The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 22, Ed. 1, Saturday, February 27, 1926 Page: 2 of 4
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THE SIMMONS BRAND SATURDAY FEBRUARY 27 1996.
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sseond lw Matter Jane
tt MT at fee Feateffka at Abilene
IwaanlsUm Frlee per year $2.66
Ctbe Texas later-Collegiate
OAeat First Fleer Beteaee BaUdlng
aIBBjVBSBjM JSMH OBnlKofty A&Oxttifie
OTBB D. CARTER
JB8n9irlB"vJBWC
XAKLY JOINER
Manager
weald be aroused U we printed aft ac-
eoaai of the latest happening ia the
way- of daaee steps being tried by
our friends aad of other student act
ivities which are the common talk of
the campus.
We were under tho impresion that
freedom of tho press was .written
into tho constitution so long ago
"that tho mind of man runneth not to
the contrary." Perhaps tt was so far
back in the dark ages that our' mod-
ern board of faculty advisors havo
forgotten that in much' tho samo man-
ner King Gcorgo III forgot that the
colonists bcllovcd in personal liberty
or something of tho sort.
o
.WORDS
Cfea. Mffler itglng Editor Sports
Oeorr Park Assistant Sports
T. L. Wright. News Editor
Obeo Society
Conrad R. Leas- Asst Baa. Mgr.
Jee Breed Circulation Manager
STAFF REPORTERS
Maryfcanktaa
LeiM BBclisk
Merrell Lacy
Versa Smith
Geo. B. Marshall
Leonard Lynch
Ivy Rhodes
girls aad not allowing for time
changes let usstart the party. The
hours last from eight to twelve. Each
girl is worth seventy-flve cents every
two minutes. Four hundred multi-
plied by seventy-five cents and that
by one hundred twenty and wo havo
the' astounding sum of thirty-six
thousand dollars.. Repeat 'the pro-
cess twico a month for fivo months
and tho total reaches' $360000. What
wonderful business men theso deacons
wore.
Wo recommend a fovlvnl of tho
ancient customs to pay tho preacher.
o 1
CHAPEL COUGH
SMITH HALL TID-BITS
i - I tf?fi9
AROUND THE CASJPUS
SENIOR EDITION
MBRRELL LACY-
-Editor
q. W. McFARLINGAssodate Editor
Reporter: T. J. Bailey Bob Whip-
key Ruby Hatton Clco "Armstrong
John Clark Mattlo Cook W. G. Tank-
ersley M. D. Cornelius Claudine
C4sen Mary Hankins Gcorgo Parks
Charles Miller Lawrenco Wright
BULL
Not long ago wo were told that tho
ataaenta m English preparatory
schools were required to bo 97 per
eeat perfect on examinations in order
to eater the institutions of higher
learning. We wero also informed
that if we the student body of Sim-
wens University wero required to
measure up to a similar standard
not one of us would this day be
enrolled in this the most remarkable
Institution of secondary education to
be found on Hickory St.
The thought strikes us not hard
enough to do any material damage
however that posslblity there might
be others cannot with our great in-
stitution yea even members; of our
Venerable faculty -who if required to
be. 97 per cent perfect on examin
ations of subjects they teach or
superintend would nover havo known
that delightful self-confidence and
bike which they have derived from
their years. of intimate association
with our wonderful institulon.
But still they tell us that we are
dumb; all of which reminds us of the
near forgotten days when we were
mere children and our beloved Sun
day School teachers taught us say-
tag "Remove first the beam in .thine'
own eye 'before considering tho mote
fin thy student's eye" or words to that
vSeCCa
We are not insinuating or attempt:
( kg to offer suggestions. Far be it
from as to presume for one moment
that we are capable of undertaking
awh a supendous 'and hopeless task'
as .that of offering suggestions to such
' a .learned body of men and womri .as
our faculty.
We are only trying to show them
that we do not appreciate being so
openly called dumb. What if there
had been visitors to chapel that morn-
ing. Imagine our feelings when we
heard ourselves so belittled. Many of
as would hide our faces 'in shame.
