The Cooper Review. (Cooper, Tex.), Vol. 26, No. 32, Ed. 1 Friday, August 11, 1905 Page: 4 of 8
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m copjMi? mww.
By Hakt Brothkkh.
01.oo
A YEAR
Riterni] it the Post Office at Cooper as
(tooonri GUhi Mall Matter.
Ooopir.Tkx., Friday, A»:« 11,1905
Chan up!
Have you cut your
weedsV
The sunshine lias driven away
the blues. _
the mos-
The way to suppress
quitu is* to smash the
mouhaters
MINT LIXBV.
«L*,v, Lueindy. do come right In, for
wo shore air tickled to see ye. Now lilt
ain't been - minutes s'nce I ses to Wor-
thy, s--z 1, •Marth.v, 1 do believe In my
soul Luclndy has | turn forgot all about
me uul you. fer she ain't been over In a
rIy ' smart spell, an 1 she allit sent no
word yil about that that matrimony
i bureau like she promised to, and like-
ly as not she aint never thunk nary
word about the bureau since the day
me and you was thar and them pesky
Tweekins' ut ilises come over and dis-
rupted our chat and made sich a hub-
bub about somethin' or other a takin'
place their house, 1 never did know
what lilt wuz,' and Martliy, she s /. to
me, sex. she, 'Yes, 1 reciting Sist, :• Unin-
. int a thlnkli * nothin' about u ;
W, , I more II .a a lie it'.
lUO.SqUlto j and our tr >u
m „ j hem Sandt i
I that thar matrimony bureau?" asked
Miss Safronla ns she handed Mrs. Rain-
water the snuff box Mrs. Rainwater
took the proffered box, swiped tier snuff
stick around In It several times, then,
•itier conveying a huge "dip" to her
month, said:
"That's jlst what I come over to see
youns about. Ye see, John Peabody. In-
come out yisterday evenin’ and I up and
tole him about what Alvtry told you’ns
about that thar matrimony bureau, and
I ast John If he ever bourn tell of sl< h
a nrtickle. and he lowed as how them
matrimony bureaus were as thick as
hops and folks git married outer 'em
nil the time."
"Well. T do know In iny soul!" glee-
fully exclaimed the old males.
"Yes, and John Iowd as how you-nnn
ort to tackle that bureau and no tellin’
what sort of a man you’re liable to
land, fer bo lows all the most murrtage-
ablest men in Texas is in that bureau,
and if you and Marth.v "111 write a let-
ter. ami redress hit to lb. Matrimony
Bi.....a Dalla '! xa he’ll mad the
II be shore to
"s s twins • lias come and , letter Ids : -If. se's hit
icy n terrine blow between the eyes,
while he declared emphatically that
"all three of them trlpsters has busted
loose with the hlfelutlns. and maw sez
come right Straight over.”
"Raw. I mought a knowed Sister
Tweekins would hr k.-erless with them
triplets and let 'em ketch some ailment
or other. I’ll Jl.st go right over and doc-
tor 'em it fore she sends after Pr. Iair-
kins." said Mrs. Rainwater ns she took
a hoy by each hand and started In the
dirt tlon of "Sister Tweeklns's" while,
tin* two old maids turned to one an-
other in disgust.
“pld you ever?" said Martliy.
"No. I never," declared Safronla.
Prisoners Freed.
San Antonio, Aug 4. -Because Mayor
Callahan had failed lo provide food for | ,
the idty prisoners, seventeen, the whole
number In the Jail, were set free by
Judge Dwyer upon application by
habeas corpus In their behalf.
NOW ALLIANCE mill.
The sicknc."
silt atilt skeereely got v.IC.c to git -l
fresh breath, for tryin' to keep them
outer misti hlef.'. Now want them the
won Is spoke by you to im , Martliy?”
1 spoke them identical words to
Salt any, but do tell, Sister Rainwater,
win I on airtli has been beepin' ye
away? Ye ingineily mint' live or six
that always fol-
lows excessive rains and hot
weather, has already set hi. All
the health laws should he care-
fully observed especially in eating Units a week, and hits been a plum
w eek since we seed or heel'd tell of ye.
