White Deer Review (White Deer, Tex.), Vol. 16, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, May 19, 1939 Page: 6 of 10
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WHITE DEER REVIEW, White Deer, Carson County, Texas
FRIDAY, MAY <19, 1939
4*
Italian Troops in Franco’s ‘Victory’ Parade
ADVANCE AGENT
Canvasser, explaining the terms
of sale: “You pay only a small
deposit. Then you make no more
payments for six months.”
Lady of the house: ‘1 Who told
you about us.?”
Novel Citizenship Class Has ‘Commencement’
if
“Citizenship day,” climaxing
two months of instruction by Dr.
R. J. Colbert of the University of
Wisconsin, left, will end a novel
project Sunday at Monitowoe
county, (Wisconsin, where new vo-
ters this year are being trained
in American government as a
means of combating indifference
and neglect. Photo at right shows
E. J. Donelly, city manager of
Two Rivers, Wis., one of several
volunteer instructors, assisting in
the work. “Graduating” students
will be given certificates.
MESSAGE FROM THE DEAD
The postman on a country
route called Jim out and gave
him a blackedged envelope.
“Looks like somebody died,”
he said.
“Y-yes,” answered Jim in a
worried tone. “It’s my brother
Joe. I recognized his handwrit-
ing.”
100 YEARS AGO
New York was a week’s jour-
ney from Boston.
No one had yet become acquain-
ted with vitamine^ or calories,
and a year of college study made
you a doctor.
Every gentleman wore a queue
and powdered his hair.
One-fifth of the countrie’s pop-
ulation lived in Virginia.
Ladies took their sewing ser-
iously and the ballot box was a
dream unborn.
The whipping post and pillory
were standing from Pilgrim days,
and the big man of town ran a
blacksmiths shop or livery.
A square meal consisted o f
beef, pork, salt, fish, potatoes and
hominy. No one had yet thought
of salads or hors d’oeuvres.
The church collection was tak-
en in a bag at the end of a pole,
with bell attached to arouse
sleepy occupants of pews.
Buttons were luxuries and trous
ers were fastened with pegs or
laces.
There were no telephones, type-
writers, trolleys, railroads, planes
or motor ears.
And there were no movie con-
test, no free verse, chewing gum,
cigarettes, zippers—nor boot-
leggers.
Still a. number of people in
those days considered that the
world was going at too fast a
pace.
Conflicting and Canfusing
“Mists Nellie Brown (received
painful injuries from the talons
of a large horned owl with a wing
spread over 34 inches which she
captured with her bare hands.
She will be stuffed and mounted
and put on display in the win-
dows of the First National Bank
on Main Street.—News item in
Elder, (pa.), Gazzette.
His Greatest Concern
The explorer, bowing low, ap-
proached the chief of the savages.
“I come to you from beyond
the sunset,” the white man began
intoning, “from the Great White
| King—
“Tell me,” interrupted the
chief, “why don’t you guys do
something about the lousy radio
programs you send over here?”
SMART NEWSBOY
A. B. Houghton, a former Am-
erican Ambassador to Great Brit-
ian, told the story of buying a
newspaper from a London news
bov, who charged him the usual
price of one penny.
“I guess I would have to pay
double the price of this paper if
I were in America,” Mr. Hough-
ton remarked.
“Well, said the newsboy, “You
can pay me double gov’nor, if
it’ll make you feel at home.”
Investigator—How is the tele-
phone service around here? Are
they always prompt?
Native—They’re prompt i n
part; they never miss sending my
bill on time.
There Was A Hitch
“Is your married life a happy
one ?’ ’
“Yes, I married the woman of
my dreams. She is as beautiful
to me as the day I met her. Her
hands are alwary white and soft.
Her hair is never untidy, and her
dresses neat and always the lat-
est.”
“So you don’t regret it?”
“No, but I’m getting pretty
tired of eating* out of tin cans
and paper sacks.”
Ilolowynge—I disapprove of all
brutal sports, including p r i z e
fighting and fishing.
Cryeng—Good heavens! How
can you associate those two
sports ?
Ilolowynge—Why not? Isn’t the
object of both to land a hook on
the jaw?
