Honey Grove Signal. (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 44, Ed. 1 Friday, December 6, 1907 Page: 4 of 4
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Home
Treat-
ment
JJ-5
You naturally would prefer to treat yourself at home, for any form of female
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be able to relieve or cure your suffering, as thousands of other women have
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your advice, I gave her the Cardui Home Treatment, and now she hardly suffers at all.” Sold by druggists.
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Address. Ladies Advisory Dept., The Chattanooga Medicine Co., Chattanooga, Tenn.
Milking Experience
By Joe Sappington.
Some of the hardest things I
ever tried to do looked dead easy
before I tackled them. Now what
looks easier than milking a cow?
When I was a small boy I used
to beg my people to allow me to
milk, but my wishes were never
granted—they claimed that I was
too nervous, so I never had an
opportunity to sit right down by
the warm side of a female bovine
and squeeze milk out of her until
I was a man with a family of my
own.
The cow I tried to milk was a
tall, haughty one-eyed cow, in
the prime of life, with a bob-tail.
I gave a fellow thirteen good and
lawful plunks of the realm for
the cow, and he swore to me that
she was nine-tenths Jersey, gen-
tle as a lamb and so easy to milk
that a child could milk her. He
brought the cow over to my house
about 11 o’clock in the forenoon
and I was so anxious to begin
milking that I could hardly wait
until night. My wife insisted on
milking the cow herself, claiming
that I was too impatient and ner-
vous to milk; but I told her with
rising indignation that I had
bought the cow with my own
hard-earned money, and for her
to keep her hands off of my cow.
1 told her in a stern manner that
I cared nothing for the milk and
that she and the children were
welcome to it, but that I propos-
ed to do all the milking myself.
Just awhile before sundown I
went forth with a light heart and
a three-gallon bucket to milk my
first cow. When I started to the
cow pen my wife called to the
children to come and see their
papa milk. I knew that she was
suasJsieg sarcastically and paid
rtiOTi to her, but went
right into the lot wheje the cow
was and began to say “saw” to
her.
Unfortunately for the cow and
myself she was blind in the right
eye, and would not let me ap-
proach her blind or milking side,
but kept her good optic turned
on me no matter how much I
“sawed” to her or how cautious-
ly I approached her. I tried ev-
ery way on earth for at least fif-
teen minutes to reach her milk
apparatus from the proper side,
but she turned on her axis like a
pivot and kept that big sound
eye focused on me. I could very
plainly hear the taunting re-
marks and loud laughing of my
family while I was trying to reach
the proper milking angle of that
bob-tailed, one-eyed cow, and
was so mad I was almost dead. I
finally tried to run around her
ran in a circle for at least five
minutes and got so drunk from
going around and around, that I
fell on my head; but when I got
up there she stood with her sound
eye on me.
I was now desperate and was
determined to milk the cow, even
if I had to throw her down and
hog tie her to do so. My family
had been augmented by some of
our neighbors, and when I be-
gan running around the cow I
could hear them laughing and
when I fell with a crash on top
of the bucket from running in a
circle, they fairly screamed, and
to add to my embarassment my
wife called out to me, “Say, Joe
please do that again; one of our
neighbors has just come and she
didn’t get to see your circus
act.”
Since I could’nt approach the
cow from the right side, I decided
that I would milk her from the
left side, and just then I remem-
bered that I was a left-handed
man by nature, and that I had
been a fool for trying to milk the
cow from the right side anyway.
I now picked up the bucket and
boldly approached her from the
left side, and after saying “saw”
to her in a soothing tone of voice
five or six times, I began pulling
one of her milk handles. When I
Degan operations she seemed just
little frightened and began
bowing her back. She kept on
humping up her back, until I fi-
nally .had to stand up to milk, but
when she raised her back to the
ast notch, she began to squat,
and I had to sit flat down on the
ground in order to keep my hold
on her.
When I began milking my wife
and the neighbors came out to
the fence so they could have a
I am prepared to do all
kinds of
Practical
Modern Dentistry
Office Upstairs Pierce-Wood
Building, West Side of Square
better view of the performance,
and when the cow began to hump
her back, they fell over each
other laughing, and when she
began to squat they went into
hysterics and screamed like mad
women. But theirmirth was short
lived, as an awful tragedy like
to have been enacted before their
eyes. When the cow had squat-
ted as low as a cow could squat
she did one of the very strangest
things ever recorded of a cow be-
fore or since; she reared upon
her front legs and kicked me with
both hind feet at the same time.
Just how she did it will in all
probability never be known, but
in making that “double header”
kick she got her left hoof hung in
the hip pocket of my overalls and
proceeded to drag and kick me
all over the lot. She finally kick-
ed me through an eight barbed
wire hog-proof fence, but her
foot was still hung in my hip
pocket and pull as hard as she
could she could not extract it.