Take a cliulr a ml set down and give a
count of yourself," said Martha, as sia
plated a chair for her guest, while Jim
Posit y, who was quietly smoking at one
| end of the long porch, immediately r
and drinking.
If the theory as to mosquitoes
carrying yellow fever germs is cor-
rect then it is Olisy to accept the f|ijej his pipe, brought liis chair anti
Statement made by leading physi- seated himself in easy hearing distance
cians that they also carry malari-
al germs. Suppre
and no doubt there will be le>
fever this summer and fall.
It’s possible yet to make a
fair sized cotton crop in this sec-
tion, though it must he admitted]
that prospects are not as bright
as we might wish Cotton is a
peculiar plant and its promises up
to August 1st amount to little.
If the rains will cease their visits
for three or four weeks an aver-
age crop may he made, and this,
with the good prices that are as-
sured. may cause us to forget all
our troubles.—Honey Grove Sig-
nal.
In conformity with the new law,
which went into effect last month,
requiring the state, counties and
municipalities to advertise for
sealed bids for the use of their
money, the city concii Monday
night authorized the city sec-
retary to advertise for sealed bids
for the city’s average funds on
deposit for the next ten months.
Only banking corporations, as-
sociations and individuals doing
business in the city are eligible to
bid. The old law prohibited
them loaning their money, thus
giving the banks the free use of
it. Cooper will probably have on
deposit an average of nearly $2000
for the next ten months.
l.awsy, massy, gals, haint I been
the mosquito over to Sister Tweekina's all tills week
! a helpin' her take ket-r of them three
triplets? and slch a time as we has
had," said Mrs. Rainwater, seating her-
sel fand sighinlg weareily as she farmed
vvilh her turkey wing.
"The Dickens you say! Triplets nt
Tweeklns's house?" exclaimed Jim Mos-
ley, letting Ills pipe fall from Ids mouth,
in his excitement, the hot contents of
which dropped Into his opened shirt and
caused him to jump to his feet and
shake himself vigorously to get rid of
the burning ashes.
"Sln-t your mouth! Luclndy Rainwa-
ter' Sich as that Is jilum scanlous and
I katnt skeereely believe no sich," sold
Miss Safronla, while Mar thy walked
the floor excitedly, saying:
lids redickerlous, plum redlokerlous,
thar and he will li *• - '1 1 11
you-uns a .answer to your correspond in
less than a week.”
“Well, Martliy, less me and you Jbu
write that letter tills very evenin' and
give hit to Mr. Peabody to mail. 1
wouldn't thli k o' trustin’ sich a Im-
portant letter <o nobody else to mall,
but Luclndy. air ye dead shore Mr.
Peabody aint n Joltin ' Ye know lie's a
powerful hand lo joke," asked Safronla.
"Lav. rads. John would be the hi t
puffson on airth to Joke about sich
a solemn thing as a matrimony bureau,
fur ye know thar aint nothin’ more se-
rlouser than gittin’ married and be-
sides, John thinks sich sights of me
he wouldn’t think of playin’ a joke on
me and you-uns.”
"Air ye shore he's, got confidence In
that thar bureau?” queried Martha.
"Yes; John has got sights of contl-
denro in them bureaus, for he lowd as
bow some of the most notrlousest folks
In the worl got their wives outer them
bureaus."
"Well, I do know In my soul!" said
Martha.
‘Yes, John, lie lowd as how he's al-
most sartin shore Brigham Young must
a got some of them wives of his’n outer
a bureau, and he sez he's purty nigh
shore them New York senators, Tom
Platt and Chancy Depew, must a pat-
ronized them bureaus, for he lows as
how sich ole roosters as them couldn't
a got married at all if they didn't
work some kind cf a shenanigan game,
and say, gals, ye have hearn tell of Jeff
and I wouldn'a a thunk no sieli ol MoLemore, down In Austin, aint >e
Monday night tho city council
ordered an election to be held
Tuesday, September 5th, to vote
on it $15,000 bonds issue for the
purpose of building a new school
building. The proposed bonds i re
to run forty years at 5 per cent
interest with a ten year option.