Or ejven if they have found out' that
we are dumb--why try to "rub it in?"
Our only purpose is to lay the mat-
ter' before this accumulation of
scholars comprising our faculty and
to see if they respond properly. And
'.who konws truth is stranger than
fiction and stranger things than that
have happened.
We do not question the truth of
J the" ehargee but we beg leave to re-
'miad the authorities that if "knowl-
edge k the wings with which we fly
to Heaven" there are countless num-
bers of as who stand a -wonderful
.f cha'nee never to see the inside of the
pearly gates in that land across the
river that' they call the sweet forever.
It ia sot oar intention to advance
tfce ridiculous claim; that we the stu-
' aawtsaw net dumb but as our Lord
aqd Master onee remarked as he trod
vale of tears "Let him who is
sw heave the first rock."
o
TBLL THE TRUTH
All great speakers and lecturers
couch their orations or lectures in
tho simplest terms to bo.found. When
on deserts this practiso and gives way
to the use of high-sounding phrases
and' long and to tho majority of peo
ple meaningless words it is because
ofono of two reasons.
First. Tho speaker attempts to be
humorous and works to get a smile
or a laugh from his audience or
Second. Ho is attempting to impress
somo .one with an exaggerated idea
of his own importance.
Wo havo both types of speakers in
our. University.
Wo recall a' speaker on February
22 1026 who succeeded in his humor
ous attempt with the' ease of a
master. Wo havo examples of tho
other typo frequently. Some more
lenient persons have excused them on
the ground that they know so much
thoy cannot express themselves any
other way.
Ah I poor mortals to bo so edu-
cated that they find it impossible to
keep their vocabulary within the
knowledge of their less fortunate as-
sociates. There aro those in our midst who
prompted by higher ideals and ambit-
Ions.can in a wny make a little sense
of tho address of such a speaker.
But alas these are unfortunately a
minority.
We hold that for tho benefit of
those who aro- not so gifted as to be
able to drink in theso verbal draughts
of learning and to keep tho respect
of those who can these speakers
should modify their vocabularies
about 110 per cent.
o
At Williams it Is reported that the
Chapel-goers not only mntch pennies
lay bets on tho length of tho sermon
or tho prayer but also amuse tohm-
selves by coughing.
The Chapel CoUgh wo are told is
a mixture of tho cigarette cough and
braonchial cough.. It breaks out at
stateglc moments becnuso"bf ext6ndcd
sermons or scripture readings. One
professor while conducting the ser-
vlco and in danger of being drowned
out merely stops until quiet is re-
sumed while another is rcDorted to
skip rapidly over tho lesson reading
only tho end. Tho Westinghouso am-
plifiers installed this year have di-
minished the former custom of sleep-
ing in the reai" pews during tho ser-
vice Somo industrious students
bring books to read whilo an ocensin-
al magazine is found in tho pew . . .
The New Student
Simmons students can gamble on
whether tho chapel program will bo
interesting or not. Tho odds nro us-
ually fivo to one with no takers on
B. S. U. mornings.
BURSTINGS FROM THE
BURSAR'S OFFICE
Senior Day came and went with-
out any serious injury to anyone in
Smith Hall. There was very little
sleeping done Sunday night. Nell
Meuphaw could tell tho thrill that
camo when "Cop" called at 2 a. m.
and found tier on top the hall trying
to fly a slime banner. Those green
and gold pennants floated the breeze
five different times but cacti time
was a short lived glory. Tho .climax
camo when Elizabeth Myers set fire
to the big pennant. The walls of
Smith may. have had memories of tbe
days when boys stayed hero when that
FlshSoph tussle was on. Vcrlyno
Thompson says Senior Day is hard
on hair and bread boxes. Loryno
Wood nnd other say 'that "Oop"
proved very efficient in appearing un-
expectedly evon at basement wln-
odws. All is peace and calm now
and tho fight is only a memory.
Opal Patterson was. quite 111 Sun-
day night from ptomaine poison.
