Illustrated Paperboy (Cleveland, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 22, Ed. 1 Wednesday, August 27, 1997 Page: 7 of 12
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Repo Selection
Luis G. Schaeffer, M.D.
Board Certified ♦ Specialist . t.n.n MedmdCare
\
Hypertension, Heart
Diseases, Diabetes,
Arthritis, Obesity,
Thyroides, Asthma,
Bronchitis and
Emphysema,
Stomach and
Liver Diseases,
Urinary and Kidney
Diseases
Medicine of the elderly
\*>C—-
403 E. Dallas ♦ Cleveland, Texas
(281) 593-0485
_ Se Habla Espanol
---o<)o-
ILLUSTRATED PAPERBOY. Wednesday. August 27, 1997, Page IB
i
Around Town - Cleveland on the Grow
Humor is part of life
and real life humor is some-
times funnier than made up
humor. Thus, the topic of this
column.
1 will be relating some
funny stories that I have heard.
No names will be used for the
safety of the writer.
1 recall this story from
many years ago. A police offi-
cer in an East Texas town
stopped a speeding car one
night. As he was writing out
the ticket, he asked the driver:
"Where are you from?" The
driver replied "Chicago." The
officer then asked. "If you are
from Chicago, then why do
you have Illinois license plates
on your car?"
Then there's a story
about a young woman who
looked into the mirror to see
what she looked like with a
sleep mask on over her eyes.
Or how about the young
bride who saw a small fire in
the center of the gas cook stove.
Thinking something was wrong
with the stove, she blew out the
pilot light. Image her husband's
dilemma when he tried to fry
some eggs for breakfast and
the stove wouldn't light.
Another great story
about a young lady who for the
first time saw some yellow
crookneck squash, wanted to
know "Where did you get lem-
ons with handles?"
And then there was the
young lady who decided she
didn't want to ever have chil-
dren so she asked about a va-
sectomy.
I knew an East Texas
judge many years ago that was
quite a character. Late in his
life, he became ill and had to be
hospitalized. He lay in a bed a
few days and decided he would
like to have his favorite barber
come to the room and give him
a shave.
The barber arrived and
as he was giving the judge a
shave, the old judge remarked:
"Bob, I've said a lot of bad things
about you in my lifetime. I'm
real sick and I might die. And
Bob, if I die, I want you to
forgive me." The old judge
paused a little and then added:
"But Bob, if I live, everything
I've said about you still goes."
Years ago, it was legal
to hunt deer using dogs. This
was a big sport in East Texas. A
story was told to me about an
old East Texas deer hunter that
liked to ride his horse behind
the hounds. When the dogs
would jump up a deer, he liked
to shoot at the deer from horse-
back.
The story goes that an-
other fellow hunting with him
for the first time on horse de-
cided he would like to try shoot-
ing a deer from horseback. Sure
enough, they jumped up a deer.
They reined up their horses and
the newcomer brought his 12
gauge shotgun to his shoulder,
took aim and fired. Just as he
did, the horse reared his head
and then fell dead with a gun-
shot to the head.
The rider, pinned to the
ground under the horse, looked
up and said, "I think I did
something wrong."
Another story 1 heard
recently about a local man who
many years ago was working
in his garden when a neighbor
boy came by and stopped,
watching the work. "Mister,
what are those red things?"
The boy asked. The man
stopped hoeing the weeds long
enough to tell the boy they
were tomatoes. The boy then
asked, "What would you do if
someone cut down a tomato?"
To which the gardener replied.
"I'd give him a kick in the
pants." The gardener then con-
tinued hoeing weeds, when all
of a sudden he received a kick
in the pants. He turned to the
boy and asked, "What did you
do that for?" The boy replied.
"You cut down a tomato."
Finally, a story on
myself. Years ago when the
new dial-direct telephone ser-
vice using an area code had
just gone into operation. I had
the opportunity to make a call
to Houston to order some ra-
dio parts from Gates Radio. I
dialed direct and soon a voice
came on the phone, "Gates
Radio, London England." My
first thought was that I was
going to get a big telephone
bill and how would I explain
this to my boss. Well it turned
out that this guy was a new
salesman for Gates Radio and
his name was London En-
gland. I suspect he had a lot of
fun through the years.
(Evans furniture
Lay-Away ♦ f inancing Available
Most Credit Cards Accepted
Registered With Consumer Credit Bureau
119 W* HCU$t Kenneth & Kim, Owners
Cleveland, Texas (281)592-756?
EMPLOYEE OF THE MOM I H-l leveiana r >i\ Maiiagu Hector Eorestier pre-
sented the Employee OfThe Month Aw aid tot August u> tty employee Billy Puckett
who works in the water and sewet depart!m m i lie j -c Filiation was made at the
regular monthly meeting of the coune 11 Photo by Glen Dodson
CONSTITUTION WEEK PROCLAMATION
SIGNED-Mayor Lloyd Meadows signed a pro* lama
tion proclaiming September 17-7 3 as C o* m u A , ,
as Claire Garrett Watched. Phot>
18 Homes to Choose From
Please Call
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PHYSIC At
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What Better Place To Find SUCCESS
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Carpet Inst aIIations
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Illustrated Paperboy (Cleveland, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 22, Ed. 1 Wednesday, August 27, 1997, newspaper, August 27, 1997; Cleveland, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth852113/m1/7/: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Austin Memorial Library.