The law does not permit a tax for
school bonds to exceed 25 cents
on the $100 valuation, and as the
outstanding bonds at present are
requiring a 5 cent levy, some
were in favor of cutting these
bonds down to $12,000. It was
shown, however, that figuring on
a basis of half a million dollars,
which is a little less than Cooper’s
present valuation, a 20 cent levy
would pay the interest and providt
an adequate sinking fund for the
$15,000 bonds. It was also shown
that if all of the $15,000 was not
needed to complete the building
that any* part of it <,r>nhl be
held by the city and not di-pn-ed
of. The council scenic.i pleased
with the plan and unanimously
supported the order. There is no
doubt but that their action ex-
><l the sentiment of the
people. _
Ask your doctor about
gallons wears longer.
“Fewer
Slstr-r Tweekins. tut you say they're all
line- triplets?”
“Yes, sir, aver one of 'em. Three
triplets, shore as ye’re horned,” said
Mrs Rainwater calmly.
"Well, all I got to say is. Urothei
Tweekins must be a man after Roose-
velt's own heart, fer thar shore aint
no race suicide aroun' his house, but
(nought I ast what mought he the ffe-
nomlnatlon of them three triplets? Is
they gills, or hoys, or both, and if so,
what Is their names?" asked Jim, as he
once more filled his pipe arid settled
himself comfortably In the large rock-
er at the end of the porch.
"These is boys, and they’re named
John Henry Kirby, Tom Randolph and
Frank Yoakum. Brother Tweekins lowd
as how he aint a goin' to name no more
of his children alter politicians and
statesmens, sum" as he hits been a
doin’, but In the futer. he lows to name
his children nrter the finances of the
country. Now he lows as how John
Henrt Kirby, Tom Randolph and B. F.
Yoakum is the biggest tlnancees Texas
has ylt per.luced and he perposes to
make them three triplets follow their
examples and grow up just like the fel-
lers they’re named for.”
"I.emine see. How many kids In the
Tweeklns's family now? Thar's Tom
Campbell, fust, then Carrie Nations and
Ilelvy Lockwood, then them twinges,
(Sammy Cooper and Charley Culber-
son). and now comes John Henry Kir-
by, Tom Randolph and Frank Yoakum.
Well, that’s a pretty good cotton pickin'
outfit and if them kids belonged to me,
Instld of rnakin' finances, statesmens
and female cranks outer 'em. I'd put
the hull gang In the colton patch," said
practical Jim as he smoked contentedly.
"Female Cranks? Law Jim. dln't
ye know Brother Tweekins has done
changed Carrie Nation's name to Katie
Duff an ?"
"The dickens, you say! Now what’s
that fur-'"
“Well, he lowed as how he ' as seed
Carrie and Katie both, and he likes
Katie's looks the best and he lows as
how Katie has got more sense than
Carrie, and he hopes hts gal will grow
up and be Jlst exactly like Katie Daf-
fun instid of like Carrie Nutlons.”
"Well, all women looks alike to me,
and I don't re. kin Bill Tweeklns's gal
will act any dlffcrenter since she's
changed to Katie Daftan than she did
when her name was Carrie Nations,
but I jist believe I'll sorter sa liter
aroun’ and take a look at them tiip-
lels.” said Jim as he arose and began
1 looking around for bis hat.
When he had left Martha and Sa-
fronla brought their chairs close to
Mrs Rainwater, so that their remarks
might not be overheard by any chance
Intruder.
"Luclndy, me and Marth.v .aint a
keelin' nothin' about thorn triplets, tier
them twins*-:- nor them two gats of
Sister Tweeklns's, for wo has a heap
mote Importantpe things to tall: about
any now. Now, pint we Martliy." said
Mi-s Safronla.
"That's what we has and T shorn am
glad me and you aint rio sich thl'ivs to
tie botherin' with ns twins and triplets,
aint you, Stftony."