My wife and the other ladies, who
were being so highly entertained
a few moments before, were now
screaming and calling out for
help at every breath. Just how
long I was in the deadly embrace
of that cow it is hard to tell, but
after she kicked me through the
fence, I had the presence of mind
to see that by her struggles to
get her foot out of my pocket
that something was going to give
way, so I called to my wife to
take the ladies away at once,
had given the warning none too
soon, for by the time they had
gotten half way to the house my
overails were jerked off in short
order.
I was gently borne to the house
by tender, loving hands, and a
doctor was hastily summoned
To the great joy of my wife and
friends the doctor said I would
live,as no bones were broken, but
he said that my nerves were so
badly shattered that I would have
to have perfect quiet for many
days.
For many years after I tried to
milk that cow my sleep was dis
turbed by a hideous dream that I
often had of a terrible, one-eyed
bob-tailed cow, that would appear
at my bedside and stare and wink
at me with that awful orb of hers
The fellow that sold me the
cow ought to have been prosecut-
ed for murder in the second de-
gree, for we afterwards found out
that that the low down cuss had
sold me a barren cow, that had
never been milked, nor never had
a calf.
BACK GIVES OUT.
Plenty of Honey Grove Readers Have
This Experience.
You tax the kidneys—overwork
them—
They can’t keep up the contin-
ual strain.
The back gives out—it aches
and pains;
Urinary troubles set in.
Don’t wait longer—take Doan’s
Kidney Pills.
J. W. Johnson, living on Rural
Free Delivery route 2, Honey
Grove, Tex., says: “Sometime
ago while at work a sharp pain or
stitch caught my back and al-
most took my breath away. This
occurred several times until
realized it was my kidneys that
were wrong. Hearing about
Doan’s Kidney Pills at Dailey &
Henderson’s drug store I got a
box. I had only taken a few
doses when I felt the pain leave
me and continuing their use have
had no return of the trouble,
have no hesitation in endorsing
Doan’s Kidney Pills as I believe
them to be thoroughly reliable.
For sale by all dealers. Price
50 cents. Foster-Milburn Com-
pany, Buffalo, New York, sole
agents for the United States.
Remember the name—Doan’s—
and take no other.
1 Planters National Bank, 1
i — 0—
Of Honey Grove, Texas.
CAPITAL $75,000. SURPLUS $60,000.
J. T. HOLT, President* j
|g PEYTON WHEELER, V. P., R. J. THOMAS, Cashier, |
II J. C. MoKINNEY, Aas’t. Cash. *
I —<>— s
We have ample means to treat you well as a customer andog
beg of you to give us a trial. ||
81D
(
h
THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF HONEY GROVE.
CAPITAL AND SURPLUS $275,000.00.
EXTENDS TO ITS DEPOSITORS AND
CUSTOMERS EVERY FACILITY
THAT THEIR
BANKING RESPONSIBILITY WARRANTS^
f
The Best Yet.
We are now in position to offer
the Rural Route Daily edition of
the St. Louis Republic for one
year for $2.50. This offer is open
to all subscribers who have paid
for the Signal for one year in ad-
vance from date, and to new cash
subscribers. In other words, if
your subscription is paid one year
in advance give us $1.50 and we
order the Daily Republic for you.
Or if you are not a subscriber re-
mit $2.50 and we will have the
Daily Republic mailed to your
address for one year, and also
send the Signal as well.
THE RURAL ROUTE REPUBLIC.
What is it? It is the old relia-
ble St. Louis Reoublic with a new
daily issue. In fact the Regular
Edition (ten pages) exactly as it
appears in the Fast-Mail Edition,
only the details of sporting news
being omitted. The telegraphic,
market and financial pages com-
plete in every particular. There
is also miscellaneous reading in-
teresting to all the family. The
edition is delivered by mail only
daily except Sunday, 312 copies
a year, and is not sent to towns
where the Daily Republic is sold
by a news dealer.
No subscriptions are accepted
for a shorter term than one year.
Make all remittances to the Sig-
nal not to the Republic. Take
advantage of the offer to-day—it
can’t be beat anywhere.
The Signal and the Republic
both one year for only $2.50.
White Crest flour, the best in
town. Order a sack and we will
prove it to you.—J. B. McKee Co.
Wanted Safer Investment.
In the days “befo’ de wah,” a
handy negro named Jack was
saving money earned at odd
times with which to buy his free
dom. His master encouraged
him and saved his money for him
In time Jack had saved $900 and
only needed another hundred to
make him free. His master told
him that it wouldn’t be long now
until he could get that hundred.
Jack went out with enother slave
to celebrate some local festival.
