The Town Tattler (Electra, Tex.), Vol. 66, No. 7, Ed. 1 Monday, February 16, 1998 Page: 2 of 4
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wouldn't you think a good
costume would be to dress up
bke the boss’s wife? Trust rue.
it's not.
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What the_______________?
If any of the following
thoughts have ever occurred
to you, you might consider
having your medicine
changed.
When I
skull in the woods, the first
thing I did was call the police.
But then I got curious about
it. I picked it up, and started
wondering who this person
was, and why he had deer
horns.
I hope some animal
never bores a hole in my head
and lays its eggs in my brain,
because later you might think
you're having a good idea but
it’s just eggs hatching.
If I ever get real rich,
* hope I’m not real mean to
poor people, like I am now.
Broken promises
upset me. I just think.
■ me?
Consider the daffodil.
—‘ you're doing that,
over here, looking
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PAGE 2
THE TOWN TATTLER
Published by
Ted Bishop
107 N. Waggoner
Electra, Texas
Price--------------Your Smile
Any erroneous reflection
upon the character, standing
or reputation of any person,
firm or corporation which may
appear in the columns of the
Town Tattler, will be gladly
corrected upon its being called
to the attention of the
publishers.
Notice
The entire content of this
publication is copyright
protected by the publisher.
Any copying or publication of
any part or entirety must have
the prior written expressed
approval of The Town Tattler
signed by the publisher.
—0————
Please remember to attend
the church of your choice this
Sunday. If you are new in
town, all the churches are
listed in the phone book. They
will be more than glad to help
you. It’s the best place in the
world to make GOOD friends.
TO CONTACT US
To place an ad, submit
news, contribute an article
or just to complain, please
call us at 495-4088. If no
answer leave a message.
You can fax whatever you
want to 495-4663. The
mailing address is P.O.Box
287 Electra, TX 76360. E-
Mail:
TOWNTAT@AOL.COM
-----------------0----------------
CHLORINE IS ON THE
WORLD WIDE WED
Chlorine Jones and the
Town Tattler are now on the
Web. Thanks to an invite
from the Ft. Worth Star
Telegram, old Chlorine’s
articles are now available to
the entire world through the
Internet via that paper’s
awesome Internet presence
and web site.
For those of you who are on-
line, the Tattler is located at:
http://www. virtualtexan. com/
comm/virtual/creek. htm
------------------0------------------
Ha
"Xt °"e ",h°has ,ric<i
Thinking Put Loud
by: Rod McQueary
Inventions of note...
Reports of my sizeable
personal fortune have been
modestly exaggerated. No, my
precious wife and I do not live
in a castle on snob hill. We
rent a modest place in Starr
Valley, NV, and raise kids.
Sue has three, I have four,
seven-(count ’em again) seven,
between us. We always have
some, and sometimes have a
lot...of kids. So I am always on
the lookout for ways to make
our existance easier, especially
about making them all chip in
on the chores. Here are a
couple of innovations that
might help.
Oogla, our Neanderthal
sixteen year old, recently
broke his mother’s favorite
bread-mixing bowl. Oogla
grunted and pointed g^itea<^Or^j‘oine,nadJ
apparently? / fheSanin^T he dJT,ng accidt
washed it successfully, but the
heap of dishes and chunks of
food already in the drainer
prevented a basketball style
slam-dunk, so he broke it
dribbling back for a three-
pointer.
We tried to glue it all back
together, but a couple pieces
must have fallen in my stew-
of-the-week, (jerky and rice)
and got lost. It was Humpty-
Dumpty deja vu. Oogla was
done with his dish washing
chores by then, so he went
back to killing bugs with a
hammer.
Those few of you who are not
yet aware of my prowess as an
inventor may be surprised to
learn I am not just another
pretty face. It is my visionary
skill behind those highly
successful combination
Impotent!) -So I know you'll
be as exited as I am about my
ywAAfiN-J
full-face
with the
Oogla couldn't get it off, ;
it was a particular pleasure to
watch him notice the fresh- keep brains i
roken brush and damaged tip: why
ence when he finally gave up lemon i
trymg. You'll also find the freshness?
muzzle a
company comes.
. For. the truly cleaning
impaired, I offer p 8
last, best hope for
cleaner household.,
mess dog.
“Never wuz much rider ol* hoss, but it seems
like right now I ain't got no choice!"
salad to large animal surgery.
To set, merely put one on each
side of your Oogla-plate,
blades turned in. 1 tested these
by prying up man-hole covers,
and they work just dandy.
Oogla bent one, but I still
don't know how. I think he
was chewing it and fell down.
Have you watched your teen
slog through knee-deep dirty
clothes and not see them?
Suffered the heartbreak and
embarrassment of learning
the missing airline with 300
doomed passengers... crashed
in his bedroom...and he didn't
notice?
Let me introduce my cruddy-
teen bedroom final-
solution...Mess-Seeing glasses.
You and your partner can get
a pair for each teen and revel
in ecstacy as they recoil in
horror from all that crap on
floor and walls that they have don’t f
ignored so well, so long. I why did they believe"
suggest the optional lockable ~
motorcycle helmet And while
mess-seeing visor. I’ll be c
> and through your stuff.
For mad scientists who
— in jars, here's a
not add a slice of
to each jar, for
V'
i r imw. fl
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i-rwW'
latest invention, "Oogla-
ware"..teenage-dishwasher
safe table tools for proper
ladies and gentlemen.
The plates will be high tinsel-
graphite, same as the Lear Jet
bodies. I personally tested
twenty five Oogla dishes by
dropping them eighty stories
from a high-rise building
recently. None broke, but the
sidewalk was chipped severely,
and a parking meter was
sheared off by a ricochet.
Several dishes got kind of
messy, but only because those
stupid pedestrians wouldn't
stay back. For the Viking in
the family, the matching bowls
will be handy for use as
helmets and battering ram
tips.
I have personally designed
and offer gorgeous titanium
wine glasses, able to withstand
de washing and
without
showing a scratch or dent.
When you give a stirring toast
and throw one of these babies
across your hearth, it's
"Goodby, Mr. Fireplace." On
the morning after one of these
toast-giving parties, just dig
your Oogla-glasses out >of the
ashe^s and broken chunks of
brick, and you'll find they'll
be as good as new.
The flatware is not only very,
very pretty, but a new design I
worked . .out myself. Each
lovely piece is a combination
fork and spoon on the one
end, knife on the other. This
greatly simplifies the
silverware drawer, eliminating
the stupid and confusing
divider where your teen dish-
doer had to suffer that time
consuming job of identifying
all those forks, knifes, and
iple of ffiese iiewjkffifoons,'
and you are ready for
everything from a crisp tossed
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You were born able to hear. You gotta learn to
listen.
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The Town Tattler (Electra, Tex.), Vol. 66, No. 7, Ed. 1 Monday, February 16, 1998, newspaper, February 16, 1998; Electra, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1242829/m1/2/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Electra Public Library.