“Well. I reekln so. As fur ns I am
concerned, I never lows to git mar-
ried n5l tong as I live, but sav, Luclndy,
haver ’arn tell anythin* mn— ah<vit
Well, John sez as how Jeff is dead
shore to be in some of them bureaus,
and so is Judge Bell of Fort Worth
and specially since he Is lowin’ to run
for Governor of Texas, because John
lows as how no single feller can't bo
elected to no high office. (That’s what
heat Jeff last summer when lie wuz
runnln’ fer office), and Jedge Boll will
git heat too If lie don't git married, and
John sez as how he wouldn't swar ii
court that them fellers is in the bu
reau, but he Is almost sartin shore they
want to git married and so does Fd
Green, and if you-uns puts in yorp
application at oast ye're llerble to land
Jeff. Jedge Bell or Fd Green. All three
of them is likely fellers, and John, he is
almost dead shore them three fellers is
in the matrimony bureau and he is
plum willin’ to help you gals ketch
whichever one you want. He likes them
fellers and sez thar aint no nicer men
no whars and he would like to set- ’em
do well In the marryln’ lino, and
willin’ to help ’em out If he kin. and —
"I,uw, I alius did like Mr. Peabody
and wo will write them letters tills
very night, and while wo air waitin'
fer the answers, me and Martliy will
Jlst fix up and go to Tiogv Wells, for
they do iv sights and sivhts of folks
goes thar and gits eyored, hut Luclndy.
air ye shore them water is as good for
tho yaller janders ns Mineral Wells?"
“Jlst ns good, Sa fenny, and I’d vise
you nr.d Marth.v to git ready ter-mor-
rer, go to Dallas, ketch that Kitty Fiv-
er or the Cannon ball either, light
right out fer Tlogy, because—”
"Ketch Katy Flyer? Well. T don't
know who Katy Is, nor whuther she is
a gal or a wldder, but I kin tell ye
right now. 1 don't low to chase nrter no
Katy Flyer nor no Cannon Bull nuttier.
If I never do git eyored of them yaller
Janders, and if I have got to head off
some gal or take nrter a cannon ball,
to ketch a feller. I’ll jist stay to hum
from Tlogy. Do you blame me
Martliy?"
“Not nary bit, and more than likely
Katy Is n wldder and if she Is. thar
ain't no use tryin' to head her off, fer
wldders be,-its everybody when hit
comes to ketchin’ fellers," said Mar-
tha sympathlzlrigly.
“Law, gals, you-uns shore Is green
and Ignerent, If you nlnt never hearn
tell of Katy Flyer. She alni no gal
and she aint no wldder, hut that's Mill
Crush’s fast train, and <' r-non P.'l! Is
Ed Turner's fast train and folks travels
on them when they wants to go any
whars In n big burry. If ye travel on
the-ii trains ye’ll get thar afore ye have
skeereely started," said Mrs. Rainwa-
ter.
'Law. Luclndy. why didn't ye say so
afore. To he shore we’ll g!: t- ady and
start termorrer and we'll write them
letters lo . Land of g< her"
cones them Tweeklns's vounstins
agin."
"Maw sez come right over. Them
Trlrfc1'’?rt ha- b’-!:i with tv ,-ppI-
znoilcs," said Charley, fanning himself
with Ills lint as h- f»l| onto the door
fen closely fsito--■ -‘fi i->v Hnmmv. who
rnv" forth the In "•’••fiat ion that "the
Trlpsters had hrnl.out with lilfelu-
| tins "
"Taint; It’s the eppyzootlcs, ' deelar-
I ed Charley again, as lie put out Ms
foot and tripped Hamm”, who was
hi < '• '< 'n t.n Instant anti spatted Ch i -
ThoiisanSsT'ot Dollars Spent in New
Machinery ami Fitiiux—Everything
Modern and lip to-Date.
11When we have completed the
work of installing Hie new machinery
you will have the most thoroughly
up-to-date, the most completely-
equipped and the hest mill in the
United Stares, bar none.
“ Every machine in the plant will
he the best, the moat sanitary, tho
finest and the moat economical that
the most modern methods and the
latest inventions can supply.
“We shall take extra pains, shall
send you our most expert workmen
and we shall spare no effort within
our power to surpass anything that
our company has ever done in mill
construction to keep the Alliance
Milling Company where it has always
been—at the very front of llour-pro-
queers—and we are confident that
every detail will he thoroughly satis-
factory.”
That, in substance, was what the
John T. Noyes Co. of Buffalo, N. Y.,
foremost in the art of making mill
machinery wrote the Alliance Mil-
ling company of this city when the
latter, after deciding to make exten-
sive improvements, gave their con-
tract to the Noyes Company, which
installed the first machinery in the
Alliance plant and which has kept it
up to-the minute every since.