GOLF
Wa! would like sese one to tell us
te.ghfci every diy .language why
wBsa pnbHsationa are not' allowed
4 M) the tmia m the editors see
it. Hay la Httiat the administrations
tba sale stupid subservience
the editors at tfca eolege publi-
wM they as ta the habit
f vsMtofaur .imk these who eeiae
tfcafe aotooratk power? Is H
it is the tratk whkk hurts?
BT IMMhI MbTVW 4bMMI OlMitfaMBJL
iMtta4otetoattteoaro.ll
Golf is a game invented by a
Scotchman in order to teach the young
Scots to get all tho straw when reap-
ing grains. It has gained in popular-
ity and. has becomo a pastime for
tho idle rich. We notice where Bay-
lor X3n Texas U. and Rice Institute
all have golf teams and are contem-
plating making golf a major sport in
those schools.
1 Ere long we will be rallying some
8000 strong to see Simmons defeat
Howard Payno in a Ping-Pong or
Tiddldy-Winks contest. But why
not?
Why shouldn't Simmons have a
golf team? Yftyh tno wealth of
material we have on hand it is almost
a crime to see It unused.
'You ask who are golfers? "After
overcoming the amazement at your
ignorance we Hasten to answer.
. Consider Thomas E. (Mother) Boyd
of Throckmorton. One of the pre-
mier golfers of this .university a
steady consistent player with a
record far more beautiful than many
who havo won fame in this sport.
Then again this is Frank Kim-
brough it fit playing mate for Boyd
who never loses his control and who-
can be counted on in a pinch to come
thru with a par or birdie as the oc-
casion demands.
Next is Lancer (Shorty) Douglas
who according to his version v6ry
nearly hold the course record on one
of the local golf courses.
Those and many others worthy of
mention constitute a group which
would play the redoutable Bobby
Cruickshank or even James Ox Bal-
lew a close game.
With this abundance of. material
Simmons should organize a golf culb
procure a competent instructor and
in' a short time be one of the leading
schools in this field.
HUGGING SOCIAL PAYS DEBTS
A "hugging social" to pay off a
church debt was held in Springfield
Ohio fn 1005 acording to a story in
the Daily Texan. The Texan gleaned
its information from the Austin
Statesman files.
Following are the rates according
to the Texan: Girls under 15 years
of age 15 cents for a two minute hug.
Girls under 20 years 50 cents. Girls
20 to 25 75 cents. Another man's
wife f 1.00. Old maid's 3 cents with
no time limit" Baylor Lariat.
The aid timers' knew their busi-
ness. What gallant young man could
refuse such an opportunity as this.
Two minutes Isn't much time but
much can he accomplished if all the
conditions are favorable. This would
be one business deal in which every-
one would be 'satisfied presumably.
The managers of the party should not
complain. The girls "'would be happy
and the boys sattaaed.
Just to deasoMtrate the poseibili-
ttes of the sehome lei ua figure Stop-
It was reqahfa M raise an on-
toad. With
Dear Mr. Chandler: '
Can you give mo advice as to ad
vice as to how to keep Bernlce from
trifling on mo?
Please do not mention this to the
Dean or Prexy and In fact this note
is strictly confidential.
Answer: Frank be patient for
"Everything comes to him who waits
But here's a plan that's slicker
Tho - guy who goes . after what
wants
Will get It that much quicker."
Smith Hall has been honored this
week with Miss Priscilla Potter as
guest of Missos Head and Hobgood.
Some of the girls aro still wonder-
ing if Guy Caldwell was compliment-
ing some girls on their spunk or try-
ing to foul them for 'their nerve in
appearing at tho Junior-Senior ban-
quet without a date.
Katy Herrington nnd Dorcas Boeder
have decided to bo "profs" next year
and made a "business" trip to Loraine
last week end.
in
Louise English's father camo
from Lowell Ark. Saturday a. m.
and she went with him to Knox City
for tho week end. Mr. English is con-
sidering a call to the pastorate of the
Baptist church there. Louise may be-
come a Texan yet.
