Honey Grove Signal (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 32, No. 47, Ed. 1 Friday, December 22, 1922 Page: 14 of 20
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5*
&
EARL P. PRICE LIFE'AGENCY
Southland Life Insurance Co.
1 DALLAS, TEXAS.
Honey Grove Office East Side Square
Upstairs—-Bershansky Building
■
JONES & tUMIT
FURNITURE AND UNDERTAKING.
Complete line of all Furniture and Furnishings for
every home.
Jones & Brumit
South Side of Square Honey Grove, Texas
PAPERHANGERS OF HIGH RANK
ASPIRIN
Say “Bayer” and Insist!
Unless you see the name “Bayer” on
package or tablets you are not get-
ting the genuine Bayer product pre-
scribed by physicians over twenty-two
years' and proved safe by millions for
Colds Headache
Toothache Lumbago
Earache Rheumatism
Neuralgia Pain, Pain
Accept “Bayer Tablets of Aspirin”
only. Each unbroken package con-
tains proper directions. Handy boxes
of twelve tablets cost few cents.
Druggists also sell bottles of 24 and
100. Aspirin is the trade mark of
Bayer Manufacture of Monoacetic-
acidester of Salicylicacid.
Limit of Endurance.
The burglar climbed through
the open window, entered the
drawing room, and hid behind a
curtain.
Hardly had he concealed him-
self before the youngest daugh-
ter of the house had a piano les-
son. An hour later—at 6 o’clock,
to be precise—her little brother
No Time for Conventionalities.
. i , ...... Cashier — Madam, you will
had a long and spirited tussle have to get somebody to intro-
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ♦> ❖ ♦♦♦ *
* WITH THE JOKESMITH *
❖ - ❖
* Made, Borrowed and Stolen ❖
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ +*<■ ❖ ❖ ♦♦♦ ♦> $
Prompt Business.
They had had chicken for din-
ner in a restaurant.
“You see,” he explained, as he
showed her the wishbone, “you
take hold here. Then we both
make a wish and pull, and when
it breaks the one who has the
biggest part of it will have his or
her wish granted.”
“But I don’t know what to
wish for,” she protested.
“Oh, you can think of some-
thing,” he said.
“No, I can’t,” she replied. “I
can’t think of anything I want
very much.”
“Well, I will wish for you,” he
exclaimed.
“Will you really,” she asked.
“Yes, indeed,” he replied.
“Well, there is no use fooling
with the old wishbone,” she re-
turned with a glad smile. “You
can have me.”
Aisle to Yer Right, Please.
“Is this a second hand store ?”
“Yessir, what can we do for
you ?”
“Well,-1 want one for my
watch.”
Decidedly Not.
Mr. Howell—Health is better
than wealth.
Mrs. Powell—Not for your
prospective heirs.
How the Father of His Country and
Lafayette Saved the Situation
for Mrs. Washington.
Father and mother, with the vis-
itor and the children, do not now
understand how to hang wallpaper as
in the old days. But take a quota-
tion from Miss Sanborn’s book,
where she tells the story of the
hanging of the wallpaper at Mount
Vernon in the following words:
“The paperhanger was not so much
a necessity in the old days as now.
The family often joined in the task
of making the paste, cutting the
paper and placing it on the walls.
This was not beneath the dignity of
George Washington, who with the
assistance of Lafayette, hung on the
walls of Mount Vernon paper which
he had purchased abroad.”
The story goes that the good
Martha lamented in the presence of
Lafayette that she would be unable
to get the paper hung in the ban-
quet room in time for the morrow’s
ball inP honor of the young mar-
quis. There were no men to be
found for such work.
Lafayette at once pointed out to
Mistress Washington that she had
three able-bodied men at her serv-
ice. General Washington, Lafay-
ette himself and his aide-de-camp.
Whereupon the company fell mer-
rily to work and the paper was hung
in time for the ball.—Rehoboth Sun-
day Herald.
USELESS MODERATION.
HASTENED TO MAKE AMENDS
Female Visitor Mistaken in Saying
New Orleans Men Were Lack-
i ing in Politeness.
Miss Mildred Melville Mallison,
the anti-vice worker, said in an ad-
dress in Pittsburgh:
“The freedom now granted to
woman is a gain, but it is also a
loss.
“In one of my recent anti-vice
campaigns I put up at a New Or-
leans hotel. Entering the breakfast
room one morning, I found three
fat men established there, each with
a newspaper and a black cigar. Of
course the room was full of smoke.