Returning along the railroad track
they were frightened by an ap-
proaching train. Both got off the
track, but Jack’s companion fell
and, striking his head against a
rock, was killed. Jack hurried as
rapidly as he could to his master’s
house. It was a late hour, but
his master must hear him. He
said: “Gimme mah money,Mars
Henry, gimme mah money right
now.” The astonished master re-
monstrated: “But Jack.you need
only another hundred dollars to
make you free.”
“I know it, Mars Henry,I know
it, but niggers is too onsartin.
Bill jest killed hisself by bustin’
his head agin a rock, an’ I ain’t
gwine inves’ mah money in noth-
in’ as onsartin as niggers.”—Ex.
Not Necessary to Delay I
Will Continue Right
Through the Christ-
mas Holidays.
Owing to the large number of
students in attendance, many
coming from so great a distance
that they could not afford to go
home for the holidays, the Tyler
Commercial College of Tyler,Tex-
as, will continue right through
the holidays, with the exception
of Xmas Day, for those who do
not care to be absent on Xmas
week. This arrangement also
enables new students to enroll at
any day during December, take
up the work to the very best ad-
vantage, and continue without in-
tenuption during the holidays.
Any student who wants to
enter at once, but is hindered
from getting the ready cash,
owing to the temporary financial
flurry, may come right on to
school, bringing such money as
he has at his command, in the
form of money order or currency,
and make satisfactory arrange- '
ments for balance.
Holiday Rates
to
Old States
in
Southeast
are very low
this year.
Thru Sleepers
If you expect to make
a trip just call on any
Santa Fe agent. He
will quote you rates
and explain train ser-
vice. Or address
W. S. KEENAN,
G. P. A. Galveston.
Brannons Novelty House
For Jewelry, paints, wall paper,
books, tablets, pencils, etc. Guns,
ammunition, musical instru-
ments of all kinds, glass and
chinaware, oicture molding,Base
balls,bikes. General repair work,
repair watches, clocks, jewelry,
etc; make picture frames to or-
der. If you cannot come in order
anything you want.
................
We Guarantee to Please Customers]
INSTRUCTIVE, INTERESTING
“Correct English
How To Use It.”
Daily Paper for $1.50.
We will send you the St. Louis
Daily Republic and the Signal
one year for $2.50 provided pay-
ment is made in advance for
both. If your subscription to
the Signal is in arrears back dues ' A Monthly Magazine Devoted to the
and one year in advance must be 1786 of English>
paid. The Republic is issued six j Josephine Turek B^er,
days in the week and is the reg- !
1 j-i.- » . ° PARTIAL CONTENTS
ular edition of that paper with ' . _
the exception of the page deyoted j How to Increase One’s Vocabulary
to sporting news. j The Art of Conversation
M.VoH iin ! Shall and Will: Should and Would:
Badly Mixed Up. j How to use them
Abraham Brown, of Winterton, N. j Pronunciations (Century Dictionary)
Y., had a very remarkable experience; i EorrecJ Enghsjj m <?ie^I°me1
. \ , , f, . i Correct English in the School
he says: Doctors got badly mixed , What to Say and What not to Say
up over me; one said heart disease; Course in Letter Writing and Punct-
two called it kidney troublejthe fourth. I uation
Twenty Daily Drills
blood poison, and the fifth stomach
and liver trouble; but none of them
helped me; so my wife advised trying
Electric Bitters, which are restoring
me to perfect health. One bottle did
me more good than all the five doctors
prescribed.” Guaranteed for blood
poison, weakness and all stomach,
liver and kidney complaints, by Black
& Little, druggists, 50.
Don’t be Hopeless
about yourself when you’re crippled
with rheumatism or stiff joints—of
course you’ve tried lots of things and
they failed. Try Ballard’s Snow Lin-
iment—it will drive away all aches,
pains and stiffness and leave you as
well as you ever were. Sold by al 1
dealers.
THE NEW YORK WORLD
Business English for the Business Man
Compound Words: How to Write Them
Studies in English Literature
Agents Wanted
$1 a Year. Send 10c for Sample
Copy
Correct English, Evanston, 111.
It’s a Crime
to neglect your health. The worst
neglect that you can be guilty of is
to allow constipation, biliousness or
any liver or bowel trouble to continue.
It is poisoning your entire system and
may lead to a serious chronic disease.
Take Ballard’s Herbine and get abs©
lutely well. The sure cure for any
and all troubles of the stomach, liver
and bowels. Sold by all dealers.
For a Christmas present noth-
ingis nicerthan Dominocards; the
great combination game set,dom
ino shape, with card colors; play
cards, dominoes and new games
“Show Me” and “Big Stick.
Parents fascinated, children de-
lighted. Fifty-six parts in at
tractive box postpaid, 50c. Boys
and girls make Christmas money
as agents. Don’t delay. Write
to-day. Domincards Co., 1807
Chouteau St., St. Louis, Mo.