.After receiving many letters tele-
grams proposals and numerous com-
mittees all trying to sign up our re-
tiring coach P. E. Shotwcll ho is
still undecided as to bis future em
ployment.
Eddlo Chandler feels it his duty to
protect tho slimes even to tho extent
of forsaking his bed at midnight to
plead their cause with uppcrclnss-
men.
"Mtnie" Baird and "Mother" Boyd
leayo today for on extensive wolf
hunt In tho wilds of Throckmorton.
Tho slimes were consplclous by
their nbsenco Monday and Tuesday.
A. C. Harper wants to know if a
man has big feet does ho have a good
understanding.
With tho wonderful success of tho
choral club will Prof. H. Grady Har
lan purchase another houso?
Ask Johnny Atkinson what tho
word "Lingerie" means.
No man is really successful now-
adays until ho has more than one
bootlegger.
Adam made a world's record that
will never be broken when ho enme
first In tho human race Carnegie
Tech Puppet
It is better to be a cynic than
never to havo loved at all. Southern'
California Wampus.
Footprints on the sands of time
aro not mado by sitting down. How-
ard Lawpoon.
he
Burleson College.
To the Registrar
Simmons.
Dear Sir:
We have sent you two promising
lads from Burleson College nnd trust
they have not disappointed you and
that they aro holding up the stand
ards of OLD BURLESON. We are
rounding out a couple more of ath-
letes and would liko to learn from
you if your Mr! C. M. Caldwell Presi-
dent of your Board of Trustees has
any extra daughters that are avail-
able for Burleson Boys. Your reply
wil be considered confidential.
(Signed Dean Burleson College.
Answer:
I am sure both of these boys could
give the information and gladly so
so I have referred the matter to our
social committee in conjunction with
these boys.
Respectfully submitted.
Mr. Hub Haire of Post Texas was
the guest of Loryno Wood Monday.
Mr. and Mrs. J.' R. Cooke
visitors in tho hall Tuesday.
WANTED Some big- bravo man to
carry out tho mice after I catch them
In my new trap See Clco Armstrong.
When You Want Books Stationery
Fountain Pens Pencils
Simmons Pons and Rings Pennants And School Supplies
Sco
SIMMONS UNIVERSITY
BOOK STORE
ALWAYS DEMAND GROCERIES
OF THE SUPREME TYPE
H
J. ft SHAW
fresh meats and groceries
Phono 1600 2240 Hickory
iiwi'iifiilil:iii-
Misses Priscilla Potter and Mary
Cooper Messrs. Anderson and Thomp-
son wore dinner guests of Misses
Head and Hobgood on Wednesday
evening of this week.
o :
Brownwood Texas.
Dear Brother Chandler:
W ehave had somo correspondence
in regard to the athletic situation
during the year but now I nm writ-
ing to learn of certain facts which
I know to exist at your worthy in-
stitutions relative to tho President of
Simmons. I am anxious to apply the
arts and crafts so plainly evident in
meeting the moneyed people of this
country with a view of relieving
them of some of their COLD CASH.
To make the question short and to
the point. J wnn( to know just how
your Prexy collects so much money
for SIMMONS from this section' of
the country. v
Answer:
"Some people are BORN LUCKY
and somo are Just BORN."
Dear Mr. Chandler:
Do you think if I should have hair
of a 'blondy' typo I would have a
better chance with Gibbie or do you'
think I had better stay like I am?
Your reply will bo greatly apprecia-
ted provided you are in position to
give me somo comfort in the matter.
I am over his '
Tiny Marie.
Answer:
Indications are that the brunette
typo is holding its own. .
FIVE YEARS AGO
Coach Easterday's warrior's de-
feated San Marcos 34-4 in a slow
basketball game" on the local court
Howard Payne went down 38-14
before tho onslaught of the Simmons
aggregation. -The captain of tho
Simmons team was absent and the
gamo was described as being un-
usually slow.
