The Baylor County Banner. (Seymour, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 20, Ed. 1 Friday, February 16, 1912 Page: 7 of 8
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JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME
How Ltirnid Linguist Brought
ll«f to Situation That Wat
Becoming Painful.
Ro-
The guests at a certain stag party
were very dry. Considerable time
h«d elapsed since the emptying of
the last bottle, ami the host, en-
grossed with anecdotes, had made no
move to remedy matters. It was
really a serious situation—one that
might become at any moment pain-
M.
How relieve it? Chance offered a
way.
One of the dry brotherhood, point-
ing casually to a Latin inscription
over the fireplace, asked—just for
ihe sake of saying something:
"Say, what does that inscription
mean in English?" Then he turned
to another of the guests, known for
his prowess as a linguist.
"Surely you can tell us what it
means," he said.
The linguist looked the inscrip-
tion over very, very carefully.
"That," he observed finally, "is a
sentence taken from the works of
•Horace, which, rendered into Eng-
lish, means: '.Said the governor of
North Carolina to the governor of
South Carolina—'"
Before he could get any further
the ho^t woke up. Thereafter,
throughout the evening, there was
never a lull.—Exchange.
MIDOCEAN REPARTEE.
As evidence that Englishmen are
not. without a dry sense of humor,
the marquis of Queensberrv, now
touring the l^iited States, told tho
following story during his New
.York visit:
Two Englishmen were paying
court to the same American girl on
a transatlantic trip. Their steamer
chairs were placed on either side of
hers, and even- fair day the rivals
Would sit for hours with the fair
American, each trying to cut the
other out. One of the two was no-
toriously parsimonious. The men
«poke of hi in as one who "had never
bought a drink in his life," and his
stinginess was manifested even in
the way he smoked his cigars down
fa the last quarter of an inch.
One morning the English "tight
wad," while n^onopolizing the Amer-
ican girl's entire attention, smoked
a cigar until it began to singe his
mustache. The other chap watched
him languadly as he arose to to«3
the'tiny cigar stump overboard. As
he returned from the rail his rival
dfew bis pipe from his mouth and
observed:
"I say, old chap, I do hope that
won't get in the propeller."
THACKERAY'S QUEST OF LUCRE.
(1850) ... I read over tho
■first of Pendennis today, all the Em-
ily Costigan part, and liked it, I am
glad to say, but shocked to think
that I had forgotten it, and read it
almost as a new book. T remembered
allusions of particular states of
mind. . . . T wonder what will
happen with Pendennis and Fanny
Bolton; writing it and sending it to
jro« somehow it seems as if it were
toe. I shall know more about them
tomorrow; but mind, mind and keep
the manuscript: you see it is five
pages, fifteen ponnds, by the immor-
tal gods!—A Collection of Letters of
Ifackeray.
APPROPRIATE MEANS.
"How did the ship thread her way
in the battle through the attacking
vessels ?"
"I guess she did it with a needle
ft
gvn.
VALUE OF BUTTER TASTERS OPENING UP FRENCH ALPS
ONE WAY.
Willis—Then you think it is pos-
sible to stop the divorce evil ?
Qillis—Certainly. Merely let it
become common enough to lie un-
fashionable.—Puck.
Wtro an Important Medium of Ex-
change Among Indiana Living
Along tho Short.
"Butler tasters" is the name chil-
dren give to the violet tinted, worn
fragments of clam shells that are
found on most beaches. These "but-
ter tasters" were an important medi-
um of exchange among the Indian
tribes living along the shore in their
trading with other natives further
inland.
It can readily be understood that
Indians sufficiently adept in the art
of chipping arrow heads and other
implements of hard flint could easily
manufacture rude "money" out of
the more attractive colored pieces
of these water-worn shells, and this
they did, giving to this medium of
exchange the name Luckahauk,
somewhat after the style of wam-
pums.
It may be surprising to many,
especially craft workers, to know
what really beautiful "stones" these
same so-called Luckahauks will pro-
duce when cut and polished into
symmetrical form from pieces of suf-
ficient thickness and showing the
rich and beautiful violet colorings
that many of them possess.
Such as are found on the beach
are necessarily dull, with no polish,
due, of course, to the wear of the sea
and sand, but bv proper treatment
on the laps are brought to a very
high polish and look very rich in-
deed, being entirely unlike any
other "gem."
Having considerable hardness,
they will wear almost indefinitely
when once polished. The colors
blend beautifully with silver, eitheT
in bright or antique finish, while
their beauty is heightened by treat-
ment or embellishment with small
baroque or seed pearls, small ame-
thysts or other harmonizing stones.
—Handicraft.
ANOTHER IDEA
Mrs. Byrne Coyne—If you earned
more we could save more.