O’Jawish—You talk a lot less
since you got married. What has
changed you?
0’Pinch—My wife thinks I’m
the smartest man on earth and I
have to be mighty earful what I
say.
No Good On The Bench
Can you give a. description of
your missing cashier?
He is about five feet, five inches
tall and $700 short.
(Try Onr Classified ads)
■s,
CONGRATULATIONS
upon your
Graduation
Puritan Bakery
Bakers
Tender Crust and Royal Bread
A farmer, who bragged that he
had the fightin’est dog in three
counties, was in conversation
with a prospective buyer for the
dog, when along came a little dog
about half the size of the far-
mer’s dog. They fought, and the
little dog gave him a terrible
beating.
“Say, I thought you told me
he was the fightin’est dog in
three counties,” said the pro-
spect.
“He is,” the farmer said, “but
he is a dam poor judge of dogs!”
One of the most hopeful and
optimistic outlooks is that pic-
ture of a 39-year old man, head
hurried in a seed catalogue.
Corrigan’s success seems to be
the only one that people in our
town of White Deer dan recall,
that was made by going the
wrong way!
Circus Owner: “And what do
you do?”
Performer: “I’m a midget, sir.”
Circus Owner: “Go on! You’re
over five feet tall! ’ ’
Performer: ‘ ‘ Sure! I’m the tal-
lest midget in the world.”
OR WHY
Prof, (to freshman): “What is
a circle ? ’ ’
Freshman: “A circle? Oh,
that’s a round line, without any
kinks in it, joined at the ends so’s
you con’t find where it started.”
Four-Year-Old Harry
Foud-year-old Harry rvas spend-
ing the day with his aunt. Dinner
was late, and the child begin to
grow restless.
“Aunty,” he said finally, “does
God know everything?”
“Yes, dear,” answered, his aunt.
“Every little thing?” he per-
sisted.
“Yes, every little thing,” was
the reply.
“Well, then,” he said in a, tone
of conviction, “God knows I’m
hungry. ’ ’
The reason people pass one
door
To patronize another store,
Is not because the busier place
Has better silks or gloves or
lace,
Or cheaper prices, but it lies
In pleasant words and smiling*
eyes.
The greatest difference, We be-
lieve,
Is in the treatment folks re-
ceive.
—The Blue Bell.
The fellow who included a
couple of misspelled words in a
Webster’s Dictionary ad, as re-
vealed bv Boston University, can
remind his critics of the gram-
marian. Avho passed this on to
posterity: “Never use a preposi-
tion to end a sentence /with.”
A man driving in the Ozarks
came upon a fellow with a balky
mule.
“Can. I do anything to help?”
he inquiredl
“I guess not,” was the deject-
ed reply.
“Have you tried twisting his
tail?”
“I’ve tried about everything,”
was the laconic reply.
“Did you try building a fire
under him?”
“I’m saving that for the next
hill.” ■
EXCESS BAGGAGE
Sam had j)us,t pased the ex-
amination In the World War
draft. He said to the examiner:
“Boss, Ah’s lak to ask ane favor,
now you is got me in the army.”
“And What is that?” patiently
asked the examiner.
“Don’t put me in die eabalry.”
“What’s your prejuice against
the cavalry?”
“Boss, when All’s tol’ to re-
treat, Ah doan want no boss a-
round to git in mah way!”
Louisville & Nashville Employees
Magazine.
THAT’S DIFFERENT
Professor: “Are you cheating
on this examination?”
Student: “No, sir. I was only
telling him his nose was dripping
on my paper.”
Voo Doo
ALIBI
A Cockney mother and her
stalwart boy boarded a London j
bus, and as the conductor came '
for the fai*es, the woman said:
“One and a half fares, please.”
The conductor looked the half
fare over speculatively, and said:
“Lady, he looks awful old for
11.” (Children under 11 ride for
half fare.)
Indignantly the mother explain-
ed: “Can I help it he’s worried1
to death over Hitler?”—Boston
Herald.
There is probably girls in every
town like [White Deer, who are
single today because they could-
n’t stay awake while some fellow
talked about himself.
