[Research Notes: Tina Kaufman Testimony] Page: 9 of 16
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Stopped marr. for 3 months. Things got horn. in July 95 started marr couhs again. Still wasnted working, in fact
was getting worse. In Sept or Oct. of 95 we had agreedd in counseling to split up. But Sh wanted me to stay in
house through Chirstmas holidasy bec. she didn't want to tell her mother, who alwasy come out during
chiristmas. I thought it was a bad idea, but I agreed to it.
But I ended up not staying at house. Split up before that happened.
Still I wasn't allowed to tell Mike. At this point we were really fighting in terhapy. I said, how can we call this
man family when he diesn't even know were having problems, much less splitting up.
I thinkw e had a bad therapist, because she let sh. ake that demand.
She was afr. Mike would come take the girls.
I couldn't imagine that we'd made such error in jdugment that w'd pick a man who would do that. But even then,
the law stood behind us. \\
But there was no reasoning with her. She said bs., if you go to mike i'll leave you right now.
Since I never warned the divorce, I never went to mike.
What happ was, Sh acc. me of having affiar time and time again. I came home at night, she had girls awake,
locked them in car, told me she wanted me out of the house. Nov. 95. And she drove away. Didnt' tell me where
she was taking girls. Oldest awaoke, cried, wanted me, she locked doors and drove away. Didn't say where
going.
I went and stayed with a fined. Decided at taht point we had already agreed to split up. This was just intereim
where I was to be staying for her mother. Decided it was time to split up.
Next day, Sh reneged, called said come bakc, I said no.
At this point, she was saying, well work it out, we'll try harder. It was k/o like beating a dead horse at that point.
It was over 2 mobntsh before that.
When first split up, I got apt. and had kids over at my house sometimes on weeknights, sometimes on weekends.
Not a set thing, but usually had one weekend a moht usually watch kids when sh was in class weeknights. Mike
usually also watched one night week when she taught class.
Vbisits got prog. less, but went on for a year. Then last time they were over my hosue reg. was Xmas 96. I hd
grad from PA proram. They spent day wth me, ngiht at my house. Then sh ref. to allow girls at my house. But I
could see at her house or see at church, and she would bring them early. We didn that for a while.
Sh called him when I moved out.
So Mike and I talked hour over phone. Mike said his concern was I owuld walk way from family and he didn't
want that. I assured him that was not my intention. that I was still girls mother. What I really wanted was for four
of us to sit down and discuss how to work this sep. to make it in the best inetrest of the girls.
Mike didn't want to do that. Mike refused to sit down with Sh and I.
She. and I thoguht it out for a year or so. Then she refused. Mike said, give her some time, she's angry. Mike
said Sh. had this brokenness inside of her. He didn't know how to appr. her. He was afr. that if he pissed Sh.
off she would do the same thing to him she did with me. He felt in a precarious position because he had no legal
rights tiehr. So he adamantly refused to approach her on this. Told me give her time, shell come around.
What happened was over time she'd b3egin bringing girls lat e to SS so I had less time with them, other things to
lessen time I had with them.
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[Research Notes: Tina Kaufman Testimony], text, February 3, 1998; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc824944/m1/9/: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.