The Collegian (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 15, Ed. 1, Thursday, January 17, 1935 Page: 3 of 4
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'( S "
ft-
MEDITATOr
IN IDE BATHTUB
By G. Leaeh
Hambono Hays: "Trouble bout weed-
in out ' bad habits dey gin-ally
brenks off at dc groun en leaves de
roots to grow up n'gln!"
Perhaps one year ago we "swore
0f" or made some good resolutions
for the coming year. Wo can now
look backward over the year just
passed Into history and tell whether
or not our resolutions have borne fruit
or were like Hnmbone's.
The Meditator made only one reso-
lution last yenr and he did not break
It. He resolved: Not to break his
1D34 resolutions; the fly In the oint-
ment is that he made no resolutions.
Now this is hardly fair for the dovll
so he El Meditator Is going to do
some icsolvlng for 1935.
1 So live every day of 1935 that I
can look any damn man In the face
and tell him to go to h ; 2 1 resolve
not to include in my prayers "Give
mc this day my dally bread" but In-
stead "Give mc this day my dally
work" I'll get the bread then with
some to spare; 3 1 further resolve not
to take life too seriously In 1935 be-
cause In the end I will lose It any-
way; I Last but not least I resolve
to take a bath with Live B'voy and
do nil the meditatln' I please 'twill
be for my good nnd the good of my
associates.
Kendcis If any please note the
front page. Hold it off at a distance
and see if you find any resemblances
of the '35 model cars. Yep she is the
"Stteamllncd Edition!" Be sure to get
the next' Issue. It Is going to have
knee action down draft carbueration
with fiec wheeling and the latest in
internal combustion. Look out folks
we've gone modern.
Foster our best inactive associate
editor says that we arc in a tail spin
but we got parachutes so ne'er fear
we'll glide along.
People ccitainly forget things In a
hurry. December 31 1934 the Medi-
tator tiied a test on a few friends
he the Meditator is always digging
up tests and things. Not a one of the
five f i lends that look the test knew
thit ex-Fiesident Coolidge was dead
and he only died late In 1933. Well
it just goes to show what?
Anyhow in spite of the absent
mindedness of the populace of this
nation the Meditator is sure that 1935
Is going to be n prosperous one for
him because he got one of those new
fangled sunken bath tubs for a Xmas
present. Already he has had 17 baths
In same and with every one came an
Inspiiing thought. Did ou ever think
of the high cost of keeping clean?
Well read the fiist editoilal on the
next page.
Two books the Meditntor would ad-
vise nil to lead are: Singers In the
Dawn a bi ief supplimcnt of the study
of American liteiature of the negro
compiled b Robert B. Eleazer and
The Philosophy of Elbert Hubbard n
book of potent sayings muscular com-
monsense and the energetic idealism
which mnde up Elbert Hubbard'H Phi-
losophy the teachings by meuns of
which he helped thousands of men and
women to achievement compiled by
his son Elbert Hubbard II. The latter
is one of the llnest books the Medita-
tor ever stumbled upon. It Is modern
M! of fire and a wonderful well-filled
oat bin for the possessor of common
hoise sense to feed from. Read it and
you will see why this scilbe gives it
the toast of eternal life.
Einstein savs that u wound ud
atch weighs more than an unwound
one-just ns a head full of knowledge
lghs moie than one that is char-
acteristic of the D. B. campus- mean-
ing Us nnd Co. Anyhow our watch
las run down.
"Gnothe Seuuton."
To The Newly-Weds
(The One Chosen Housekeeper)
B a Daniel Baker Bachelor
A little soda or vinegar In water
wl make tough meat tender.
iu your 8Mrtlded coconut Is dry
:. har(J- Pt It in a smuil sieve and
"earn for ft while then cool. Mix
sweet" llUI powUcred HUBar to rc"
When you cean tno Uoor knob and
and iU? tnke a raB wlth polish on it
nib up the kitchen spigots and tho
JUirooni metal fixings. They are of-
surh .tlen anU int when clean give
uch"well kept appearance.
Pn. DePr'on Milk
USSSynter l8 a 80d "Ubstltuto
pff.k In nMlnK Bevies
are T"? w"1 bako mealy K o ends
oven bcf0M they aro Put ln th0
mi. ht "cratches on mahotrunv fur-
lodinl aro mau" less noticeable by
mo'SpS!1 cotton wrappea
kitchen1 ?' UroPPed in tho trap of a
Pip frJ wlu Prevent tho drain
'Wom freezing nit..
wm viiwt
THE NUT CRACKER
By Who Cares
How Timet Change
Fighting for the honor of a Lady's
hand.