White Crest flour, the best in
town. Order a sack and we will
prove it to you.—J. B. McKee Co.
WHITE’S
Dream Vermifuge
THE GUARANTEED
WORM
REMEDY
THE CHILDREN’S FAVORITE TONIC.
BEWARE OF IMITATIONS.
THE GENUINE PREPARED ONLY BY i
Ballard-Snow Liniment Co*
ST, LOUIS, mo.
Sold and recommended by all dealers.
The Honey Grove Signal and the Daily Rural Route
Edition of the St. Louis Republic for only $2.50 - - - -
Thrice-A-Week Edition—Read Wher
ever the English Language
Is Spoken.
The Thrice-a-Week World expects to
be better paper in 1907 than ever be-
fore. In the course of the year the
issues for the next great presidential
campaign will be foreshadowed, and
everybody will wish to keep informed.
The Thrice-aWeek World, coming to
you every other day, serves all the
purposes of a daily and is far cheaper.
The news service of this paper is con-
stantly being increased, and it reports
fully accurately and promptly every
event of importance anywhere in the
world. Moreover, its political news is
impartial, giving you facts, not opin-
ions and wishes. It has full markets,
splendid cartoons and interesting fic-
tion by standard authors.
The Thrice-a-Week World’s regular
subscription price only $1.00 per year,
and this pays for 156 papers. We offer
this unequalled newspaper and the
Honey Grove Signal together for one
year for $1.65. The regular subscrip-
tion price of the two papers is $2.00.
Dr. J. Howard Nesbit
Special Attention Paid to Disees- J
es of the Ear, Nose and Throat.
Office First Nat’l Bank Building,
Down Stairs.
PRINTING
This is our business, and we
study it in order that we
may please our Patrons.
There fire Jfa/ Things
Tl|at We Do flint
DR, H. D. BOYD
At Residence of the late Joe
Smith, W. Main.
General Practice all lines Surgery
CEO. W. WILSON.
VETERINARY SURGEON,
Office at Bryan’s Livery Stable, Phone
39—3. Calls answered day and night.
Special attention given to horse den-
tistry.
Dr. A. T Reed,
Physician and Surgeon
Office over First National Bank
Phone in Offiice and Residence
RURAL TELE-
PHONE SERVICE
In connection with the system of
THE SOUTHWESTERN COMPANY
will increase the producing power of
any farm. You are placed in closs
touch with the markets nearby and re-
mote. If in some distant town—
matter where—you can talk back
home. No other system so far reach-
ing. Rates lower after 6 p. m.
THE SOUTHWESTERN TELE-
GRAPH AND TELEPHONE CO
W. O. W. Camp No. 44
Regular meetings first and third Tues-
day nights of each month. Second |
story Underwood building. All Sov-
ereigns invited.
Geo. A. Dailey, C. C.,
J. B. Stephens, Clerk.
Strings.
Just received a large shipment
of viohn, mandolin, banjo and
guitar strings at H. W. Brown’s.
There Are feW Tlriitfs
W? Do Not friijt.’
Note Heads
Bill Heads
Letter Heads
Statements
Invitations
Programs
Pamphlets
Cards, Tickets
Envelopes
Cures Tetter,
Eczema, Iteh (all
kinds) Dew Poison,
Pimples, Ring,
worm, Skin ■
Eruptions, Chap-
ped Faces and
Hands, Sore,
Sweatty, Swollen,
Blistered Feet.
Cotton Pickers
Pick 14
More
Cotton by
Using It.
SOLD AND GUARANTEED BY
DAILEY & HENDERSON
DON! SCRATCH
IfOOPERMtTTER
JRE.
CURES
1LSKIN
AND
'FOOT AND
SCALP
troubles
death to
red bug
SUREGURE
Sdrutf
These are only a
Few of the Things
We Print.
Whatever you may need send
your order to
THE SIGNAL,
Honey Grove, Tex.
OLIVER
Complaint
' BILIOUSNESS,
dyspepsia.
[[REMITTENT BtUOUS FEVERS
Q)N5TIj>ATI0N
|50?|
& ST LOUIS. M?
G> (S> CSD (S3 O co
mm
Sold and Recommended by
ALL DEALERS.
A Complete Line of
Undertaking Goods.
Always kept in stock, from the cheapest
coffin to a high grade casket. Your
patronage Solicited.
SMITH-POOLE CO
Signal and Dallas News 1.75
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Lowry, J. H. Honey Grove Signal. (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 44, Ed. 1 Friday, December 6, 1907, newspaper, December 6, 1907; Honey Grove, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth621577/m1/4/: accessed July 6, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Honey Grove Preservation League.