“While waiting for my breakfast,
I coughed several times, but nobody
took the hint, so I said as if to my-
self:
“ Tim. I always understood that
New Orleans men were models of
with a shrilly protesting violin.
At 7 o’clock the elder girl had
^hour’s singing lesson, and at
ev*Iock the leder boy began
icing painstakingly, but
^indifferent success, a par-
tly maddening little trill on
Ante.
Jt 9 o’clock they all assembled
*llc> flayed and sang in what they
fondly but erroneously imagined
to be harmony.
It was then that the burglar
'’lifted forth, threw himself
^strate on the floor and begged
^rested and lodged in a
ifety.
duce you before I can cash this
check for you.
Madam—“Sir,” she answered
haughtily, “I am here on busi-
ness, and not making a social
call. I do not care to know you.”
His Choice.
“I’m going into politics when I
grow up,” declared Bobby.
“I thought you were goin’ to
be an engineer and drive an en-
gine,” said Billy.
“Aw, I’ve changed my mind
about that. Pop has had a lot
of men around the house talking
politics lately, and they’re always
, . . talking about parties and candy-
adiator repairing dates, and that’s what I like!”
op. South Sixth _
Signal $1.50 a year in advance.
m
“0«r nKiy Medicine”
more than 18 years,” says a letter
from tfr. S..F. Mintz, of R. F. D. 2,
Leland,N.C. “1 keep it in my
hop>* 4/! the time, for it is mostly
om lamily medicine. When we
begin to feel feverish cr sluggish,
with trouble from tlr liver or
stomach, we take a dose of
ThedfordS Black-Driight and the
trouble is toon ovetq I mostly buy
a dollar package aif time, and it
has saved me many* bill.”
Tfopdford’s BlaclDraught is a
roots, and contains no calomel or
other mineral drugs.
It has been found of great valyjp,
in indigestion, stomach tfOtible,
sick headache, constipation, and
lazy liver, helping to relieve the
symptoms caused by these
troubles, and to put the digestive
system into proper working order.
Get a package of Black-Draught
liver medicine from your druggist
or dealer, today. Be sure to get
the genuine—Thedford’s.
Thedford’s
HOIK-DRAUGHT
A Purdy Vegetable Liver Medicine
I 89
JN
ing and scraping like so many
monkeys.
“‘Pardon me, madam/ they said
in chorus, and each opened and ex-
tended to me courteously a cigar
case full of black cigars.”
HE KNEW BETTER
A titled English woman, who
lives in a block of flats, wanted a
day without visitors. She went
down in the elevator and told both
the porter and the microscopic ele-
vator boy that she was “not at
home.”
In spite of her instructions, dur-
ing the afternoon the elevator boy
took up some visitors, who caught
her, when the maid opened the door,
helping to clean the hall. Trouble
ensued for both the porter and the
boy.
“Young Varmint that you are,”
said the porter to his subordinate,
bakin’ visitors up an’ them catchin’
’er ladyship, when you ’eard ’er say
she wasn’t at ’ome.”
“Yes,” said the unrepentant ele-
vator boy, “hut what ’er ladyship
says an’ what I knows is two differ-
ent things.”—Pittsburgh Chronicle-
Telegraph.
PAPA'S ENTRANCE
Mother was entertaining a few
friends, and young hopeful was be-
ing duly shown off, and resented it,
fes all young hopefuls do.
“Who do you like Sest?” asked
one friend.
“Mother,” was the reply.
“Who-next?” asked another.
“Little sister.”
“Wrho next?”
“Aunt.”
Father, who was seated at the
back, opened his mouth and said:
“And when do I come in ?”
“At two o’clock in the morning!”
was the reply.
WISCONSIN'S PEAT BOGS
An examination of the peat bogs
of Wisconsin has recently been made
by engineers of the bureau of mines
with the object of discovering their
relation to coal formation.
_ (“A. steer,” says a professor of
dietetics, “has more judgment about
eating than the average college boy.”)
The steer’s an abstemious creature;
On corn and on bunch grass he feeds,
But he always takes care, as he
munches his fare,
That he never eats more than he
needs.
He masticates all of the victuals
That he crops from the moorland
and fen,
Then at night in his stall, this food
he’ll recall
And chew it all over again.
The steer never suffers from colic,
And never is robbed of his rest
By internal aches because he partakes
Of a diet he cannot digest.
No doctors, with hands on his pulses,
Declare he is mortally sick,
And say, with an air of foreboding
despair,
That they had better operate, quick!
The steer, though he often is tempted
By the flowers that bloom by the
way,
And the toadstools that cling to the
rocks in the spring,
Exclusively sticks to his hay.
