The Town Tattler (Electra, Tex.), Vol. 66, No. 50, Ed. 1 Monday, December 14, 1998 Page: 4 of 4
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By Ace Reid
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If you see someone grumpy,
No
That
is
9
•gift,
burned-out light bulb?
icing!
o—
I
n
towering
NO
CRGplT
, Don’t insult the alligator until
after you’ve crossed the river.
People are marvelous in their
generosity if they just know
• the cause is there.
Mobile
some
of
ever
t
them, even if theygrowL
Will Rogers SalS
It’s great to be great but
greater to be human.
WAGE4
COW POKES
0
Kids' Instrnctions On
Mfe
The following is from children,
ages 7 to 16.
Cold
beer |
L__•(
I N° 1
I Cv'SSfN |
@ AtG
O/8/50
Tfe Original
2
If you wish to make a *real*
sponge cake, BORROW all
the ingredients.
"Poor ol* Zeb, he’s plumb wore out keeping up
with the crisis at the White House.”
Never tell your mom her
diet's networking.
Don't pick on your sister
when she’s holding a baseball
bat.
When you get a bad grade in
school, show it to your mom
when she’s on the phone.
Never try to baptize a cat
Never spit when on a roller
coaster.
Never do pranks at a police
station.
Beware of cafeteria food
when it looks like it's moving.
Never tell your little brother
that you're not going to do
what your mom told you to
do.
Remember you're never too
old to hold your father's hand.
Listen to your brain. It has
lots of information.
Stay away from prunes.
Never dare your little
. brother to paint the family
car.
We will have true civilization
, until we have learned to
• recognize the rights of others.
'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right
now, I bet you think that die
bucket you're holding has a
bottom.'
_
19 annoying one
20 singer Billie Jo
22 TXbahd:".
the Wheel"
24 Airman's .college
't : state labbr.y
25 TXism: "dull as
week-sodapop'
42 TXism: "ain't
hill for a stepper"
43 to "tan his hide* in TX
44 vitamin B acid type
45 TX actress Parker (init.)
46 TX-sized phone co.
47 awaken from sleep
48 picture show places
50 rich Texan’s boat
51 Texan born between
July 23 and Aug. 22
52 he's Tiny and definately
not a Texan
9
53 TXism:
“ -horse
town"
DOWN
1 TXism:’
R&R in Red River, NM ©
the Bull of The Woods
Saloon.
Meet Charles, Margo £
Jack the Bar Bog. Walking i
distance to all major lodges!
& ski lift. S05-I5S-2593 |
< New**Preowned
Homes for Sale, some on
property already set-up. Call
— more information—
Flexible Financing.
940-851-8449* *800-852-7920.
j|i
i X
• 1
»
remember that everything
is energy, so based on the
position of the moon and
the....
Pisces: Light bulb? What light
bulb?
• Courage is not die f
' oak that sees storms come and
I go; it is the fragile blossom for
I that opens in die snow. -Alice
•M. Swaim
Don’t gamble. Take all your
savings and buy some good
stock and hold it til it goes up
and then sell it. If it don’t go
up, don’t buy it.
w 1
th n Hinnr
• America is a land
-opportunity and don’t
forget it.
----o------------
fl
SURBURBAN LIVING New
3br/2ba, Doublewide on
acreage, -$350.00 a month,
Central air/heat, Deck and
more! W.A.C. (10%down, 7
l/2%apr. 360mo.)
940-851-8449**800-852-7920
along. I have been eating
' • pretty regular and the reason
I have been is because I have
stayed an old country boy.
34 TX Ralna English
performed for
Lawrence
35 C&W singer LeDoux
.37 in Hidalgo Co. on 88
38 Texans call it an
’ankle"
40 SMU actress Bates
41 TXism: "dead as a
nail"
44 worry
47 TX golfer Byron
Nelson's place of
birth (2 wds.)
49 "You Gotta Have an
the Hole"
Ones in the Star Chamber
of the Ancient Hierarchical
Order.
Sagittarius: The sun
shining, the day is young,
we've got our whole lives
ahead of us, and you’re
Forget the cake. Go for the inside worrying about a stupid ’ 'Impossible,'
Snof burned-out light bulb? ' —1--------J
Capricorn: I don’t waste my
time with these childish
'jokes.
-------o---■------
Sign Bulb
How many sun signs of a
particular type does it take to Aquarius: Well, you have to
change a light bulb?
Aries: Just one. You want to
make something of it?