Mr. Byrne Coyne—It isn't what
a man earns, but what his wife
doesn't spend that finally enables
him to arouse the envy of his neigh-
bors.
EXPERIENCE.
She—Isn't it dreadful when bats
get in your head?
He—It is dreadful the next morn-
ing-
EXPLAINING IT.
"That man has l>een well drilled
in society functions."
"Perhaps that is why he looks 60
boTcd."
TRAGIC POSSIBILITY.
TTncle Leven, a grizzled old wood
sawyer, was told by a lady for whom
he had been working to wait in the
kitchen for his supper. Aunt Caro-
line, the cook, filled his plate with
choice bits from the "great house"
table, and Uncle Leven fell upon
them with relish. Soon, however, a
cloud crossed his face.
"What ail you, Unc' Leven?''
asked Aunt Caroline, solicitously.
"Is you got er pain ?"
" 'Tain't dat, Sis' Calline," said
Uncle Leven, but I's 'feared I'll git
filled up befo' I eats all I wants."
HAD TO DO SOMEONE.
"Why do you try to work off this
old quarter on me?" demanded the
cigar man, tartly. [
"Because the street car conductor j
wouldn't take it," the customer re-
plied, loftily.—Buffalo Express.
FOR GOOD CAUSE.
"Isn't Billhoffer the most imp*.-,
tient man you ever saw?"
"No. The most impatient man I'
ever saw had a fishlione stuck in his
throat."
Touring Club Plant Ntw Automobile
Routt From Lakt Gtntva
to tht Set.
Americans who take their motor
cars to France- a few of them, at
least—have explored the beatifies of
the French Alps between Lake Oe-
ne\a and the Hiviera. But (o the
ordinary tourist this is an almost
closed region. Only a few points
within it can be reached by railroad,
and the roads have not been of the
best.'
The Touring club of France ten
years ago tried to have better roada
opened through this interesting re-
gion, but its appeals met with offi-
cial indifference.
Now, however, the railroads have
seen the possibilities, and there has
this summer been inaugurated a
service of automobiles^ combined
with what railways there are, from
Nice to Evian on Lake Geneva.
The Touring club Is planning,
with the aid of the now interested
officials to secure improved roads
that will make easy automobile rid-
ing the entire distance, avoiding the
railroads entirely. When completed
this route will be close to the It'alian
frontier alomst the whole journey.
It will make accessible some of the
quaintest of ro<k villages, and will
range in climate from the almost
tropical vegetation of the Hiviera to
the barren, snow-clad slopes of the
mountain passes.
HE IS THE CHAMPION PARENT
There Are Thirty-two Children Who
Call John W. Guy of Vir-
ginia "Dad."
John W. Guy, father of .32 chil-
dren, lies dangerously ill at. his home
in Nelfa, Ya.
Mr. Guy is seventy-nine years old
and a prosperous farmer. He was
born April 6, 18152. Despite his
years he was robust until about a
mouth ago, with glossy black hair,
and worked on his farm nearly every
day. He has been thrice married.
Guy first married Mary Ann Red-
field in 1885 and she bore him seven
children. His second marriage was
an elopement.
Lola Crockett, sixteen years old,
became Guy's wife when he was in
his sixty-fifth year. Of this union
seven children were born. A boy
and girl, twins, arrived when Guy
was seventy-six.
Of Guy's 32 children—21 sons and
11 daughters—23 are still living, the
eldest, a son, being fifty-six years
old. All of his sous are fathers of
large families.
"I have always lived a Christian
life," Guy says. "I have been a mem-
ber of the Onancoek Methodist
church for over fifty years. I have
had three wives. I can truthfully
say that not one quarrelsome word
has passed between myself and either
of them."
UMBRELLA IN ENGLAND.
The umbrella is gaining ground
in England. It has long been the
popular impression in this country
that all Englishmen carry umbrellas
whether it is raining or not, but it
is only of late that the smart, slen-
der, tightly rolled umbrella has beeu
driving out the cane. During the
last summer there was a marked re-
vival of sticks, but with the advent
of the autumn rains fhev are going
back to the rack, and the place of
the umbrella is as secure as before.
In this country except perhaps in
circles where London styles are faith-
fully followed, there seems to be a
slight falling off, if anything, in the
use of umbrellas, for which motor-
ing aad the popularity of waterproof
coats have been held responsible.
ARE GIRLS SELF-CENTERED?
Writtr Cc tt to the Front With Rath
•r Severe Crltlcltm ©' the
Modern Young Woman.