Fighting for the honor of a lady.
Fighting for honor.
Peace nt last.
"Help your wife" sajs the Good
Housekeeping "When she mops up the
floor mop up the floor with her.
Siren.
Co-ed: What Is your nnmo honey?
Student: My name Is Cliff. Drop
over and see me some time.
An optimist is a guy who thinks his
wife has quit clgarets when ho finds
cigar butts nround the house.
Justice You Say?
Boy brought before judge for steal-
ing beer: "I only took 19 botlcs sir."
Judge: "Boy dismissed. I can't
make a case out of 19 bottles."
News Flash: Poland woman nab-
bed with six flasks In her bloomers.
How's that for a kick in the pants?
Tough Scrap
"Hey whercinell's that chicken I
ordered an hour ago?"
"It'll be along soon sir the cook
hasn't killed It yet but she's getting
In some nast blows." Exchange.
Prof: "Mr. Montgomery I hate to
tell you this but your son is n moron."
Mr. Montgomery: "Where Is he I'll
teach that young man to join a fast-
ernity without first consulting me."
Arizona Kitty Kut.
Scientific Definition
Betty Co-ed: "The dimmer the
porch lite the greater the scandal
power. - Exchange.
How Time Changes
Some old-fashioned mothers who
can lemember their husband's fiist
kisses now have daughters who cun't
even remember their fiist husbands.
And there Is that Ophelia Toole who
is so dumb she thinks n buttress is a
female goat.
Woman (telephoning to desk clerk):
"Theie's a rat in my room."
Hotel Clerk: "Make him come down
nnd register." White Mule.
Mrs. Waid: "Come come give me
the answer please"
Student: "I can't say It but it's on
the tip of my tongue."
Another Sttule: "My gosh don't
swallow It; its nisenie!" Mit Voo
Duo.
We Wonder?
Preacher: Dat's a fine goose you
got ther Bruddah Jones. Whar did
you get such a beauty?
Jones: Well now pahson when you
preaches sermons I never axes yo'
...V.... m' crrf It T hnlin Ml' U'UI KllOW
me de same consideintlon. -Lehigh
Burr.
Prof (to unruly fieshmnn: Boy
tell me what has become of your
ethics?
Fresh: Oh sir I t tailed it in long
ago for a Hudson.- Red Cat.
The bold bad man: "Why don't oii
sit on my knee?"
Shy young lady: "Because nn moth-
er said for me to stay away from
joints."- 1915.
What's the ilot in the Anatonu
building?
Oh just the mwl. student's lolling
the bones.
Pug: "I lost my diamond ling last
night while taking a hath."
Mug: "I generally leave a ring In
my bath too." 1925.
liwhrn itn nmateur veug.l "So the
caught you witli tills bundle of silver-
wear. Whom did you piunoer.
Yegg: "Two fraternity nouses om
honor." .
Judge (to sergeant): "Call up the
down town hotels and disti Unite this
stuff." 1934.
Then there was the guy who had a
dirty Joke tutooed on his foiehnd
and was his face led! Kitty Kat.
CAMPUS HIGH-LITES
Love Maker: "Nubbin" Payne.
Match-Breaker: Miss Bailey.
Match-Maker' Collegian.
Hula Dancer: Welnia Green.
Champion S. A. Case: Gabo Smith
nml A imna Wnhh.
Whlttler (Wood): Moose Montgom-
ery. .
Sllhouetts: Sue McClelland.
Accordlan: James Forgey.
Scoutor: Carl Ellis (Scout Muster
and Eagle Scout).
Hog Caller: Wallace Meyers.
Champion Joke:
Morris Hodgers: "Who can tell mo
what a fan dancer is?"
Alvin Stanford: "A nudist with her
own cooling system."
Judge: "Liza you've been brought
In for Intoxication."
LUa: "Dats good. Boss yo Kin
Btahrt right now plcasoi"
THE DANIEL BAKER
BRIEF FLASHES
Anybody knows that a good pro-
portion of the conversation among
members of one sex Is about members
of the other sex.
Young women In a writing seminar
at Wellesley College were enough In-
terested In each other's opinions about
men to tnkc a written canvass of the
class In order to determine each girl's
qualifications for her "Ideal man."