Tuffy—What’s the matter? You
look as though you’ve been in a
fight.
i Manzv—Just had a tussle with
a, dentist.
Tuffy—Who beat?
Manzv—It ended in a draw.
The way many a young fellow
in White Deer drives, it looks like
he is flirting with a girl and
courting an undertaker.
The young matron in the bridge
club who once tlmeatened to di-
vorce her husband if he ever got
bald, decided that his high temp-
les look very distinguished when
he proposed to take a. $30 series
of hair-restoring treatments.
Milton Smith had drowned in
the river, and a policeman was
sent to his homo to break the
new's to his wife. “Don’t scare
her to death,” his superior officer
warned.
So the officer wended his wav
to the Smith home and knocked
on the ,door. When Mrs. Smith
answered the summons the visitor
said:
“Is this where the Widow
Smith lives?
“I am Mrs. Smith,” said the
lady, “but I am not a widow.”
And the caller said simply:
“What will you bet?”
ONCE IN lOO YEARS I
TOO HOURS TO BUY I
«s4 j,,iiee
SUMMER
*7 SERVICE BARGAIN
1. Lubriccte chassis to factory speci-
fications
2. 5 quarts of 100% Pennsylvania
oii
3. Check transmission
4. Check differential
5. Vacuum-clean interior
6. Wash windows
7. Check, clean and recap spark-
plugs to factory specifications
8. Check battery
Jgfrn $149
Prices Slashed
On All Used
TIRES
JUBILEE PRICES
ON ACCESSORIES
Dual Rail Grille cn nn
Guard.....(Reg. $4,951
Mirror Clock.. (Reg. $1,651 L25
Double-Eagle
Spark-Plugs an
Installed.....(Reg. 59cl At
Brake Lever nn
Extension ....(Reg. 75eJ •*}/
Cushions, As- kq
sorted Colors (Reg. 49cJ
Bicycle Basket.. (Reg. S9el .59
Fog and Driving
Light (clear or O no
amber lens) (Reg. $3.981 A»tO
1 pint Goodyear
Auto Polish and
Cleaner
1 pkg. Goodyear < ,
Polishing Gauze (Reg. 64cl .40
1 pint Wingfoot
Tire Paint and oq
Top Dressing.. (Reg. 43cJ .07
Small Goodyear aa
Tube Repair Kit (Reg.)2cl .1/7
SEE^G-IOO^ GOODYEAR’S
CENTENNIAL TIRE
"G-100" All-Weather Is
NEW — new in design and
new in action. Lighter in
weight yet longer in wear!
Built to deliver 33% more
tread mileage. 1939's stand-
ard in fine-ca!* tires. Get
today's tire leader, TODAY
- it costs no more!
HALF-PRICE
CLEARANCE!
Standard Seat Covers, e /q
Coupe................* .00
Standard Seat Covers, | 90
Coach or Sedan........ i.JT
Goggles (values to 50c)... .19
Goggles (vclues to $1.50).. .69
Fender Guides (non- n.
illuminated! ........... .ij
Fender Guides (illuminatedI .39
House Fans ISefeflexI, n r%c
6-inch stationary....... i.ij
Genuine Kool Kooshion .... 1-43
lAil prices good May 18-30 ONLY/)
RELIANCE
SEAT COVERS
Tough, long-wearing,
snug-fitting covers.
Formerly priced at
$1.55 for Coupes —
$4.45, Coach or
Sedan.
'ftm* 98^ and $1.95
WINGS
MODEL"F”
TWIN HORNS
Beautiful in design and finish. Curved
projectors and super power aive them
a commanding voice on the road.
Complete with relay and wiring as-
sembly. Regularly priced at $7.65
per pair.
*4.25
LOW COST
HIGH VALUE
SAVE at the Sign of the Goodyear Diamond
€MZ>***> wingedServ/cE
gunnWnerman
I GOODYEAR TIRES—TUBES —BATTERIES?!
Pampa, Taxas
i
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Simmons, W. W. White Deer Review (White Deer, Tex.), Vol. 16, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, May 19, 1939, newspaper, May 19, 1939; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth871895/m1/6/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Carson County Library.