The f-ct ii'i i lines, of iii,. mod-
ern yo'iiij woman h utuioving and
unattr. i\, > ih,».»ldei women who
have b rimed t<< show inti re-t mi
the pe i w ith whum tliev come m
contact
In Hi' t (lav- it wnj not consid-
ered g I maim, rs for a voting girl
to be i mntrr. -1• ■•! m,| indifTt rent to
what li r c!der> -aid of her, bill now-
adays^ not t v< n strive t" dis-
guise her lack of ii\t< rest and her
air of absolute bored • an affront
agttin>-° g'»od ta-le :;i-» I , edillg.
She frequently maintains an ah-
sorbed silcnet u' , i a with fur in-
timate •> i of voun^ friends, or else
answers in mi, !i | , ;nvlcss anil in-
different manner that older women
hesitat. to draw her into conversa-
tion.
What has become of the voting girl
who was always sweel and agreeable
to older persons, who used her pret-
tiest mamiei and most charming
smile when talking to them? Surely
we have not seen the last of her, for
she \ta« on of the most refreshing
things in life.
Aim: the young person who has
taken her place, who half I urn- her
shouldci upon older women, proving
by her attitude and manner the un-
speakable ennui that she is suffer-
ing, is, to say the least, a bit trying.
Striv< as one will to gain her in-
terest, one has the sensation of fail-
ing utterly. She manages lo convey
without, the slightest insolence, ex-
cept <>f manner, that one is not
worth considering. Scramble around
in the mind for a little tennis and
golf knowledge that is possessed,
drag it forth for her edification, and
one is met by a bored stare and ab-
solute unresponsiveness.- Kxehangu.
IN THE HOTEL OFFICE
BOMARTON NEWS
~^.i.- /(w&C?/
j' [rut. Cimx
L
- //it(ft'ft
First Guest—Young Bragg has
quit smoking. I I's a good thing.
Second Guest—It would be better
if he quit talking about the effort it
cost him to quit smoking.
0. J. Naylor Went to Seymour
Wednesday.
Jim Lee of Seymour visited
Bomarton Monday.
Mrs. Hargravewas in Seymour
Monday and Tuesday.
Mr. Casselberry of Levelview
visited here thin week.
vis-
\ve
THE NATURAL THING.
"How did they decorate the walls,
of that famous Russian ice palace?*' i
"I suppose with some sort of a
frieze."
WHEN PRICES WERE LOW.
Old records brought to light in
Linn county, Kan., give some inter-
esting figures of many years ago.
Cows were quoted in 1837 at $7 to
$1Q; horses, $25 to $40; hogs, a head,
$1.25 to $1.50; a nice veal calf Bold
for 75 cents; eggs, 3 cents a dozen,
and deer Hams, 25 cents each. One
could get a man to work from sunup
till dark from 10 to 15 cents a day,
nnd he accepted pay in pelti^ hides,
twists of tobacco, wild honey or yarn
mitts.
AS A WOMAN DRESSES.
"Woman's power of resistance is
much stronger than that of a man."
"I have always thought it was the
other way."
"No, sir. Suppose that the weath-
er is very cold—that the mercury is
away down near zero. A man puts
on a pair of stockings that are as
thin as the gauze which appears on
the grass on a dewy morning. Then
he sticks his feet into a pair of shoes
that barely cover the soles of his
feet, leaving his insteps and ankles
exposed. Let us suppose that his
trousers are so short that they reach
only a little more than half way
j from his knees to his ankles. Do you
imagine that a big, warm muff into
j which he may thrust his hands will
i -ave him from pneumonia or enable
j iiirn to be perfectly comfortable?
CL08E CALCULATION.
"It seems to rne," said a custime?
to his barber, "that you ought to
lower your price for a shave in these
hard times."
The barber shook his head sadly
and said:
"Can't be done. Nowadays every-
liody wears such a long face that we
have a great deal more surface to
sbuvo over!"—Life.
Marvin Jones of Seymour
ited Bomarton last week.
Farmers are happy again
have had such a good rain.
I. J. Barks gave the young peo-
ple a singing Sunday night.
Bert King visited his sister,
Mrs. Tom Chambless, Sunday.
<T. Field went to Seymour i
Monday and also Wednesday.
K. Frazier is at Seymour at- ■
! tending Commissioners Court.
W. M. Bell and .lack Cliam-I
bers went to Seymour Friday.
•liin Stovall of Bardwell, Fllis
county, is a new Banner reader.
J. M. Loe, T. L. Mitchell and
Mr. McElwain went to Seymour
Thursday.
Burnett Jones and Fred Tru-
man went to Lively to an all day
singing Sunday.
Dr. Batchler's mother from
Arizona and sister from I'alias
visited him last week.
Mr. and Mrs. McGlothlin and
Mr. and Mrs. Guy Hargrave
went to Seymour Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. Jas. Price came
out Saturday evening, bringing
back little Mina Lou McLarty.
Dr. fiaines, B. B. Calfee, Prof.
Nathan Johnson and Thomas
Richeson went to Seymour Sat-
urday.