One list that of a brilliant poetess
Includes these points: 1 He must take
a woman as a person not as a wo-
man; 2 He must bo honorable; 3 He
mttst be tolerant In every way this
Is most important; 4 He must have a
broad Intetest (chaucter social ease
Intelligence.
Another young author's list was
very short: l Ho must be generous;
2 He must be ambitious.
The third list that of a millionaire's
daughter: 1 Ho should be gracious
the sott of graclousness that goes
with a pipe and tweeds; 2 He should
be helpless at times; 3 He must be a
real person three-fourths of nil men
have only a superficial knowledge of
life; 4 He doesn't have to have a
"moral" character.
Strangely not one of the girls men-
tioned wenlth or socinl position. After
the answers were read in the class a
visiting married woman asked for the
floor and declared "You girls have
been picturing saints not men. In the
fiist place he should be intensely
masculine. Then he should be broad-
minded that's about all you can ask."
A physics class out at the Univer-
sity of Montana was being instructed
In the laws of the solor system. A
pendulum hanging from the celling
was set to swinging nnd its path was
marked on a flat table. After a few
boms members of the class were
shown that the nngle of the pendulum
to the maiked course had changed
indicating the turning of the earth.
"Gosh" a .oung freshman said as
he made his way out of the room
"Gosh but I felt insecure."
The famous Oxford Union resolu-
tion of two years ago hasn't yet ceas-
ed i cvci berating in the colleges of the
western world. The latest echo comes
out of McGill University at Montreal
where a group of undergraduates vot-
ed 233 to 83 against support of their
government in any war It might un-
dertake. "Cultuie" no doubt is the intangi-
ble will 'o the wisp that men say it is.
Surely sophomores at the University
of Minnesota thought so when they
came across this question in their an-
nual "culture test":
"Polygamy Is A. the marriage of
one woman to several men. B. the
marriage of several men to one wo-
man. C. the marriage of several men
to several women ln a sort of group
innniage. D. a situation where the
father's pait in procreation is unrec-
ognized." There is a ceitain amount of reason
behind Wilfred Smith's prejudice
against the military department at
Ohio State. Wilfred after a dtill one
day dragged his lifle listlessly ncioss
the aimory floor. A sergeant dashed
up clamped the gun in its proper
place on the boy's shoulder and bark-
ed as he took out his notebook "What
is vour name?"
"Smith."
"Oh yeah!" the officer sneered.
Harold Laski the famous Socialist
now at the London School of Econom-
ies lecenth toured the colleges of the
States. At one of them during a tea
he was Interrogated by an eager
young coed of the type who worships
the liberals of the land.
"Tell me Mr. Laski' she cooed "do
you play bridge? I'm so fond -of it."
The scholar gazed at her a moment
over the rim of his cup and then re-
plied "My dear young lady bridge is
a game devised by people who cannot
carry on a conversation or to take
money away from people who can."
TRY THIS
If you desire to find out a girl's ago
and hesitate about asking her give
her this puzzle.
Without your seeing her figures
get her to write down her weight
multiply it by 2 add r multiply the
result by 50 add her age subtract
305 add 115. The first three figures
of the result will be her weight and
the last two her age.
For instnnce suppose a person
weight 134 pounds and Is 54 years
old:
134 (weight)
2 (multiply by)
268
5 (add)
273
60 (multiply by)
13650
54 (age added)
13704
365 (subtract
13339
115 (add)
134.54 (weight and age
Sergeant: "What Is a fortification?"
Private: "Ah says daf a fortifica-
tion am two twentlflcatlonsl"
COLLEGIAN
BLACK CHILD'S LOGIC
When the fight between two colored
boys had ended It was discovered that
no serious damage had been done ex-
cept thnt one had severed the jugular
vein of the other. As a result the vic-
tor was brought before the magis-
trate and charges filed.
"Here you are again Rube" said
the magistrate. "Looks like your trou-
ble gets worse every time. This Is In-
deed a serious charge. Do you want
me to appoint a lawyer to defend
you?"
"No suh jedge" replied the youth
solemnly. "Every time de law gits me
Ah been glttln a lawyah. Den dey
slnms me in the cnlaboosc an' lets de
iuwyah go scott fice. Jedge if hlt'B
Jus' de same wld yo' dis time Ah'u
gwine'r throw mahsc'f on d Ig'rance
of be co'te."
The Taint of Temptation
In n certain city of Oklahoma a
young Negress scantily clad was
brought before the municipal court
charged with drunkenness and disor-
derly conduct. When the judge ob-
seived the absence of proper attire
he suggested thnt she go home and
put on additional clothing.
