Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 6, No. 39, Ed. 1 Friday, January 26, 1990 Page: 17 of 28
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think of anything bad to say about [Watson ]
As for the response of the officers to a woman
police chief, Clark said, “The police officers
from time to time have their surges of
machoism. I'm guilty of it, too. But they will
fall in line. This is 1990, not I960."
GLPCI sets Casino
fundraising event
GROUP SEEKS OTHER GAY, LESBIAN PARENTS
By DENNIS VERCHER
lyro one ever said raising children was an
1. tI easy task. For mom and dad, the arrival
of a bundle of joy signals an almost over-
whelming commitment and the potential for
almost daily problems. That situation be
comes magnified when it's not mom and dad,
but dad and dad — or mom and mom.
Gay or lesbian couples raising children
“can’t get support from the traditional
places,” states Bob Ball, a gay parent living in
Arlington with his lover of lOyears. “You can’t
get support from your parents. You can’t get
support from your pastor, unless you happen
to belong to an MCC. And you can’t even get
support from the library, because there are no
books dealing with our particular issues.”
No books, maybe, but there is a group of
gay and lesbian parents who have banded
together for sharing and support. Called Gay
and Lesbian Parents’ Coalition International,
the Dallas area boasts a strong local chapter
which will host a special fundraiser begin-
ning at 6 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 28, at John L’s,
2525 Wycliff Ave., Suite 120. The evening will
benefit the parents’ group and Bryan’s House,
a local facility for chilren affected by the HIV
epidemic.
The money raised for GIPCI will help the
Metroplex group host a conference in Dallas
in late March. At the same time, two rep
resentatives from the group say they hope the
activity may draw the attention of other gay
and lesbian parents who may need the
group’s support.
“You can’t get support from something that
you’ve not experienced yourself,” notes Jana
Edwards, another GLPCI member who invites
other gay and lesbian parents to get involved
with the group.
“There are just so many issues that come
up,” Ball agrees. “Dealing with the PTA,
dealing with ex spouses, dealing with other
family members. These are the kind of issues
thfit heterosexual parents never have to worry
about.”
Ball’s wife died 16 years ago, and he was
left a single parent of three children. After six
years, he met his current lover, Michael.
His daughter married in December, he
explains. “Now where do I go in Emily Post to
find out how to do that wedding?” he muses.
“The wedding begins with the seating of the
bride’s mother — but Michael is the‘mother’
of my children.
“So there are daily situations that come up
in parenting children — whether they’re 2
years old, lOyears old or adolescents ^there
are situations where you cannot go and get
information,” he points out. “Our group is a
source of that information.” He believes the
most valuable source of education for gay or
lesbian parents is "to be exposed to people
who have been through it."
Edwards, who has one son, agreed, “I went
through a pretty severe break-up and I
needed support,” she reveals. “Almost every-
one there [at GLPCI] had been through a
break up, and they were there for me.”
The two also advance a concept most
conventional parents would consider radical.
“1 think we’re more aware of our childrens’
emotional needs because we've had to be so
introspective with ourselves because of the
coming out process,” Ball states. "We’ve had
to do so much internalization [that] we are
better able to associate with our children on a
more sensitive emotional level.”
How does that express itself? “I har e dealt
very' directly with my children’s sexuality
from the time they were very young, and I let
them know that however they wanted to
express themselves on an intimate level is
okay" within bounds of consensuality, Ball
says. “For example, I told them that mastur-
bation was a natural, normal thing. I’ve
provided all my children with condoms and I
made sure my female child was provided
with birth control pills at a fairly early age. Sex
has always been very open in our house —
not visually, of course, but it was never
treated as a taboo subject or a subject that
nice’ people avoid."
Although Ball admits his children probably
experienced their sexuality at an earlier age
than most of their peers — “1 think my
children needed to prove to themselves that
they were not gay just because their parents
are,” he says — he also believes they are
better able to handle the sometimes weighty
emotional and ethical issues that sexuality
evokes.
Edwards makes an interesting connection.
"With myself and with other gay parents,
especially those of those that have custody of
our kids, their friends want to spend more
time with us. Lots of my kid’s friends have said
to me, ‘Why can’t my mom be like you?’ ”
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THE DALLAS VOICE/JANUARY 26. 1990
17
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Vercher, Dennis. Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 6, No. 39, Ed. 1 Friday, January 26, 1990, newspaper, January 26, 1990; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth615716/m1/17/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.