The Traveler (Giddings, Tex.), No. 4, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 11, 1982 Page: 9 of 20
twenty pages : ill. ; page 12 x 10 in. Digitized from 35 mm. microfilm.View a full description of this newspaper.
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This issue, I thought I'd
do a serious column. I really
need to get this problem off
my chest. Those with a weak
stomach may want to skip this
column. It may not be a pret- •
ty picture I draw today.
My problem? I am a teen-
age schizophrenic. That's
right, I have two personali-
ties. One is the nice, lova-
ble person you all know. The
other is a wicked ruthless
person with great powers.
It is sort of a Jeckyll ana Hy-
Hy-Hy-No! Not now: Noooo. . .
This is the DemonNeil speak-
:ng (or writing as the case
may be). Gone is that snivel-
inc. wishy-washy kid that
writes these horrible columns
all the time. DemoNeil is
here and he is fire and life
incarnate! (All right you co-
lic book fans out there; you
right think, I stole that from
the Dark Phoenix Saga in the
X-Men. Wrongo: Chris Chlare-
mont stole it from me!)
I am loose once again to
wreak havoc on mankind. Let
me just pop into my fiery de-
mon state--POP!--and here I
go, soaring to the one place
that I can wreak the most ha-
voc: Northcross Mall.
As I land, I fill my qustai
of tire blowouts and running
down the batteries in cars by
turning on the lights, but one
with power like mine shouldn't
waste his time on such pranks.
So I wander into the mall
looking over the pitiful mass-
es of--ugh!--humans milling a-
round. I notice a few people
gathered around a table. Cur-
iosity aroused, I glide over
to the scene.
Awww. There is a young mo-
ther holding her haby--ner
first-born no doubt—proudly
in her arms. T momentarily
pretend to be like the other
lowly creatures going ga-ga
over the child. I reach down
with my finger and tickle the
youngster's chin and I give it
a"Coochie-goochie-goo!" Then
I look up to the mother and
say, "Oh well, he might grow
up to be a beautiful swan."
Oh DemoNeil, that was a
good one. It's been a long
time since you did anything
like that. The little mother
may not have liked that crack,
but wait until the kid sprouts
feathers!
The pet store is old now.
I used to have so much fun in
there, but after you've put
the cats in the bird cages,
the gerbils by the snakes, and
the dogs in the aquariums ( I
didn't know what else to do
with the dogs) what else can
you do?
What can I do in the book
store today? Ch well, let's
change a couple of covers
here. That chick thinks she's
buying a copy of Scruples
Just wait until she start s
reading and finds the complete
set of the My Friend Flicka
books!
But, gee, I'm bored. It
seems like I've done every-
thing already. Flying people
aren’t fun anymore. Roaches
in Furr's Cafeteria got old so
quickly I am fire and life
incarnate! I should be the
ruler of the universe. I
should crush this pony civili-
zation and...
No. I don't want to get
mixed up in world ruling. To
much politics invovled. Yuck!
Yuck? An all powerful dem-
on does not say "Yuck!" I
don't believe what is happen-
ing to...
Fountains! Water! What
belongs in water?
Ships! The Queen Mary!
Boats!
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The Traveler (Giddings, Tex.), No. 4, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 11, 1982, newspaper, February 11, 1982; Giddings, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1636837/m1/9/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Giddings Public Library and Cultural Center.