The Bomarton Singing Class
has re-organized and invites all
classes near by to meet them at
3 p. m. next Sunday and help
them sing.
John Marak and two sons,
John and August Marak, went
to Wichita Monday with Mrs.
Marak for a serious operation.
A growth had set up on her
head. August returned Tuesday
and says he thinks the operation
will be successful.
Rev. J. F. Jones of Shady
died Tuesday, Feb. 13. Brother
Jones has suffered for a long
time. His sufferings were great.
He has served many years in the
ministry and was ready and wil-
ling to go. To his loved and be-
reaved ones we extend our heart-
felt sympathy. While he was
unknown to the writer, yet his,
clean life and good works are1
known. He will be missed inj
his community and surrounding)
country where he has lived so
long. Weep not, kind friends;
his soul rests with God.
FJmpr Truman spent SatUttlMy
and Sunday with home folk*.
Ilr. Hall's father and mother
and a family bv fhe name of
Johnson of Oklahoma arrived
here last week and will farm one
of Mr. Worley's places (bis year.
We welcome them. We are glad
to have good citizens move into
our midst.
TOO STUPID
;;
V
Fred I understand that joo
called on Miss Street again la«t
night.
(inorgo Yes. We had quite n jol-
ly time. As we sal alone in front of
the open fire she brought me soma
popcorn and a f»opper.
Fred Ibd you lake the hint?
George - Oh yes. I pop|>ed tha
corn.
the broken heart.
"The parly will recover from this
check," said .Mayor I'raig of Coving-
ton, apropos of a temjporiiry setback.
"They say the party will Ik- broken.
I'd reply thai it will l>c about ha
much broken as voting Larising'»
hea rt.
"A chorus girl who had refused
young Lansing said to a friend:
"'I have broken bis heart, I fear '
" 'You have. You certainly have/
the friend replied. 'You've broken
it right in half.'
"'In half? What do you mean?'
"M mean that he takes two girls
out to supper every night, now,' "
FISH INTOXICATED.
The fish m the Kiver I'ill at Dor-
lar, Kngland, have recently been be-
having in a very curious fashion.
Some of them were swimming back-
wards, others sideways, and others
up and down all in «uch different
ways as to suggest they were drunk.
Investigations showed that they
were, as a rnatl* r of fact, badly in-
toxicated. The explanation is that
the alcohol from an adjoining yeast
factory had been thrown into tho
river, and in such great qnantitiea
as to have a demoralizing effect on
the river's inhabitants.
W. L. GAINES, M. D.
General Practitioner
Local Surgeon W. V. Ity. Co.
Leave, calls at Sejrdler's I»iug Store
BOMAUTON TKXAS
0
1
0
0
*
O
REASONS
1. Depositing money in a Bank makes it absolutely
safe from loss by Robbery, Fire or Accident.
2. With a Bank Account you can pay your bills by
Check. The cancelled Check is a legal receipt
for payment and you cannot be made to pay the
bill twice.
ONLY CHANCE.
DELIVERED THE GOODS.
"That rich heiress married her
aristocratic husband for his family."
"Well, she's got 'em all to support,
all right .... i
MATTER OF POLICY.
"There's only one thing I ever do
for policy's sake."
"What's that?"
Tij my premiums."—Smart S«t.
MISTAKE, SOMEHOW.
"Well, well," exclaimed Nagget,
over his paper, "that's a queer head-
ing for this article. It says 'Wom-
an's Talk."'
"What's so queer about that?' de-
manded his wife.
"Why's there's only half a column
of it"—Tit-BiU.
Maud—.Jack vows he'll marry you
yet.
Ethel—Maybe—if he goes in for
the ministry.
HIS ONLY REASON.
attorney—Why do you wish a di-
vorce from your wife?
Mr. Sagg -Uh kuzo I'm mar\l
to her, o' cou'ac, suh!—Judge.
Nearly every man needs to borrow Money some-
times. If you are well known at the Bank
through your Bank Account it is easy for you to
get accommodations.
The bright standard which this Bank has set for itself
in the conduct of its business is a protection to its De-
positors in every emergency and under all circum-
stances. It insures them against reckless speculation
and the get-rich-quick fever, and it is a guarantee that
whatever the profits may be they have been earned by
f V prudent, conservative business management in which
v there is not a single element of danger. We like to
have prospective patrons examine us regarding these
claims to strength and stability.
The Deposits of this Bank ARE protected by the State
GUARANTY Fund.
FIRST STATE BANK
BOMARTON, TEXAS
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Harrison, O. C. The Baylor County Banner. (Seymour, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 20, Ed. 1 Friday, February 16, 1912, newspaper, February 16, 1912; Seymour, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth429467/m1/7/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Baylor County Free Library.