There were no other bids received.
The local company thought hpst not
to secure competitive bids. Cheap
ness was not what they were after
The Noyes company had put in i s
first plant, which lias produced the
flour that has won a world-wide
tame and gold mendals, premiums and
diplomas galore throughout tin-
world. The managers of the mil.
(Voided, therefore, that they were
looking for quality and not cheap-
ness and the contract was according-
ly given.—Denton .Record Chronicle.
The products of these mills, locat.
ed at Denton, 4-Peacemaker” and
‘-Gold Medal” Hour, are handled by
the Ratliff-Morrill Co. exclusively in
this territory. They have just re
cstved a car of flour from this new
mill and guarantee the purchaser
perfect satisfaction. Try one sack
and you will use it ever alter.
First
National
Bank
of Cooper
Capital and Surplus
$125,000.00
S+rong
Conservative
AccommodatiTTCf {
H. B. Lain, President
T. T. Garrard, Vice-Pres
R. M. Walker, Cashier
Charles Naylor, Ast-Cashier
DIRECTORS
W. .1. McDonald, H. D. Mc-
i ionald, H. W. Pierce, T. T.
Garrard, S. C. Ratliff, H. B.
Lain, R. M. Walker.
PARK C\ LUNG,
ATTORN EY AT LAW
Will practlco I , all the Courts, Special
tnntlnn tflvAi tit Collections
Cooosr
Texas
L. WOOD,
Sulphur .-prints
NEWMAN PHILLIPS,
Cooper.
WOOD & PHILLIPS
Attorney at Law.
Will practice in till the State and
United States Courts.
Du. W. G. ELLINGTON,
DBNTIST,
Somnoforme used in extract-
ing teeth,
West Side Square, in Patteson
Building,
Cooper, - - . Texas.
SCOTT & BALDWIN.
TEXAS.
Lend money on land; also
buy and extend vendors
lien notes.
Dr. J. B. GARRARD,
DBNT1ST,
Office over Ratliff-Moanll Co.
North side square, Cooper Texas.
Nitrous Oxide Gas Used in
Extracting Teeth.
Read This.
Edna, Tex ., March 14, 1903.. Dr.
E. W. Hall, St. Louis, Mo. Dear
Sir. 1 have been cured of kidney and
rheumatic troubles by the use of
vour Texas, Wonder, Hall’s Great
Diecoverv. and lean fully recommend
It t.i otliers si'ffering tho same
manner. L. E, WARD.
Nothing has ever equalled it.
Nothing can ever surpass it.
A Texas Wonder.
One small bottle of tho Texas
Wonoer. Hall’s Great Discovery,
cures all kidney and bladder troub
h-s. removes gravel, cures diabetes,
seminal emissions, weak and lame
hacks, rheumatism and all irregular
tlies of the kidneys and bladder in
both men and women, regulat*
bladder trouble* in children, I
not sold bv your druggis’, will l
•.out by mail on receipt of #1 On
mail bottle la tw ■ tu-.n';.- 'realm, n
■ nd seldom fails >n perfect a cure
[) E W. Hall, -ole manufacture
F. 0. dux ti'20, 8t. Louis, M .
•’end tor mstunoDtaL, Sold by u:l
-ngg-ata.
Dr. King’s
New Discovery
For P
A Perfect For All Throat and
Cure: Lung Troubles.
Money back if it fail.. Trial Pottles free.
TS
~~4
I Promptly nbtioupd nr no fro. Writ, for r-url
1 CONFIDENTIAL LETTER before!
I applying lor patent: it is worth money. Wei
jotituin patents that Pay.I
j find help inventors to success. J
I Send model, photo or Rketrh, and we send I
IMMEDIATE FREE REPORT ON PAT-
| KNTABILITY. 2C yG*r.i’ .ii.ttlLt. IwG£»3-|
Itcrod Patent Lawyers. Write or come to I
Ilia at 606-507. 7th St.. WASHINGTON. 0. C. [
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The Cooper Review. (Cooper, Tex.), Vol. 26, No. 32, Ed. 1 Friday, August 11, 1905, newspaper, August 11, 1905; Cooper, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth984440/m1/4/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Delta County Public Library.