And, doubtless, he tells himself often:
“If my hunger I only assuage
On the simplest of food, which is
properly chewed,
I shall live to a very old age.”
But as soon as he passes his childhood
And reaches a salable weight,
His dreams disappear, for he ends his
career
Inside of the packing house gate.
And all of his temperate habits,
And all of his freedom from aches
Don’t help him at all when he’s hung
on a wall
As the makings of porterhouse
steaks!
—James J. Montague.
Utilitarian Use of Radiograms.
The rapidly growing popular
use of the radio is so general as
to obscure somewhat at least, its
use from the industrial, commer-
cial and economic viewpoints. It
is, therefore, opportune to con-
sider the use of it being made by
the United States Department of
Agriculture. A radiogram has
been received from the Depart-
ment’s representative in Berlin
regarding beet sugar production
in Germany this year, this mes-
sage arriving just the other day,
traveling 186,000 miles per sec-
ond, requiring pretty much the
same time it takes to say “Jack
Robinson.” Within five minutes
after the message was filed in
Berlin the news was all over the
United States.
“Radio is revolutionizing the
dispatch of crop news,” so says
Dr. Henry C. Taylor, Chief of the
United States Bureau of Agricul-
tural Economics, in commenting
upon the new service. “In these
times of rapidly changing eco-
nomic conditions instantaneous
advices of agricultural conditions
York’s Garage
WELL CARS TAKEN CARE OF;
SICK CARS DOCTORED
We do battery work of every kind. Have new
batteries in stock for all kinds of cars. Also
repair and recharge old batteries.
The best Oil and Gas, Tires and Tubes and
all automobile accessories.
Expert mechanics to look after your car
troubles. Good room for storage.
H. L. YORK
PROPRIETOR
J ASTING prosperity and sale oanking
“ grow in the same soil. The liberal
policy of The Planters National Bank for
fair dealing and home development has
raised a big crop of local prosperity. Our
depositors and friends know and appreciate
this. Join your friends in giying them
your business.
R. J. Thomas, President
J. C. McKinney, Cashier
French politeness.’
“The three fat men were on their__t ^ ^
feet in an instant, smiling and bow- throughout the world are vitally
necessary in the protection and
advancement of American agri-
culture. We want to know what
crop conditions are at present.
Radio makes this possible.”
A part of the regular service
now is the dispatch by radio to
the International Institute of
Agriculture at Rome of a weekly
report on the condition of the
cotton crops and wheat seeding
in the United States. The mes
sages are sent from radio sta-
tions of the Navy Department.
Harness repairing, also auto
top work done on short notice at
W. T. Clark’s Harness Shop.
F. E. Wood, Asst. Cashier
■
The Viewpoint is the Thing.
“Now, Albert, you may say
anfthing about me that you wish
—except that I’m extravagant.
This is the twelfth hat I’m using
this hatpin with!”
Mules For Sale.
Have a large number of mules
for sale very cheap. If you are
in the market for a mule you will
save money by seeing T. M.
West, Windom, Texas. tf
Signal $1.50 a year in advance.
St. Marks Church Episcopal.
Sunday school at 10 a. m.
Guild Monday at 3 p. m.
Evening service at 7 o’clock.
Christmas boxes for sale, sev-
eral sizes, suitable for doing up
Christmas presents. See Wil-
kins, Wood & Patteson.
To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE (Tablets.) It
stops the Cough and Headache land works off the
Cold. E. W. GROVE’S signature on each box. 30c.
Hall’s Catarrh Medicine
Those who are in a "run down” condi-
tion will notice that Catarrh bothers them
much more than when they are in good
health. This fact proves that while Ca-
tarrh is a local disease, it is greatly in-
fluenced by constitutional conditions.
HALL’S CATARRH MEDICINE is a
Tonic and acts through the blood upon
the mucous surfaces of the body, thus
reducing the inflammation and assisting
Nature in restoring normal conditions.
All Druggists. Circulars free.
P. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.
Our facilities for handling your business
are the best. We will extend accommoda-
tions to customers based on the responsibil-
ity and deposits given us. We invite your
account whether large or small.
State National Bank
Of Honey Grove
EXCHANGE
PRICE
TWO TONS HULLS
EIGHT SACKS MEAL FOB
ONE TON SEED
Honey Grove Cotton Oil Co
•-
u r
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Lowry, J. H. Honey Grove Signal (Honey Grove, Tex.), Vol. 32, No. 47, Ed. 1 Friday, December 22, 1922, newspaper, December 22, 1922; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth637659/m1/14/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Honey Grove Preservation League.