Hall Walker president of the
Senior Class presented the college
with the latest Improved wireless
telegraph and telephone station as
tho Senior gift to the college.
The Juniors were hosts to the
Seniors at tho Grace Hotel Feb. 21
at the annual Junior-Senior banquet.
FIRE IN LEWIS BARN
A fire starting when the wind blew
some burning trash into a barn owned
by Mrs. Lewis did about $75.00 worth
of damage Thursday morning.
The loss was covered by insurance.
The barn was located near the cam-
pus on Hickory street nnd many Sim-
monsltes arrived in time to see the
Abilene fire department extinguish
the flames.
ASK FOR
BiitterKrust
Bread
Tho Loaf That Is Always
Fresh I
MEAD BAKING CO.
THE WILSON
EATS DRINKS SWEETS
AND SMOKES
O. L. Johnson Proprietor
222 P'ine Street
luuii t ...'..;; rjT'iiiiTK'Uinii.ii in n iiini. i.iii'TTirrrn fi'i :i ia .liiHHiaa
POSTON-HEMPHILL CO.
Pine and Second
NOW SHOWING COMPLETE LINE
LADIES AND MISSES SPRING COATS
DRESSES MILLINERY AND SHOES
itf.nn.imvi.i m i jiiii!';:;i!!i niuinnn I'.nu.i1.! iMii'i.iri Mii.in.i:iiT?r;iii
SANDERS & MITCHELL BARBERSHOP
extends a hearty welcome to all the old and new students who
in Simmons this term.
Visit us in our no wlocation in the basement of the Central
State Bank corner North Second and Pine.
Beauty Parlor in Connection
EjaicflHIHiai5ISISISI3ISISI3IEI5M3I3ISJ3I53JSISISISia
BMB
MEET YOUR FRIENDS AT PRESLEY'S
JEWELRY AND GIFT SHOP
C. M. PRESLEY
JEWELER
209 Pine Street
YOU WDLL ALWAYS GET THE
BEST IN SHOE. BEPATBmG
D? LEFT WITH US!
GOOD YEAR SHOE
SHOP
176 Cypress Stroet
pnHBflBBflHBflKBmtPimDtDil
QUALITY FLOWERS :: DEPENDABLE SERVICE.
FLOWERS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
The Philpott Florists
Shop 1020 North Second :: Phono 1602
mffiniflramimfflmmmaimaigKiKiKiimmmicmtwnmffimmtiimmmmmfBmfM
n.niuii!.!;..m!iii:!!i.iiJiiL!ii!i:i:ii!triiviii'i'nr.i-i''iiiiiiiiiiniiijHiiiw
BRADLEY-JONES COMPANY
Sporting Goods
wholesale and retadl
Tennis Racket Re-stringing Felt Letters and Monograms
made to order. Gun Work. We repair anything all work
dono in our repair shop guaranteed. i : : :
SgP
' Ft. Worth Texas.
Dear Sir:
I have been receiving sample copies
of the Simmons Brand and notice in
several copies one of your buildings
referred to as "Dorm." I have1 a
girl I. havo been thinking of sending
to SIMMONS and notice that the
girls are required to remain in the
"Dorm" after 10 p. m. Will you
please tell me what is the (dea of
requiring these girls to stay in such
a place and inform what dojfyou
mean by the "Dorm." .
Answered by M. P. girls;
"A j4aae in whteh we live move
aad ha our baans."
.ryf ca n
: r v :
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mss
'4M8
No other land on earth offers rick
K - er opportunities for the young man i
P or young woman imbued with a de- 3 ;
g! termination to succoed through hon- 1
H est seryice in professional or indus-
I trial lifo than this West Texas. 1 -
V ' ' PI '
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I WEST TEXAS UTILITIES H 4
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9 GENEUAL OFFICES: ABILENK; TEXAS "' H
Ml II Ml BILL-' IIMHI MMiiJ-
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The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 22, Ed. 1, Saturday, February 27, 1926, newspaper, February 27, 1926; Abilene, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth96607/m1/2/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Hardin-Simmons University Library.