"Jedge" she answered Impudently
"Ah 'spects Ah kin dress mah body
lak Ah wants to!"
"You are fined five dollars for con-
tempt of court" retorted the magis-
trate. When she went to the desk of the
clerk she was asked what tho fine
was for. In a haughty manner and a
rebuking voice the younf Negress re-
plied: "Dc jedge say dot Ah is fined five
dollars fuh temptln'de cote!"
What It Takes to Run a Church
An editor was asked to run the fol-
lowing announcement: Mount Hebron
Babtlst Chu-ch Reverend Josephus
Hunnlcutt Pastah Preachln' mawn-
In' nn' nlte In de promulgation of de
gospil thiee books Is necessary: De
Bible dc hymn book an' de pocket-
book Come and bring all three.
WE'RE HERE
with the most
complete line for
SPRING. SUMMER
that we have ever
had talk about
Snap and Class
those
Born-Spring-Styles
certainly have it
Bright Pretty
Patterns
New Ideas in
Weaves and Color
Combinations
and a
Wonderful Line of
Sea-Breeze-Weaves
Warm Weather
Fabrics that will
sell on sight
Every Fabric
Guaranteed All Wool
PRICES?
Well wait 'til you see
these new lines
They're Here
NOW!
AZTEC
DRY CLEANERS
1008 Austin Ave.
Phone 361
DUMBNESS GALORE
A football player In a small college
was extraordinarily dumb but to the
surprise of everyone he passed all of
his work Including a special examina-
tion in chemistry. The chemistry pro-
fessor was asked about It and he said
"I decided I would let him pass If he
answered 50 per cent of the questions
correctly.
"I asked him two questions one he
answered wrong one right. There-
fore I let him pass. The first was
What color Is blue vitriol?' He an-
swered 'Pink.' That time he was
wrong. The other was 'How do you
make sulphuric acid?' He answered
that he didn't know. That time he was
right."
Business Insight
A portly Negro woman entered the
door of the office and inquired if she
could get a fire insurance policy on
her husband.
"This Is the fire Insurance office
but what you want Is life insurance"
replied the clerk.
"Nossuh" she replied "Ah doesn't.
Whut Ah craves an' whut Ah's gwine'r
git Is fire inshorance 'case dat trlflln'
Niggah's been fired fo' times in de
las' seven days."
I was going down the street
My heart was all a-flutter
And I lay down In the gutter
A litlte pig came and lay down by
my side
A lady chanced to pass that way
And this is what I heard her say
"You can tell a man that booses
By the company that he chooses."
The little pig got up and slowly walk-
ed away.
PALACE DRUG STORE
MALTED MILKS 90
LARGE GRAPE JUICE 50
ORANGE ADE 50
LARGE LIMEADE 50
WELCOME TO OUR STUDIO
DANIEL BAKER STUDENTS
Kodak Finishing Picture lsisg
MAYO STUDIOS
Brownwood Texas
SEE THE
New Silent Corona and L C. Smith
ALL MAKES OF
TYPEWRITERS REPAIRED
J. A. Collins Typewriter Exchange
2 1 1 East Baker Phone 1 623R I
SPECIAL ON TENNIS BALLS
WRIGHT and DITSON TENNIS BALLS
ON SALE AT THE SPECIAL LOW
Price of 250 Each
DUBLIN & CANON
SUITS
AND PLAIN DRESSES
Cleaned and Pressed
50c
Cash and Carry
WHY PAY MORE?
Our Work Is Guaranteed
ARCH F. ADAMS
THE TAILOR
Located at Old College Inn Stand
1512 Austin Ave.
PfT!irM
Valeria Beauty Shop
Guaranteed Permanent!
$1.00 up
Finger Waves 25c
Shampoo and Finger
Waves 50c
Eyebrow and Lash Dye
25c; two for 30c
109 East Chandler
Shorty's Cafe
Sandwiches and Drinks
408 Center Ave.
WE ARE FOR D. B. C.
APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS
HENDERSON'S
SHOE SHOP
412 Center Avenue
Photos 4 Poses 100
Takes only 4 Minutes
ENLARGEMENTS
La Mode
208 Center Ave.
r
k.'
a
X
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The Collegian (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 15, Ed. 1, Thursday, January 17, 1935, newspaper, January 17, 1935; Brownwood, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth100078/m1/3/?q=Lamar+University: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Howard Payne University Library.