says. "The hotel meets the major cdiieria, As soon as they go
Some didnot. _through the rigmarole," she assures, "they'll be able to get a state histori-
Publishers of Dallas Haute - a new coffee table book filled with pho- cal marker." \-
Teens experience tug of war over controlContinued from Page 1C.
between ages 12 and 15, many
youngsters don't want their parents
oberving them," said Freda
Rebeisky, a developmental
psychologist and professor of
psychology at Boston University.
"'They don't even want a
compliment because that means the
parents are watching."
'there are many reasons for the
silent routine. Eron suggested that -
the Nubjects adolescents want to .
talk about are often too
embarrassing to talk about with
their parents. Or, he said, .
adolescents don't trust their-
parents as much as their peers to -
understand, to know what's
current, to be able to advise.
Rebelsky agreed. Adolescence is
a time of body changes, she said,
"and teen-agers may not consider
many of these changes discussable;
or they may not understand the
A changes and therefore cannot
articulate how they feel about
them, or they may not have the
vocabulary to do so"-
The data seem to bear this out. In
a study of 350 sixth-, seventh- andr
4
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t
71
1-4
eighth-graders in Chicago's
suburbs, for example, Anne C.
Petersen, professor of human
development at Pennsylvania State
University, noted that the
youngsters could generally
describe the biological changes_
they were experiencing but not
what those changes meant to them.
"Perhaps it was too intimate," she
said. "Or perhaps they'really didn't
understand."
- Other factors contribute.to teen-
agers becoming taciturn. Petersen
and her colleagues noticed that
they were intensely interested in
relationships but uncertain enough
about themto prefer dealing with
them indirectly - over a telephone
or through letters to pen pals. "The
kids were beginning to explore
intimacy," Petersen said, "but
found it safer at a distance."-
Autonomy is also an issue.
"Teen-agers want more autonomy
but don't know quite how to cope
with it," she said. "Not talking to
par nts is a way of establishing
me separation." .
Said Rebeisky, "Not telling
parents everything also is a way forthe child to say 'trust me."'
For Gail Parent, the author, it
was a way for her son to "act cool."
"My 14-year-old read A Separate
Peace and thought it was great
when the book's main character-
kept his accomplishments to'
himself," she explained. "So, for a
year, he drove me nuts by not
telling me that he had won a tennis
tournament or had handed in a
wonderful project at school.""
. And there can be a tug of.war
over control. "Adolescents often
feel subject to overwhelming
changes - and not just biological
ones," Petersen said. "They are
usually changing schools, too,
moving from a safe environment to
a new, larger, scarier one. The way
to re-establish a feeling of control is
to keep people at bay - especially
parents.".
"Not sharing every single
thought and experience with me is
a way for my children to assert
their individuality," said Barbara
Rosenberg of Manhattan, whose
daughters are 13 and 14%. "And
that's fine - although I admit it's
rough when you have to learn from- .Movie Sale!.
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; It's not that the Rosenberg
offspring never talk to their
parents. "But whenthey come
home from school and I ask, 'How
was your day?' they mumble a one-
word answer," Rosenberg said. "I
sometimes wonder whether 'in'
going deaf or is it that they don't
think I'm deserving of a response?"As many parents have found,
asking general questions, like "How
was school?" seem destined to get
one-word replies, like "OK."
Rosenberg's solution? "Be specific,"
she said, adding, "Of course, that
can take all day."
What else can parents do?
Maintain a good perspective,
psychologists say. "Remember, this
is a normal stage of adolescence
and it, too, shall pass," Rebelsky
said. Moreover, she said, "parents
must understand that this
uncommunicative creature is not
the entire child - a part of whom
may still want a hug."
"In a sense, it means not acting
like an adolescent with your
adolescent," Petersen said. "Don't
think, well, it's finally happened.
My child isn't talking to me, so
forget it, I won't talk to him. Be
there for the child, maintain some
line of communication."S350-2616
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[Clipping: Custody battles leave none unscathed], clipping, April 30, 1985; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc1404415/m1/3/: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.