Taurus: One, but just *try* to
convince them that the
burned-out one is useless and
should be thrown away.
Gemini: Two, but the job
' never gets done — they just
keep arguing about who is
supposed to do it and how it’s
supposed to be done!
Cancer: Just one. But it takes
a therapist three years
to help them through the grief
process.
to rope
him" (large man)
2 home of the
Reporter-News
3 TXism: i
a day" (quit)
4 TXism: "you’re
buying oats for
____horse"
(wasted effort)
9 this Sam won
Dallas Open in
’45, '57 & ’58
10 UT grad Fernando
Belaunde-Terry was 24 Ail
pres, of this country
11 Harlingen has
Jima monument
12 TXism: "put__
bed with a shovel"
(bury)
13 choo chocs
14 TXism:" a
monkey's uncle"
15 Kilgore Rangerettes
founder: Gussie
- Davis
<16 Lone Star Co. 26 New Mexico Indian
27 TX-filmed The
Picture Show"
28 suffocates in water
29 toys in the wind
30 TXism: "got a heart
as big as Texas"
33 union at Arlington
Never trust a dog to watch
your food.
When you want something
expensive, ask your
grandparents.
Never smart off to a teacher
whose eyes and ears are
twitching.
Wear a hat when feeding
seagulls.
Sleep in your clothes so
you'll be dressed in the
morning.
Never try to hide a piece of ■
broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't flush the toilet when
you dad's in the shower.
Never ask for anything that'
costs more than five dollars
when your parents are doing
taxes.
Never bug a pregnant mom.
Don't ever be too full for
dessert
When your dad is mad and
asks you, "Do I look stupid?"
don't answer him.
THIS WEEKS SPECIAL
16’X80*. 3br/2ba, Delivered,
set-up, central heat/air, Deck,
steps, skirting, washer/dryer
and more! $199.00 a
month(10%dn*300mo.@8 1/4 apr)
940-851-8449**800-852-7920
bulbs, although sometimes
their agent will get a Virgo in
to do the job for them while
they're out.
Virgo: Approximately
1.000000 with an error
of +/-1 millionth.
Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one.
on second thought,
make that two. Is that OK
;with you?
Scorpio: That secret
information can be shared
only with the Enlightened bucket in front of his private
parts and sighed with relief.
The ladies got nearby and
looked at him. He felt
awkward and wanted to move.
Then one of the ladies said:
’You know ,1 have a special
I can read minds.’
r said the
embarrassed man, ’You really
know what I think?’
ACROSS
1 organization for the
performing arts in
Dallas (abbr.)
5 TXism:"
hombre" (mean)
6 ex-Astro Darryl
7 TX Mae
Morse sang "Cow-
Cow Boogie"
8 Luling’s "Watermelon
Thump" features
this melon contest
17 TXism: "full of spit
vinegar"
18 TX Johnny Horton’s
"Battle of
21 TXism: "let it
22 aviation prefix
23 Buddy Holly's bass
player Tommy
24 TX Charley Pride’s
"Wonder
Live There Anymore
29 Nacogdoches FM
30 Beeville AM/FM
31 favorite abbr.
of Jerry Jones
32 oldest in Houston:
of
Christ Church
34 TX Gary Morris'
"Sweet Red "
35 TX belonged to this
in Civil War (abbr.)
36 dreary, dismal
37 TX-based Haggar
makes slacks
38 TXism: "right 1"
(specific location)
39 TXism: "green as
- -. -corn"
41 fixes socks
TEXAS
CROSSWORD
4 ; .^iGharl^.& Guy Orbison
^f"-^opyrfJiH998byOit>lson Bros.
-14
O---
"Whoever said you can't buy
happiness forgot about
puppies."
—Gene Hill
I am just an old country boy
in a big town trying to get
GM plant
Leo: Leosdon t change light weanier was very an(j
this man wanted desperately
to take a dive in a nearby lake.
He didn't bring his swimming
outfit, but who cared? He was ;
all alone. So he undressed and * do or say something nice to
got into the water.
.After some delightful minutes *
•of cool swimming, a pair of
old ladies walked onto the
• shore in his direction. He
panicked, got out of the water
and grabbed a bucket lying in
the sand ri&frb$?He held the
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The Town Tattler (Electra, Tex.), Vol. 66, No. 50, Ed. 1 Monday, December 14, 1998, newspaper, December 14, 1998; Electra, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1242714/m1/4/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Electra Public Library.